After Zhu Youxian left, Liang Yuan was about to go to the front yard, but was stopped by Zhu Yourong.
Honestly, she and Zhu Yourong really had nothing to say. Perhaps because she had been oppressed so harshly by the Wang family, Zhu Yourong was extremely sensitive. She would overthink even a simple word, which tired her and the person who spoke to her.
"Yuanyuan, don't be angry with Youxian. She just wanted the rabbit because it was cute," Zhu Yourong said hesitantly. She guessed Youxian wanted the rabbit to cook it and eat it, so she wanted to make amends for her.
"Sister, I'm not angry." Liang Yuan said briefly.
But the more she spoke, the more worried Zhu Yourong became. She continued to make excuses for Zhu Youxian, saying, "We had such a hard time back then. We even had to chew on tree bark and grass roots. Mom said she didn't want Xiaoliu and the others to go through that again, so she spoiled them a little. As long as it wasn't excessive, Mom would satisfy them. To the point that when they saw good things, they thought they were theirs. They weren't bad people at heart."
Liang Yuan said, "Sister, I know all this. I'm not angry, you don't need to explain. I actually want to know why you think I'm angry?"
Zhu Yourong said somewhat helplessly, "Ah? You're really not angry. Don't you think Youxian wants to eat the rabbit? Don't you think Youxian is very selfish? Don't you feel guilty if you don't tell her what will happen to her in the future? Aren't you afraid that Youliang will blame you?"
"I do, but I'm not angry, because Atong didn't agree. Even if I were to ask, I wouldn't agree. Look, the rabbit is still there, right? As for Youxian, what does it have to do with me? I married your sixth brother, not your family. Even if I wanted to take a step back and teach Youxian a lesson for you, regardless of whether my teaching is right or not, it would be a futile effort. Youxian would never listen to me, just like I wouldn't listen to her. We both have our own ways of dealing with things. Besides my parents, the only ones who can teach Youxian are the painful reality. And, sister, even if I'm angry with Youxian, it's not your fault. Why are you so worried?"
"That's not the case." Zhu Yourong murmured, "I'm her eldest sister, I have an obligation to teach her. I have been taking care of them since they were young. If they make a mistake, my parents and the people around them will say that I didn't take good care of them. Is it really not my fault? I remember one time, I was so tired that I couldn't help but take a nap, so I didn't know that Youjie woke up and turned over in the cradle. He, his head hit the chair, poked a big hole, and there was a lot of blood. I... I was scared. Then the third uncle rushed in and slapped me. My parents also blamed me for not taking good care of Youjie. I was only twelve years old at that time. I was afraid that Youjie would die, so I took advantage of the fact that no one was paying attention. I ran out and hid in a pile of firewood. It was really dark at that time, and I could still hear the howling of wolves in Xiaocang Mountain, but I didn't dare to come out. Later, everyone in the village was looking for me. I heard that Youjie was fine, so I dared to come out. After I came out, I was scolded again. They blamed me for hiding for no reason and made them look for me for a long time. Everything I did was wrong... That night, I was afraid that they would scold me again, so I pretended that I was not hungry and didn't even eat dinner. I was so hungry that I couldn't sleep at night. I looked out the window and saw the round moon like a cake. You say now that I can ignore Youxian? What she does has nothing to do with me, is that really the case? "Zhu Yourong said the last part, tears already streaming down her face.
The little ones were playing with the rabbit nearby, but when they saw her crying, they didn't dare to say a word.
When Liang Yuan saw this, he said to Zhu Xingtong, "Atong, take your brothers and sisters to the front yard to play."
Zhu Xingtong nodded, looked worriedly at the still trembling Zhu Yourong, and then pulled Tongtong and the others to the front yard.
After the children left, Liang Yuan pulled Zhu Yourong into her room and sat down. She pulled a handkerchief from the string and handed it to her, "Big sister, wipe it first."
Zhu Yourong took the washcloth awkwardly, wiped it roughly, and then said hesitantly: "Yuanyuan, elder sister, I..."
"I understand. Big sister, I've thought seriously about what you said just now. You were only twelve years old at that time, so it's understandable that you didn't take good care of your brother. You don't have to blame yourself too much. And it's not entirely your responsibility to take care of your younger brother. It's your parents' responsibility. It's great that you can help your parents take care of your younger brother. As for Youjie's head being broken, it was purely an accident. If you really want to blame someone, I should say something I shouldn't say, that is, if there is no one to look after the children, then there should be no need to have so many children. As for your parents blaming you, they were probably scared by Youjie's injury. It's over, and you don't have to mind it at all. Besides, the children have grown up, and they need to be responsible for their own actions. For example, Youxian, she started studying late, and she is eighteen this year. She can be responsible for anything she does. Even if she did something wrong, it can't be blamed on you."
"But then I'm not a good elder sister, am I? My parents taught me since I was young to give in to my younger siblings, to help them and look after them. I used to think that after I got married, I wouldn't have to worry about other people's mistakes, but when I went to the Wang family, they would blame me for any bad things that happened to the Wang family, saying that I was a jinx. My sister-in-law is only two years younger than me. When I first got married, she was still single, but later she ran away with someone else for some reason. That's it, her family blamed me, saying that she should have run away earlier or later, but she ran away as soon as I got married into her family. I, I... Don't you know how hard my life has been these years? I live in fear every day, afraid of saying or doing something wrong. I am afraid that others will point fingers at me, afraid that others will be dissatisfied with me, afraid that I am the unlucky star they are talking about. Whenever I think about what others will think of me, I get scared. I hate myself like this, but I can't be brave. I don't even dare to refute myself. I am afraid that if I refute them, they will hate me even more. I try so hard to please everyone, but no one likes me. Yuanyuan, tell me, what should I do? You don't know how much I envy you. You are so lazy, your parents' home is not nearby, and your temper is not very good. I have never seen you please anyone, but Youliang is good to you, and everyone likes you. How can I become like you? "Zhu Yourong cried again as she spoke.
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