Thought Shaping
I remember that when I was in the first grade, there was an aunt selling fried potatoes outside the school. Wu Mei, who was still young, couldn’t tell how old she was. I only remember that the aunt looked like a fairy and always wore sleeveless dresses that showed off her beautiful curves such as her arms and shoulders. At that time, Wu Mei didn’t buy potatoes when she came, but she liked to run to her stall and stay there after class.
Until one day, the aunt never appeared outside the school gate again.
She heard other vendors gossiping: He was beaten so harshly. Wearing so little all day long is immoral and he deserves it.
Serves you right… it’s immoral…
Wu Meilai looked down at her short-sleeved breeches, revealing half her arms and calves. She didn't know the meaning of the idiom "sinister and corrupting customs," but she knew it was a bad word. She waited anxiously until lunchtime, then ran home, covering herself up as if she were naked, and changed into long-sleeved shirts and long pants.
From then on, she never wore "revealing" clothes again.
Wu Meilai turned back to look at the mirror with a twinkling gaze. The curvature of her neck and shoulders, the rounded curve from her shoulders to her arms, the straight line of her collarbone, the dimple where the two clavicles met... every part was beautiful.
She unbuttoned her clothes with her backhand, lowered her eyes, stared at a point in the mirror, and her thoughts returned to the past.
She was in the fourth grade at that time, probably, and her body had already started to develop.
It was the hottest summer day, and she was wearing a light chiffon long-sleeved top, playing and laughing with her classmates on the playground. While tugging at a classmate, she suddenly exclaimed, "Wu Meilai, why aren't you wearing any underwear?"
Wu Meilai didn't understand why.
"We all saw that." The other two students echoed in shock, their expressions as if they knew some shocking secret.
"Which one?" Wu Meilai bent down unconsciously in their sight so that her clothes would no longer stick to her skin.
"That's right, that's right...that." The girls were a little anxious, "Why don't you wear small clothes?"
Wu Mei came and saw them all nodding. She felt uneasy and grabbed her long sleeves and explained, "I'm getting dressed."
"No, I mean..." The girl moved closer to Wu Mei, pulled the collar to the side, pointed at the shoulder straps, and whispered, "This kind of small clothes."
Wu Meilai lowered her eyes, took a look, and then looked away, her heart beating fast.
Afterwards, Wu Meilai and Liu Guiyan spent a few dollars to buy the small clothes they mentioned. She felt very uncomfortable at first, but later she got used to it.
Wu Meilai thought that the thing a woman lacked most in her life was guidance. There was always someone who would tell you, directly or indirectly, what to do and what not to do. Men, women, the elderly, children, people you knew and people you didn't know... no matter how much you grew up, you would always become what they needed you to be.
After hanging her underwear on the hook, Wu Meilai faced her entire body for the first time.
She still doesn't know what "that" is, but it's just a noun from a biology textbook.
When she was younger, she would wonder why she needed to cover her nipples when there were so many other boys showing their nipples in the river, or why she needed to cover her nipples when she had a bulge. But she didn't know when she stopped thinking about these disturbing questions.
She even had this idea: A girl's body should not be seen by others. If someone sees my body, I will jump into the river.
Wu Meilai turned her back and closed her eyes to take a bath.
When she came out of the bathroom, she saw Zhou Qianling wandering around the room. Wu Meilai's heartbeat, which had been steady, began to beat faster and she quickly looked away.
"You, you, why don't you cover it up?"
"The bed is so dirty, I don't want to touch it." Zhou Qianling said it as a matter of course, and he seemed to be ready to come over and put his arm around her.
Wu Meilai dodged her hand and scurried out the door, leaving only a sentence: "I'm going to buy sheets."
Zhou Qianling's hands were still stretched in the air, his brows furrowed.
Sure enough, straightforward seduction will only scare people away.
--
Wu Meilai, who was scared away, patted her chest with lingering fear.
Staying any longer would definitely put pressure on Zhou Qianling. After all... beautiful things always make people want to take a second look.
The cold wind blew, Wu Meilai shivered, wrapped her clothes tightly and walked quickly to the street.
The market has already dispersed and there are not many people left. Most of the shops are closed and the vendors are packing up their stalls one after another. I wonder what time the only supermarket will be open.
Thinking of this, Wu Meilai quickened her pace again, and only felt relieved when she saw the lights behind the supermarket's small door in the distance.
The only supermarket in town is as big as two rooms and is filled with daily necessities. Because the prices are higher than those in ordinary stores, not many people buy there, and many of the goods are covered with a layer of dust.
Wu Meilai squatted down and took out a bag of sheets from a pile of sheets at the bottom of the shelf. She looked at the transparent packaging bag to see if it was clean before standing up.
There was no one in the supermarket, and the only sound I could hear was the bang bang bang of gunfire from the war movie playing on the boss's DVD player.
Wu Meilai strolled around the daily use area, picked up two sets of toiletries and a set of underwear, and looked around to see if she needed anything else.
When she passed the blanket, she stopped, thinking that Zhou Qianling might not only dislike the dirty sheets, so she picked up the blanket as well.
Looking at the price, the handwritten numbers have faded due to the passage of time.
"Boss..." Wu Meilai turned to look at the cashier and was stunned.
The CD was playing a video of a woman being insulted by the Japanese army - her clothes were disheveled, her face was in disarray, and her eyes were dull as she was hugged by her husband.
"What are you doing?"
Wu Mei came back to her senses and asked, "How much is this blanket?"
The boss turned his head and took a look. "One hundred and thirty."
Wu Meilai nodded absentmindedly, hearing her husband's meaningless words like "You are not dirty" and "We can overcome it together".
Perhaps Zhou Qianling's impact on her was indeed quite great, and Wu Meilai slowly began to develop some unusual feelings about the usual things.
These scenes showing the numbness and helplessness of women are not uncommon. Wu Meilai, who has seen them since she was a child, can guess the direction of their development: the woman has been hurt, and putting aside the physical and mental pain, she hates herself first for having lost her virginity, bringing shame to her hometown, and making her husband lose face and unable to live a human life.
He carried a bunch of things and put them on the counter.
thump.
The sound of a stone falling into a well came from the TV behind me. I guess the woman took advantage of the dead of night when no one was paying attention and sneaked out to commit suicide.
Wu Meilai didn't look back, but she clearly saw that it was the director who carried her out of the door, and her husband and family pushed her to the edge of the well. They and the audience in front of the TV were inciting: You are dirty, jump in.
You may not agree with it after hearing it once, but what if you hear it ten thousand times?
Falsehood will naturally become truth!
Wu Meilai suddenly felt angry for no apparent reason. After being at a loss for a few seconds, she finally sighed deeply to hide her sudden emotion.
The boss counted and said, "A total of one hundred and eighty."
Wu Mei came to scan the code and enter the password, but was told that she did not have enough change, so she changed her bank card.
I took the bag and put the things in. Suddenly I heard someone asking which direction to go to Laowa Village.
Wu Meilai turned around and saw a man standing outside the supermarket. He had short, messy hair, looking casual and unfussy. He was wearing a loose black jacket and jeans.
Like a man.
"Laowa Village. Go straight ahead from here. When you reach a fork in the road, take the right one. Then drive for about ten minutes and then take the road below... Forget it, I can't explain it clearly. It's quite far. You can ask when the time comes." The boss gestured.
"Is this the right way to go?" the woman asked politely. She explained, "The navigation isn't working very well here. I'm worried I'm going the wrong way."
"That's right."
"Thank you, uncle." The woman thanked him and gave Wu Meilai a bright smile before returning to the car.
The car left, and the boss stood up, looked outside, and began to gossip: "Tsk tsk Yan A, these girls outside nowadays are acting like androgynous, what a shame, it's a disgrace to public morals."
It is "indecent and corrupt".
If Wu Mei has had the impression since childhood that this word means exposing the skin, then now that woman only shows her face, what morals are being violated and what customs are being ruined?
It's really annoying.
"It looks good to me." Wu Meilai walked out of the supermarket carrying the bag.
Walking to the door of 301, she hesitated for a few steps and knocked the door reluctantly.
The knocking sound echoed in the corridor, and the next second the door opened, and there was still a sea of white behind the door.
"What's taking so long?"
"I looked at a few more clothes." Wu Meilai walked past her with her head down, placed the powder on the table, and took out a set of clothes and underwear bought from the supermarket from a black plastic bag. "Get dressed and eat."
Zhou Qianling took it with one hand, but did not retract it. Instead, he stared at her profile and asked, "Don't you dare look?"
Wu Meilai panicked, then thought: A woman's body shouldn't be something to be ashamed of, especially since I'm a woman too. If I don't care, it would be strange for me to be so uncomfortable.
So, she turned her head as if she was holding back her anger, and saw her belly button and...
Too, too far down.
She raised her gaze a few inches and forced herself to look straight ahead.
In just two seconds, her eyes shook, and her gaze slowly moved upwards uncontrollably as if being pulled, and finally stopped at the other person's half-smile in his eyes.
"No, there's nothing I'm afraid of." Wu Meilai quietly pinched the corner of her clothes.
Zhou Qianling chuckled, stopped teasing her, and spread out his clothes and put them on one by one.
"How's my figure?" After fastening the last button, Zhou Qianling leaned lazily on the table, raised his lips and asked for his impressions of the movie.
The lipstick on her lips had been washed off long ago, but they were still plump and moist, like new pink peach blossoms in spring.
Wu Meilai was dazzled and moved her lips in a mumbling manner.
Wake up the next second.
"It's all the same." Wu Meilai lowered her eyelids, turned around and ignored her, just buried her head in picking powder.
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