Chapter 230 In what capacity?
Haruko fiddled with the equipment on the lab table, admiring the familiar glass exterior while secretly glancing at Orochimaru.
Why are you looking at me?
Sensing her gaze keenly, Orochimaru continued to work with his hands.
Haruko stammered, "I just think... Orochimaru is pretty amazing."
Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. "Your definition of 'powerful' is as strange as ever."
"Has Orochimaru thought about what he'll do in the future?" Haruko carefully observed his expression.
"The future?" Orochimaru gave her a strange look. "I won't think about the future until I've figured out immortality."
Why is Orochimaru so determined to achieve immortality?
Orochimaru paused, slowly lowered the test tube, and looked at her. "I thought you knew."
"For me?" Haruko said, but then shook her head. "Orochimaru, I know you."
His words could deceive everyone, even his own naive self, but they couldn't deceive Haruko Hayama, who had been with him for many years.
Perhaps at first it was because he witnessed her death and wanted to revive her and achieve immortality, but Orochimaru, who later forgot his memories, still chose to go through the first time loop, which shows that he was actually doing it all for himself.
She wasn't sure what Orochimaru had been thinking in the years after she left, but he ultimately betrayed Konoha.
However, what is certain is that he felt uneasy because of her death, and was constantly worried about the passing of life, fearing that he would disappear from this world unknowingly, just like she existed in his hazy memories.
Haruko couldn't help but feel sorry for Orochimaru, who was so fragile and insecure.
She had finally managed to be there for him through the deaths of his parents and the brutality of World War II, but unexpectedly, her own death cast a shadow over Orochimaru's heart once again.
"Orochimaru... I'm sorry."
Haruko opened her mouth, but it seemed that nothing she said could fill the void of his unease, so in the end she could only apologize.
Orochimaru seemed not to understand her meaning, and instead said regretfully, "It seems that my feelings of affection have been underestimated."
Haruko found it somewhat amusing. When Orochimaru was young, he always had an arrogant and self-centered demeanor, but she never expected him to grow up to be such a playful and teasing person.
"So, I never thought I'd be admired by a genius from Konoha. A lot of people would be envious if word got out, right?" Haruko teased him.
Orochimaru looked back at her without turning his head, and said, word by word, "If we can make our future together a reality, perhaps more people will envy us."
Looking into the obscure emotions in his eyes, Haruko turned her head away, unable to meet his gaze, and replied in a flustered tone, "Don't joke around, Orochimaru."
Why do you think it's a joke?
His question froze Haruko in place, shattering the long-standing ambiguity of their relationship. Haruko was forced to confront her friend's affections, a difficult situation to handle and even harder for her to respond to now.
Haruko was somewhat at a loss. "But... I don't understand why you suddenly..."
“It wasn’t sudden.” Orochimaru’s hoarse voice turned deep. “You’ve already heard the story of how this subtle feeling came about.”
Haruko's dazed mind drifted into memories as he spoke in a long, drawn-out voice.
"Without you by my side, I feel even more restless and unsettled..."
"When I meet your expectant, sparkling eyes, I think I should be happy..."
"Living may not have any real meaning, but only by living can you encounter interesting things..."
"Just like I met you before, I've met you again now."
The windows, which had been closed since her arrival, were rattled by the wind blowing out, producing the only rustling sound in the laboratory.
Orochimaru quietly looked at her with her head bowed, seemingly waiting for her to give a response, but the intense emotions churning in his eyes betrayed his inner turmoil.
After a long while, Haruko finally spoke in a conflicted and apologetic voice.
"I'm sorry, Orochimaru, I... am unable to respond to you right now."
Not disappointed by the rejection, Orochimaru instead tried to salvage their relationship from another angle. "Sure enough, should I have said it back then?"
“No…it was the same even before.” Haruko raised her head as if she had finally found the courage to look him in the eye. “We…just didn’t meet each other at the best time.”
The ambiguous denial caused Orochimaru's previously suppressed negative emotions to suddenly rise when she apologized.
He had already made excuses for their missed connection, so why did she continue to deny everything they had ever done together?!
"Didn't you say you would try your best to stay by my side?" Orochimaru's face twisted into a grimace. "Looks like it was all a lie to keep me locked up in Konoha!"
Haruko was unusually firm about his decision to defect, saying, "I also said that Orochimaru should try his best to stay by my side, right?"
"In what capacity?" Orochimaru questioned her.
Haruko was speechless when asked the question, and at the same time, she kept questioning herself: what kind of status could she have to keep him here?
At first, she was a friend, hoping he would stay in Konoha and not follow the same path; for a moment, she became an enemy, hoping they would never be on opposite sides; later, their friendship was tinged with pity, and they were no longer the same.
Sensing his suppressed pain and fear, she just wanted to stay by his side.
Is this love?
Haruko couldn't be sure about this subtle change, but she didn't need to be.
She knew that Orochimaru didn't want to hear about these things; rather, he wanted to hear about the promises she couldn't make as she was about to leave.
In what capacity can she keep him here now?
Annoyed that she wouldn't admit anything, Orochimaru gritted his teeth, his restless emotions stirring his nerves, and he began to speak recklessly.
"How about this: defect from the village, abandon the moral bottom line you set for me, capture some living subjects to speed up the experiment. As long as we achieve immortality, we can spend a lifetime discussing it!"
His obsessive words made Haruko's face turn cold, and an arrogant and tense atmosphere swelled around them. Neither of them showed any weakness as they stared into each other's eyes.
"Stretch out your hand!"
Without saying a word, Haruko walked up to him, pulled out his left hand, and used the white thread to tear through the thick bandage in one go.
Seeing the blood seeping from the mixed old and new carvings, Haruko's face darkened further.
Even though she had reappeared in his life, he still felt insecure and kept reopening his wounds, as if he wanted to whisper the name "Haruko" deep into his life.
Haruko gripped his wrist tightly with one hand, while her other hand was used to carve words, emitting a faint green light.
Realizing she intended to fully heal his injuries, Orochimaru struggled in terror, crying out, "No! How could you do this!"
Orochimaru tried to pull his hand back, but found that Haruko's strength was terrifying at this moment. She glared at him with suppressed anger, instantly freezing Orochimaru in place.
"Orochimaru, look at me!" Haruko roared. "I can't alleviate your fear of death because I am the culprit."
"But I hope you won't be trapped by me. Death has meaning for me! If my death can bring happiness to everyone, I feel there is nothing more worthwhile!"
"You should support my life choices, both past and future, just as I support yours, whether it's eternal life or settling for whatever comes your way, because it's your life choice!"
“But you can’t…you can’t let yourself live in the pain and unease that you were born out of me. I’ll hate myself…”
******
The list of recipients of gratitude as of April 12, 2024:
grateful--
Yuan Sheng's activation gift of 2 update reminder tokens
The Fire of Tianya City sent me a reminder charm, a like, and 3 flowers.
K, the one who sent the update reminder charm
2 flowers sent by zimeng
The Chinese people are awesome :-), Liang Hong who loves spicy potato strips, Xiao Yu not Xiao Yu, Mo Wentian who loves red bean jelly, Cat who loves to eat ^o^, Early Summer.Starry Sky, Half Summer ss, Qian Huiyue, Red-Clothed Xiang Yi Sai Gao, Yam Cake with Jujube Paste Filling, Kuisen Sauce A, Likes Big Scaled Turtle, Wang Yunchuan who likes Sea Hedgehog, Xuan Chun, Purple Sweet Potato Porridge, Jin Xiula from Nanning, Rabbit Xi Beibei, Qian Cha Jun, Yuan Jian Niao, Nian Ziyi, Sprite-Flavored Pig, Fufu Funina's gift of "Powering Up for Love"
Thank you for the gifts! The author is so touched! Orochimaru gives a wicked, seductive smile (ω′)
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