Chapter 273 The Person Who Doesn't Exist
Dark clouds loomed, and the pale gray light emitted a silent hum as it passed over the solemn monument to the heroes.
Kakashi Hatake has lost count of how many times he has stood before the monument to pay his respects. He skillfully placed the small white flowers he had picked along the way in front of the monument.
At first, he would count how many days it was.
After the number of visits increased, he stopped keeping track.
For the past sixteen years, a strange, heavy feeling has been weighing on his heart.
I can't quite describe the feeling.
Loneliness? Sadness? Angry?
None of these can fully capture this complex emotion.
He often has a strong sense of déjà vu when walking on a certain road, eating a certain food, or seeing what others are doing.
It seems like he's been to this place with someone before, it seems like he's eaten this food with someone before, it seems like he's done this kind of thing with someone before...
A strong sense of familiarity lingered in his mind, as if he could grasp this thread of thought if he thought about it carefully.
But when he racks his brains to recall, that spark of inspiration will cunningly slip away and dissipate as he is at his wit's end.
It's something I've never really figured out, yet it feels like I've lost it countless times.
He could only keep telling himself that the person he thought he knew didn't exist, that he was just overthinking things, or that it was just a delusion caused by his recent overthinking.
His childhood memories are very coherent, without any unclear or incomplete parts.
Even if fate asked him to insert someone into the first half of his life, he wouldn't know where to begin.
Therefore, this person definitely does not exist...
In an effort to suppress his inexplicable emotions, Kakashi Hatake even tried to stop visiting the memorial stone.
But when he thought about not being able to go there today, he felt like he was crawling with ants all over his body, and anxiety and unease gradually piled up until they completely gnawed at him.
That day, he even forgot about his mission with the secret service and spent the whole night at the memorial monument.
The night's dampness seeped into his bones, while the rustling of insects and the piercing cries of birds penetrated his brain.
But he stubbornly stayed there.
Like an abandoned stray cat, it curls up in a ball next to the memorial, seeking a meager sense of security.
There was always an inexplicable urge within him that wanted to burst forth, to release all his melancholy and sorrow.
But unfortunately, there is no such person as an outlet for venting.
Therefore, he could only suppress all his inexplicable emotions and remain alone in a sullen silence.
Perhaps it was because Heaven took heed of his deep and intense longing that he actually saw this person in his dream one day.
She is a beautiful girl.
She has a lively and vibrant soul.
Kakashi Hatake himself didn't know how he could tell she was beautiful from a blurry image.
In his dream, this girl, whom he couldn't see clearly and whose name he didn't know, always liked to talk to him.
"Kakashi!"
"Are you unhappy today, Kakashi?"
"Kakashi, please talk to me..."
Upon waking, everything in the dream became sticky and chaotic, ignoring his urgency and attempts to keep me, and vanished like smoke.
For a long time, he was obsessed with sleeping.
Aside from his work in the shadows, he slept whenever he had time, sometimes even only eating a few bites of food before rushing off to sleep.
He becomes more anxious if he can't sleep or suffers from insomnia.
He desperately wanted to dream of her again.
But it was too difficult; he dreamed of her only a handful of times.
Therefore, when he dreamed of her again after that, Kakashi Hatake no longer stood there staring at her like an idiot, nor did he ask her who she was even though he knew there was no answer.
He learned to calm down and stay by her side.
Listen to her say whatever comes to mind, and then respond with something that will make her happy.
"Kakashi, is the weather nice outside?"
"It's alright, tomorrow might be a sunny day that you like."
"Kakashi, did you like the fried fish I made?"
"It's delicious, much better than what I make."
"Kakashi, am I pretty?"
"Beautiful, you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."
"Kakashi, will you remember me?"
"I... want to remember."
As time went by, he soon noticed that the intervals between his dreams about her were getting longer.
Sometimes, I wouldn't dream about her even once a month.
He never dreamed of her again after that.
All her previous dreams vanished like smoke in the wind.
He became more silent and lifeless.
Several years later, Obito Uchiha ended his training journey and returned to Konoha with his master.
When Obito Uchiha came to see him, he couldn't believe how he had become like this.
Kakashi Hatake couldn't answer him because he didn't know what to say.
Yes, how did he become like this...?
Obito Uchiha was a fool with an extremely strong sense of justice. He not only pestered him to leave the Anbu, but also frequently dragged him and Rin Nohara onto missions.
It was as if they had returned to the days when they were a trio.
With the two of them by his side, Kakashi Hatake felt much better, and even cherished the time he spent with them.
But he doesn't seem to deserve happiness.
Obito Uchiha went missing while on a mission alone.
Kakashi Hatake searched for him for a long time, ignoring the advice of others, searching almost day and night, but to no avail.
When Rin Nohara stood in the Hokage's office to report, their faces were both somber.
Minato Namikaze asked him if Obito Uchiha had exhibited any unusual behavior or said anything before his disappearance.
Kakashi Hatake shook his head.
Silence fell again in the room.
After leaving the office, Nohara Rin murmured to herself, "If we can't find him, Obito... might be declared dead."
His fine silver hair obscured Kakashi Hatake's expression; he remained silent, his fists clenched tightly.
He was actually lying.
Before Obito Uchiha disappeared, he came looking for him, and his eyes held intense emotions that Obito couldn't understand.
He rushed over and grabbed Kakashi Hatake by the collar, pulling so hard that Kakashi felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck.
His voice was full of anger as he roared at Kakashi Hatake.
"Weren't you always the one by her side before?"
"Why? Why didn't you protect her?!"
"If I had known it would turn out like this, I shouldn't have trusted you in the first place! I shouldn't have entrusted her safety to you!"
Obito Uchiha clenched his teeth, his furrowed brows filled with pent-up rage, and the veins on his hands, gripping his collar so tightly they were bulging.
Kakashi Hatake's pupils contracted, and he didn't even notice the sudden outburst from Kakashi.
He pressed urgently, "What did you say? Who are you talking about?"
Obito Uchiha's inexplicable words struck a chord with Kakashi Hatake's long-standing confusion, and Kakashi Hatake was even more eager than Obito to know the truth.
He was so close... He would soon find out who she was!
******
The list of recipients of gratitude as of July 14, 2024:
grateful--
A handsome cat. (A reminder to update!)
Frog frog frog. The free bubble tea.
A decaying flower bud, a crane tree (,), the warm winter sun. A love letter sent.
Xiaoge is the best! Give her a thumbs up!
The following are the names of the authors: Passerby A (a teacher), Mu Xue Shu Yu, Empera Alien of Yancheng Mountain Island, Jiu You Yu, Yi Gu You Tai Du Wei, Leng Leng Qing Qing's clay figurine, San Hao Squirrel, Jin Xiu La of Nanning, Yuan Wei^, Yi Su Yuan, Please eat strawberries~, A Yu Zhen Di C, Yan Yi Yue, Healing Unicorn from Electric Firelight (gifted by Ai De Generating Electricity ×3)
Babuzeer, Xia Youjie, Fendou Ajuan, Silver_w, dkdk. Two gifts sent with love.
Username 44805794, Naga who likes long-waisted tuna, tsuki Jia, Wu Ziyun, Piano Lacquerer, Early Summer.Starry Sky, Crane Tree (, Clavicies, is a whale duck, Sakurai Yuki, I don't believe this pen name can still exist, Not Cloud Up and Down, Best Express, Yu & Jiu Ci, ★★● a gift powered by love
Thank you for the gifts! The author is so touched! Kakashi presents a pure white flower.
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