Chapter 79 Immersive House Play
Seeing that the two of them had run out, Haruko also appeared with Hiruko by her side.
"Haha, what a coincidence, Orochimaru!" Haruko Hayashi started by striking up a conversation with him.
Orochimaru glanced at her holding Hiruko's hand and sneered, "You've got a whole repertoire of pretty words."
Haruko Hayama: ...
"Don't say that! Orochimaru and I are good friends!"
"Who's your good friend?"
Orochimaru turned around and continued his training, ignoring the two embarrassed people behind him and the idiot chasing after him in the distance.
"Isn't Orochimaru tired after training for so long?" Haruko asked considerately.
As long as he says he's tired, we can move on to the next step of the plan!
Orochimaru saw through her scheme. "Oh? It sounds like you want me to rest."
"We want to play with Orochimaru!" Haruko Hayama extended an olive branch.
"you?"
Orochimaru glanced at Tsunade and Jiraiya, who had finally stopped, and at the uneasy Hiruko, and began to wonder what Haruko Hayama was up to.
"We're planning to play a game, can Orochimaru join us?"
"Alright." Orochimaru decided to see what they were up to.
Then……
"I am the mother, Tsunade is the father, and Orochimaru and Hiruko are twin babies."
Haruko happily assigned everyone their roles, and the game of house officially began.
Jiraiya didn't find it childish at all, and excitedly asked, "What about me? What about me?"
Tsunade answered first: "Jirai is a dog too!"
"Why am I a dog?!"
Jiraiya noticed that everyone else was laughing and was very unhappy with this character assignment.
Haruko kindly suggested, "Then Jiraiya could be a pet hedgehog too."
"...I don't care! Why can Tsunade be a father even though she's a girl?" Jiraiya said angrily, glancing at Haruko Hayama. "I should be the father!"
"Hey, how could you, you lecher, possibly have a wife!" Tsunade exposed the truth.
Haruko quickly reassured them, "Because Tsunade is really suitable for this role, why don't you try out Jiraiya first? If Tsunade isn't suitable, we can find someone else?"
Hearing Haruko's words, Jiraiya felt embarrassed to continue being unreasonable. "Alright then..."
At this moment, Orochimaru spoke up: "I don't recall saying I was going to play the treasure... cough, child."
Baby? That's a really disgusting term.
Haruko complained, "But Orochimaru promised to play with us, how can he go back on his word?"
"...Whatever you want." Orochimaru felt that trying to reason with a girl meant he was being unreasonable.
"Hahaha..." Hiruko could only awkwardly laugh on the sidelines because he wasn't familiar with the others.
Haruko clapped her hands in the morning.
"Alright! Let's begin the first act of playing house!"
——
Tsunade: "Wife, I'm home!" (Staggers into the house)
Haruko: "Honey, you're back! Why did you drink so much again?" (She goes to help her drunk husband)
Tsunade: "Never mind that! Where's the child?" (She ruthlessly slaps her hand away)
Haruko Hayama: "The child is watching TV." (Sad expression)
Hiruko: "Father, you're back." (Shame)
Orochimaru: "..."
——
"Orochimaru, you need to say your lines!" Director Haruko Hayama instructed.
Orochimaru looked impatient. "Why should I call her that?"
Tsunade said smugly, "Because you're my son!"
Orochimaru: ...
Haruko suddenly had an idea: "How about this? Orochimaru is a rebellious kid, so he's very rude to his drunken dad!"
Tsunade praised, "The logic is correct!"
Orochimaru: ...This can be considered a form of resistance.
——
Tsunade: "That brat, he's ignoring me again!" (She wobbles as she sits between the two children)
Orochimaru, who had been slapped without his knowledge: "...Are you looking for death?"
Tsunade: "Ugh, my temper is flaring up!" (Makes a gesture as if to scold her rebellious son again)
Haruko: "Honey! Little Snake is just in a bad mood, don't hit the child!" (Quickly pulls him away)
Orochimaru: "Little snake???"
——
"Orochimaru, you need to act more seriously!" Haruko Hayama was very unhappy.
Jiraiya chimed in, "Exactly! Look how serious I am, even when I'm playing a dog!"
Jiraiya, finally able to find a sense of superiority over Orochimaru: Hmph!
Orochimaru: "...What acting skills do dogs need?"
"Alright, alright, Orochimaru, you can't cause any more trouble!"
——
Tsunade: "Get out of my way! I work hard all day to earn money to support this whole family, and what do you all do? You just waste your time and energy!" (Furious)
Hiruko: "Father, I'm only three years old." (Proud of his own brilliance and prowess)
Tsunade: "So what if he's three? Look at the neighbor's kid, he's already a three-year-old!" (Completely unreasonable)
——
"Tsunade, isn't it a bit too much to say that a three-year-old is already a genin?" Haruko Hayama pondered.
Tsunade scratched her head. "Really? What if we just don't know?"
Haruko pondered for a few seconds, then praised happily, "That makes sense! Tsunade, you're amazing!"
Hiruko: ...
——
Tsunade: "Bring me some more alcohol!" (Slams her hand on the table)
Haruko in the morning: "Honey, you can't drink anymore!" (Dissuading her)
Tsunade: "Look at you, so stingy! You're nothing compared to our team's Mimi, who's both beautiful and amazing!"
Haruko: "Xiao Mei?! Honey, you wouldn't be cheating on me with this Xiao Mei, would you?" (Incredulous)
Hiruko: "Is this really how it's arranged?" (Greatly shocked)
Orochimaru: "...How stupid."
Tsunade: "So what if I cheated?! It's all because of your nagging!" (Slams her hand on the table and stands up)
Haruko Hayama: "Darling, how could you do this to me!" (bites her handkerchief)
Tsunade: "Since you already know, let's get a divorce!"
Haruko Hayama: "No! Darling, you have to think about our child!"
Hiruko: "Dad, Mom..." (On the verge of crying but not crying)
Orochimaru: "...Die, all of you."
Jiraiya: "Awoo awoo~" (improvised accompaniment)
Tsunade: "Children? I don't care about children!" (She storms off)
Haruko Hayama: "Waaaaah, you little devils, Mommy only has you two left!" (Hugs the two of them)
Hiruko: "Mom, I won't leave you!" (He's already in character)
Orochimaru: "Go to hell."
Tsunade: "Since you've made up your mind, hurry up and pack your things and leave!" (Throws the package in front of her)
Haruko Hayama: "How could you be so heartless! I had to beg and plead with relatives to buy this house!"
Tsunade: "So what? I say it's mine, so it's mine! If you keep arguing, I'll kick you all out!" (gestures with her fist)
Hiruko: "Don't hit Mom!" (Stands in front of her)
Orochimaru: "If you dare hit me again, you're dead." (Grim face)
Haruko: "Oh no! You're not allowed to hurt the children!" (Erkang gestures)
Tsunade: "If you don't want to get beaten up, get out of here!"
Haruko Hayama: "We can leave, but I want custody of the dog!" (Resilient)
Tsunade: "Why? That's the big white hedgehog I bought for ten yuan... no, the big white dog!"
******
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