Chapter 1 Chapter 1
At three o'clock in the morning, the air is still hot
The air conditioner in the room was running tirelessly, and the temperature in the room was already a bit cool, but it was the most suitable temperature for the German Shepherd with thick fur. It changed itself into a more comfortable position.
The person lying on the bed, on the contrary, had his brows furrowed and cold sweat constantly oozing from his forehead.
"Bang!" Someone violently flipped the bedside light switch. The high-wattage light illuminated the entire room, revealing everything inside. The room wasn't small, but it was packed with things, and because it wasn't properly organized, it looked crowded and messy. Especially since there was a rather large German Shepherd lying next to the bed.
The German Shepherd, awakened by the sound, stood up quickly, and looked alertly with its black eyes at its owner who had already sat up on the bed.
Under the cold, white light, his face was as pale as a sheet of paper. Having just woken up, his eyes were bloodshot, but without any trace of sleepiness, his gaze was clear and calm.
The loose white short-sleeve clung to his body, becoming transparent at the back. Sweat from his forehead trickled into his eyes, causing a stinging sensation. Bai He blinked uncomfortably, his eyes watering. Then he hunched over, roughly grasping the hem of his short-sleeve, and rubbed it forcefully across his forehead and eyes. The dripping sweat was wiped away, but the sticky feeling still clung to him.
He lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes and eyebrows. In the quiet room late at night, the only sound was his heavy breathing.
For the past few days, whenever he closed his eyes, he'd dream, his dreams fragmented and unstructured. Upon waking, all that remained was the despair and terror etched deep into his bones. This time, he finally saw the entire scene. The prosperous city had become devastated and silent, countless buildings reduced to ruins, every door closed, a lifeless scene. Only a few people roamed the wide streets, all of them emaciated and deformed.
My heart was beating incredibly fast from lack of sleep, and my brain felt like someone was hammering at it. My body was aching, and my mind was irritated too.
After calming down a little, Bai He considered going to the hospital.
Thinking of that place, his brain began to twitch again. He tugged at his collar in annoyance, then got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. As he got out of bed, he patted the dog's head soothingly.
Turning on the shower, hot water gushed out of it, quickly burning his skin red. Usually, Bai He felt very refreshed when taking a shower with this kind of hot water, and he seemed to have lost several pounds. But now the heat of the water was like a catalyst, causing the pain in his head to boil. At this moment, his brain seemed to be soaked in boiling water, and countless things were forced into his brain, causing his most sensitive nerves and flesh to tremble and tear. Bai He considered himself a patient person, but now he couldn't help but bang his head against the wall. For a moment, Bai He suspected that his head would explode with a "bang" like a ripe watermelon, and red blood would splatter all over the room.
I don’t know how long it took, but Bai He, who was tortured by the pain and was in a daze, felt a white light flash in his head.
Freed
The inhuman pain faded from his mind like a tide. Bai He's curled up body relaxed, and he lay powerlessly on the ground, gasping for air.
The brain seemed to have been reorganized, and the originally fixed brain capacity was forcibly expanded by a large amount of things.
When he opened his eyes, there was a hint of strangeness in his scarlet eyes. Bai He stood up with the help of the bathroom counter. When his hand touched the cup on the counter, the cup disappeared out of thin air.
After this inhuman pain, a space appeared out of nowhere in his mind.
Bai He closed his eyes and used all his consciousness to explore the space that suddenly appeared.
The space is not big, just four acres of black soil, and there is a small spring. Next to the spring is the only life in the space, a two-meter-tall tree with sparse leaves. The overall environment is quiet and remote.
…
…
“Wontons, dumplings, pancakes…”
Mornings are one of Qingcheng's busiest times. Between 7 and 8 a.m., the sun is high in the sky, and the air warms again. The streets are dotted with office workers, briefcases under their tethers, in high heels, hurrying by, parents walking their children to school, and grandparents exercising in their training uniforms. The aroma of food and the bustling sounds of people create a vibrant and lively atmosphere.
Bai He paused at the entrance of Qing City First Hospital for a moment, then walked into the outpatient building. The moment he walked in, he was hit by a chill, as if he had entered another world.
The hospital is the place with the least shortage of people, but unlike the bustling outside world, the atmosphere here is depressing and heavy. There are no smiles or satisfaction with life among the people coming and going. Instead, there is fear, terror and tense expectations.
Amidst the throng of people, Bai He pulled a mask from his pocket and put it on, then lowered the brim of his hat. He avoided the crowded elevator and walked up the stairs to the tenth floor, where the psychiatric department was located.
At this time, many patients had already come to the psychiatric outpatient clinic, the oldest was in his seventies, and the youngest was only a few years old.
Bai He found a corner and squatted down waiting for the nurse to call his number.
In front of him was a young girl, with her body hunched and her eyes fixed on the direction of the outpatient clinic entrance. Every time the nurse called a name, her body would tense up and the clothes in her hands would be crumpled into a mess.
The waiting time in the hospital was long and agonizing. She looked around and finally walked to Bai He, who looked about the same age as her and also came to the psychiatric department alone.
"Are you here alone too?" The girl greeted Bai He with a stiff smile on her face.
Bai He didn't say anything.
The girl didn't care. Perhaps she felt more at ease when Bai He ignored her. "I was supposed to go to class today, but I ran out of medicine. I had no choice but to take time off and come to the hospital."
"What's wrong with you? I have bipolar disorder. It's so hard when I'm having an attack. One moment I'm ecstatic, the next I'm terribly sad."
She squatted by the wall like Bai He, with delicate features and a quiet look. If it weren't for coming to this place, no one would have known that she was mentally ill.
"Even though I'm in such pain, I still have to pretend to be normal. I come to the hospital in a secretive manner. Sigh..."
The girl's eyes were hollow. She buried her head in her knees, her voice getting lower and lower. "My parents said it's okay, so I don't need to come to the hospital or take medicine..."
…
Bai He, who had been silent the whole time, said the first sentence, "You don't know whether you need to take medicine or not."
Many people often perceive mental illness as someone who is not in their right mind, shouting and yelling in the street, even stripping off their clothes and unconsciously hurting others. However, most patients can maintain basic cognition and return to normal life with medication.
Yet, most patients' families, and even the patients themselves, harbor a strong sense of stigma. They're all just sick; if someone has uremia or even cancer, others simply feel pity and sadness. But when it comes to mental illness, most people's first reaction is to distance themselves and criticize them.
Public prejudice also makes many patients and their families ashamed to discuss their illnesses, forcing them to seek medical treatment in secrecy. Many patients, upon feeling even slightly better, stop taking their medication and leave the hospital on their own, fearing their condition would become public knowledge. As a veteran psychiatrist, Bai He has seen numerous patients, driven to repeated relapses by themselves and their families, ultimately becoming a true public image of mental illness. Therefore, no matter how much he dislikes hospitals, Bai He will always attend regular follow-up appointments.
Bai He had already made an appointment on his phone, so the nurse called him quickly.
The doctor who was seeing the patient was quite old and had rich clinical experience. He was communicating with Bai He while flipping through the case that Bai He gave him.
"Schizophrenia patients have auditory hallucinations and delusions, but the symptoms have stabilized after taking medication and they can lead a normal life."
"how are things?"
"I haven't been sleeping well lately. I have all kinds of strange dreams at night, and I can't fall asleep again after being awakened. I also feel like something has grown in my brain..."
After hearing Bai He's last words, the doctor, who had been keeping his head down, became serious. He then said in a slow tone, "What does it feel like..."
…
"Let's check it out first."
After a brief exchange of ideas, the doctor printed out the medical checkup form and reminded the nurse to call the next patient. The entire process took less than fifteen minutes, and Bai He silently walked out with his medical card.
Going to the psychiatric department of a hospital is no different from going to a general department of the hospital. The doctor will not chat with you in detail like the psychologist in a psychological clinic to relieve your psychological stress.
The incidence of mental illness has been rising rapidly in recent years, but there is often a shortage of psychiatrists, and the psychiatric departments of many hospitals are overloaded.
Every time Bai He comes to the hospital for a checkup, he feels like he's just going through the motions, but it doesn't matter. He just wants peace of mind.
Qingdao First Hospital is a famous large hospital in China. The outpatient building is tall and spacious with well-connected passages. People who are not familiar with it often get lost while walking around.
Fortunately, Bai He had downloaded the hospital map before coming to the hospital. He followed the map to the emergency room.
This is fucked!
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