Chapter 78078 Memoirs (I)
Memories flooded back, a chaotic mess, and I passed out in a trance. Before I lost consciousness, I thought I heard the crisp sound of something shattering.
Maybe the illusion is shattered.
The bumpy ride was incredibly uncomfortable. I leaned against the window, my head aching from the vibrations. The bus rocked all the way, making it nearly impossible to sleep. I closed my eyes, shutting out the outside noise. This outing was something I had been looking forward to, and the teacher hadn't specifically urged us to be quiet. Thankfully, the students were conscientious about not disturbing others, and their conversations were kept to a minimum—but even so, when trying to fall asleep, even the smallest sounds were amplified.
I'm on the second bus. This isn't the dream I had before, it's more like a memory.
After recovering my remnant soul, all my past memories came back all at once. Whether it was death or reincarnation, the painful or the pleasant ones, they were all stored in my mind, waiting for me to open them and sort them out.
The bus was the beginning of everything. If it weren't for my death, how could anything have happened afterwards?
Watching myself die is ultimately difficult. I want to close my eyes, but I can't tear my gaze away from myself. This life is too short, and I've accomplished nothing. A mere mediocre life is far from my reach. Indeed, a healthy, unaffected person, with healthy parents and an ordinary life, is truly precious.
I turned my head to look at my reflection in the window, and it seemed a little strange. How long has it been since I took a good look at my own face?
She also looked at me, her brows slightly furrowed, as if she had noticed my presence, and a look of disbelief flashed in her eyes. However, all that look soon vanished in a scream.
The soul is very heavy, heavy enough to carry a person's life memories, but it is also very light and can easily float out of the body.
A class of students met with an accident and none of them survived. The huge disaster was presented to the world in an almost absurdly calm manner.
The news report, calm and restrained, summarized the sudden loss of dozens of lives in just a few words. The news was published in a small corner of the newspaper, the black and white type heavy and distant. To the world at large, it was just a regrettable traffic accident. But for some, their entire world collapsed in that moment.
A makeshift memorial was set up at the school gate. White chrysanthemums formed a small hill, interspersed with stuffed toys, inscribed cards, and uneaten snacks brought by classmates. Candles flickered in the wind, their wax dripping like winding tear marks, solidifying. On the photo wall, youthful, smiling faces were frozen in time, now reduced to black and white portraits. The air was filled with sadness and helplessness, and soft sobs rose and fell like the tide. The once bustling campus was now shrouded in a speechless silence.
My funeral was held in a gloomy atmosphere. Overcast skies and funerals seem to have become a stereotype.
My mother arrived. She seemed to have been drained of all moisture and color in an instant, leaving only a withered shell, moving by instinct. Yet, she was clearly 42 years old. She was supported, barely able to stand unaided. The hand that once gently stroked my hair now trembled violently as it reached futilely toward the cold coffin. She didn't wail, but instead stared open her hollow, completely devoid of focus. Tears streamed silently and relentlessly, streaming down her rapidly emaciated face, hitting the ground and my empty soul, bringing a searing pain.
"Ayu...she's still so young...my Ayu is afraid of the dark..."
She repeatedly murmured these broken words, each breath seeming to use up all the strength in her body. Someone tried to persuade her to leave, but she suddenly burst out with an amazing strength, clinging to the edge of the coffin, her nails scratching the paint, making a harsh sound.
It wasn't just a mother saying goodbye to her daughter; it was a soul being torn apart. Finally, she was pulled away, collapsing in the arms of her family and friends, trembling like a leaf in the autumn wind. I crouched before her, tears streaming down my face, calling out over and over, "Mom, I'm here!" But my embrace could only pass through her body, bringing no warmth, and my voice couldn't penetrate the barrier between life and death.
Then, I saw Ayou.
She stood at the edge of the crowd, wearing a black dress that was obviously ill-fitting, which made her look particularly thin and frail. I had never seen her wear black before, and she said it was too dull and did not suit her youthful and beautiful appearance.
She lowered her head, her long hair obscuring her expression. Her hands were clenched into fists, her knuckles white and trembling slightly. Unlike the students around her who were hugging and crying, she was silent as a stone statue, a terrifying sense of oppression enveloping her.
As the ceremony drew to a close, the crowd began to slowly move. She finally raised her head. Step by step, extremely slowly, she approached the coffin, ignoring everything around her.
She stretched out her hand, and her fingertips touched the cold wood very gently and tremblingly, as if she was touching my cheek that had long lost its temperature.
"Ayu..."
"Ayu..."
Her voice was so soft, so soft that it melted into the wind.
She didn't cry, but just accepted it all in silence.
After the funeral, people began to disperse.
Ah You helped her mother leave. I looked at them and finally gave up.
My soul is fading...
What does it feel like to be spiritually dead?
I felt light and airy, yet my consciousness remained. So I couldn't help but ponder the philosophical propositions surrounding consciousness. Unfortunately, I overestimated myself a bit. The more I thought about it, the more unfamiliar it felt, even a little frightening.
When I woke up again, I found myself in a pond, which should be a pond.
The revolving lantern of life finally arrived in a strange world. I became a carp. Strange, isn't it? I find it strange too, that a person could be reincarnated as a carp after death. I didn't even drink Meng Po soup!
Forget it, being able to be reborn after death is already good enough. If I get eaten by someone accidentally, maybe I can be reborn again.
Anyway, I'm very relaxed about it.
After becoming a carp, I loved hiding under lotus leaves to escape the scorching sun. But I didn't do it often, because the kid in the family would deliberately push the leaves aside, preventing me from enjoying the shade. I'd glare at him and swim deeper into the pond. But sometimes he was even more ruthless, breaking off the lotus leaves and scooping me up to watch me struggle within them.
What a bad kid.
I heard from the servants of this family that the child is the third son of the family. He has two older brothers who are often away from home fighting. We often hear that they have conquered some tribe or other. Anyway, he seems to be very powerful.
Fishing is boring, and only gossip can ease my boredom. I often listen to the servants gossip in the lotus pond. No one cares about a fish, so they can talk freely, of course, just about trivial matters. But it is precisely because of this that I still feel unsatisfied.
But one day, my leisurely life as a fisherman came to an end. For some reason, the third young master fished me out of the pond and put me in a tank.
So small.
It's the same from a big villa to a thatched hut.
I was not very happy about it, but the Third Young Master didn't care. He carried the jar back to his yard with great enthusiasm.
He also said to me: "Little carp, this is your home from now on!"
I thought he did it on purpose, so I ignored him.
He didn't care whether I paid him any attention or not, he just kept me company. From time to time he would bring me some new things. Sometimes it was a few particularly round rain flower stones that sank to the bottom of the tank, and I would pick them up with my mouth.
Sometimes it was a handful of water plants that were said to have "psychic powers," although I didn't feel any difference.
The most outrageous time was when he got some elixir from somewhere, saying it would help with cultivation, and stuffed it into my mouth without any explanation. I almost fainted from the overabundance of spiritual energy, and the whole fish floated on the water with its white belly turned upside down for a long time. He hurriedly fished it out, placed it in his palm, and carefully stroked it with his fingertips for a long time before I recovered.
"You're too weak," he said with disdain, but there was a hint of fear in his eyes, "It seems you need to take good care of yourself."
Please don't raise it, the more you raise it, the more likely it will die.
I stared with dead fish eyes and thought.
But I have to say, the elixir is still useful. Look, I feel full of energy.
Few people actually visited the Third Young Master's courtyard. Besides cleaning, they brought him food, even though the food didn't look very good. Therefore, when he wasn't around, I spent most of my time staring blankly at the sky. Sometimes it felt like the sky hadn't changed much, either in the past or in the future. It was just that over time, the memories of my mother and Ah You gradually faded.
"Hey, little stupid fish, why are you so dazed again?" He seemed extremely dissatisfied with my dazed look. He increased the pressure of his fingers and poked me, causing me to somersault in the water. "Wait until I get a few more elixirs from Master and I'll give you some brains!"
I:……
The Third Young Master didn't seem to be very popular. He seemed to truly regard me as his sole audience. In this vast courtyard, aside from the servants who occasionally came and went, he was the only one there. His two elder brothers were away all year, his father, General Li Jing, was busy with his duties, and his mother, Madam Yin, though loving, was rarely around. So, this little jar of mine became his secret nook where he could store his emotions.
He has no friends?!
He started talking to me more.
What? I killed a few more monsters today. He gestured proudly, making the action of beating monsters. I was so scared that I quickly shrank to the bottom of the tank, afraid that he would accidentally hit me!
Or he'd complain to me about today's class. "Astronomy, math, rituals... it's so boring! I'd rather go kill some shrimp soldiers and crab generals!" He'd lie on the edge of the tank, mumbling, his breath rippling the surface of the water.
I can tell he's a naughty kid who doesn't like going to class. Well, I don't like going to class either.
Or maybe you tell me about the East China Sea. There is an old Dragon King in the East China Sea who has the power to control the clouds and rain, but he specifically harms the people living along the coast.
Today, he's talking to my little aquarium about the East China Sea again. His fingers tapped unconsciously on the aquarium wall, sending ripples across the surface, reflecting his furrowed brow.
I gradually realized that the Third Young Master had grown up and was no longer the little kid with a pigtail.
"That old loach from the East China Sea," he suddenly cursed in a low voice, his voice filled with anger that didn't match his age, "he's really getting more and more rampant!"
I swung my tail fin and turned in the small space to show that I was listening. He glanced at me and continued:
"Three animals went down, and there was only a little rain..." He slammed the edge of the tank, frightening me so much that I shrank underwater. "It's obvious he wants to eat people!"
His words were fragmentary and furious, and the vague rumors his servants often whispered about were now crystallized one by one. A fishing village was swallowed by raging waves due to insufficient tribute. Eerie music could be heard at night coming from the Dragon Palace. Brave fishermen had seen the shredded remains of a small boat floating on the phosphorescent sea...
As I listened, the azure ocean, a vast expanse I had never seen before, gradually turned a terrifying crimson as he spoke in anger. A sense of panic gradually filled my heart.
Help! What kind of world am I in?
The Third Young Master grew angrier as he spoke, his chest heaving violently. "If I were to encounter him, I'd definitely pull out his tendons and see how he could stir up trouble again!"
cramp……
This word was like a bolt of lightning, suddenly splitting my chaotic brain.
The old loach in the East China Sea, the young boy and girl, praying for rain, cramps... these descriptions were pieced together one by one...
The clear water in the tank swayed slightly, reflecting his stubborn and angry brows, and the fire in his eyes almost burned out.
I looked at the clear reflection in the water, and an absurd yet extremely certain thought surfaced, exploding to the point that my scales almost stood up.
Oh, I see.
He is Nezha.
…
I actually accepted it so calmly, after all, it seemed like nothing had changed.
Anyway, I still listen to his complaints every day.
Sometimes he would stare towards the East China Sea for a long time without saying a word, then suddenly turn to me and say, "Hey, little fish, if I really go to overturn the Dragon Palace, don't be too scared."
I flicked my tail gently in the water and swam around his reflection.
No, I thought. I've already died once and turned into a fish. What else in the world can scare me?
I'm just... a little worried about him.
I knew his destiny, that earth-shattering conflict was inevitable. He was destined to cause trouble at sea, and I was merely a tiny drop in the torrent, an unknown episode in the beginning of his legend.
——
The rain in Chentangguan is getting less and less.
The sky was like a piece of scorched iron plate, tightly fastened above the pass, and was stingy with any trace of moisture.
The wind was hot, carrying dust and a restless air. I heard the servants who came to clean say that the water levels in the mansion's wells were decreasing inch by inch, and the amount of water drawn out each day was getting smaller and smaller.
In fact, the water level in my tank has also fallen irreversibly, leaving only a pitiful one-third of its capacity. Dark circles of water mark the inside of the tank wall, marking the previous water level. The water temperature is always too high, and it often makes me feel dizzy. I can only float weakly to the surface, flapping my gills, and sucking in the thin air.
I didn't know and thought there was an extra sun in the sky.
But strangely, I wasn't dying like other fish. On the contrary, despite the shrinking water volume, I was still alive and kicking, and I even felt a kind of inexplicable energy secretly growing in the dry predicament.
Occasionally, a subtle, almost itchy, tingle emanated from my skin, as if something was stirring beneath. I thought of the elixirs Nezha had stuffed in my mouth, how he'd complained about my "weak body" and how he'd promised to "grow my brains."
Could it be that it was because of those elixirs?
The water in the tank dwindled, leaving only the bottom, just enough to moisten my scales. The itching on the part of my skin exposed to the air became more pronounced, even taking on a slight burning sensation.
That day, Nezha came to the tank again. His brow furrowed even more deeply, no longer simply outraged by Dong Hai's evil deeds, but also filled with anxiety about the situation at hand. He looked at the nearly empty tank and me, then reached out and poked me on the back.
"You stupid fish, the water is almost gone, why are you more energetic?" The water in the well is limited, so it is normal to give it to people first.
His fingertips touched my burning skin, and I shuddered violently. A strange current of heat exploded from the point of contact, instantly sweeping through my body. It was no longer a superficial energy, but some substantial, surging force that rushed frantically, as if seeking a breakthrough.
Severe pain followed.
It felt as if every scale was being forcibly peeled away, every bone shattering and reassembling. My consciousness drifted in the scorching heat, and I nearly fainted again. Through my blurred vision, I saw Nezha withdraw his hand in surprise and peer into the tank.
The little water left in the vat began to boil inexplicably, gurgling and emitting a thick white mist that completely enveloped me. This mist wasn't steam, but rather carried a refreshing, spiritual aura. In intense agony, I felt my body stretched and twisted. After the pain of a fish's tail being torn apart, the beginnings of something strange yet familiar took shape with difficulty.
The mist was so thick that it even obscured Nezha's figure and his doubtful eyes.
The pain gradually faded, replaced by a light feeling. I struggled to lift my "hand." It was no longer a fin, but a slender limb with distinct fingers. I lowered my head, and what I saw was no longer a fish body, but smooth, human skin covering a slender waist and legs...
I can't believe it.
The white steam gradually dissipated.
I curled up at the bottom of the tank, soaking wet, my black hair sticking to my forehead and neck, panting heavily. The tank was too small, so I could only curl up and look up at the boy standing there in a daze.
He was completely stunned, his eyes, which always burned with fire or impatience, now filled with pure, undisguised shock. He looked at me, then at the bottom of the nearly dry tank, as if he couldn't understand how a fish could turn into... a young girl right before his eyes.
The air was frozen for a long moment. The distant cries of the people praying for rain but receiving no response made the silence in the courtyard even more eerie.
Finally, he seemed to have found his voice again, and he spoke hesitantly with an unbelievable tone:
"...Little stupid fish?"
I lowered my head and ignored him.
Then an outer robe was put down.
The robe, which carried his body temperature and a faint scent of soapberry, fell down on me, wrapping me up completely and temporarily blocking out his overly shocked gaze that almost burned a hole in my new skin.
I subconsciously clutched the rough fabric and huddled at the bottom of the tank, feeling lost in the cramped space. My human limbs felt strange yet familiar, trembling slightly, and my skin, exposed to the air, sent shivers down my spine.
The air was dead silent, with only the sounds of my slightly rapid breathing, which I couldn't suppress, and the faint and clearer pleas of the people praying for rain in the distance.
Nezha seemed to finally snap out of his petrified state. He took a sudden step back, as if burned by something. The shock in his eyes slowly faded, replaced by a barely perceptible panic that he forcibly suppressed.
He cleared his throat, trying to regain his usual nonchalant tone, but the voice that came out was half a degree higher than usual, with a strange inflection:
"You...are you really my stupid little fish?"
I:……
What's yours?!
I looked up at him, my wet hair sticking to my cheeks, and peered at him through the gap in the fabric. His ears seemed a little red, whether from anger or something else.
I opened my mouth, but only a dry and hoarse sound came out of my throat, as if I had not yet adapted to the language function of this body.
My silence and this disheveled, vulnerable appearance seemed to make him even more uncomfortable. He frowned, his eyes darting back and forth between me and the nearly empty water tank. Finally, as if he had made up his mind, a bit of that familiar, reckless spirit returned.
He chuckled a few times, and then a smug tone sounded: "It seems that my elixir is still very useful! Look, it's only been a few days and you've transformed into a human form?"
He took a step forward and didn't retreat. Instead, with a strong curiosity, he bent down and came close to observe me, almost nose to nose. His amazingly bright eyes reflected my confused face at the moment.
"Hey," he poked my forehead with his finger, not too hard, "speak up. I raised you for so long and fed you so many good things, not to raise a mute."
His fingertips carried the unique warmth of youth, and a subtle sensation spread across the area they touched. I avoided his fingertips uncomfortably, finally managing to regain my voice and hoarsely uttering a few words:
"Ah...Yu."
The voice was faint, but it echoed clearly between the two of them. It had been a long time since they had spoken, and their voice system seemed to have degraded.
Nezha froze for a moment, as if realizing I was still curled up naked at the bottom of the slightly damp jar, shivering wrapped in his outer robe. He straightened up suddenly, a flash of embarrassment flashing across his face, his eyes drifting to the side, and his tone became even more urgent:
"Trouble, it's really a huge trouble."
Having said that, he just raised his hand, and the Hun Tian Ling rolled up flexibly as if it had life, gently but firmly wrapping me and the outer robe, and then he exerted a little force.
I screamed, and then I was lifted out of the water tank by a gentle force and landed gently on the ground.
My feet landed on solid ground, and a strange feeling washed over me. It had been so long since I'd stood on my own two legs, and my toes gripped the ground unnaturally. I stumbled, nearly collapsing, but the Hun Tian Ling tightened just in time, providing support.
Nezha stood a step away, his arms folded, looking at me, his brows still furrowed, as if he were examining something more difficult than expected. He glanced at me and suddenly snorted:
"The human form is okay, but it's very fragile. It's not as resistant as when it was a fish."
He walked around me for a while, and the boy's spoiled curiosity completely overwhelmed his initial shock and helplessness.
"Tell me, why did it suddenly change its human form? Could it really be my master's elixir? But the cranes in Qianyuan Mountain also eat a lot of elixirs, so why don't they change their human forms?" He stopped in front of me, raised his chin slightly, and looked like "You'd better tell the truth."
I looked at him, and he was just annoying. Why hadn't I noticed that before? I wasn't entirely sure what he was asking me. A thousand thoughts weighed heavily on my chest: about my death, about my time travel, about why I became a carp, and even why I was taking shape at this very moment... It was all so absurd and bizarre, I couldn't begin to explain. Should I say I'm from the future? That I know everything about you? I'm afraid I'll be killed the moment I open my mouth!
In the end, I just met his inquiring gaze, shook my head gently, and said in a low voice that was still hoarse:
"Maybe I'm... smart."
Nezha: ...
He looked unconvinced by this answer. The inquiry in his eyes remained undimmed, but he didn't press the issue. He simply studied me for a moment before suddenly breaking into a grin that carried his characteristic fearless swagger, yet also a subtle thoughtfulness.
"Forget it. No matter who you are, you're mine now!" He waved his hand and made a decision. "From now on, you'll just follow me. I just happen to be in need of someone to serve tea and water."
Seeing that I was still standing there at a loss, he urged, "What are you still standing there for? Do you want to go back to the tank? Come on, let me find you some decent clothes first. How can you face people like this?"
Having said that, he no longer paid any attention to me, turned around and walked into the house. With a light pull of the Hun Tian Ling, I couldn't help but follow his footsteps.
"Wait, wait...slow down!"
My legs are a little out of control!
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