Night.86 (3700+)
How do you fall in love with a city?
This question is easy because here we have the work and life you like, the climate and temperature you like, the food and vitality you like, and the people you like?
So how do you lose hope in a city?
Because you were hurt here.
It may be a trivial injury, the smelly subway during rush hour, the endless rainy days, the boyfriend of three years cheating on me, returning home to a cold and dark room, and eating three meals a day at convenience stores and food delivery apps.
Maybe it's an unavoidable injury. You gradually can't keep up with the pace of the city and are left behind by the high-speed life, or you lose some people here.
Ruan Mei was just afraid that Zhong Mang’s departure would make Chen Shanye lose hope in this city.
What does it matter if there are dazzling and prosperous skyscrapers? Chen Shanye’s heart has always been filled with the moon and stars at home. The exotic food that requires queuing for two or three hours to eat is far inferior to a bowl of rice noodles ordered by Chen Hechuan.
Before he could develop a sense of belonging to this city, his wings that were trying to fly were already injured.
No matter how high or far the migratory birds fly, they will eventually return home to their families.
On the day of Zhong Mang's burial, she left the banquet and slept for a while in the next room. When she woke up, she found that there was no movement in the yard and the villagers had all dispersed.
As soon as she walked into the yard, she saw Chen Shanye and his father standing side by side under the old tree. The dry wind blew up the corners of their clothes and brought their conversation to her ears.
She fled back to her room, her back resting against the mottled and faded wooden door, her head lowered and breathing rapidly.
The light penetrated her back like a blade through the tiny gap in the wooden door, and the dust in the room floated up and down in the bright light. She had actually noticed Chen Shanye's thoughts before, and was not overly surprised, but when she knew it, her heart still ached.
The blood-soaked towel was twisted violently, and blood was dripping all over the floor.
Ruan Mei thought seriously about how she would answer if Chen Shanye asked her if she wanted to go with him.
Although she is engaged in e-commerce, physical stores are now also a very important part of her work. Meeting different customers every day, listening to their stories, and solving their problems in bed are things she enjoys.
Even if she gave up her physical body and followed Chen Shanye back to the county town to start over, she couldn't just leave.
Ruan Mei felt that Chen Shanye actually didn't want her to give up everything and go with him.
So during this period after returning from Yunnan, Chen Shanye did not mention this matter. However, often when the two of them were sleeping in each other's arms late at night, Chen Shanye would quietly get out of bed and walk out of the bedroom with a cigarette box. She lay in bed without moving until the door was closed, then she opened her eyes.
She asked Chen Shanye to teach her how to cook, and indulged in carnal desires with Chen Shanye, never mentioning separation. She would smoke as much as Chen Shanye smoked. The smoke and desire trapped the two of them in a small world, and they indulged in this final madness.
Chen Shanye has already taken on too much, and Ruan Mei doesn't want to become a burden to him as well.
Whether the burden is sweet or bitter.
"But I just want to ask you one thing, I'll wait for you, will you come back?" she asked crying.
The thick smoke that blocked his throat spewed out of his nasal cavity like dry ice, and it was so cold that Chen Shanye felt like he was about to get frostbite.
In the mist, he saw the eyelids, which were half soaked with tears, blinking and spitting out crystal clear and moist pearls like small shells. The pearls made of water rolled everywhere, and before he had time to collect them, they had shattered into a pool of wet ocean.
The girl he loved had a red nose and lips like cherries that were about to be bitten through the skin. The sweat after making love soaked the ends of her black satin hair. Her shoulders shrugged and trembled, and the two lumps of white flesh on her chest were jumping, just like the soft glutinous rice paste that had just been stirred in the pot.
Her little face was so ugly and wrinkled from crying, but she was so beautiful that he couldn't take his eyes off her.
Chen Shanye took the burning cigarette from Ruan Mei's hand, and without dealing with the ash that fell on his body, he put out both cigarettes in the ashtray.
His fingers, smelling of tobacco, touched the fragile water pearls, trying to catch the moon in the water, but the moon shattered into pieces as soon as he touched it, and flowed away from his fingers along with tears.
He sighed softly: "How can I leave with peace of mind when you are crying like this?"
"You don't know how much I want to be selfish and ask you not to leave..." Ruan Mei blurted out her true feelings and sobbed even harder.
Isn’t Chen Shanye the same?
He also thought about being selfish for once. He didn't care about the roses and slaves. As long as she followed him, he would kneel at her skirt for the rest of her life.
But such a person is neither Ruan Mei nor Chen Shanye.
He pulled the crying, red-cheeked girl closer and kissed the moonlight at the corner of her eyes: "Then be good and wait for me to come back."
"What if I'm not good?" Ruan Mei kissed him back, and his eyes became hot and red, and his nose twitched.
Chen Shanye leaned his forehead against hers, his straight black eyelashes hiding the watery light in his eyes, their noses touching, his white teeth still like the crescent moon hanging on the treetops.
"Then you're going to get into trouble."
*
In the remaining days, Chen Shanye quit his job in the fleet and completed all the hundreds of orders for mixed meat hats that he owed to customers during this period. Ruan Mei stopped accepting orders on her account and directed customers who wanted to buy mixed meat hats to Chen Shanye's WeChat account, saying that she would restart this business when Chen Shanye returned to the county and transitioned to a stable period.
On the last day, Chen Shanye packed his luggage, filled the refrigerator with food, left a few portions of meat hats, and made some extra cold shrimps for her to chill. When she wanted to eat them, she could just pour brown sugar water on them and sprinkle some osmanthus flowers on them.
That night, Ruan Mei happened to be on her menstrual period. They kissed and caressed each other until they were almost unconscious, but they couldn't take the last step.
Ruan Mei grabbed his hard penis and rubbed it randomly between her legs, leaving her hanging in the air. The delicate flesh on the inside of her thighs was almost rubbed raw, but she couldn't make the man ejaculate. In the end, Chen Shanye rubbed her breasts and made her ejaculate.
Ruan Mei was crying and making a fuss, saying something like next time she would hold it in her mouth all night while sleeping.
Chen Shanye helped her clean the semen off her body and replied with a smile, "Okay, okay."
But they didn't agree on when the next time would be.
In the busy high-speed rail waiting hall, Ruan Mei bought a ticket for the same train, but only to the first station, in order to see Chen Shanye off to the station.
Originally, Chen Shanye didn't want her to do this. He had been particularly fond of crying recently, and every time he saw her cry, his heart felt like it was about to burst.
In the past, when she cried, Chen Shanye could comfort her gently, hug her, kiss her, and then roll on the bed and fuck her until she had no strength to cry anymore. But he is leaving soon, who will comfort this spoiled girl?
Ruan Mei kept promising that she would control her emotions, and Chen Shanye couldn't persuade her, so he let her buy a train ticket.
The two people waiting for the bus sat next to each other and sang all the songs they had listened to together through their headphones.
In "Midnight Harbor", Guan Shuyi sang "You will disappear soon, disappear, and never come back", Ruan Mei said to herself, no way, you will come back.
In "Fox, Are You Happy Today?", Fiona Sit sang "Fox, am I the one you want?" and Ruan Mei nodded again.
Lin Yiwen from "Slave of the Rose" sang "But love is a strange thing, even happiness and pain are beautiful." Before Ruan Mei could say anything, Chen Shanye lifted her chin and kissed her, without caring whether there were other passengers waiting for the bus sitting opposite them.
Chen Shanye confessed to her in Cantonese with a strange tone. His low, mellow voice lingered in her ears, like a nimble conger eel, releasing the subtle electricity in his body that stung her and made her numb.
Chen Shanye only brought one suitcase with him. Some of the things he couldn't take with him were placed at Ruan Mei's residence, and some were placed in the store's storage room.
He pulled the suitcase in one hand and held the girl's hand in the other, walking towards the second-class carriage where his seat was.
Ten minutes before the train was due to leave, Chen Shanye put his suitcase away and walked back to the platform. There were three or four men around him smoking cigarettes, fighting for their last bit of freedom.
"You don't smoke?" Chen Shanye asked.
Ruan Mei shook her head: "I won't smoke today."
Chen Shanye pulled her aside and repeatedly warned her, "If that Huang guy comes to harass you again, just call the police, okay?"
"I know." Ruan Mei raised her hand and smoothed the slightly wrinkled fabric on his chest: "You must tell me the first time after the court's verdict."
"Okay, when you're home alone, be careful with the water and electricity, smoke less, and eat when it's time to eat. Don't skip meals."
Bitterness began to surge in her head, and Ruan Mei's voice began to change: "Well, you should also take care of your health..."
Chen Shanye held her face and kissed her, his heart beginning to ache again: "Baby, don't cry."
"I've decided..."
"What?"
"I won't pay you back the money, I'll just keep owing you!" Ruan Mei angrily wiped her tears on Chen Shanye's clothes and said, "I'll pay you back when you come back!"
"Okay, whatever you say."
Chen Shanye wished she would never pay him back, so that no matter how much things changed between them, there would still be that seemingly trivial IOU as a bond connecting the two of them.
The wind on the platform carried heat and the smell of tobacco, stirring up the air around them that was filled with sadness of parting. The wind grew slow, the figures around them became transparent, and the voice of the broadcast announcing that the train was about to depart and asking passengers to board as soon as possible became ethereal.
Chen Shanye kissed her lips inch by inch, his soft and warm breath penetrated into the gap between her lips, the affection in his chest was burned hot by a small fire, and a dense and slightly sour foam filled her throat.
The burst foam blocked the bridge of the nose and the space between the eyebrows, and there seemed to be a teasing whistle beside them, but the two people who were concentrating on kissing did not intend to pay attention to it.
Chen Shanye didn't let her go until the platform staff used a small loudspeaker to repeatedly urge the smoking passenger to get on the train quickly.
Ruan Mei held back her tears, hardened her heart, and bit his lower lip until it bled: "Chen Shanye, you can wait, but don't make me wait too long."
Chen Shanye licked away the rust and blood, and agreed in a hoarse voice: "I understand."
The white car door slowly closed with a beeping sound, one person was inside and one was outside.
The oval transparent glass frames a woman in shorts and a white shirt on the platform. Her long, straight black hair is blown by the wind behind her, like dark green willows dancing in the bright summer.
Chen Shanye lowered his head and took out his cell phone to call her. Seeing this, Ruan Mei also picked up her phone and waited.
The car started slowly and the phone rang. Ruan Mei realized that she still had the earphones in her right ear. After she answered the call, she smiled at the man in the car and said, "Hey, you took my earphones away."
Chen Shanye also noticed that the music had stopped at some point, causing him to ignore the earphone in his left ear and put it in the car.
As the train slowly accelerated, he turned sideways, his eyes still glued to the girl on the platform, but he could hardly see the expression on her face.
"Well, I took it away. I'll return it to you next time we meet."
Ruan Mei didn't ask him when the next time would be.
The Bluetooth disconnection sound soon came from the headset, indicating that the distance between them was too long.
The figure in sight became smaller and smaller, and soon nothing could be seen.
In an instant, Chen Shanye remembered the rear-end collision in the rain in May. When he could no longer see the white Fit in the rearview mirror, a sense of loss suddenly flooded his whole body.
This time, they parted ways again at the crisscrossing railway intersection.
After hanging up the phone, he stood at the car door for a long time before he lifted his lead-filled feet and went into the bathroom to wash his face.
With his hands propped up on the miniature wash basin, he looked at himself in the mirror.
Her black bangs were wet and tangled into clumps, her eyelashes and nose were covered with water droplets, and her lips still carried Ruan Mei's sweetness, but were also stained with the wet and hot smell of blood.
When he returned to his seat, the man sitting by the window next to him glanced at him. After he sat down, the man asked him curiously, "Dude, was that your girlfriend?"
The couple's appearance was too eye-catching, and they were kissing passionately on the platform, so it was hard not to notice.
Chen Shanye said "hmm", took off the lone Bluetooth headset, carefully put it in his backpack, took out his own headphones and prepared to listen to music and fall asleep.
The man asked again, "Why did she come into the station but not get on the bus? Did you break up?"
Chen Shanye wanted to respond to him with "None of your business", but he held back and only retorted: "We didn't break up."
He plugged in his headphones, turned sideways and closed his eyes.
We clearly haven't broken up, so why do I feel more heartbroken than if we had broken up?
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