Chapter 17 Obedience: He was simply responding to the world in his own way...
Ye Yuying had a very unhappy weekend because she needed a lot of time to adjust her mindset.
On Sunday afternoon, she sat on the edge of her bed in the attic. The sunlight couldn't penetrate the thick winter clouds, and the room was as dark as a closed piggy bank, with no one caring what those lifeless coins might be thinking and worrying about in the darkness.
She opened her Chinese textbook, and after flipping through a few pages, there was no further movement. The words crawled into her eyes like ants, but they couldn't get into her brain; the words instantly lost all meaning.
She stared at the book, but her mind was filled with images of that day in and out of the car, and during the fight.
When she recalled the words "I was wrong," it felt like a tooth had been dug out of her mouth—salty, painful, shameful, and not even hers.
She replayed the scene countless times, pondering the flaws in her resistance. She regretted not calling for help in time amidst the crowd, instead letting things spiral out of control.
Would passersby save him? They were so numb, only knowing to stare at their phones and the small patch of land beneath their feet.
They might think this is just childish play, a performance of heroism, unaware that children of this age can also feel death-like despair and pain.
The more she thought about it, the more upset she became, so she simply closed the book and went into the bathroom to wash her face.
The face in the mirror was pale, the eyes were dull, like a hollowed-out, dejected shell.
She found herself weak and powerless, unable to muster any strength for more than a week before surrendering in a fight.
She feared the pain, and even more so the throbbing sensation on her cheeks after being slapped, as if passersby could see the marks on her face—because she had been slapped.
What was even harder to accept than the swelling and pain was the inner turmoil at that moment, the feeling that her heart was about to explode, yet in the end she could only watch helplessly as she was torn apart—that was her dignity.
In that instant, Ye Yuying felt as if her soul had been torn apart. Rather than asking for help, she hoped that no one would witness her surrender.
She gave in, which meant that starting Monday, she would become one of the many in the class who wore obsequious masks, and she would obey Ge Jie and fawn over her like a lapdog.
Her campus life in Chengdu gave her a resounding slap in the face right from the start, letting her know that not all rebels will return victorious like the protagonists in TV dramas.
She was filled with fear about going to school next Monday. Since the start of the semester, she hadn't focused on her studies and seemed to have gotten used to the label of "bad student." Every time she tried to muster the energy to study, she felt powerless because she lacked so much.
This sense of powerlessness made her feel like someone who had fallen into the sea and was entangled in seaweed. No matter how much she struggled, she could only think one thing. She might as well just wait for death and suffer less.
Ye Yuying opened the drawer, took out her diary, and wrote a line:
I don't want to admit it, but it's the truth. I gave in because I was afraid.
At midnight, as usual, she went downstairs hungry and entered the small kitchen in the dead of night.
Even with Cheng Mingdu's permission, she still felt awkward reaching into the refrigerator to take out a rice ball.
She hesitated for a second before reaching in and taking out the two rice balls from the far corner.
She even thought that if Cheng Mingdu suddenly appeared, she definitely couldn't chew rice balls in front of him, because she always felt that hunger was a very unbearable thing.
But the kitchen was quiet, with only the wind sneaking through the slightly ajar window, making the sticky notes rustle.
No one came, and no one disturbed her.
Ye Yuying sat down on the familiar little stool, but before opening the packaging, she noticed an extra line of text on the rice ball: "Microwave on medium heat for one minute."
The handwriting was very beautiful, with clean strokes and no hesitation at the turns. It wasn't a deliberately practiced penmanship style, but rather a unique style with its own aesthetic appeal, sharp angles, but not stiffness.
She carefully peeled off the sticker with writing on it and put it in her pocket. Without following the instructions, she ate it directly with the cold rice ball.
Because she dared not touch any of the items here easily, and was also afraid of breaking the microwave oven, these were risks she could not afford.
The milk bottle rested on my lap; everything was the same as the previous few nights.
She ate very slowly, as if she were chewing on something she couldn't swallow.
The rice balls were delicious, even more fragrant than before. They had extra stir-fried chicken and egg shreds, along with scallions and chopped carrots. They were savory and delicious, and for some reason, they warmed my stomach, but my heart felt heavier.
For some reason, now that she had let her guard down, her eyes stung, and warm tears streamed down her face, landing directly at her feet and splashing onto the ground.
Tears fell drop by drop, and she wiped them with her sleeve, until the sleeve was soaked.
She didn't cry because she was moved by the rice ball, nor did she feel relieved because she was finally full.
She couldn't explain why.
All the things weighing on her heart that she couldn't say, couldn't resist, and couldn't escape, combined together, made her want to cry.
At two in the morning, after finishing her rice ball, she didn't go back to the attic. Instead, she washed the empty milk bottle and put it in the sink. Then she opened the drawer and took out the sticky notes that were in the corner of the kitchen.
She pulled out an identical sticker, her heart filled with mixed emotions, but in the end, she condensed them into just two words, which she carefully wrote on it: "Thank you."
As she gently affixed the sticker to the rice ball's packaging, she suddenly felt as if she had done something daring, as if she had disrupted the delicate balance between her and Cheng Mingdu.
I even considered tearing the sticker off, but in the end I mustered up the courage to leave it there.
Ye Yuying, don't be so cowardly that you're even embarrassed to say thank you.
*
On Monday morning, Ye Yuying put on her school uniform, carefully combed her hair, covered the wound completely with the uniform, and even stood in front of the mirror for three minutes.
She knew this day wouldn't be easy.
She had even mentally rehearsed what Ge Jie might ask her to do—hand her water, collect her homework, apologize to her group of friends, and say in a very low voice, "You're right"... She was prepared for all of this.
When she entered the classroom, everyone ignored her as usual.
Ge Jie sat in the front row, as dignified and proper as ever. Her group of girlfriends laughed and joked around her, as if the person who dragged her out of the car was not her, as if the attack had never happened.
Ye Yuying walked to her seat, put her schoolbag down, and then turned to look at Ge Jie.
That glance held no provocation, no hatred, only a calmness like a knife hidden at the bottom of the water, ready to surface at any moment.
Ge Jie noticed it, but didn't say anything, only curled the corners of her lips.
But when the bell rang for the end of get out of class, Ge Jie beckoned to her in a gentle but probing tone: "Ye Yuying, get me the tissues from my bag." She pointed to the seat next to her, in a commanding manner.
She walked over, head down, without saying a word.
But instead of reaching out, he gently circled the corner of the table and turned back to his seat.
The entire movement was extremely slow and light, yet it carried a certain stubbornness.
Ge Jie paused for a moment, and her group of girlfriends whispered "Hey," as if signaling that they were ready to watch the show.
“I was just talking to you,” Ge Jie’s face turned cold. “Didn’t you hear me?”
Ye Yuying's heart pounded wildly out of control at that moment, her throat trembled, but considering the reality that she was powerless to resist, she still did as she was told.
Ge Jie was testing her to see if she had truly been tamed.
She had initially thought the other students in the class would be surprised that they obeyed her so readily, but they seemed to take it for granted and thought it was all perfectly normal.
Because Ye Yuying was by no means the first to be tamed. As far as she could see, most people had walked the same path as her, and even paid a greater price to truly submit.
During class, Ge Jie was always restless and often passed notes.
Some people were afraid of being caught by the teacher and punished if they helped pass the message, but no one dared to refuse.
When the note was passed to Ye Yuying, she felt agitated. It read: "Give me the tissues from your bag."
Ge Jie has no shortage of tissues; she's just undergoing a compliance test.
However, the biology teacher caught them passing the tissues, and the unfortunate student was called on.
Almost immediately, without thinking, he pointed to Ye Yuying: "It was Ye Yuying who wanted to pass the note."
The biology teacher knew she was a new transfer student and immediately had a bad impression of her, so he made her stand at the back of the classroom as punishment.
She didn't say anything, but silently stood up and walked to the back of the classroom without making a sound, without offering a single word in her defense.
It's not that I don't want to, it's that it's useless.
There is no "truth" here—the weak are always the scapegoats, and this is not the first time, nor will it be the last.
When she stood in the back row of the classroom, she could feel everyone's gaze on her, some with schadenfreude, some with evasiveness, some with sympathy... but this kind of backtalk was commonplace.
Ge Jie, on the other hand, was quite satisfied with Ye Yuying's reaction, seemingly feeling that she was quick to grasp the situation.
After being punished by standing, she actually felt a sense of relief. She had already been disturbed by Ge Jie in class all day. Now that she was being punished by standing, in order to avoid being noticed, the note would never reach her and would instead be given to other unlucky people.
The world is finally peaceful.
After class, as Ge Jie passed by her, she casually remarked, "You're too slow. If you had passed it earlier, the teacher wouldn't have seen it. You deserve to be punished by standing."
Ye Yuying nodded.
Only after Ge Jie had walked away did she raise her eyes and stare expressionlessly at her smug back.
*
That night, she took two rice balls as usual.
When she opened the refrigerator, she found that the "thank you" sticker was missing, the rice ball had been replaced, and there was an extra portion of crème brûlée next to it, with a note that read: "[An extra portion, please eat it yourself.]"
She stood in front of the refrigerator door, light pouring out from inside and enveloping her in a white glow, as if a safe zone had been created between her and this cold world.
She stared at the note for a few seconds, then gently pursed her lips.
I took out the rice ball and crème brûlée together, and sat on the little stool as usual, without rushing to eat.
I put the sticker in my pocket first—I subconsciously wanted to keep such beautiful lettering.
The moment the lid of that small cup of crème brûlée was lifted, a faint vanilla aroma wafted out. She scooped out a small piece with a spoon and put it in her mouth—the sweetness was restrained, not cloying, and the creamy texture was smooth, like a silent comfort.
She began to think that perhaps he wasn't as distant as he seemed on the surface.
Perhaps, he was simply interacting with the world in his own way, and incidentally, he left a little space for her.
A breeze rustled through the window, causing the sycamore leaves to fall to the ground.
She suddenly wondered—how would Cheng Mingdu, at her age, deal with these troubles?
But then he thought, as long as he has this surname, none of this will ever happen to him.
That's why he was able to grow up to be so calm and easygoing, refined and elegant.
It made her envious.
-----------------------
Author's Note: 50 red envelopes! [Cat emoji]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
