Chapter 20: What are you doing while I'm spying on you?
Ye Yuying said, "We've all witnessed the consequences of resistance. You'll be isolated in the classroom, threatened after school. Remember that girl with the bun hairstyle from last time..."
She took a deep breath and said somewhat helplessly, "She didn't do anything wrong, she just got herself into trouble because she was wearing a nice pair of pants."
Recalling the scenes of fierce resistance during those days, which ultimately ended in failure and surrender, "I resisted twice in the past month, and my school uniform was torn twice. Although I was not slapped, I still have some marks on my body from being hit. They are not serious, but the most painful thing is that these days are going on day after day."
Lin Zhiyan seemed to be hearing such a real and straightforward narrative for the first time. This was very different from the junior high school students he knew, as if he had discovered that the outside world had developed to a level he could not imagine.
"So, are all the people who bring me things under her orders?" Lin Zhiyan's eyes were filled with doubt.
Ye Yuying nodded, a sense of powerlessness washing over her: "It's not just what you see; it's the same for all the members of our class."
For her, that place was no different from hell, but the world continued to run at a steady pace, undisturbed by any interruptions.
Lin Zhiyan listened quietly, a layer of coldness slowly settling between his brows.
It seemed to be the first time he truly realized that behind those seemingly peaceful school gates, there were actually such undercurrents.
This was a gap that was almost insurmountable between his imagined high school life and reality.
After a moment of silence, Lin Zhiyan looked down at her and suddenly asked, "So, are you going to continue like this?"
Ye Yuying paused for a moment, and then answered softly, "...Maybe it will be better after graduation, or when I can go back to my hometown."
She has a deep attachment to the word "hometown," but if, as Jiang Xinxue said, "you'd better go back after your dad gets out of prison," then both places would be hell.
"And before that?" Lin Zhiyan pressed, "Would you have continued to endure it?"
Ye Yuying pursed her lips, a hint of stubbornness welling up in her eyes: "I have my own way of resisting."
Lin Zhiyan raised an eyebrow: "How will you resist?"
Ye Yuying reached out and snatched the pink envelope from his hand, looking at him with a determined gaze.
"For example, not letting her have her way."
Lin Zhiyan said decisively, "Okay, I'll take care of it for you."
The next second, without hesitation, she tore the letter in half, then into four pieces, then eight pieces, until the fragments were so fine that they were almost impossible to piece together.
The sound of tearing paper was particularly clear and jarring in the slightly chilly evening breeze, crisp and sharp, carrying suppressed anger.
Then, she raised her hand and neatly threw the handful of fragments into the trash can not far away.
Lin Zhiyan watched quietly without intervening.
Instead, a faint smile appeared on her lips the moment she threw it away, as if it were a kind of approval.
At that moment, although she was only venting in a corner where Ge Jie couldn't see her, the sense of destruction she felt from the sea of letters gave her a feeling of surfacing for a brief breath of fresh air.
She suddenly felt that even a tiny crack in this cold, hard, and lonely world was enough to save her from numb obedience and remind her of the warmth of free blood flowing through her veins.
She didn't want to blindly resist, as it would be futile and only leave her battered and bruised.
Lin Zhiyan smiled, having witnessed the whole thing. "Is this your form of resistance?"
Destroy the love letters written by Ge Jie.
“Not cooperating with Ge Jie, not letting those who exert pressure succeed easily—how is that not resistance?” Ye Yuying retorted.
Lin Zhiyan thought about it carefully and nodded, "But even if I didn't tear it up, I wouldn't have let her have her way in the first place. I don't like her at all."
Lin Zhiyan continued, "Before my name appeared there, everything else was a distraction to me."
When he said this, his eyes were clear to the point of being cold, without the slightest wavering.
Ye Yuying was slightly taken aback. She saw that Lin Zhiyan's expression had become serious. The amused look in the young man's eyes had vanished, disappearing like smoke and becoming clear and pure, revealing a blatant ambition.
Following the direction he pointed, Ye Yuying saw the Zhiyuan Wall that she had passed by earlier.
The Zhiyuan Wall, covered with names, stands out prominently against the backdrop of night and lamplight, resembling some hidden and distant altar of honor.
Ye Yuying probably knew that the wall represented at least some kind of honor that everyone desired. She said, "But everyone says you're amazing, in every way..."
Upon hearing her words, Lin Zhiyan's lips curled slightly, his smile carrying a hint of indifference and self-mockery.
He wasn't proud of "everyone saying you're amazing," but rather showed a hint of disdain.
That's because they don't know what true 'power' is.
His voice wasn't loud, but it carried a sense of power.
She even had a somewhat vague understanding of what good grades meant, because as an ordinary student from Qingcheng and a bottom-ranked student at Laishan Middle School, she could hardly imagine how terrible Lin Zhiyan's grades were.
It is said that no one from Laishan Middle School has been admitted to Rongcheng No.1 High School for three whole years, which shows that there is a very high barrier between the two schools, like two worlds that will never intersect.
In that instant, she could see the light in Lin Zhiyan's eyes, a light that shone through his ambition—the kind of gaze that, once he had set his sights on a certain direction, would not be held back by any emotion or person.
Ye Yuying, whose future was bleak, felt ashamed of herself.
She lowered her head instinctively, feeling a little inferior.
In front of such a young man, she was like a small animal trapped in the mud, struggling weakly, living under someone else's roof and only seeking to survive, with no dreams to speak of.
But he is like the wind heading to distant places, destined to cross countless mountains and oceans.
He gazed at the somewhat faded names on the wall and said with some emotion, "Look at that wall, it's so old. Some people find it hard to change their names even after several years or decades. The birth of a genius is always heavily influenced by the times. Even if you reach the very bottom, the road is long and lonely, and you have to give up a lot."
Lin Zhiyan seemed to notice the change in her emotions. He tilted his head slightly, looked at her, and suddenly asked in a calm tone, "What's wrong with you—"
Ye Yuying was taken aback and looked up at him.
She shook her head: "It's nothing."
She didn't dare say it because she had no dreams, and that made her feel a little resentful.
Lin Zhiyan didn't explain further, but simply gathered the towel around his neck, as if adjusting his armor, lazy yet determined.
“So,” he said, his gaze falling on her, as if casually yet solemnly reminding her, “you too.”
"Don't let others hold you back."
Ye Yuying nodded, but she didn't quite understand. She still didn't know how to get out of her current situation.
He turned around, intending to leave, return to his own path, and continue his silent, unnoticed life.
But out of the corner of my eye, my gaze was still drawn to that Zhiyuan Wall.
The sun had completely set, and the sky was getting darker. One by one, the school's streetlights lit up, casting a dim yellow light on the bulletin board, making the signs engraved with names appear particularly solemn and dignified.
She stopped and slowly took a few steps closer.
Lin Zhiyan said that geniuses are timeless and cannot be replaced at any time. There is a huge gap between ordinary people and this list, and these outstanding people will have to give up a lot.
Several names were neatly listed above, and she looked up line by line, starting from the tenth name.
I'm curious about the names of these people who give up many things to focus on becoming excellent.
Next to each name is a list of their overall academic performance, awards, and information about their admission to various universities.
These names represent a certain degree of "success," a world she looks up to but can never reach.
Theoretically, the higher a person's ranking, the more they may have to give up.
Until she saw that name—
[First Place: Cheng Mingdu]
For a moment, Ye Yuying was stunned.
For a moment, the name seemed unfamiliar to her. Although she knew the pronunciation of Cheng Mingdu's name, she was unsure which "Ming" and which "Du" it was.
Is that how it's written?
Mingdu means to cultivate virtue and practice diligently, as in the "Great Yu's Counsel" chapter of the Book of Documents: "Virtue is bright, and practice is steadfast."
Is it derived from this meaning?
The person who, in that huge house, seemed aloof and detached, yet still left her a rice ball in the corner of the refrigerator.
The person who could see right through Jiang Xinxue's thoughts.
That person she always felt was as elusive and distant as the wind.
She was a little unsure; could there really be another person named Cheng Mingdu in Rongcheng?
Cheng Mingdu...
So this is what Cheng Mingdu is really like.
A gust of wind blew by, and Ye Yuying felt a distinct sense of weightlessness. She subconsciously hugged her arms tightly, her fingertips icy cold.
Suddenly, she felt an unusually strong sense of distance.
They were originally from different worlds, but their paths crossed briefly at a certain intersection.
His clear and lofty demeanor made her wonder what price Cheng Mingdu had paid to have his name appear here.
She, however, was trapped in the swamp, struggling more and more helplessly, as if she would be swept away and swallowed up by life at any moment, and even looking up seemed clumsy.
At that moment, she realized for the first time that the gap between people is greater than the gap between people and dogs.
She mechanically withdrew her gaze, took a soft breath, and turned to leave the Zhiyuan Wall.
Like a mole that has seen the outside world, it can't wait to go back to its home and curl up.
That night, back in her small room, Ye Yuying sat on the edge of the bed, took off her shoes, and stepped barefoot onto the cold floor.
Then, she looked down at her feet—
Those light gray slippers lay quietly by the bed.
She put on her slippers, remained silent for a while, then suddenly seemed to remember something. She grabbed the flashlight from the drawer and rushed out of the room, climbing the wooden ladder up the hallway to the attic.
Compared to the fear she felt when exploring the attic before, she now felt more of a subconscious curiosity, with an excitement of about to touch upon Cheng Mingdu's past.
The more mysterious and distant Cheng Mingdu was, the more her heart raced as she explored and unraveled the mystery.
The attic partition creaked open as she gently pushed it aside.
In the darkness, a musty smell of old wood and dust filled the air. Ye Yuying pressed the flashlight hard, and the weak beam of light flickered in the empty attic, illuminating a blurry outline.
In the corner, there were some old cardboard boxes piled up, like fragments of time that had been forgotten for many years.
She only dared to glance at it briefly with her flashlight, and didn't dare to touch anything inside.
Even with just that one glance, though she couldn't see anything specific, her heart was already pounding with anxiety.
She quickly lowered the barrier and took deep breaths to calm herself.
Looking up, I saw that familiar figure had already gone upstairs.
The moment their eyes met, she sensed a suffocating feeling.
The most absurd and ridiculous situation in life could not be more so than this: she saw Cheng Mingdu holding an old cardboard box, watching her standing on the wooden ladder, her flashlight still in her hand, panting heavily like a voyeur.
A hint of surprise flashed across those beautiful, serene eyes, and then the universe in his eyes seemed to be illuminated, gazing at her in a dark and profound way.
"What are you... doing?" The voice was indifferent and steady, with a refined quality.
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Author's Note: 50 red envelopes!! [Cat emoji]
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