Chapter 97. The letter ends abruptly. There is no explanation, no further self-justification.
Ye Yuying's fingertips slowly traced the paper, and a scene from years ago floated before her eyes. She couldn't recall what season it was, but she saw Ji Zi, who had returned to the campus, hesitant to speak to her. At that time, she was holding her breath and ignored everything.
Ye Yuying used to think she was always kind and foolish, but now she realizes how deep her anger was back then.
But she never imagined that Ji Zi was really sick back then, and that after leaving school, she would never have the chance to see her face to face again.
This letter remained hidden under the cabinet until many years later when it returned to her.
The world is so absurd that there is nowhere to escape.
Ye Yuying sat quietly, the paper gradually dampened by her tears, yet she smiled. The smile was faint, like a flame about to be extinguished in the wind.
Why, more than a decade later, did fate strike her heart like a boomerang?
Ye Yuying gripped the yellowed letter tightly with her fingertips, her knuckles turning white. The paper trembled violently, as if it were about to be crumpled, but she couldn't bear to let go.
The vision blurred and cleared, then blurred again; the signature on the paper was constantly distorted and refracted in the shimmering water.
Cheng Mingdu looked at her, as if her sadness at this moment was also a tangible thing. He reached out and pulled her into his arms, placing his palm on her back and gently stroking it. His voice was low and steady: "If you feel regret, why don't you go find her?"
Ye Yuying choked back tears and shook her head: "She wouldn't really be sick, would she..."
But this letter was written more than a decade ago.
He hugged her tightly and whispered comfortingly, "She's probably cured now and is living a peaceful and fulfilling life."
After a long while, Ye Yuying raised her tearful eyes, with an almost stubborn determination: "I'm going to find Ji Zi. I need to know... what happened to her afterwards."
*
After that separation, Ji Zi moved several times, but fortunately she always stayed in Chengdu.
Cheng Mingdu's family is based in Chengdu, so it didn't take him long to find Ji Zi's family's current address.
It was an old residential area, with a rusty iron gate at the entrance.
When Ye Yuying stepped into this place, she felt very uneasy. In her memory, Ji Zi's family lived in a townhouse in a villa area. Now that they had moved here, it seemed that illness had taken its toll.
The person who opened the door was Ji Zi's mother, her eyes already lined with wrinkles. She looked at Ye Yuying, trying to make out her identity for a long time, and asked, "Excuse me, who are you looking for?"
Ye Yuying quickly introduced herself: "Auntie, do you still recognize me? My name is Ye Yuying, and I was Ji Zi's junior high school classmate."
The woman opposite looked haggard, and it took her a while to react before she slowly said, "Yu Ying, you've changed so much over the years, I almost didn't recognize you. Come in and sit down."
Ji Zi's mother took the initiative to open the iron gate outside and invited them into the house.
Before entering the house, Ye Yuying asked, "Excuse me, is Ji Zi here?"
After a long silence, Ji's mother's cloudy eyes began to redden, like eyes that often wept: "She... passed away at the beginning of this year."
She stood there, stunned, and asked uncertainly, "She's gone? Has she gone far away?"
Mother Ji shook her head, her voice trembling and dry: "It's not a long journey... it's that he's gone."
When those two words were uttered, it was as if all the air had been sucked out. Ye Yuying's ears exploded with a "buzz," and she instantly understood the meaning of those two words.
Her throat felt like it was being forcefully choked, and she couldn't make a sound. Her fingertips gripped the cane tightly, the cold metallic texture penetrating her palms, but it couldn't pull her out of her daze.
Cheng Mingdu stood beside her, his brow furrowing slightly, but he didn't say anything. He simply turned and supported her shoulder to prevent her from stumbling and falling.
Mrs. Ji sighed softly: "Over the years... she had been in and out of the hospital. Later... her condition worsened, and there was nothing more that could be done. She passed away peacefully, which is to say she suffered less."
Ye Yuying's chest felt as if it had been ripped open by a sharp blade.
It turns out that what she missed was not an apology, but Ji Zi's entire life cycle.
She asked in a hoarse voice, "Did she... leave any last words?"
Ji's mother raised her hand and wiped the corner of her eye: "I've been talking about you for years, but I stopped later. I just like to write songs. If you can promise not to reveal her real name, you can listen to them."
*
That night, she sat alone by the bay window, the computer screen flickering on and off.
Suddenly, my mind flashed back to the media storm at the beginning of the year. The entire internet was filled with ridicule and sarcasm, but only one unfamiliar ID spoke up for her—Zino.
[#I support Ashera# I believe that all she wants to do is help more butterflies with broken wings to relearn how to fly.]
I was a victim of bullying at Laishan Middle School back then. It was Ye Yuying who ended it all. No matter what public opinion turns against me, I support her and Ashera.
Those two short sentences once made her cry uncontrollably in the middle of the night.
She felt at the time that Zino's voice sounded somewhat familiar in the album, yet now it strangely overlapped with Ji Zi's voice as an adult. However, she didn't delve into it at the time.
That night, she tossed and turned, her body aching, her bones burning and throbbing, and she developed a low-grade fever. In her hazy state, she realized that her body was speaking out.
She dreamt that she returned to her junior high school playground. Under the sycamore trees, sunlight dappled the ground, and Ji Zi, wearing her school uniform, had sunlight streaming down her shoulders.
She remained as quiet as ever, with delicate features and a gentle smile on her face.
In her memory, Ji Zi has never grown up; she remains forever in the naive state of junior high school.
"Yu Ying," she called softly.
Ye Yuying turned around quickly, tears streaming down her face. She wanted to rush over, but found herself trapped in place.
Ji Zi smiled and shook her head, her voice as gentle as the wind: "I've already left, don't cry. Live well, live freely and happily."
Her figure gradually disappeared into the light.
The next second, she appeared on the bustling street, leaning on her cane as always, while her slender and tall figure appeared at the intersection in the distance.
Ye Yuying hurried over, and the adult Ji Zi saw her with surprise and heartache in her eyes, "What happened to you, Yuying?"
Ye Yuying forced a smile and said, "I'm fine. How about you? I heard you became a very successful original singer."
Ji Zi waved her hand and smiled sheepishly, "They're all just empty titles, I wrote them out of boredom while lying in my hospital bed."
As she laughed, the smiles froze on Ji Zi's face. She looked up at the ever-rising city skyline, at the endless stream of pedestrians and vehicles that never actually moved, and fell into a daze.
With a trembling voice and a pale face, Ji Zi said, "Yu Ying, I made a mistake. I rarely come to the street. I should be in the hospital."
The two looked at each other in silence.
Finally, Ji Zi spoke first: "Yu Ying, I'm leaving."
Ye Yuying wiped away her tears and forced a smile, "It's okay, we'll probably see each other soon."
Ji Zi turned around, smiled brightly, and said mysteriously, "I secretly flipped through the Book of Life and Death, you won't be here so soon."
After saying that, Ji Zi's figure turned into scattered fragments in the setting sun.
Ye Yuying woke up with a start, her pillow soaked.
From that day on, her health deteriorated rapidly.
I frequently have low-grade fevers, feel weak all over, and often wake up at night with a cough that is as pale as paper.
Knowing she was rapidly declining, she offered to go home to recuperate, but Cheng Mingdu refused.
But when Cheng Mingdu opened his door the following evening, the house was empty again.
*
The technological bottleneck of exoskeletons has been overcome, and the rest of Ashera can be accomplished by the remaining team. Ding Chu can handle the marketing aspect perfectly.
Ye Yuying took leave due to health reasons.
Cheng Mingdu appeared in Ye Yuying's office as usual on a weekday evening, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Under his oppressive gaze, Ding Chu said with difficulty, "The boss wants to take a break recently."
Cheng Mingdu asked directly, "Will she come back?"
Ding Chu nodded quickly: "Yes, of course I will."
He grabbed his coat and quickly walked out of Ashera.
*
When Ye Yuying came out of the hospital, there were still faint marks on her arm where the IV needle had been removed.
She took a taxi home. When she got out of the car, she was wearing a mask and walking slowly, as if all her strength had been drained. She could only support herself little by little with her cane.
The evening breeze blew in from under the sycamore trees at the entrance of the residential area, swirling up fallen leaves.
She looked up and saw Cheng Mingdu standing there.
He wasn't wearing a suit jacket, looking particularly thin in the chilly spring air, just a simple shirt. His expression was stern, and his brows and eyes appeared especially somber in the twilight, as if he had been waiting for a long time.
The moment their eyes met in the air, her heart tightened suddenly.
Sure enough, he came.
Cheng Mingdu walked over, looking somewhat dejected: "Why so suddenly?"
Ye Yuying's lips twitched slightly: "I want to rest by myself."
He stared at her, his voice even lower, "Or is there something you don't want me to know?"
Ye Yuying's knuckles turned white as she gripped the cane. She lowered her eyes, avoiding his gaze: "I'm sick, and I don't want to infect you."
"Do you think I care about this?" he asked, interrupting her refusal.
She remained silent, her lips trembling slightly, before finally uttering only a faint sentence: "Your mission... has been accomplished, and I still have my own life to live."
The air fell silent instantly.
"My mission? Is it just to help you solve your technical bottlenecks?"
He looked at her, his Adam's apple bobbing, a complex emotion suppressed in his eyes, a restraint on the verge of exploding.
"I guess so."
Ye Yuying coughed twice, raised her hand to cover her mouth and nose, and her eyes were slightly red.
She walked toward the apartment, with Cheng Mingdu still by her side.
She wanted to make things more dignified, saying, "I'll go up myself. Drive carefully, goodnight."
She rattled off a series of polite phrases in a manner that seemed unusually rushed.
Before Cheng Mingdu could speak, she turned and walked towards the elevator without looking back, listening intently to the sounds behind her.
But she still couldn't hear any footsteps fading away. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. The presence of that gaze behind her was very strong. She stiffened her neck, and her muscles were so tense that they ached.
"Ye Yuying".
She paused, realizing she couldn't pretend she hadn't heard, so she stopped and turned around.
"I thought we had started over."
"If everything before doesn't count, then now, I'm asking you formally, can we go back?"
He's changed too; these blunt words are not in line with his usual style.
In her memory, he rarely showed such undisguised and vulnerable longing in front of her.
But now...
Cheng Mingdu, where has your pride and self-control gone?
In that instant, Ye Yuying felt like an ancient porcelain piece that had been displayed in a museum case for thousands of years. The moment his words fell, countless invisible, hair-thin cracks had already quietly appeared.
If you shine a purple light on it, you'll find that it's already so damaged... that it can't be repaired.
She wanted to nod.
Every single cell in her body, still screaming in pain and broken, was screaming and nodding!
Once she nodded, she would no longer have to face this malicious and bizarre world alone, and could return to the warm harbor she cherished most.
She can have him again.
But……
Then what?
Then, show him how he relies on painkillers and crutches every day to maintain a semblance of dignity.
Then, show him himself, after a failed high-risk surgery, completely paralyzed in bed, even losing all self-control, in that undignified, ugly state...
It took her eight years to traverse mountains and valleys, enduring hardships and bitter cold, to finally transform herself from a "Ying" mired in the mire, whom he needed to bend down and offer pity, into Ye Yuying, who, at least on the surface, could look up to him from afar.
She would never allow herself to become that pitiful cripple who needed his pity again.
So, faced with that tempting question that almost destroyed all her reason, Ye Yuying slowly raised her head.
“Cheng Mingdu,” she said, her voice unusually clear in the empty underground parking garage, filled with extreme regret.
“I admit that I had inappropriate thoughts about you back then, and I also took inappropriate actions towards you. If I had known all of this beforehand, I definitely wouldn’t have done it. In that case, at least you could still be my family, and you wouldn’t be thinking about starting over.”
People's feelings change, and we can't step into the same river twice. I'm fine now, and you're fine too, and that's enough.
May we all be well.
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Author's Note: 50~
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