Chapter 136 Desire is like a rolling stone on a mountain. Addiction is not about indulging desire...
Chapter 136:
"You...are not lying to me?" Chi Yu wiped away her tears with a hand, somewhat incredulous.
"No." Xie Xiyi stared at him. After taking off his mask, he seemed to have no interest in putting it back on. "I said, I accept the loss."
He raised the corner of his lip, his sharp white teeth piercing out slightly. "However, the poison in my body is from the inside out. Your half heart is useless and has no value."
Xie Xiyi's words were false. After taking the pill, he felt a distinct warmth flowing down his throat. This warmth felt like a sting and a burn, like lava.
He could feel the burning pain gathering in his chest, and a blurry blood-red heart was slowly taking shape.
Xie Xiyi was surprised that the heart was not dissolved by the poison. Apart from the burning pain it caused him, the heart was not damaged at all.
But he still refused to admit defeat.
Chi Yu responded with a tearful laugh. He said, "Since I've made this choice, I naturally have a way to deal with it. Brother Xuan Ji, that heart is already inside you, right?"
Xie Xiyi tilted his head slightly to look at him without saying anything.
Just stop crying.
It's not like Xie Xiyi had never seen others cry before. The people he killed often cried out of fear and despair, which was completely unlike what a monk would do.
He would like this ugly look of despair.
But the person in front of him was crying so hard that he couldn't breathe, and it felt like something in his body was hurting.
There was even an undeniable voice saying that he would do anything to stop his tears.
This is the consequence of not killing him. Xie Xiyi can feel that he is becoming less and less like himself.
The mysterious and silent part is being awakened.
Xie Xiyi's silence was undoubtedly an answer.
Chi Yu's eyes, still bright red from crying, were filled with obvious anticipation and joy. She couldn't help but call out, "Senior Brother Xuan Ji."
Xie Xiyi stood up and put on the smooth, dark black mask again, "Let me out."
Chi Yu coughed lightly a few times, barely covering up the nasal sound of his voice, "No, I can't let you out."
Xie Xiyi laughed, regaining his cheerful tone, "You can't lock me up. If you don't want to get hurt, let me out."
Chi Yu muttered softly, "I bet you won't hurt me."
Xie Xiyi: "..."
He said in a dangerous tone, "Don't push your luck."
Chi Yu smiled and said, "It was you, Senior Brother Xuan Ji, who gave me the opportunity to push my luck further."
“…” Xie Xiyi didn’t say anything else.
He glanced at Chi Yu and left.
Chi Yu could feel that the secret realm began to shake slightly again, obviously being attacked by Xie Xiyi.
Xue Yi appeared beside him again and said, "Since he has already taken the pill, why not let him out? I originally thought that this secret realm could hold him for a year or two, but now I have to change my mind. At most, he will be able to break through this secret realm in a month."
Chi Yu didn't answer but asked, "Senior, do you know when my Senior Brother Xuan Ji will be able to come back after he has my heart?"
Xue Yi said: "As far as I know, it shouldn't have an immediate effect."
Chi Yu was a little disappointed, "How long will it take?"
Xue Yi thought for a moment and said, "I don't know, but I don't think it should be very slow."
Chi Yu said, "I can't let Senior Brother Xuan Ji out since he hasn't recovered his memory yet. Once he's out, he'll be like a tiger out of a cage. It'll be hard for me to control him."
He paused and continued, "Only when Senior Brother Xuan Ji comes back can we have a normal conversation. Senior Brother Xuan Ji will listen to me, but now Senior Brother Xuan Ji, whether he listens or not depends solely on his mood."
Xue Yi said, "If you want to keep him locked up, I have no objection, but you can't destroy this secret place."
Chi Yu smiled and said, "I know, don't worry, senior. I don't use this secret realm as a tool. I also know how much it means to you."
Xue Yi said, "That's good."
Time in the secret realm passed, but Xie Xiyi rarely appeared in front of Chi Yu.
Chi Yu opened up a cave, and when night fell, his craving came as expected.
It was an indescribable itch, so dense that it penetrated deep into the bone marrow and soul.
Chi Yu bit his arm. His Nascent Soul stage cultivation made his physique exceptionally strong, but even so, he still bit his arm until it bled.
The temperature in the cave suddenly dropped, frost spread in from the cave entrance, and Xie Xiyi's figure appeared.
He stood beside the jade bed, looking at Chi Yu sweating profusely on the bed, "Do you need my help?" He said in a low and hoarse voice.
"..." Chi Yu struggled to open his tear-stained eyes, loosened his bloody arm, and said in a hoarse voice, "I don't need it."
Xie Xiyi didn't seem surprised by his answer. "Is it necessary to hold on like this?"
Despite the unbearable pain, Chi Yu still smiled brightly. He said, "Brother Xuanji, when I was studying Zen in Luoper, you praised me for having the qualities of a Buddhist disciple. Since you praised me so highly, how could I not be consistent in my words and deeds? The addiction is indeed unbearable and drives people crazy, but overcoming it is also a form of spiritual practice."
"Human desire is like a rolling stone from a mountain. Once it falls, it will never stop. I will not succumb to it, so no matter what, I will not ask you for help."
Chi Yu's entire body began to tremble violently. He calmed down and continued to smile, "Brother Xuanji, you are not even inferior to me. When I was holding back, you couldn't help but pounce on me, right?"
Xie Xiyi smiled softly and said, "I won't. I'm actually very curious if you can really be consistent and hold on until the end."
Chi Yu said: "I will, and you know I can do it."
Xie Xiyi remained silent.
The Qingxin Wudao Tea was useful before, but this time it seemed to have developed "drug resistance". I took a long time to finish taking it after taking a small piece of it.
This thing was very precious, and Senior Brother Xuan Ji didn't get much, so he gave it all to him without any reservation. Chi Yu cherished it very much, so he was reluctant to spend money on it, which was a waste of resources.
This time I just have to tough it out.
Xie Xiyi watched him from the side, and Chi Yu seemed to be able to divert some of his attention. "...This addiction is indeed painful, like millions of mosquitoes and a hundred million ants biting you. However, I have always felt that being able to endure all the complex desires and temptations in this world and still maintain your original intention is truly admirable."
"Perhaps I haven't reached that point yet, but I'm undoubtedly moving in that direction. Enduring this addiction is a form of self-discipline." Chi Yu panted impatiently, then continued with a smile, "What's the difference between someone who can't endure desire and a beast? —Senior Brother Xuanji, don't misunderstand me, I'm not talking about you."
Xie Xiyi gritted his teeth lightly but didn't say anything.
His silence didn't stop Chi Yu from speaking. In fact, his mind was already a little hazy, and his words were halting. "It's really hard, I want it so badly... But this is the most superficial 'I'. The 'I' carries chaotic desires, evil thoughts, and all the seven emotions and six desires. But the deepest 'I' will allow me to overcome the superficial 'I'. Only by constantly fighting this battle can I bear the fruit of Prajna wisdom and finally achieve Nirvana."
"I am struggling with 'me' now, Senior Brother Xuan Ji, I have not let you down. I don't have to satisfy my desires. I am still practicing." He spoke intermittently, and sweat began to seep out of his body. His robes were soaked layer by layer, and there was obvious water flowing on the jade bed.
"Senior Brother Xuan Ji..." He grabbed his sleeve and called out in a somewhat helpless voice.
But Xie Xiyi knew that he did not give in.
Xie Xiyi felt an unprecedented touch in his heart - he didn't know what touched him, but the speed at which the heart in his chest took shape suddenly accelerated a lot.
This heart, like Chi Yu's, was as hot as the sun, faintly pumping out heat from the icy blood in his body, so that his whole body began to ache, and his blood vessels melted over and over again, and then returned to their original state under the effect of the forbidden spell.
The burns caused him to melt from the inside out, but in the midst of this excruciating pain, Xie Xiyi felt an inexplicable emotion in his heart, like surging waves.
He sat on the jade bed, and with his fingers covered in black mist, he brushed away the wet black hair on Chi Yu's cheek. "...Chi Yu." He called the name softly, and then paused.
Xie Xiyi seemed to have lost the ability to speak and fell into a long silence.
He took off his mask, covered Chi Yu's face with it, leaned over, and gently placed a feather-light kiss on his forehead.
"Senior Brother Xuanji..." Chi Yu spoke muffledly through his mask, "What are you doing?"
The forbidden spell chain poked out from Xie Xiyi's sleeve and spit out a forbidden spell, which was injected into Chi Yu's body by Xie Xiyi. "You won't be sad anymore... Have a good sleep."
After he finished speaking, Chi Yu felt that the gnawing itch in his bones disappeared. At the same time, an overwhelming sleepiness came over him and Chi Yu fell asleep.
Xie Xiyi picked up the mask, lowered his eyes to look at Chi Yu's beautiful blushing face, and whispered softly: "You have done very well."
*
The next day, Chi Yu woke up.
He lay on the jade bed, and it was a long time before he remembered what happened before he fell asleep.
He sat up suddenly and touched his body. The mess on his body had been cleaned up and his robes were dry and clean.
Chi Yu strode out of the cave and saw Xie Xiyi sitting on the hillside holding Huandian and looking out.
Chi Yu walked up to him, "Senior Brother Xuan Ji."
Xie Xiyi did not respond to him.
Chi Yu sat next to him, and the phantom in his arms escaped and fell into Chi Yu's arms, buzzing to show its joy.
Chi Yu stroked the sword like he was stroking a dog, causing the phantom lightning to buzz even more violently.
As the remaining fruit of awareness and wisdom of Xuan Ji, Huan Dian has a purer love for Chi Yu.
Chi Yu only recently understood why Huandian was so close to him.
Because he loved the person and loved everything about him, his feelings for Huandian truly turned into love and pity.
"Senior Brother Xuan Ji, why don't you speak?" Chi Yu said to Xie Xiyi.
Xie Xiyi chuckled softly and said slowly, "I don't think anyone would speak to their jailer in a friendly and nonchalant manner."
Chi Yu pretended to be wronged and said, "But, we are also Taoist couples."
Xie Xiyi said, "Yesterday you were talking about fellow apprentices."
Chi Yu said, "I say we are brothers because I'm afraid that you, Brother Xuanji, will communicate with me without knowing the truth."
Xie Xiyi didn't say anything.
Chi Yu asked, "Senior Brother Xuan Ji, do you remember anything?"
Xie Xiyi said in a pleasant voice: "I really want to kill you."
Chi Yu laughed and said, "You can't bear to leave."
Xie Xiyi thought to himself, this is so sad.
He was completely defeated.
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