Chapter 28 The world kisses me with pain, and I die of pain
Wang Qingwei and He Xiaolan walked back and forth along the Haihe River. They talked about Qian Helin's new car, various relatives in their hometown, and Wang Yunfu's fish pond, but they felt they lacked the breath to get down to business.
"Lao Wang, we have been together for almost ten years. If you have anything to say, just tell me. Don't beat around the bush. Whether it's unemployment or a terminal illness, I can bear it."
Wang Qingwei's heart skipped a beat when he heard the word "unemployed." He was indeed unemployed. Tao Lin had assigned him to a new project team, but he wouldn't assign him specific tasks. He knew his current job was coming to an end, and while he couldn't offer to resign, he had to endure it for the sake of the final compensation.
The day before yesterday, Lin Yaping came again. This time she threw her child into the company and ran away. The baby's crying echoed throughout the company. Wang Qingwei had no choice but to take the child to find Lin Yaping. When the HR called Wang Qingwei, Wang Qingwei was looking everywhere for Lin Yaping's new home.
Life is anything but easy. Even when such an unexpected disaster befell him, Wang Qingwei still wondered if he had made the wrong wish when he and He Xiaolan went to the Fire Temple at the beginning of the year. After asking around and finally contacting the lawyer representing Zhang Hang's parents, he learned that Zhang Hang's parents had sold their new home because Lin Yaping gave birth to a girl and no longer cared about them. Lin Yaping had no choice but to move to Tiantongyuan with the child.
Tiantongyuan is huge, and it's said the population there is almost as large as that of a small country. Every window and every door tells a story, but none of them involve Wang Qingwei. When he found Lin Yaping, she was sitting downstairs, lost in thought.
Wang Qingwei didn't want to go crazy with her. Even if it meant losing his job and possibly his family, he still wanted to maintain his image as a good guy. But good people don't live long, while evil lasts for ten thousand years. Even though everything he did was in accordance with his conscience and adhered to morality, good luck never seemed to favor him, always making him almost miss his ideal.
"When your family is sick, can you please stop disturbing other families? I have lost my job. Are you happy? Do I have to die to accompany Zhang Hang before you will be satisfied?"
The baby was stuffed into Lin Yaping's arms, and his crying could not cover up Wang Qingwei's anger.
"Brother Wang, there's nothing I can do. My mother and I have to make a living."
"Are you the only family that wants to survive in this world?"
Being alive is the simplest thing, but now even this has become difficult. The prosperity is for others to see, but the bad things can only be left to oneself.
He Xiaolan held Wang Qingwei's arm and shook it gently.
"When I married you, we had nothing. If I could start over again, it would be possible..." He Xiaolan's voice trailed off. She said these words only to comfort Wang Qingwei, to tell him not to jump into the river. No one wants to live a life of nothing, and how could they easily give away the achievements they have already made? A clay Buddha can never become a living Buddha.
The social ladder that was so hard to reach could not be easily collapsed. They were silent, just standing by the river watching the old man's joy at his successful fishing. Don't ask, just let the days go by in a daze.
Such a subtle atmosphere blew from the Haihe River into Qian Helin and Hua Hudie's new car. Qin Tiantian followed Qian Helin and Hua Hudie's new car back to Beijing. She, who dared to kick Zhongtianmen, now didn't dare to breathe.
The smell of leather and plastic in the new car makes people feel a little carsick. Huadie sometimes looks up from her phone and talks about the gossip she just saw in the push notifications to make herself look normal.
Qian Helin didn't think anything of it, bobbing his head to the music in the car. When he heard something exciting, he asked, "Is this speaker good? It's Bowers & Wilkins. Can it imitate the opera house effect of that Italian academy near IKEA?"
"It's pretty good. The high notes are high, the low notes are low, David Tao is David Tao, Jay Chou is Jay Chou, and it's all clear." Qin Tiantian's phone was nearly broken by the taps, constantly trying to figure out how long it would take to get home. She hoped there wouldn't be a single train to Beijing Station. If she had known, she would have stayed in Tianjin overnight and taken the high-speed train back to Beijing early tomorrow morning.
Obviously, Qian Helin was not satisfied with Qin Tiantian's answer, so he turned up the volume a little higher. Hua Hudie's patience had reached its limit, so she turned off Qian Helin's speaker, which also aroused Qian Helin's doubts.
"What's wrong? Doesn't it sound good? How about we play your playlist?"
"Why are you putting it on? Drive your car properly so late."
"Are you unhappy?"
"No"!
Qian Helin was done. Based on Qin Tiantian's understanding of Hua Hudie, there would definitely be a big fight between the two of them when they got home. People would definitely do wrong things when they were embarrassed. He sent a message to He Xiaolan, but it ended up being sent to a group of three people.
"I think Xiaoxiao and Lao Qian are bound to have a showdown tonight."
"I won't argue with him. I'm too lazy to pay attention to him." Hua Hudie was lukewarm, Qin Tiantian's face was flushed and hot, and Qian Helin was almost cold.
Finally, I got home. The moment the car door closed, I ran. As I neared the entrance to my apartment building, I saw someone I knew squatting there. I took two steps forward and saw Jerry, a pitiful figure crouching there in a hooded sweatshirt. Seeing Qin Tiantian return, he immediately rushed over to hug her, only to be pushed away.
"What are you doing here? We broke up a long time ago."
"I didn't agree! This doesn't count as a breakup," Jerry held up his phone to show Qin Tiantian. Even though he was blocked, he still kept sending her messages. Every sentence was so corny, so corny that he had to read it out as a punishment during the dare game.
"Jerry, you're trying to coax me with the same tricks you use on little girls. You really look down on me." Qin Tiantian was too lazy to argue with him and turned to leave. However, the community was old and the iron gate at the entrance was half-hanging on the wall, leaving no room for resistance.
"If you don't forgive me today, I won't leave."
"Then you just stand here. If you dare to follow me upstairs, I will call the police and report you for stalking me. Do you understand?"
He didn't listen. She took a step and he followed, and they arrived at Qin Tiantian's doorstep.
"You won't call the police."
Qin Tiantian didn't call the police not because she was soft-hearted, but simply because she didn't want to cause trouble for the police.
"I've never met anyone as bad as you. If you have anything to say, just come in and tell me. It would be embarrassing if the neighbors heard it."
Jerry's excuse was nothing more than that he had to film and signed a confidentiality agreement and couldn't make or receive phone calls. He came to see her as soon as he finished filming. He had been waiting for her downstairs of her house last night. The cool autumn wind at night made him catch a cold, and he sneezed at the right time.
"Tiantian, I will never be like this again..."
As he spoke, he kissed her, his tongue already inserted into Qin Tiantian's mouth, the light mint flavor infused into her mouth, and his tongue tip gently swept across Qin Tiantian's palate, arousing a little bit of desire. However, fear still overwhelmed the desire. This somewhat forced kiss made her quickly alert, recalling the past when sex was not allowed, and her whole body felt cold.
Jerry was kicked to the ground and the back of his head hit the coffee table.
"Go away, I want to be alone tonight."
"What's wrong with you?" Jerry noticed Qin Tiantian's discomfort. She was curled up in a corner of the sofa, her arms folded, her eyes a bit empty. He had never seen her like this before. He stood up, poured her a glass of warm water, and placed it on the coffee table. He walked to the door reluctantly.
"Then I'll be leaving first. Is it okay for you to be home alone? If you need anything, you can call me. I'm always here for you."
The door clicked open, and Qin Tiantian, trembling, dug out a half-smoked pack of Essence cigarettes from a drawer. The smoke billowing from the firefly's butt in the room gradually dissipated her unease. A ghostly nausea always haunted her. Whether she sought treatment or resorted to self-revenge, the events of that time remained ingrained in her mind. She first smoked in her freshman year of high school. Her mother insisted on transferring her, despite having been admitted to a key high school, to a less prestigious one where relatives lived. The onslaught of adolescence led her to rebel against her mother's hegemony by sabotaging her own efforts.
She met a girl who was a student from out of town. She knew everything, loved watching anime, and she also liked skipping classes. The first time Qin Tiantian escaped from evening study, she and her girl hid on the hillside behind the playground. The girl handed her a cigarette, a cheap Taishan, which was very pungent, but she didn't dare to cough too hard. The tobacco tasted bad at all, but the girl's lips were very soft. She kissed Qin Tiantian gently, just once, and the warm feeling was fleeting. The girl said jokingly that she liked her and liked being with her.
But the next day, the girl transferred to another school. Her parents' divorce was finalized, and she was leaving with her mother to go south. All she left was half a pack of cigarettes, each cigarette tip encircled by a red lipstick mark. Qin Tiantian didn't know it was love at the time, only the kindness of a friend, but her tenderness remained in her heart forever.
Whenever her emotions were out of control, she would still smoke a cigarette to drive away all the bad things and let it live back in her heart. Although I have forgotten her name now, she still often appears in my dreams. At the end of the nightmare, she was standing at the door of the high school classroom, waiting for her, "Do you want to go get some water together?"
The emotions washed by the water gradually calmed down. When drying the bath towel on the balcony, I saw Jerry running downstairs because of the cold. It was such a routine, but Qin Tiantian just fell for it. When she called him up, he was so cold that he stuttered when he spoke.
"I know you will forgive me."
After Jerry finished his shower, he insisted that Qin Tiantian clean him up. It was quite difficult for the two of them to squeeze into the narrow bathroom. They pressed against each other, the fabric of their pajamas rubbing against their skin, following the movements of his body. Her dishonest hands had already crossed the obstruction and brushed across the two sensitive points, making her kiss his collarbone uncontrollably. His chest muscles, which had been well-trained and still had some elasticity, gently collided with hers.
"Tell me, what's your name?"
"My name is Qin Tiantian's lover."
I pushed him away and refused to continue with him. He refused to tell me everything about himself.
The bow and arrow are ready to go. It's just a name, what's there to hide? 1.4 billion people all have their own exclusive titles, so why not tell her?
While the pain was suffocating in his chest, his name was heard by others.
"Zhang Haiming, my name is Zhang Haiming, you must remember it, never forget it."
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