Chapter 29 Duckweed
Since there was no place to stay in Tianjin, He Xiaolan and her husband decided to take Yueyue back to Beijing for two days over the weekend. They would buy the latest high-speed train ticket on Sunday night and have Wang Qingwei take her back. The three of them hadn't lived together in a long time, and suddenly they felt a little uncomfortable. Everyone seemed a little polite.
"Dad, do you have time? Can you help me with this math problem?" "Mom, I've finished my homework. Can I watch TV for a while?"
Although everyone tried their best to act normal, the long silence still made He Xiaolan feel suffocated. During the time Yueyue went to school in Tianjin, He Xiaolan sometimes forgot that she was still a mother. It was like she had returned to her pre-marriage life, eating when she wanted, sleeping when she wanted, and occasionally having a drink at night.
Yueyue's joys, sorrows, anger, and happiness began to drift away from her, like a puppy back home, occasionally remembered to play with it, then forgotten about it. Suddenly, two people, one large and one small, squeezed into the house, leaving He Xiaolan in a trance.
"Yueyue, mommy will take you to the neighborhood to play. I heard a lot of kids playing there."
He Xiaolan sat down not far from the children's play area and played on the seesaw and swings with them for a while. Yueyue then found her own companions and had a blast sliding up and down the slide. The little boy stared at Yueyue for a long time before asking, "I think I've seen you before. Did you live here before?"
"I've always lived here, this is my home." Yueyue was a little unhappy, lowering her head to play with the small stone in her hand.
"Which elementary school did you go to?"
"I go to primary school in Tianjin."
"My mother said that children without Beijing hukou cannot go to primary school in Beijing, so your family must not have a Beijing hukou."
"What is a household registration?" Yueyue looked at He Xiaolan with some confusion. He Xiaolan waved her over and said, "Let's go home and have dinner." The little boy's mother was sitting next to He Xiaolan. When she heard her son talking nonsense in her name, she quickly went over to cover his mouth and kept saying sorry to He Xiaolan.
"It's okay, we really don't have a household registration, and what the child said is true."
"Mom, why don't we have a Beijing hukou?"
He Xiaolan didn't know how to answer Yueyue. Should she tell her that her parents were incompetent? Her grandparents weren't helpful? Or that her ancestors lacked foresight? No matter what she said, there would be no perfect answer.
In the past, He Xiaolan only wanted to escape from her hometown and those scandals, but she never thought about how to live in this big city that she had only seen in textbooks.
To settle down here, she began to strictly demand herself, becoming like a Beijinger from the very beginning. However, a fake is always a fake, and no matter how long she stayed, she still felt out of place in Beijing. When she first met the butterfly, He Xiaolan was a little crushed. The life she had worked so hard for for so long was just an everyday life for others.
Some people are born at the finish line, some are born at the starting line, and He Xiaolan didn't even touch the starting line at the beginning. It was not until she bought a house and a car that she was qualified to run the race. She worked hard for these things for twenty years.
Before buying the house in Tianjin, He Xiaolan asked Wang Qingwei for his opinion. At that time, Wang Qingwei wanted to send Yueyue back to his hometown to go to school. What finally made him give up this idea was He Xiaolan's words: "Do you want Yueyue to walk the same path we have walked before?"
The pressure of paying two mortgages suddenly hit Wang Qingwei, unable to sleep. He quietly got up and browsed various recruitment apps in his study. Age was like a rope around his neck; a slight pull would have him dead in the workplace. Yueyue slept soundly. On her first birthday, he made a wish that he would earn enough money to provide her with comfortable food and clothing when she grew up, allowing her to do whatever she wanted.
Unfortunately, my father lost his job before his wish was half fulfilled.
He sent messages to every headhunter he knew, but received no useful responses. He didn't know how to tell He Xiaolan that his negligence and kindness had put his family in trouble. He could only keep it a secret for the time being. He had become a failed man, unemployed in middle age, and unable to find another job.
Hua Hudie and Qian Helin couldn't sleep either. Hua Hudie hadn't spoken to Qian Helin for a whole day. Qian Helin also knew that his decision to act without prior consent had hit Hua Hudie sore.
"Xiaoxiao, I want to talk to you."
Butterfly is fighting against her age in the bathroom, applying layer after layer of skin care products.
"What do you want to say?" She really didn't bother to look him in the eye. After being married to Qian Helin for so many years, Hua Hudie had truly experienced the pain of being a single mother, especially when her child was a second-generation rich kid like Qian Helin. He had always been willing to do things according to his own preferences, regardless of the consequences or the future.
"I know you must be angry that I didn't tell you about the car I bought this time. I think our family has been driving the original car for too long, and now there is a subsidy, so it's a good time to buy a car."
"Qian Helin, think carefully. I have never stopped you from buying a car, but can our family afford a car worth 600,000 yuan?"
"Why not? Is there anything wrong with me wanting to buy a car I like? We don't have a mortgage, our parents have their own house, we don't have children, and our parents have a pension, so what do we need to worry about? Xiaoxiao, I think you are too anxious. Can you live a more relaxed life?"
"I'm 38 years old, you're 37, and our parents are almost 70. They seem healthy and well, but have you ever thought about what would happen if one of them got sick? What if something unexpected happened? Do you know how much money we have in our savings?"
Qian Helin was speechless when asked. He stood at the bathroom door and looked at the butterfly pitifully, "But I like it very much. I just want to buy something I like."
Hua Hudie's patience was exhausted. She tore off the mask on her face and threw it on Qian Helin. She grabbed Qian Helin's collar and dragged him to the living room, "Tell me, what is there in this room that you don't like? You said you liked everything you bought. When you wanted to invest in making movies and open a beauty salon, these were all your favorite things. Have you done your job well?"
"Qian Helin, we just happened to be born in Beijing, and our parents are just ordinary Beijingers. We're no different from Xiaolan, Lao Wang, and Tiantian. Can you please stop being so childish?" To be honest, Hua Hudie was having a hard time. The beauty salon was spending 50,000 to 60,000 yuan a day, and the daily income couldn't even cover the costs. She socialized and drank alcohol everywhere just to keep her old clients and attract new ones.
When she first entered society, she was still a shy little girl who would blush if she talked too much to others. But now she is dealing with those rich ladies and is as slippery as a loach. When Qian Helin decided to do this, he made the decision on the spur of the moment, but in the end he had to clean up the mess himself.
I'm really tired. Every day is exhausting. I have to take care of the business, my parents, and Qian Helin. I'm like a nanny who's always around them. I've forgotten my dreams. When I was in school, I read a lot of novels. I envied the heroines who could open a flower shop after a few years of hard work and keep it beautiful every day, instead of having to deal with interpersonal relationships as soon as I open my eyes.
"No one is stopping you from opening a flower shop. Let's go find a place tomorrow. It's just a flower shop, right?"
"Are you a billionaire? You can do whatever you want?"
"You are afraid of wolves in front and tigers behind, why do you blame me for not letting you do it?"
The ending was a bittersweet one. Qian Helin stormed out alone, and Hua Hudie was exhausted. Whose fault was it? Was he too timid, too calculating? Just when he wanted to call He Xiaolan and Qin Tiantian, it was already past midnight, so he decided to let all his emotions run their course. He took out every sweet treat in the fridge and devoured it, eating until his stomach felt empty, until he had to vomit. As the sticky cream, mingled with stomach acid, poured out, tears flowed freely.
He Xiaolan knew Wang Qingwei was awake, but she herself hadn't fallen asleep either. Ever since she sold her house in her hometown, she'd felt a sense of unease, a sense of being completely rootless. Beijing wasn't home, Tianjin wasn't home, and now her hometown wasn't home either. When she was just learning to write essays, she'd always used to write about being a rootless duckweed adrift in the current. Now, she truly understood the feeling of being adrift, with no place to settle down.
From the moment they married, they had made a pact not to ask about each other's work, nor bring work emotions home. Their union, from the outset, was shaped by the original purpose of marriage: to have a house to call home, to have a child who wasn't particularly bright or beautiful, and to pass on the ordinary genes of both families.
Such a marriage does not need to be maintained because no one wants it to break up, and no one has the ability to form a second marriage. Getting married is enough to experience once in a lifetime. It is not like winning a lottery, and you have to make a wish again and again.
He Xiaolan couldn't hold her pee any longer, so she got up to go to the bathroom. Wang Qingwei was just tiptoeing into the room to prepare for bed.
"Why are you up?"
"Get up and go to the bathroom. Go back to sleep. We said we'd take Yueyue to the zoo tomorrow. Let's get up early. You two still have time to catch the high-speed train this afternoon."
He Xiaolan hugged Wang Qingwei's not-so-broad shoulders from behind, hearing a muffled sigh from his chest. She patted him gently, soothing him like a baby. It had been a long time since they had done anything, and even when they did, they got straight to the point, not letting their emotions boil over like they were doing now.
No one wants to listen to the sexual affairs of two middle-aged people. They are like rotten bananas, edible but a little soft and disgusting. Even if they learn new tricks and try new positions tonight, Wang Qingwei runs out of energy before they reach the climax.
The unemployed middle-aged man finally became weak in all areas, unable to satisfy his family or her.
There was no rescue plot like the domineering CEO falling in love with a divorced woman with children. Their lives continued in this boring way. At the zoo, they were a loving family of three. Wang Qingwei earnestly explained each animal to Yueyue until everyone was exhausted. He Xiaolan returned home alone, waiting for every lively moment to be blown away by the night wind, returning to loneliness. Tomorrow was Monday, no time for melancholy. She had to prepare all the documents and necessary materials.
The Queen of International Trade is about to put on her leather armor again!
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