Chapter 19: The weather is great, but the money is gone
Sunk cost is the most terrible thing. It will make you hesitate when you should make a decision, because whether you take a step forward or a step back, there will be unpredictable costs.
Ge Lin couldn't bring herself to break up because she had invested so much love and money in Zhang Haiming over the years. What if, what if Zhang Haiming married her? What if, after breaking up, she would never be able to find a lover as suitable as her?
She sat at her workstation, dazed, her computer screen long gone black. She had a lot of work to do, but her mind was so swirling it was impossible to focus. She thought about the two gold bracelets her mother bought her for Chinese New Year. She wondered how much they would sell for if she recycled them. She'd check the prices on various platforms later. But what if her mother asked about the bracelets? She'd have to buy two fake ones on Pinduoduo to replace them.
Even if she sold the bracelet, it would only partially solve the problem. What would she do next? What if the money was overdue and they called her parents? How disappointed would they be? Ge Lin thought as she picked up her phone and began deleting the numbers in her address book. Her palms were sticky and burning, and no matter how much she wiped them, she couldn't get rid of the tension.
He Xiaolan could see Ge Lin's workstation from her office. The more she ate her sandwich, the more unhappy she felt. She found it strange to see Ge Lin sitting there, looking distraught.
After checking the attendance records in the Development Department, Ge Lin's attendance sheet had several obvious errors. After some thought, she printed it out and underlined them with a red pen so that Ge Lin could see them more clearly. Since such matters were not her responsibility, He Xiaolan softened her heart and ordered a cup of coffee before going to Ge Lin.
While waiting for the coffee to arrive, He Xiaolan sent a WeChat message to Wang Qingwei, "Are you free this weekend? I saw that the hotel in Aranya has reduced its price. Yueyue said she wanted to see the ocean on her birthday. If you don't have to work overtime, we can go together."
Wang Qingwei was too lazy to send messages, so he just called. "Not this week. I have a new program to test in the next two days and can't leave. How about we try next week?"
"Don't put it off until next week. It's already very cold in Qinhuangdao this week, and it's bound to be even colder next week. Forget it, I won't wait for you. I'll ask Teacher Qin and Butterfly if they're free."
He Xiaolan took the coffee handed to her by the delivery man, called Ge Lin, and asked her to go to the tea room.
"I went to the development department to check the attendance sheet you gave me, and there are several errors." A cup of iced latte was handed to Ge Lin, and the attendance sheet full of errors was stuffed in the takeout bag. He Xiaolan always remembered that she didn't drink American coffee, and she only asked for three points of sugar in the latte, but it was still a little sweet.
"What's wrong with you these past few days? You took the wrong resume for the second interview yesterday. Luckily, Mr. Yang let me take a look first. If he had taken it directly to the interview, he wouldn't have let you come to work today. Did something happen to you?"
"No, sister, maybe I have a cold these days and feel a little dizzy. I will be more careful next time." The sweet taste made her throat itchy, and she coughed lightly twice to prove her lie.
"If you have any problems, just tell me. Don't keep it in your heart. If there are any difficulties, we can solve them together." Although He Xiaolan's words were polite words between colleagues, they were also mixed with some sincerity. However, Ge Lin's predicament could not be solved by anyone's concern.
She earned 9,000 yuan a month, but after deducting taxes and social insurance, she was left with just over 7,000 yuan. When she and Zhang Haiming rented a house, he said he would pay the rent and Ge Lin would cover living expenses. However, as time went on, Zhang Haiming kept complaining about being broke, and Ge Lin ended up paying the rent.
With such a limited salary, and having to cover both living expenses and rent, Ge Lin felt like she was suffocating. Although her parents loved her and occasionally gave her some money, it was never enough. She had truly achieved this goal of increasing income and reducing expenditure. She hadn't bought any new clothes in five years. She bought all her clothes from Pinduoduo. Summer clothes didn't cost more than 30 yuan, and winter clothes didn't cost more than 70 yuan. This was the standard Ge Lin set for herself.
But how could plans change so quickly? After so many years of socializing, Ge Lin had to spend money to save Zhang Haiming's reputation. Even if she calculated carefully, there would be unexpected things. She had more and more loans, and more and more money to pay back every month. Next month she had to pay back 30,000 yuan, and she had no place to borrow money. The repayment date for next month was getting closer and closer, and she only had 1,300 yuan on her, not including the 168 yuan she stuffed under her pillow to attract wealth.
As the crowd squeezed into the subway, the chaotic day was coming to an end. Everyone in the subway had their own mission, and what was her mission? She remembered He Xiaolan teasing her, wondering if she owed Zhang Haiming something in her past life, which made her willing to give so much all the time. However, she had given so much, but Zhang Haiming seemed to have not noticed it at all. He was enjoying everything Ge Lin brought him. When he was happy, he would play with her like a puppy, taking her out for a walk and fulfilling her little wishes. When she was unhappy, she would just keep her mouth shut, sit in her little corner, holding the birthday gift she bought for herself, a white lamb doll, and quietly accompany Zhang Haiming.
Zhang Haiming hadn't come home yet, and the leftovers in the fridge were three days old. She microwaved them briefly and ate them with instant noodles. While eating, Ge Lin surveyed the rental apartment she called home. She'd bought everything herself, and the clothes hanging out to dry hadn't been put away yet. Zhang Haiming's T-shirt swayed in the wind, and Ge Lin's heart began to waver, too.
They bought the T-shirt together at the newly opened Wangfujing Outlets in Flower of the World. New stores had discounts, so Zhang Haiming went in to try on clothes. Ge Lin secretly looked at the prices of all the clothes and finally chose this black T-shirt with a clover pattern for 150 yuan. Because it was the only price of this shirt, she could pay for it without hesitation.
When Zhang Haiming graduated, he told Ge Lin that he was going to Beijing, saying that only there could he fulfill his dream. Ge Lin didn't question him, packed all her luggage, and went to Beijing with him. She told Zhang Haiming that she could cook and clean well, and that it would be a good idea for him to take her along.
Ge Lin had never had to make a decision. Her parents were strict, but they also gave her a lot of love and advice. From what university to attend to what major to study, her parents had already decided everything for her. The only decision she had to make was moving to Beijing.
This small room would be too small to turn around even if there was one more person, but she didn't care, because her love was here. Her first time, on a bed without sheets, she kissed him, and then went to bed naturally. Zhang Haiming was very familiar with all the processes, and all she had to do was follow his instructions. Zhang Haiming's enjoyment and Ge Lin's nervousness were all flickering with the broken lamp in the simple room. There was no need to worry about the broken lamp, love would naturally shine, but if she burned her own feelings like this, she would only hurt herself in the end. But now, Ge Lin felt that she was rotten. A good girl in the eyes of others had turned into a prodigal son with heavy debts. The light on the road ahead was completely extinguished.
"Ge Lin, wake up," he said, gently patting his face. The mirror after showering was foggy, and he couldn't clearly see his mediocre features and bloated figure. Now, he only had that job. No matter what, he had to do his best to keep it. It was his last hope.
The freshly made sandwiches were placed on a celadon plate. This plate was a prop Zhang Haiming had brought back from a previous filming. After cleaning it, he continued to use it. After finding three or four angles, he finally took a few satisfactory photos and posted them to the community tenant group.
"Any neighbors who need breakfast? I make my own sandwiches, using clean ingredients, and deliver them to your door. They're only five dollars each and guaranteed to fill you up. If you're in need, please add me on WeChat."
After sending this message, Ge Lin didn't dare to look at her phone. She deliberately threw the phone far away and picked up a book, but she couldn't read a single word. In less than three minutes, she picked up the phone again and opened WeChat. There was no friend request, only a message from the administrator kicking her out of the group and credit card repayment information.
No one knows how many more nights like this one will have to go through. Thousands of lights are crowded into the darkness, and my own brightness seems so insignificant.
Qin Tiantian said goodbye to Jerry at South Station. The smell of the sea still lingered on her suitcase, and she already missed him. He Xiaolan's message came just in time, interrupting her somewhat hypocritical longing. He Xiaolan's main topic was asking if she wanted to go to Aranya this weekend. She wanted to take Yueyue with her, but Wang Qingwei had to work overtime and couldn't go.
"Go ahead. I don't have anything to do this weekend anyway. Have you asked Butterfly if she wants to go?"
"She said she'd go, but Qian Helin isn't going. It's just right for the three of us to book one room. I saw on Xiaohongshu that those restaurants are all pretty good, so let's go try them all."
"I'm trying to lose weight recently~"
"Don't give me that shit. If you don't want to eat it, I'll have it with Butterfly."
It had become a little cold in Anaya, and the wind was howling at the seaside.
"Why choose this time instead of summer?" Butterfly's words were blown away by the wind, not a single word reaching He Xiaolan and Qin Tiantian's ears. The three of them, dragging a child along, struggled to walk towards the first cafeteria against the sea breeze. For a moment, He Xiaolan covered her face, which was stinging from the wind, and truly regretted it.
"I think hotels are cheap now. The same room type in summer will be at least half the price." He Xiaolan was looking for her favorite food with a tray in her hand. Yueyue had already chosen the children's meal and was sitting in her seat waiting for them in front of her iPad.
"I was originally planning to take a nice photo, but when I stood at the beach, I was blown away like a thousand feet."
"Isn't your friend a photographer? Ask him to take the photos. We'll pay per photo."
"He Xiaolan, tell me, you just have this little thought. Next week, I'll find a time for us to have dinner together."
Butterfly threw down her chopsticks and quickly ran to the bathroom.
"I told you not to drink iced American coffee on an empty stomach in the morning. You're still acting like that at your age." He Xiaolan shook her head helplessly. Qin Tiantian replied quickly, "If you run out of paper, call us and we'll come get you."
Yueyue handed her yogurt to Qin Tiantian and looked at her with a smile, "Godmother, I also want to see a handsome guy, but I think he is definitely not as handsome as Lin Detian from our class. He is the class flower of our class."
"First grade, you are a first grade kid, do you know what a handsome boy is or what the class flower is? I will throw your iPad into the sea later."
"That's mom's, not mine, you can throw it away." Yueyue's words made the two of them laugh.
"Yes, do that to your own mother."
He Xiaolan had just happily picked up a piece of meat and put it into her mouth when she saw two familiar figures walking into the door of the first cafeteria. In just a moment, He Xiaolan's face turned pale.
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