Chapter 24 "Let's break up. I wish you freedom."...
Throughout the Spring Festival, Liang Kongxiang spent all her time on the film set. Until the morning before she was transferred to another set, she took a break and went home. She took out the camera she had bought in college, placed it on the table, and squatted in front of the cabinet, opening the drawer and looking for something.
The sound of the wooden cabinet being pulled out rang out, and Grandma leaned against the doorway, holding a cup of hot water as she watched her busy herself.
She rummaged through the cabinet for a while, but it was empty. She turned to her hunched-over grandmother and asked, "Where's the card that was put here?"
Which one?
Liang Kongxiang got up and went around to the other side of the cabinet. She opened and rummaged through several palm-sized transparent plastic boxes, but couldn't find the memory card with only 8GB of memory. She explained, "It's black, and it's in a transparent plastic box. It's a very small card."
"Oh," Grandma suddenly remembered, "there are four sheets in a box, right?"
As she spoke, she walked unsteadily to open her bedroom door, headed towards the desk and cabinet, casually placed the glass aside, and bent down to find the key to open the long wooden cabinet in the middle. "The other day, your mother was cleaning, and this thing was covered in its box. She accidentally knocked it off while wiping things. You can tell from this that you cherish it, so I wouldn't dare leave it lying around. Look, isn't this it?"
Grandma pulled it out from the black foam cutout of the jewelry box and handed it to her.
Four cards, not one missing.
Liang Kongxiang pinched it between her thumb and forefinger, looked at it for a few seconds to confirm, and then put it in her bag.
The driver parked the car downstairs and waited for her. There was still more than an hour before takeoff. Her grandmother hurriedly put her in the car and told her to be careful. Liang Kongxiang smiled and waved for her to go upstairs, saying, "Come back and rest for a few days after you finish filming these two months."
Grandma watched the car drive away and sighed, but ultimately didn't ask anything.
The car sped along, and because we were blocked by fans for a while when we entered the airport, we got to our seats just as the cabin doors were about to close.
She put her bag on the table, took out her camera, and turned it on. The battery was full, but it showed no memory card. She opened the case and was about to insert a card when a sound suddenly came from the side.
"You look pretty tough," Zhang Bingjie greeted Liang Kongxiang across the narrow aisle when he saw him sitting next to him early in the morning, half-jokingly, "Xisa Port is indeed a beautiful place. I think you're planning to go back to your old ways?"
The voice startled Liang Kongxiang for two seconds. She turned her head and saw that only Zhang Bingjie was there. "Yes," she smiled faintly and raised the black camera in her hand, "I'm afraid I've become rusty since I haven't used it in so long."
“Oh,” Zhang Bingjie laughed, “you’re just too modest, not saying anything at all. If it were Jiaoming, even the old lady in the mountain village might know about it.”
Liang Kongxiang was amused by Zhang San's words, her eyes crinkling into crescents. The soft light from the small screen of the camera gently swept across her features. Zhang San clicked his tongue inwardly, thinking, "No wonder Jiang Jiaoming has been so fond of me all these years."
Thinking of Jiang Jiaoming, Zhang San casually mentioned, "The company is busy these days, and Jiaoming can't get away. He'll probably have to come in a few days."
The implication of her explanation for Jiang Jiaoming was too obvious; she was not oblivious to what he meant.
After turning off the camera, Liang Kongxiang closed the flip cover, gently placed it back on the table, leaned back, closed her eyes, and smiled, saying, "It's such a long way, isn't it troublesome?"
“Love can overcome any obstacle,” Zhang Bingjie said meaningfully. “You know his personality; once he really likes something, he’ll hold onto it for a lifetime and never let go.”
This is yet another statement with such a clear target.
Liang Kongxiang leaned back in her chair and smiled again, but didn't reply. No matter how she responded, it wouldn't be appropriate.
These past few days, Jiang Jiaoming has been busy with his new movie, running around everywhere and hasn't had time to come to the set. Liang Kongxiang's memory of him is still stuck on that wet and dark rainy day when he said, "I just want you to trust me one more time." They both understand the meaning behind those words.
Liang Kongxiang had given Jiang Jiaoming his trust many times and given him many signs of a brief resurgence, but the result was still the same.
In fact, his strong desire for control and possessiveness caused her trouble only part of the reason. Another reason was that Liang Kongxiang did not want to see him so tired, anxious, and unable to sleep at night.
In the past, he was unhappy because the group he was working with was of the opposite sex, and he asked to go with her, but Liang Kongxiang refused.
Later, Jiang Jiaoming still went, following her silently and domineeringly. Naturally, no one spoke to Liang Kongxiang, and the atmosphere during the entire shoot was very stiff.
Actually, there are quite a few similar incidents. Perhaps it was because of these incidents that Liang Kongxiang got angry with him for the first time and didn't open the door to his rented room for a whole week.
But Jiang Jiaoming was also stubborn. In the winter nights when the temperature was three or four degrees below zero, he would squat there for a whole week. When Liang Kongxiang went out to class at dawn, he would silently follow behind her like a tail.
Soon, two sets of intertwined footprints appeared on the snow, one pair slightly larger and the other smaller, intertwined and tangled, leaving a messy, uneven ground.
For several days, the two maintained this distance and relationship. One night, Liang Kongxiang woke up in the middle of the night and saw Jiang Jiaoming wearing a hat and huddled in the corner with his head down through the security camera. She couldn't see his face clearly and suspected that he had fainted, so she had to open the door to check.
The door was only slightly ajar. Liang Kongxiang stood still without making a sound, looking down at him, but he remained unmoved.
She frowned and called his name twice, but no one answered.
Liang Kongxiang pushed open the door, squatted down in front of him, and pulled his black hat back, revealing Jiang Jiaoming's flushed face. His eyes were closed, his cheeks were burning, and his lips were pale, making him look very vulnerable.
She sighed, put her hands behind her back to feel his forehead, and sure enough, he had a fever. She called out again, "...Jiang Jiaoming?"
Jiang Jiaoming wearily opened his eyes, half-closed them, glanced at her, and then closed them again. His hot breath sprayed onto Liang Kongxiang's hand as he spoke. "Didn't you say you were ignoring me?"
Liang Kongxiang frowned upon hearing this, stood up and pulled Jiang Jiaoming, "If you still want to make up, come inside with me."
Jiang Jiaoming, his hand held by Liang Kongxiang, looked up at her. Although he looked weak, he suddenly pulled her down with great force. Liang Kongxiang inevitably fell into his arms and was held tightly by him, her burning face buried in his neck.
Her face is burning hot... she must have a high fever.
Jiang Jiaoming pressed his face against her neck, his voice soft and hoarse, perhaps due to a fever: "I'm sorry."
Is this the time to apologize?
Liang Kongxiang sighed helplessly and patted his shoulder, "Let me go first, I'm burning up like this...we'll talk inside."
Jiang Jiaoming helped her inside, clinging to her and nuzzling her head against hers a couple of times. Liang Kongxiang sighed inwardly, pretending not to notice. She hung his cotton-padded coat on the hanger, told him to lie down, then found some fever reducer and gave it to him. Sitting by the bed, she asked him, "Don't you feel unwell? Why are you still squatting there?"
“I bet you’ll worry about me,” Jiang Jiaoming said forcefully, pulling her close around the waist and forcing her to lie down as well. He embraced her from the front, forehead to forehead, and asked, “Are we back together?”
Liang Kongxiang stared at that cold and sharp face, hesitating to speak. She wanted to push him away, but she was helpless against Jiang Jiaoming's humble attitude.
Having no other options, they could only remain silent.
He suddenly seemed to have a flash of inspiration and promised, "I will no longer interfere with your social life."
Liang Kongxiang didn't say anything at the time, but gently patted his back, sighed almost imperceptibly, and said, "Go to sleep."
But in reality, Jiang Jiaoming's solemn promise was something that he both fulfilled and failed to fulfill, and something that he did not fulfill but also fulfilled.
He did indeed rarely interfere directly with her social life afterward, but each time he was preoccupied, fantasizing about things that weren't actually happening, and feeling anxious and sleepless all night long, leaving her alone.
He began seeing psychologists frequently, and Liang Kongxiang discovered sleeping pills on him, realizing that he hadn't changed at all; he was just controlling his possessiveness by torturing himself.
On one occasion, they had another cold war because of jealousy and anger. Jiang Jiaoming invited a group of rich kids to go mountain racing late at night and ended up with a bloody head. Despite his miserable state, he called her on video, just to force her to take the initiative to care about him.
In the footage, the car behind him was badly damaged, its front end dented and its engine emitting heat. He sat on the winding, empty mountain road, blood streaming down his forehead, his face pale, and asked her, "You're not going to care about me anymore, are you?"
Jiang Jiaoming was so obsessed with love that Liang Kongxiang had to minimize her contact with the opposite sex to prevent him from overthinking and tormenting her again.
That person's name is Ruan Min, and he is Ruan Jiayan's older brother.
*
Ruan Min first met Liang Kongxiang on an autumn afternoon. A cool breeze was blowing; it wasn't cold, but rather refreshing.
The streets were covered with yellow leaves, and Gongtai City looked as if a sad rain of withered leaves had fallen.
It was a weekend, and he had just returned from work. His younger sister, Ruan Jiayan, had told him in advance that she was bringing friends home. As the older brother, Ruan Min took on the responsibility of taking care of them, buying a bag of popular fruits and some healthy snacks.
Upon entering the house, he found it empty. He texted his sister, saying that the fruit had been washed and placed in the refrigerator, and that he planned to return to his room to give the girl plenty of space.
Just as he was about to step onto the stairs, a girl wearing a thin white sweater and a low ponytail walked down the stairs alone. Her entire body was a soft white, as if she blended into the wall behind her.
He thought at the time that this girl was like white chalk dust; with a light stroke, fine, dense dust would fall into his body.
The square transparent glass window behind her revealed the gray autumn scene. She stood in front of autumn, her image imprinted in Ruan Min's eyes a second earlier than the red maple leaves.
Outside the window, the wind howled, yellow leaves fluttered, and the maple tree shook violently.
Liang Kongxiang was coming downstairs, pondering what time to get up tomorrow. She had originally planned to spend a couple of days with Jia Yan, but Jiang Jiaoming had booked her a flight back early tomorrow morning.
After being together for a long time, Jiang Jiaoming seemed to develop separation anxiety, which always left Liang Kongxiang feeling helpless.
At first, he frequently traveled between the school and her home. She asked him if he was tired, but Jiang Jiaoming just squinted and rubbed her swollen lips, questioning her, "Is this already annoying?"
As he spoke, he ran off to another place, and Liang Kongxiang told him not to overthink it.
This time, she said she was coming to visit Jia Yan. Jiang Jiaoming originally said he wanted to come along too, saying, "She is your best friend, and she has an obligation to accept me. If she feels unhappy about my presence, it means she doesn't love you that much."
That was utterly absurd. Liang Kongxiang had no choice but to tell him to shut up. Jiang Jiaoming then pinched her chin and kept kissing her, not letting her say anything he didn't want to hear. In the end, he gave in and asked her with a frown how long a day was, as he needed to be precise down to the hour. Then, in a domineering and authoritarian manner, he booked her the earliest flight back the next day, which took off at 6:20 a.m.
She was thinking about what time to get up the next day and planning the route and time from Jia Yan's house to the airport when she unexpectedly saw a strange man as she went down the steps.
He was wearing a black suit and holding a briefcase. He seemed taken aback when he saw her, as if he hadn't expected a strange woman to appear in his home.
Liang Kongxiang snapped out of her reverie, gave her a gentle smile, and introduced herself: "Hello, I'm Jiayan's friend."
Ruan Min was stunned. Before he could even think of the most suitable words to start his first real look at a season, Ruan Jiayan came rushing down the stairs, grabbed Liang Kongxiang, put her hands on her hips, and shouted at Ruan Min, "You audacious commoner! You've seen the princess, why don't you quickly offer her some fruit and snacks?"
Ruan Min glanced helplessly at her sister. "It's in the refrigerator." She went to the refrigerator, took out the fruit, and put it on the coffee table. When she saw her sister pulling Liang Kongxiang over, Ruan Min hesitated for a few seconds before finally deciding to go back to her room. But before she left, her sister called her back.
Ruan Jiayan nestled next to Liang Kongxiang, resting her head on her shoulder in the most comfortable position. She looked up and begged Ruan Min, then began to act pitiful, "These grapes are so hard to peel, brother, please peel them for us before you leave, I beg you, brother!"
"My own..." He said helplessly, but realized his sister never listened to him either. Resigned, he sat down on the small sofa next to him, grabbed a new glass bowl, and then found disposable gloves to carefully put the fruit pulp into the bowl, peeling it for half an hour. Perhaps eighteen minutes of that time were deliberately extended; as for the reason, Ruan Min thought, she'd think about it next time.
The glass bowl was soon piled up with about half a bowl of translucent, green grape pulp.
Liang Kongxiang wasn't used to being served by others and preferred to do things herself. She reached out to help Ruan Min peel the shells, but Ruan Jiayan saw this and said to her, "Oh, you can just let my brother peel them. We'll just focus on eating."
Although Liang Kongxiang smiled, she insisted on doing it herself. A little while later, Jiang Jiaoming called via video. Ruan Jiayan heard her phone vibrate and leaned over to ask, "Who is it?"
Upon seeing that it was Jiang Jiaoming, he got goosebumps and immediately surrendered with his hands clasped in a begging manner, shouting, "I won't ask anymore, I won't ask anymore."
She leaned back, looking like she didn't want to listen, and kept a distance. Ever since learning that Jiang Jiaoming and Liang Kongxiang were dating, Ruan Jiayan felt her worldview had been shattered. She couldn't imagine that Liang Kongxiang would actually fall for a cold and arrogant guy like Jiang Jiaoming, and she couldn't fathom how someone with Jiang Jiaoming's temperament could even be in a relationship…
Seeing Ruan Jiayan's evasive attitude, Liang Kongxiang found it amusing, but with both hands covered in sticky purple grape juice, she had no choice but to ask, "Could you help me hang it up first?"
Upon hearing "hang up," Ruan Jiayan quickly cooperated by tapping the round red icon on her phone, and the call ended with a beep: "Okay."
A while later, just as Liang Kongxiang finished peeling the shells, the phone rang again. She washed and dried her hands, then went to the window on the first floor and answered the call.
Jiang Jiaoming's handsome face was right in front of the camera, his tone somewhat displeased, "Why did you hang up the video just now? Who was next to you?"
His paranoia flared up again, leaving Liang Kongxiang feeling helpless.
"Nobody's here," she said, opening the window so the cool breeze made it easier to breathe. "What's wrong?"
"Where are you? It's so windy... Do you have an extra layer of clothing?" Jiang Jiaoming thought for a moment, "I put a coat on the top shelf of your suitcase, go put it on."
To be honest, apart from being overly possessive and controlling, Jiang Jiaoming is practically the perfect boyfriend, always taking care of her more in daily life.
“It’s not cold,” Liang Kongxiang thought Jiang Jiaoming’s worries were a bit unnecessary. “I only open the window when I feel hot indoors.”
Jiang Jiaoming's muffled voice came through the phone to Liang Kongxiang's ears again, sounding somewhat lonely, like a withered tree branch being broken by a foot: "When are you coming back?"
There seemed to be a ticking sound coming from his end, as if the window was open and he wasn't home. Liang Kongxiang realized what he meant by his question and asked with a smile, "Didn't you book the flight for me?"
“Are you stupid?” Jiang Jiaoming sat in the airport VIP lounge, numbly counting how many birds had flown over the power lines, getting more and more bored as he counted: “When are you coming back? What you mean is, why is time passing so slowly?”
“But we can’t be together 24 hours a day,” Liang Kongxiang said helplessly. “You have your life, and I have mine.”
Jiang Jiaoming didn't want to hear such words at all. He didn't understand why Liang Kongxiang could treat this relationship so rationally. After a moment of silence, he said, "I'll pick you up on time tomorrow."
"Okay." Liang Kongxiang hung up the phone.
Ruan Jiayan was enjoying the fruits of her brother and Liang Kongxiang's labor when she beckoned Liang Kongxiang to come and eat as well, asking her, "When are you going back?"
“Tomorrow morning,” Liang Kongxiang added, “the flight is at 6:20.”
"So early," Ruan Jiayan said exaggeratedly, "the birds aren't even up yet. Why don't you let my brother take you?"
The man whose name was mentioned paused for a moment, then smiled gently. "Sure, I'm also taking an early flight tomorrow morning." He then casually asked, "Where are you going?"
"Return to Songjin." Liang Kongxiang thanked him again after hearing him say that.
“That’s a coincidence, we should be on the same trip.” Ruan Min said, seemingly finding it unbelievable herself. “Let’s go together tomorrow.”
Liang Kongxiang didn't think much of it and thanked him again.
The next morning, a cold wind howled. Ruan Min helped put the suitcase in the trunk and gave Liang Kongxiang a breakfast she had prepared that morning. Liang Kongxiang took it; the fresh sandwich was wrapped in plastic wrap. She smiled and praised, "It looks delicious."
"It should taste pretty good too," Ruan Min joked.
The two were not close on the plane. Jiang Jiaoming booked a first-class seat for Liang Kongxiang, who sat alone. When they got off the plane, Ruan Min waited for her outside the cabin. The two went to get their luggage together. Ruan Min was used to helping Ruan Jiayan with chores, so she took Liang Kongxiang's suitcase and helped her pull it.
Liang Kongxiang wasn't used to having others handle her problems, so she smiled and took the tools back from Ruan Min, saying, "I can do it myself."
Polite distance.
Ruan Min realized her mistake and apologized, saying, "I'm just used to helping Jia Yan carry things."
Liang Kongxiang expressed her understanding, and smiled as she thought about how she always subconsciously helped Jia Yan solve her problems when she met her.
Just as he was about to say something, he suddenly saw Jiang Jiaoming standing a few steps away.
He stood expressionless with his hands in his coat pockets, glanced at Liang Kongxiang, then at the man beside her, and finally stared directly at Liang Kongxiang's face again.
Ruan Min noticed the tall man's gaze and sensed his almost offensive look. She frowned slightly, subtly shifted her position, and stood to Liang Kongxiang's right, blocking Jiang Jiaoming's gaze.
"Why are you here so early?"
Suddenly hearing Liang Kongxiang speak, Ruan Min was taken aback. Following her gaze, she looked at the boy with a cold expression, met his gaze calmly, and heard him say indifferently, "I came because I missed you."
He then naturally took the luggage from Liang Kongxiang, intertwined his fingers with hers, turned his head to stare at Ruan Min expressionlessly, and asked, "Aren't you going to introduce me?"
His tone was icy. Liang Kongxiang sensed something, glanced helplessly at Jiang Jiaoming, and then introduced him to Ruan Min first: "This is my boyfriend, Jiang Jiaoming."
Then he introduced Jiang Jiaoming: "This is Jia Yan's older brother, Ruan Min."
Ruan Min was stared at by the tall man beside him with an appraising gaze. Since they were both men, they could tell what the other was thinking just by looking at each other. He pretended not to notice and smiled as he extended his hand: "Hello."
At that moment, Jiang Jiaoming had already displayed the demeanor of someone in a superior position, staring into his eyes and shaking hands for a second.
Seeing that he didn't react, Liang Kongxiang loosened her grip on his hand for a moment, but Jiang Jiaoming immediately tightened his grip again. Then she realized that this was a sign that a storm was brewing.
Just as the group was about to part ways at the exit, Ruan Min noticed that Liang Kongxiang seemed weak and looked haggard. After hesitating for a few seconds, she still asked with concern, "Don't forget to eat breakfast."
Liang Kongxiang knew he was referring to sandwiches, smiled faintly and nodded, saying politely, "Let's have dinner together sometime."
“Okay,” Ruan Min said, “See you next time.”
Jiang Jiaoming tightened his grip on Liang Kongxiang's arm, his gaze turned cold, and he turned his head to stare at her.
The hand that Jiang Jiaoming was holding left several white marks, which then immediately turned red.
She didn't look at Jiang Jiaoming, her expression remained unchanged, and she still smiled as she replied to Ruan Min, "Okay."
Jiang Jiaoming opened the car door for her without saying a word. After getting in the car, he tried to hold Liang Kongxiang's hand, but she dodged away. Jiang Jiaoming ignored her and forcibly pulled her hand over, pried open her fingers, and squeezed his own fingers in to hold hers.
After a while, Liang Kongxiang asked him coldly, "Aren't you going to let go?"
Jiang Jiaoming didn't let go, but glanced at the unfinished sandwich in her bag. It was obviously made by him. Then he thought of Ruan Min and released Liang Kongxiang, gripping the steering wheel and sneer, "It looks disgusting enough."
"I don't want to argue." Liang Kongxiang closed her eyes and leaned back in the passenger seat to rest. She had gotten up early to rush back that morning and was already exhausted. Arguing with Jiang Jiaoming now would only make her miserable.
Seeing Liang Kongxiang leaning wearily against the wall, Jiang Jiaoming suppressed his displeasure and sped up to drive home. As soon as he opened the door and put down his luggage, he pressed down on Liang Kongxiang and kissed him urgently, as if to vent and confirm something.
He kissed her forcefully, stirring her mouth, but Liang Kongxiang remained unmoved during the kiss. No matter how Jiang Jiaoming tempted her with his lips and tongue, she was like a puppet, only being led by him. When he stopped, she stopped too.
Jiang Jiaoming had never felt so frustrated in his life. He stopped catching his breath, forcefully wiping the saliva from Liang Kongxiang's lips with his thumb, and spoke in a slightly hoarse voice: "He's interested in you, can't you tell?"
Liang Kongxiang found it absurd, "We've only known each other for less than 24 hours."
"There's something wrong with the way he looks at you!" Jiang Jiaoming shouted. Liang Kongxiang closed her eyes in disappointment and turned her head away. Jiang Jiaoming pinched her chin and forced her to look at him directly: "It has nothing to do with knowing you for a few hours. Liking you is something that happens in an instant!"
There was simply no way to communicate with him. Liang Kongxiang pushed him away and said in a flat tone, "You're overthinking it."
Jiang Jiaoming held her waist, not letting her go, and said maliciously, "Are you going to see each other again? When is the next time? If we meet twice more, can I attend your wedding?"
“Jiang Jiaoming,” Liang Kongxiang looked at him coldly, her tone calm: “People must be responsible for their words and deeds.”
The small room, on the verge of exploding, fell into a brief silence.
Jiang Jiaoming shut his mouth, finally released her, and took two steps back.
He spoke after a few seconds, his voice slightly tense: "I'm sorry."
Liang Kongxiang glanced at him, didn't respond, and pushed her suitcase back into the room. Jiang Jiaoming, with Liang Kongxiang's bag still hanging from his hand, followed her into the room.
He knew he had said the wrong thing, and even if he was angry, he shouldn't have implied that Liang Kongxiang was having an affair. But when he thought of Ruan Min's eyes and their promise to "see you next time," he couldn't help but hold a grudge, even though he knew it might just be Liang Kongxiang being polite.
What gives that guy named Ruan Min the right? What makes him think he can get Liang Kongxiang to agree to "see you next time"? What would a lone man and woman talk about if they met?
Liang Kongxiang is indifferent to everything, but she will only allow someone to enter her life if she has feelings for them.
So why did she agree?
The argument ended inconclusively again. Jiang Jiaoming considered throwing the remaining half of the sandwich into the trash can, but worried that Liang Kongxiang would be angry at him for wasting food, so he simply sat on the living room sofa, unwrapped the plastic wrap, and started eating it heartily.
This doesn't taste very good either, so why is Liang Kongxiang so protective of him? And why is she even angry with him for his sake?
With only one bite left, Liang Kongxiang suddenly came out of the room, holding a cup as if to get water. As soon as she came out, she saw Jiang Jiaoming sitting on the sofa eating a sandwich. She was stunned for a moment, but didn't say anything and went straight to the water dispenser.
Jiang Jiaoming threw away the plastic wrap, still clutching a small piece of bread in his hand, and said in a very harsh tone, "I just don't want you to eat what he makes." He then added a disparaging remark, "It's not as good as what I make."
Since Jiang Jiaoming had offered a way out, Liang Kongxiang didn't want to continue the cold war with him. Standing in front of the water dispenser, she nodded in agreement and then handed him a cup of hot water, saying, "Nothing to do, just have some hot water."
The water was at the perfect temperature. Jiang Jiaoming still had the half-eaten, dry piece of bread between his thumb and forefinger, and his other hand was casually resting on his thigh. He didn't reach for the water glass, but took a sip from Liang Kongxiang's hand, staring at her as he drank.
Liang Kongxiang also looked at him and touched the back of his neck, which was a sign that their relationship had eased.
Jiang Jiaoming grabbed her wrist, pulled her onto his lap, put his arm around her waist, buried his face in her chest, took a deep breath, and began to apologize again, this time much more sincerely, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You will only marry me."
Liang Kongxiang originally wanted to joke and say "that's not necessarily true," but thinking that Jiang Jiaoming probably couldn't stand such words at this moment, she ultimately didn't provoke him. She just sighed helplessly, "When will you finally understand that I truly love you?"
“You know I’m terrible at this, so you have to keep reminding me,” Jiang Jiaoming touched her face, “you know that?”
“I think we should have a serious talk. It’s exhausting to keep doing this every time,” Liang Kongxiang said. “Can you tell me how I can make you feel more secure?”
Jiang Jiaoming couldn't bring himself to say the truth. He just wanted Liang Kongxiang's gaze to always be fixed on him. Occasionally, he would have perverse thoughts, wanting to lock her in a house, making her rely solely on him, and not let her go anywhere or see anyone else.
However, this idea was disrespectful to Liang Kongxiang's personality, and Jiang Jiaoming didn't want her to be disappointed and saddened again, so he didn't say it out loud.
Hearing his silence, Liang Kongxiang continued, "If I really worked in film and television, I would only come into contact with more people. Would you have to do this every time?"
If it wasn't Ruan Min, sooner or later someone else would have put them in trouble again.
Jiang Jiaoming hesitated to speak, because he couldn't answer Liang Kongxiang's question either. At that moment, he desperately wished that a time machine really existed, so that his future self could teach him to speak, instead of holding Liang Kongxiang in silence, making her feel increasingly suffocated.
Like lake water engulfing her mouth and nose, a couple of splashes only made her drown faster.
They just dragged it out and waited.
Later, Liang Kongxiang and her classmates formed a small team to shoot a short film. The sponsor that the team members brought in was Ruan Min. When the two met, they were both stunned for a moment, and then they had a meal together.
She observed Ruan Min's actions but found nothing out of line, confirming that "interesting" was just Jiang Jiaoming's fantasy. However, that evening she still mentioned to Jiang Jiaoming that Ruan Min was a sponsor. Unexpectedly, Jiang Jiaoming remained silent, neither questioning nor mocking her.
She thought that after the last time, Jiang Jiaoming might really be trying to trust her and trust this relationship, but when she woke up in the middle of the night, she suddenly found that Jiang Jiaoming was not by her side.
She touched the empty sheets, lay quietly on the bed for a while, staring at the dark, empty ceiling, feeling aches all over her body. Then she got out of bed and pushed open the balcony door.
Jiang Jiaoming's preoccupied figure appeared thin and fragile in the night. He slowly turned around after hearing the door open.
Across the dimly lit balcony corridor, the two shared another unspoken silence.
Because no one wanted to argue, no one spoke first. They both knew that once they opened their mouths, things would inevitably spiral out of control.
That evening, one person sat on the balcony watching the sky gradually lighten, while the other sat on the bed looking at the balcony door that would never be opened again.
As dawn broke, the two pretended that there were no problems in their relationship, no arguments, and no cold war. However, just before leaving, Jiang Jiaoming seemed to have forgotten to kiss her.
Liang Kongxiang sat at the dining table in the living room, looking at the warm white porridge. The thick porridge was served in a white porcelain bowl, steaming hot.
She gradually felt that she couldn't see anything clearly.
The short film was shot for a week. Ruan Min's colleagues often invited him over to play and arranged for him to play an extra role. Ruan Min is easy-going and got to experience what it's like to act.
He seemed a little lost on set with his character's lines in hand. When people teased him, he just smiled helplessly and said, "Stop joking with me."
On the night the filming wrapped up, everyone relaxed after the past few days and went out for a barbecue.
Ruan Min and Liang Kongxiang sat next to each other. Someone glanced at them while flipping the grilled meat and joked that they looked good together. Ruan Min smiled and explained, "Kongxiang has a boyfriend."
"He's just a boyfriend, not a marriage prospect." Whether the guy was trying to win Ruan Min over or not, he pried open a beer bottle, the cap flying off and foam spilling out. He shoved it into the glass, filling it to the brim, and winked jokingly, "Ruan-ge, this is a steal, isn't it?"
The two people mentioned exchanged a glance in the hot wind. Liang Kongxiang's expression was indifferent, but Ruan Min's heart sank, as if she had missed a step while climbing stairs.
He instinctively reached for the armrest of the chair, but for some reason, he didn't say the words of help.
He's just a boyfriend, not someone I'm going to marry.
The meal lasted until almost midnight, and Liang Kongxiang hadn't received any text messages from Jiang Jiaoming urging her to hurry up. She glanced at her phone; it was 11:40, and the message screen was empty.
Ruan Min noticed that she wanted to leave, so after paying the bill, she said, "I think everyone has almost finished eating. It's not safe to be so late. Don't you have a curfew?"
"Our dorm is on the first floor, easy to climb." Someone joked, but understood that Ruan Min meant it was over, so they went along with it. "But I am indeed a little sleepy, let's go."
Men and women got up one after another. Liang Kongxiang was the last to leave. She sat there, editing and trying out several different text messages, and finally only left the four words "I'll be right back." After sending the message, she turned on her phone's ringtone before leaving.
Ruan Min followed behind her.
As night fell, small neon lights twinkled around the trees at both ends of the street, their red and yellow hues flashing intermittently.
Hearing the footsteps catching up, Liang Kongxiang turned around and joked, "No need to see me off, I'm not far away. My boyfriend will get jealous if he sees me."
Upon hearing this, Ruan Min quickened her pace to walk alongside her, and said jokingly, "Mature guys wouldn't be jealous, right?"
He meant that Jiang Jiaoming was too naive, and Liang Kongxiang understood perfectly. She politely replied, "It's because you're too outstanding that anyone would overthink things."
“You’re great too, so you don’t have to force yourself to keep going when you’re unhappy,” Ruan Min said meaningfully.
The direction is too obvious.
“Brother Ruan Min, you’ve crossed the line.” Liang Kongxiang turned her head, and although she was smiling, Ruan Min could hear her displeasure.
“…I’m sorry.” Ruan Min was stunned for a moment, feeling annoyed. Just as she was about to say something to make amends, she felt a strong gaze fixed on her.
Looking up, I saw a boy standing on the balcony upstairs, his arms crossed and supporting himself on the balcony, his broad shoulders slightly shrugged, staring coldly down at me.
He's Liang Kongxiang's boyfriend.
Ruan Min slowed her pace and calmly looked back.
Liang Kongxiang didn't notice his change, assuming he was a smart man who knew when to stop. Besides, her mind wasn't on him. She paused at the door, then suddenly received a text message from Jiang Jiaoming.
The key was inserted into the slit and turned once; the door opened.
Liang Kongxiang hung her bag behind the door. The living room was dark. Jiang Jiaoming sat on the sofa without turning on the lights, staring at the TV screen in front of him, which was not even turned on. His voice was indifferent: "You're back?"
"Hmm, why aren't the lights on?"
Liang Kongxiang walked over, sat on Jiang Jiaoming's lap, and kissed his lips.
Jiang Jiaoming didn't return the kiss, but instead placed his hands on her lower back and asked, "Is it good?"
“All barbecue taste the same,” Liang Kongxiang smiled. “I can’t tell the difference.”
"Go take a shower," Jiang Jiaoming patted Liang Kongxiang's waist. "Go to sleep early."
As soon as she entered the bathroom, Jiang Jiaoming, who was on the sofa, opened the door and came downstairs.
As expected, Ruan Min was waiting there, calmly watching Jiang Jiaoming come down from the edge of the bushes. Her first words hit Jiang Jiaoming's sore spot: "I know you figured it out."
"So?" He walked slowly towards Ruan Min as she approached.
Jiang Jiaoming only adopted a humble attitude when facing Liang Kongxiang; otherwise, he always acted like he was the best in the world. His tone and expression were very irritating, and it was impossible to tell that such a person would be constantly anxious about gains and losses because of feelings. It was also difficult to understand what someone as rich, powerful, and good-looking as him was anxious about.
In fact, Liang Kongxiang also thought the same way. Sometimes she wondered if she was such a bad lover that Jiang Jiaoming was always so insecure.
Ruan Min could understand Jiang Jiaoming's personality. The more he valued something, the more anxious and insecure he became about losing it, ultimately leaving both of them trapped in his emotions and wounded. He and Liang Kongxiang were simply not compatible. One was free-spirited and independent but not good at expressing himself, while the other had a strong desire for control and possession. For them to be compatible, one of them would always have to make way for the other. However, both traits were inherent in each other, and no one could easily and effortlessly change them completely.
So it's always like this: two people in love always compromise for each other, and end up getting hurt together.
Ruan Min didn't need to say much; Jiang Jiaoming knew what he was thinking and didn't want to waste any more words with him. He warned him to stay away from Liang Kongxiang: "She won't like you."
"Feelings are unpredictable and change in an instant," Ruan Min rarely retorted.
“She’s shameless,” Jiang Jiaoming sneered, “eager to become a mistress.”
These words made Ruan Min's face turn ugly for a moment. "He's just a boyfriend, we're not married yet." He seemed certain of something, his tone calm: "You and Liang Kongxiang will break up, you two are simply not suitable for each other."
"What do you want to say?" Jiang Jiaoming took two steps forward, his expressionless face exuding an imposing aura: "Do you want to say you're suitable?"
Before he could finish speaking, Jiang Jiaoming punched him hard in the face. He had studied Sanda (Chinese kickboxing) since elementary school, and his strength was no joke.
Ruan Min was knocked over and crashed into a tree. His head was spinning, and the smell of blood immediately came out of his mouth. His chest heaved, and he groped the tree trunk to support his dizzy body. He bent down slightly and looked at Jiang Jiaoming who was getting closer and closer.
This pretty boy is so weak, he can't withstand a single punch.
Jiang Jiaoming bent over, about to say something, when Ruan Min kicked him hard in the groin. Jiang Jiaoming was caught off guard, and the pain made his mind go blank for a moment, and cold sweat broke out.
The two of them started fighting as if some kind of balance had been broken. It wasn't even about feelings anymore; it was just them venting their frustrations with each other.
Jiang Jiaoming's head was grabbed by Ruan Min and slammed against the tree trunk repeatedly.
Ruan Min was struck in the chest by Jiang Jiaoming's elbow again. The pain caused Jiang Jiaoming to loosen his grip, and Jiang Jiaoming seized the opportunity to take the initiative. He kicked Ruan Min hard, sending him flying into the dark bushes. Ruan Min landed on the back of his head and hit the cold, hard cement of the flower bed.
His mind went blank and he saw stars. Before he could recover, Jiang Jiaoming swung his fist and punched him hard in the face. The back of his head scraped against the ground and hit the ground repeatedly. His knuckles seemed to hit something, and he was in so much pain that he couldn't feel anything.
Jiang Jiaoming wasn't much better off; his whole body ached, but he was in much better shape than Ruan Min, who was bleeding from a head wound.
In the end, both of them lay exhausted on the edge of the grass, panting heavily. The smell of blood permeated the air, and the heat mixed with the smell of rust spread into the darkness of the mid-May night.
As the night grew cooler, a sound pierced the silence.
"Jiang Jiaoming".
Jiang Jiaoming sat up abruptly, bracing himself against the cold, hard cement floor with his hands. His muscles ached and trembled as they could not support his tall frame.
Liang Kongxiang was already standing at the top of the stairs, wearing pajamas, her hair still wet and dripping, draped over her back. Her back was soaked with cold water, which ran down her waist and clung to her skin. A gust of wind made her feel chilled to the bone.
But she seemed oblivious, standing still as she dialed 120. After calling his name once, she didn't look at him again. After hanging up, she turned and walked to Ruan Min, who was barely alive beside him, squatted down, and said in a gentle voice that she only used to speak to herself, "I'm sorry."
Jiang Jiaoming felt as if he had been electrocuted from head to toe. Although it was May, he felt as if he had fallen into an ice cave.
He knew this time was different. Something was drifting further and further away with the reckless slam of his fist, just like Liang Kongxiang's hand that hadn't reached out to him first.
He was categorized into a different group by Liang Kongxiang.
Jiang Jiaoming doesn't remember how he got on the bus or how he fell asleep, because he always thought he hadn't closed his eyes at all from beginning to end.
The buzzing of the ambulance siren in his ears gave him a splitting headache. He gradually lost his ability to hear anything clearly, and suddenly felt a ringing in his ears. After a long "buzz," his world went blank, and then he could only hear the even sound of dripping water.
As Jiang Jiaoming inhaled the stench of disinfectant, he half-opened his eyelids.
Liang Kongxiang sat by the hospital bed. She looked haggard and stared blankly at Jiang Jiaoming's face. Even when he opened his eyes, her expression didn't change. She only asked indifferently, "Are you alright?"
Jiang Jiaoming's throat felt like it was being pulled back by a thin steel wire with countless sharp silver hooks hanging from it. He said with difficulty, "It hurts a little from his beating."
Rain began to fall outside the window, the large raindrops pattering muffledly through the glass. The ward window faced a tall mimosa tree, its branches densely covered with pink blossoms, swaying precariously in the wind.
The wind howled and the rain lashed against the windows.
"Jiang Jiaoming, let's break up."
Over the years, although Liang Kongxiang was occasionally angry with him, she never said the word "break up." Most of the time, she would say "make up," which meant that they were just arguing because they both knew that they loved each other very much. Even if there were frictions, they were all happening in order to be together in a better way.
This was the first time Liang Kongxiang had said "break up" to Jiang Jiaoming.
"Have you thought it through?" The pain throughout his body seemed to turn inside out. What was originally just skin and flesh ached, but now it was shooting straight into his internal organs. He felt a chill in his toes, and then his heart and lungs felt like they were filled with water, making it almost impossible to breathe. Jiang Jiaoming asked her softly, "Have you thought it through? Are you sure you want to give me up because of him?"
“It wasn’t because of him.” Liang Kongxiang felt that Jiang Jiaoming still didn’t understand that she broke up with him because of Ruan Min at all.
Liang Kongxiang had always felt that if it wasn't Ruan Min, it would have been someone else or something else that caused their irreconcilable conflict.
The most important qualities in love include understanding, support, and loyalty, but trust is even more crucial. If the slightest disturbance destabilizes the relationship, then it is not a suitable one.
All relationships that cause pain should be severed as much as possible. She once firmly believed in this statement and always acted accordingly. Only Jiang Jiaoming made her hesitate so much, repeatedly doubting herself while hoping that he would change.
“I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, or something else…” Liang Kongxiang was truly puzzled, and she didn’t know who to ask. “Why can’t you understand that I won’t fall in love with someone else? I don’t know if I have a problem with my communication skills, which makes you unable to trust me and always think I will cheat on you. But do you know? Every time you give me the psychological suggestion that I will cheat, I also feel mental pressure…”
“I saw you always wanting to look at my phone but worried I'd be angry, so you had to hold back. Knowing I was meeting Ruan Min the next day, you couldn't sleep all night,” Liang Kongxiang said, tears streaming down her face, dripping from her chin onto the blue and white striped blanket on the hospital bed, soaking it. She rarely cried, but Jiang Jiaoming was too weak to lift his hand to wipe her tears, and could only listen quietly as she spoke: “Every time I see these things, I think to myself, I'm such a failed lover. Why do my loved ones and those who love me suffer so much because of me? I don't understand…”
Only now did Liang Kongxiang realize how many questions she had, how many things she wanted to say. "Is love really like this? Jiang Jiaoming, are you really happy with me? Did we originally come together with expectations for this situation?"
Jiang Jiaoming remained silent.
"Let's break up," Liang Kongxiang said, closing her eyes as two more tears streamed down her face. She took a deep breath and looked at him sincerely, saying, "I wish you freedom."
At that moment, more than guilt, he felt resentment towards Liang Kongxiang. Jiang Jiaoming simply couldn't accept Liang Kongxiang's words about "breaking up," even if they reconciled, even if Liang Kongxiang turned around and said she regretted it, Jiang Jiaoming still felt she was unforgivable. That one second of giving up meant that every time Jiang Jiaoming thought of her afterward, it would cause him an extra second of pain.
He had weighed his feelings for Liang Kongxiang for a long time. He thought he understood her, but he always felt that the love she gave him was illusory. After testing her repeatedly, he decided to stay away from her.
However, the longing and pain he felt after graduation overwhelmed his rationality, so on that snowy night he chose to let go of the habitual thinking of the past eighteen years and ran to a convenience store forty kilometers away, where he finally experienced his first snowy night together and fell asleep in each other's arms.
But in the end, it ended up with both sides suffering heavy losses.
After closing the door, Liang Kongxiang stood with her back to the ward for a while, then walked towards the window at the end of the corridor, holding onto the auxiliary railing.
There were raindrops on the glass, and her pale face was reflected on them, making it impossible to tell which droplets were rain and which were tears.
Ruan Min's medical examination revealed a fractured right leg, a fractured finger bone, and a concussion. After paying the fees, Liang Kongxiang called Ruan Jiayan.
Ruan Jiayan rushed over from Gongtai City, burst into tears, ran to Jiang Jiaoming's hospital bed, and punched him in the face. He looked at Ruan Jiayan expressionlessly and said, "Is one punch not enough to vent your anger?"
In an instant, Ruan Jiayan's anger was reignited, and she roared as she tried to kick the hospital bed, but Liang Kongxiang stopped her by holding her.
Ruan Jiayan was like a furious little beast, crying so hard she could barely breathe. She pushed Liang Kongxiang and went outside the ward to contact a lawyer to sue Jiang Jiaoming.
After this incident, although Ruan Jiayan did not speak ill of her, she began to distance herself from her.
The heavy rain lasted for a week, and the tall buildings were shrouded in the cold, wet rain. There was constant thunder at that time. She sat on the balcony with her knees drawn up to her chest, lost in thought. She thought that cutting off the entanglement would bring her a sense of relief, but she didn't expect this blow to be like hitting a swamp.
The harder you try, the deeper you sink.
Liang Kongxiang's friendships and love gradually subsided after the rain.
The old stories have drifted away with the wind, and over the years they have solidified into stalactites. As time has passed, Liang Kongxiang has found that they have become increasingly sharp.
During this time, she and Jiang Jiaoming became entangled in an uncontrollable conflict, but she remained full of doubts about this unknown relationship.
If they were to do it again, would they repeat the same mistakes or learn from them? Nobody knows.
The camera with the memory card inserted is stuck on a photo from five years ago. Jiang Jiaoming is wearing a camel-colored sweater, sitting by the window of a coffee shop, holding a porcelain white coffee cup in his hand, and turning his head to look at the bustling street.
It was an ordinary late autumn evening. They went out on a date as usual. Liang Kongxiang used him as a model to practice taking pictures. They went to a street full of ginkgo leaves. He opened his coat and hugged her, then lowered his head to kiss her.
Liang Kongxiang remembered him smiling as he cupped her face in his hands, saying, "Actually, I don't like Songjin City."
"But I have a little home with you here, and my love has landed here."
Although she has been busy these past few years, Liang Kongxiang sometimes feels overwhelmed by loneliness. She feels that the world is vast but she has nowhere to go. It seems that no matter how much she thinks, she can only think of the same face.
Their past, the pain, is real.
But so does happiness.
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Author's Note: Sigh... Cheer up, friends who are feeling down, because the ambiguous romance chapter is about to begin, hehe. Will this long chapter yield any nutrient solution? [pity]
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