0095 104 If Heaven Had Feelings, Heaven Would Grow Old
Ye Rouxin died in the way he himself despised. He had never been tainted by sexual desire or lust throughout his life, living a life of innocence. Yet, in the end, he was injected with an overdose of drugs and died in a woman's bed.
In the moment before he died, his pupils dilated several times over, and he experienced the ultimate joy in life.
But this is not what he wanted.
His heart pounded harder and harder, feeling like it would leap out of his chest. Even in death, he never revealed the whereabouts of that document. The document he sent to Zhou Xiye was small; the other document, containing a huge secret, was well-protected.
Two days after his death, the information was sent directly to Zhou Xiye's email address.
I'm sorry to her, this matter originally had nothing to do with her. But he's dead, and the only person who can continue his work is Zhou Xiye.
With a special government visa, Zhou Xiye set foot on Parisian soil for the first time.
The morning air was bleak and chilly, the sky a dull gray, and there were few cars in front of the Arc de Triomphe. The driver drove silently, while Zhou Xiye wore enormous sunglasses. She still couldn't believe Ye Rouxin was dead, until a mysterious letter appeared in her inbox.
Their usual password, and the information inside, surprised her greatly.
After sending out this document, Zhou Xiye rationally concluded that she was almost 100% certain that Ye Rouxin was dead. But she still held onto a sliver of hope that his departure was fake, his death was fake, and that she wouldn't see his body.
He followed the man in the black suit inside, his shoes crunching on the soft carpet. After walking for a long time, passing through door after door, he finally stopped.
"Ms. Zhou, Ye Rouxin is waiting for you inside."
The man spoke in French, which Zhou Xiye understood. He nodded and went inside.
What does that mean? Zhou Xiye thought about it carefully. Could it be that he didn't die? With that thought, the corners of his mouth curved up. He took a few quick steps and entered the house. Zhou Xiye saw a wooden coffin, but there was no one in the house.
Zhou Xiye slowed her pace, walking cautiously towards them. She slowed her breathing, afraid of missing any details.
As Zhou Xiye approached the coffin, he saw Ye Rouxin, a slight smile playing on her lips. Her hand rested on the coffin, as if waiting for something.
She waited for Ye Rouxin to sit up, which startled her. She waited and waited, but Ye Rouxin didn't sit up.
Zhou Xiye carefully walked to the head of the coffin, reached out and poked his face, and said softly, "Stop pretending, get up, there's no point in pretending to be dead."
Ye Rouxin squinted and lay calmly in the coffin.
Zhou Xiye's eyes reddened; she still didn't believe it. She placed her hand under Ye Rouxin's nose, but there was no breathing. Zhou Xiye waited for a long time. "Why aren't you breathing? Aren't you tired of pretending for so long?"
Ye Rouxin couldn't refute her, lying quietly with a smile. Tears fell from Zhou Xiye's eyes, landing on Ye Rouxin's face, sliding down his cheek, and disappearing into the coffin.
He really died.
The idea entered her mind like a dream, and she couldn't accept it.
Zhou Xiye wanted to help Ye Rouxin up, to make him open his eyes and stop pretending. But she had no strength; sorrow permeated every cell of her body. Not having strength didn't matter; Zhou Xiye wanted to climb into the coffin, but the person behind her pulled her back.
Those people were saying something in French, and Zhou Xiye's tears flowed uncontrollably. "Don't pull me, I want to wake him up. That bastard Ye Rouxin, what is she pretending for? She's been playing around her whole life, why is she pretending to be dead now?"
There was no echo inside.
“Speak up! Ye Rouxin, speak up!!” Zhou Xiye shouted, but only her own voice echoed back.
He's dead, he's dead. What does that word mean?
Zhou Xiye slowly slumped to the ground, signifying that Ye Rouxin no longer existed in this world. No one would chat with her anymore, and no one would bother her in the summer. From then on, all memories of Ye Rouxin ended there.
A name is nothing, but behind that name is a living person, a memory, and a person's life.
She dared not think about it further.
"Are you Ye Rouxin's family member? There is a document here that you need to sign. After you sign it, you can take him away."
Zhou Xiye's hands trembled as she took the document, which was covered in dense letters. Then she was helped up and handed a tissue. She took it and wiped her face haphazardly. "Please take a good look at this document before you sign it."
A Chinese person reminded her.
Zhou Xiye nodded, looking at the letters on the document.
"Ye Rouxin, male, Chinese, 30 years old, died from a drug overdose..."
As she read line after line, Zhou Xiye's brows furrowed deeper and deeper. Only after reading the last word did she raise her head and look at the person in front of her. "What do you mean? His cause of death was drug use? He didn't use drugs, and he was asexual. How could he have sex with a woman?"
Those present simply shook their heads.
The embassy official then said, "You've come to take him home..."
Zhou Xiye shook his head, "Going home shouldn't be for such a shameful reason. I want to change the cause of death."
"This is after forensic examination and autopsy..."
Unable to contain his emotions, Zhou Xiye grabbed the embassy official's collar, saying, "He can't die like this. He certainly didn't die like this. This is a disgrace."
"General Manager Ye said that we should just bring him back to China and report the cause of death truthfully..."
Hearing this, Zhou Xiye slowly loosened his grip. Looking at Ye Rouxin lying peacefully in the coffin in the distance, Zhou Xiye suddenly threw his head back and laughed. Is this how he should die? Zhou Xiye had always felt that he shouldn't have sacrificed himself like this. He should have died amidst the cheers of the crowd, not in a woman's bed.
He's not that kind of person.
Who understands him? Zhou Xiye smiled, tears streaming down her face. His family treated him this way. Why didn't Ye Lifeng come to pick him up personally? Did he think Ye Rouxin had embarrassed him? Or did he think Ye Rouxin wasn't worthy of his presence?
What exactly is she fighting for?
Why did Ye Rouxin die? Political struggles are cruel and brutal. Only when the knife fell on Ye Rouxin did Zhou Xiye truly realize his own insignificance and helplessness. Even someone as powerful as Ye Rouxin died an unexplained death.
Zhou Xiye sighed, his smile fading. Not wanting to look at the text, he quickly signed the document and tossed it to someone nearby.
Then, she walked to Ye Rouxin's coffin again, squatted down, and leaned against it. Just like when she was drunk and leaned on his shoulder, she closed her eyes.
The warm clouds and blue winds from my memory all drift over.
"I might... never be able to go back..."
"Busy, huh? Well, I have to give you a few words of advice. It's fine to love your work, but look at all those grand achievements that come and go, all vanishing in the blink of an eye. Yes, you think it's worth it, but look at yourself now, are you happy? The point of life is to be happy. It's so late, and you're still busy..."
"It's okay, it's okay... Oh, right, you have to remember, we haven't made love yet."
Zhou Xiye raised his hand and slapped himself across the face, burying his head in his fingers and wailing loudly.
She cried, breathless, like a child.
After completing the formalities, Zhou Xiye boarded a plane back to China with Ye Rouxin in a private car. Despite objections, she insisted on sitting next to Ye Rouxin's coffin. She had promised him so many things, but hadn't kept them all, like going to eat at a street food stall together.
Make love together.
Let's read together.
Let's discuss Shakespeare together.
Zhou Xiye carefully recalled what they had done, thinking about the next time. There would definitely be another opportunity; they were still young.
Ye Rouxin often talks nonsense when he's drunk. He once said that his favorite book is Kerouac's "On the Road," which he described as "forever young, forever with tears in his eyes."
That summer, Ye Rouxin lay on her lap, her hand making a gun gesture, placed on her temple.
"Comrade Zhou Xiye, I'm going to fight life to the death for a few more years. Either I'll perish, or I'm destined to achieve greatness. If one day you find me bowing down to mediocrity, then fire at me!"
Zhou Xiye buried his head between his knees, and the summer filled with bubbles in his memory was gone.
As soon as the plane landed, Zhou Xiye saw Ye Lifeng's car waiting in the distance at the airport.
She gave a mocking smile.
He watched as Ye Rouxin's coffin was loaded onto the car and drove away.
The wind blew her black hair, making it flutter in the air.
Comrade Ye Rouxin, from this moment on, I will carry on your last wish: I too will fight life to the death for several years, either I will perish or I will achieve brilliance. If one day you find me bowing my head to mediocrity, please fire upon me.
Zhou Xiye didn't stop, turned around and walked towards the plane behind him without the slightest hesitation.
She wanted to keep flying forward.
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