25 "Anyway, don't even think about getting rid of me in this life."
Tao Wanjia fell silent, which was unusual for him. He was unable to give a definite answer until Huang Zheng fell into a deep sleep.
He Yu had been by her side these past few days, caring for her every step of the way. This ordeal had not only cleared up any misunderstandings between them, but had also lowered her guard. His feigned indifference was all due to hardship, and his words at her bedside were deeply moving. Tao Wanjia also expressed genuine regret for the years they had missed together.
But when I calm down and think about it, I feel that this shouldn’t be the case.
She wouldn't stay in Velvet City for too long. This beautiful bubble would burst if it was touched by reality. She couldn't give him any promises or meet his expectations, so it was better to end it right here.
The good things in the past stayed in the past, and what about the future? She considered herself a person without a future, so she decided not to drag him into this mess.
Tao Wanjia quietly closed the door and went out. As soon as he reached the stairs, he saw He Yu standing in the corridor on the second floor.
He was in his pajamas, having obviously washed up.
"You scared me," Tao Wanjia said, his thoughts disrupted. He grabbed the handrail and slowly walked up. "Why aren't you asleep yet?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I went out for a walk."
He Yu answered softly, his voice tired and obvious.
The empty corridor was perfect for conversation, and she reorganized what she had just thought.
"You've been very tired these days. I won't bother you for too long. I'll find a new place to live later—"
"What are you talking about in your sleep so late at night?" He Yu frowned and interrupted her, "What do you mean by yours or mine? What I said to you that day——"
"I'll pretend I didn't hear what you said to me that day."
Tao Wanjia took over his words before he could. She looked at him seriously under the cold light.
"He Yu, I actually don't like this place at all. I don't like the steel mill, nor do I like this perpetually gray land. But you know what? It was you who made me feel another color in the past that was so painful for me. You taught me to bravely try everything I wanted to do, and you showed me the world outside. I like you, and I'm grateful to you."
She avoided his gaze and lowered her voice, "But that was all in the past. I know you were hurt because of me. In that situation, anything you said is understandable. I won't take it seriously. Let the past be the past. Not all regrets in life need to be made up for."
She didn't know how many times she would face such dangers in the future, but these were all her own choices. She had been accustomed to walking in the darkness for so many years and had never been afraid of death. Life was already very exciting for her, and apart from He Yu, she had no regrets.
The night was as dark as ink, and He Yu's heart sank as he heard these words.
Listen to the words she used: past, regret.
Did she think that in his heart the beautiful past between them was just something that could be thrown away like a child playing house?
If it were before, he would have definitely retorted her word for word or argued with her about the source of this matter. But now her injuries hadn't fully healed yet. He Yu stared at the still thin and pale face in front of him, and after a moment of silence, he lowered his tone to the minimum.
"Tao Wanjia, I can't get through."
He said this without emotion.
He lowered his eyes to look at her, his gaze burning.
"I understand that you have your own difficulties, and I also understand that you avoid talking about it because you're afraid that I'll worry, but can you please not always leave me alone? I haven't waited for you all these years just to hear these things from you."
The atmosphere was tense for a moment, and He Yu's voice became increasingly uncontrollable. He could never remain calm in front of her, and the slightest change in her emotions or words could drive him crazy.
"Everything I said that day will remain unchanged. In short, don't even think about getting rid of me in this life."
After saying this, he turned and went back to the bedroom without giving her another chance to refuse.
Tao Wanji stared at the closed door, stood there for a while, and then returned to the bedroom.
He Yu had specially redecorated her room, replacing the mattress, quilt, and pillows with new ones. They were so soft that lying on them felt like being held by clouds. Although it was very comfortable, Tao Wanjia couldn't fall asleep.
After turning off the lights, she tossed and turned, looking at the bright moonlight shining through the gaps in the curtains, and recalled the first time she met He Yu as a child.
That was the first day of school for the last half year of kindergarten.
When she walked into the classroom, her classmates curiously spoke to her, "Tao Wanjia, your schoolbag is quite nice. Who bought it for you?"
“My mom bought it.”
She stepped back, not wanting anyone to touch her, so she took it off and put it on the table.
It's been over two months since her parents passed away, and Tao Wanjia, who initially couldn't bring herself to talk about it, has finally come to terms with it. But she's having trouble adapting to this kind of group life. Before, her parents always took her to school together, no matter how busy they were, and she was always the one who received the most attention from her classmates.
But now, she began to fear this kind of "attention"
"nonsense!"
A chubby boy squeezed in front of the table and said, "How can your parents buy you a schoolbag when they're dead? You're lying! You're a liar!"
Children speak without restraint, and sometimes the unknown is also a form of rudeness.
A classmate whispered in the back, "Hey, stop talking! My mom said Tao Wanjia is pitiful and we should treat her better."
Poor thing, this was the idiom she hated to hear the most at that time.
Every time the adults in the compound saw her, they sighed and repeatedly told her how pitiful she was. Tao Wanjia didn't understand. A seven-year-old girl's self-esteem wasn't enough for her to have the courage to throw a tantrum in front of others, so she could only listen, listening to those words of pity but not genuine concern for her.
The gazes cast at her were not actually warm. To her, they were more like sharp icicles under the eaves, spinning rapidly and piercing her to pieces when she was caught off guard.
She doesn't want anyone to look at her wounds, and she doesn't need anyone to pity her.
With a little effort, he raised his hand and pushed the desk to the ground.
Everyone ran away in a hurry, but the fat boy was hit on the foot because he walked too slowly, and he jumped up screaming.
"Ahhh my foot, Teacher Tao Wanjia hit me on purpose!"
…
At the classroom door, He Yu, who had just arrived in Rongcheng for only three days, had his cognition refreshed again.
He didn't like this cold, small place, where the asphalt was cracked by trucks, iron powder flew on the streets, and the snow was not pure white. Even the children seemed unruly and unreasonable.
He hid behind his parents, his eyes scanning the room before settling on the girl, her eyes red as she overturned the table. She was wearing a flowered sweater, small in stature but powerful, and she calmly recounted the facts under the teacher's questioning.
"He said my parents were dead. I asked him to leave but he refused, so that's why he pushed the table over."
Tao Wanjia had a stubborn expression on her face. Facing the gazes of everyone around her, she spoke. The tears in her eyes seemed to be about to fall, but they did not fade for a long time after she finished speaking.
He Yu became distracted while watching, and didn't even hear his parents calling him several times.
He was seven years old and still couldn't speak. He was withdrawn and autistic and didn't like to socialize with his peers. He had taken various speaking assistance courses in South City, but now he had to stay here. The only thing that could help him speak was group life.
He Jinsheng looked at his wife and sighed, "No, you should take the children back. Dad will definitely not make things difficult for you and your mother if he is angry with me. Wait until I finish this project..."
"What are you talking about? A family should be together." Yu Li interrupted him, soothing him softly, "The doctor also said that this is caused by psychological factors. Maybe changing the environment will help."
After saying this, the teacher, who had resolved the dispute, returned with an apologetic smile, "Actually, the kids in our class are all pretty cute, but it's normal for kids to have some disagreements."
"Have you two considered this? The director has already contacted the kindergarten. I will inform the other students to take good care of our child."
He Jinsheng and Yu Li nodded and stopped asking He Yu's opinion. They both had the answer in their minds during the time he paused.
Pointing at Tao Wanjia in the room, he asked the teacher with a smile, "Can my son sit with this girl? Maybe he'll become more lively if he's with a lively friend."
"sure."
The couple led He Yu in. Tao Wanji lowered his head to pick up the scattered stationery, and bent down to pick up a pencil on the ground, but someone took it away first.
She sat up straight and Yu Li handed her a pencil. Amidst the faint scent of jasmine, the woman looked at her tenderly.
"This is He Yu. You two will be desk mates from now on. Please take good care of him."
Tao Wanji was stunned for a moment. The smell lingering on her nose, similar to that of her mother, almost made her cry again, but she restrained herself, forced a smile and nodded, then looked carefully at the boy sitting next to her.
He Yu was unlike the others in the class. He didn't have snot on his face, nor did he wear piles of heavy hand-knitted sweaters. Under his down jacket was a blue plaid shirt, which made his skin look even whiter.
There was no red frostbite or rough scabs, her eyes were clear, and her long, curved eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings every time she blinked.
Not to mention the class, there is no such person in the entire family compound.
He also had a scent similar to her mother's. Tao Wanjia was lost in the aroma and stared at him for a long time before she remembered to introduce herself.
She hushed the boy and moved closer to his face. "My name is Tao Wanjia. What's your name?"
He Yu tore off a piece of graph paper, took the pencil from her hand, and wrote two words neatly.
Tao Wanjia read with great effort, his brows knitted together. "Ke... what mountain? Is your name Keshan?"
He looked at her and then spelled the pinyin again. This time Tao Wanjia read it correctly and called him again according to the pinyin.
He Yu nodded slowly under her gaze.
Tao Wanji was filled with endless curiosity about her new deskmate, but she soon discovered something was wrong because he remained silent and rarely looked at her when she asked questions. He was like a small animal that had just been released from a cage, so timid that any noise around him would disturb him.
She was surprised, and it wasn't until the teacher called her to the office after class that Tao Wanjia realized that he really couldn't speak. Thinking of that beautiful face, she felt a little sorry.
Back in the classroom, Tao Wanji met those evasive eyes and spoke seriously.
"Don't worry, I will take good care of you!"
He Yu didn't know that a person who was pitied by everyone really wanted to find his own value. She was very glad that fate had sent him there at that time. Another "poor little guy" who was lonely and weak and couldn't get along with anyone around him greatly increased her desire to protect him and made her no longer afraid of going to school because she still had to "protect" him.
The person who really helped her erase the subtle pain in her childhood was He Yu. In front of him, she was willing to continue to be the domineering and naughty ghost in the yard, and to protect him with her teeth and claws, the "Lady Tao".
In this way, Tao Wanjia gradually became inseparable from him.
Every day after school, I would put on my backpack and stand behind him, protecting him like a little chicken in the crowd of people pushing and shoving around me.
The "protected person" knew nothing about this until he walked out of the classroom and onto the playground. Only then did he notice the hand stretched out by the girl beside him in the shadow on the ground. The cement ground was colorless under the afterglow of the setting sun, but the addition of these two hands made the dark shadow become interesting.
It was like two wings were inserted at his sides, swaying and about to carry him into the sky.
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