46 "Everyone in this world can disbelieve in me"
The moment He Yu said this, the atmosphere in the room became so tense that it seemed to have reached freezing point.
"Why do you ask that?"
Tao Wanjia looked at his cold eyes and was suddenly speechless.
"I, I came back because of other things. Huang Zheng is busy opening a new store recently, so..."
"Just tell me yes or no," He Yu interrupted her with a frown, "Is an answer so difficult for you?"
He didn't understand. He didn't know that even though he was sensitive because of public opinion, they were boyfriend and girlfriend and the closest people to each other. No matter how troublesome the matter was, why couldn't they talk about it openly? Why did he have to spy on them secretly and guess the answer from the words of others who tried to sow discord?
He Yu could not accept this kind of concealment, which seemed more like deception to him.
He had been "cheated" by Tao Wanjia too many times, and this incident hurt him far more than any previous one.
Too many things have happened in the past few days, coupled with Wen Dongyang's accident tonight, he is now completely immersed in a kind of unknown anxiety and unable to think carefully. The only thing that is clear to him is that the dangers lurking in the dark have already exceeded his imagination.
"He Yu, can we talk about it later if there's anything?" Tao Wanji sighed, his voice tired.
"Things have gotten so chaotic now. I really don't have the mood or energy to debate this with you."
She also had to go to Huang Zheng's house. Huang Shengsheng would cry if she didn't see anyone when she got up.
Besides, she was not ready to confront him face to face. In order to prevent herself from being exposed, Tao Wanjia could only escape as quickly as possible.
He Yu was stubborn and emphasized his tone as he watched her walk past him.
"I know you went to see Deng Zixiong, and you have all this information in your computer. If you wanted to check me, why didn't you just tell me?"
There was clear anger in his words. Tao Wanjia stopped and paused in his movement to open the door.
She turned around, and the composure she had concealed for so long finally failed. The two of them looked at each other silently, and the airtight barrier between them was completely torn apart.
He Yu tried hard to control himself and calm himself. He walked forward and held her hand tightly. "I know you came back because of me, but whether it's Sun Heng's case or Deng Zixiong, you should stay away. I can be slandered and investigated, but I don't want you to be involved. Do you understand?"
He had already been forced into a desperate situation by Deng Zixiong, and it didn't matter if he really fought with him, but she couldn't. She was his bottom line, and she should do her thing steadily instead of being dragged into this situation, let alone being used and becoming the opposite of him.
"He Yu, you only make me think there's something wrong with you."
Tao Wanji broke free from his hand, her eyes instantly turned cold, and she was trying her best to calm herself down.
"Do you know what Sun Heng did behind your back? Do you think you can get away with all the large sums of money he was handling in the underground bank?"
"Shut up!" He Yu looked at her in a daze, and the huge rock in his heart finally fell.
The real purpose was revealed. It turned out that this was the feeling at this moment. He was almost suffocating. The wound where he couldn't breathe was caused by the blade she had stabbed with her own hands.
"So... so all of this is true. You went to see Deng Zixiong to investigate me, and you stayed in Rongcheng to investigate me."
His tone was already unstable, and a circle of redness appeared on the edges of his eye sockets from being burned. Under the light, those fragile features swayed for a long time, stubbornly refusing to fade.
Tao Wanjia didn't look at him. He pulled her shoulders hard and forced her to look into his eyes.
"I never thought that I would check you out someday. Back then—"
"Don't mention those days to me!"
He Yu couldn't bear to listen to anything at this moment. The hands that were holding her shoulders unconsciously tightened, and his words became heavier and heavier as if he was out of control.
"I prepared everything to take you away, but what about you? You liar."
He had indeed hated her in those years. He hated her for abandoning him time and time again. He hated her for not feeling a bit of guilt towards him after they met again. He hated her even more for being so calm. In any of the options, he would be the one left behind.
But what is more painful is actually now.
She chose to agree with other people's doubts about him in his ideals and work, which was more painful than giving up on him directly.
"Tao Wanjia, everyone in this world can disbelieve me, except you..."
"Only you can't!"
He realized later that this was Deng Zixiong's most brilliant strategy, using her to deal with him.
His vision blurred and He Yu slowly let go of his hand.
What he can't catch, no matter it was nine years ago or now, he can never catch what he wants to catch.
"Let's break up." He Yu said in a deep voice.
"You can go back to Nancheng, Jingping, or anywhere else in the world like before. Don't stay in Rongcheng. I don't want to see you."
Tao Wanjia was stunned for a moment, thinking he was speaking in anger, so he subconsciously grabbed him and said, "He Yu, are you scared?"
His fingertips brushed the cuffs of her shirt. He Yu broke away from her without answering and went upstairs without looking back.
It was not until the door was slammed shut that Tao Wanjia woke up from his dream.
He was really angry, and only she could make him so angry.
Tao Wanjia was exhausted. After she walked out of the community, she found that her legs were shaking uncontrollably and her muscles were twitching and jumping, just like her heartbeat that was about to jump out of her chest.
She was not good at confrontation or lying. The conversation she had just had with He Yu had already consumed her remaining energy. The sky was already bright, but she didn't know when the fog had started. The thick white fog blocked the sun, and not even a trace of light could be seen in the vast expanse of pure white.
The weather was really strange. There were stars when she left the hospital.
I looked up at the pale sky, and the foggy memories in my mind became clearer when the lights of a passing car came into view.
In the summer of 2015, after the college entrance examination, she moved back to her old house in the hutong area from the school dormitory.
Two years ago, the factory began to lay off employees due to poor performance, and the houses that were originally sponsored to employees as welfare were also taken back. After Huang Zhibiao was laid off, his family moved out of the staff building, and the four of them lived in a dilapidated bungalow of only about 30 square meters.
Since there weren't enough bedrooms, they separated a small room for the two children to live in. However, Huang Zheng and Tao Wanji had grown up, and their stretched limbs and heights made it difficult for them to squeeze together. Even with a wooden board, if they wanted to sleep well, they could only lie stiffly on one side and not turn over.
Huang Zheng had already started earning money at that time. She was busy pushing the cart during the day and couldn't sleep well at night, which inevitably made her irritable. Tao Wanjia didn't want to have any friction with her at home, so he took the initiative to apply for accommodation in the school.
We had a break every two weeks, and by the end of our senior year, it was once a month. Three years later, the friction between us had lessened, and our relationship had become more harmonious.
In order to celebrate Tao Wanjia's successful completion of the exam, Huang Zheng specially bought her a new dress, but unexpectedly something went wrong just as they were about to have dinner.
The reason was very simple. Huang Zhibiao bought Tao Wanji the latest mobile phone as a reward for her college entrance examination. Huang Zheng had been begging him for a long time, but Huang Zhibiao even kept the money she earned from setting up a stall and refused to give it to her. So she had a preconceived notion that Tao Wanji earned the money for the mobile phone, and she vented her anger at the dinner table about all the kindness her parents had shown her and the harsh criticism she had shown herself since she was a child.
Huang Zheng scolded her for being heartless and berated her parents for taking even her hard-earned money. When people are extremely poor, it's hard to control their emotions, and any small grievance can become an excuse. In reality, she was just too tired, so exhausted that she lost her rationality.
Tao Wanjia always tried to keep the peace in the past, and would endure it even when she pointed at her nose and scolded him, but this time he was not like usual.
She was already an adult, and she was eager to leave this home that did not belong to her, so she did not care about her decency in front of her uncle and aunt, stood up from her chair with a cold face, and threw the cell phone box into Huang Zheng's arms.
"You give me your things. I don't want them."
After saying that, he turned around and ran away.
Living under someone else's roof was not pleasant. One had to carefully observe their expressions and words, and even the faintest sigh would inevitably lead to overthinking. These past eleven years had been difficult for her. Although Uncle Huang and Aunt Liu had been kind enough to treat her well, they were not truly family after all. There was a distinction between close and distant relatives, and she had even subconsciously excluded herself from the group.
The changes in a person's growing environment are so cruel that it takes Tao Wanjia a long time to recall the fearless and naughty kid he was in his childhood.
The wind started to blow, casting the last bit of bluish-white light on the mountaintop at night. Under the cobalt-blue dome, she climbed up the stone steps to the cemetery.
As usual, Tao Wanjia placed the snacks he bought in his handbag on a plate, folded his legs and sat on the ground. While eating, he talked about his future plans to the tombstone.
"If, if I never come back to Rongcheng, will you two blame me?"
The mountains were silent in the darkness, with only the subtle sound of gravel blowing against the tombstones.
Tao Wanjia was not afraid at all. She knew this cemetery even better than she knew herself.
"If you don't say anything, I'll take it as your agreement. I think my grades should be good enough, so I'll pick a southern city far away from here. But don't worry, I'll come back to see you whenever I have time."
After all, Rongcheng is her root.
She spoke in a firm tone and continued to eat the snacks at hand. The old-fashioned Lu Pian Guozi noodles were sweet, but when she put them in her mouth again, she couldn't taste anything.
Tears buried in the soil, Tao Wanjia sobbed silently in the darkness.
The grievances she had just felt during the confrontation with Huang Zheng were carried by the wind into her chest, making her feel stuffy and painful. She didn't even notice He Yu rushing over behind her.
"Ga-ga."
She turned around at the sound, looking at the sweaty boy running in front of her, flashlight in hand. His white shirt was extremely conspicuous in the darkness, but even more noticeable was the exquisite packaging bag in his other hand.
"I just went to Huaihua Hutong to look for you, but no one was home. When I came out, I saw Uncle Huang and Aunt Liu standing on the street, looking anxious. They told me they didn't know where you were..." He Yu squatted down and put down the snacks he had brought. Whenever he accompanied Tao Wanjia here, he would buy a lot of things for her parents.
"I guessed you must be here, so I asked them to go home and wait for you."
He turned his head to look at her, and the white light from the flashlight illuminated the girl's red eyes and tear marks.
"What’s wrong with you?"
He Yu stretched out his hand and gently placed it on her back.
He has never been good at comforting people since he was a child, especially Tao Wanjia. Her tears would make him lose all his ability to express himself in an instant.
"Did Huang Zheng say something again? Or, or Uncle Huang and the others—"
"He Yu, I'm fine."
Tao Wanjia interrupted him, still with his back to him.
She still couldn't complain to him, even though He Yu had been following her everywhere all these years, and had always allowed her to be herself freely and uninhibitedly, and she could vent all her emotions in front of him. But she didn't want to, she didn't want him to be her garbage disposal forever.
Even though she rarely shed tears in front of him, Tao Wanjia still had her own stubbornness. Reason told her to restrain herself, but the reality was that when people were vulnerable, even the slightest bit of concern would only make the already brimming emotions worse.
He Yu was suddenly speechless when he saw her like this. What should he say? Uncle Huang and Aunt Liu were indeed very kind to her, but that was only what he had seen as a neighbor over the years. Only she knew what she was like in that family.
He realized belatedly that his question was inappropriate. There were some things he shouldn't and couldn't say. He was just anxious because he felt sorry for her.
He wanted to do something, and did not remove his hand from her back. The warmth of his palm passed through the layer of cloth to her skin.
"Jiaojiao, you still have me. Don't cry."
With just this one sentence, Tao Wanjia's forced disguise and the high wall in her heart completely collapsed. She turned around, hugged him and buried her head in that hot chest.
"He Yu, can you take me away from Rongcheng? I really want to leave."
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