Chapter 472 The Queen Mother's Last Wish
The royal funeral procession, in the chilly wind of late autumn, was like a long, winding white dragon, returning to the palace silently and tiredly.
When Yan Shixu returned to the Zichen Palace, he was almost supported in by Wen Li'er and Yongtai.
He took off his heavy mourning clothes, revealing the equally plain white linen clothes underneath, and his figure looked unusually thin.
The mental and physical exhaustion of the past few days and the strain of trying to manage the overall situation caused him to fall into a drowsy state between sleep and wakefulness as soon as he touched the bed.
Wen Li'er, with her heavy belly, carefully covered him with a thin blanket.
Looking at the fatigue deep in his brows, I felt an indescribable sadness in my heart.
She could only sit by the bed and hold his cold hand silently.
In the Cining Palace, where the master had just left, the white banners and white curtains that had not yet been removed were swaying gently in the breeze.
At this time, the Queen Mother came to the Cining Palace again.
She refused everyone's company and only said in a hoarse voice: "I want to be alone and quiet."
His voice was as dry as sandpaper, and his eyes were so empty that they could not reflect any light.
The palace servants dared not disobey and could only lower their heads and retreat to the corridor outside the palace to guard it, listening attentively to the movements inside.
The hall was dimly lit and dead silent.
The Queen Mother did not light a lamp, but just sat on the soft couch by the window, her unfocused eyes fixed on the gray sky outside the window.
Her aunt is gone.
Her daughter is gone too.
In this huge palace and this long and confusing life, what else is there to be nostalgic about?
Scenes from the past flashed before her eyes like faded paintings.
Regret and self-loathing clung to her heart, and every breath was weighed down with guilt.
Her eyes slowly moved to an inconspicuous rosewood box on the dressing table.
She had prepared that long ago.
There was no jewelry inside, only a small, round, heavy gold bead.
She slowly stood up and walked to the dressing table.
The lid of the box was opened, and the golden beads lay quietly inside.
She walked back to the couch, her movements even carrying a strange calmness, as if she had completed something she had been putting off for a long time and had finally made up her mind to do.
She sat back down and straightened her plain robe.
Then, he took out two letters that had already been written from his sleeve.
One letter was addressed to "Xu'er" and the other was addressed to "Li'er".
She placed them neatly on the low table beside her, holding down one corner with an empty teacup.
After doing all this, she had no hesitation, no fear, only an almost numb determination.
She picked up the cold golden bead and put it into her mouth without hesitation.
The feeling of the golden bead sliding across the throat was extremely clear, with the unique coldness and heaviness of metal.
There was no expression of pain on her face, only a calmness that was almost empty.
It was a dead silence that came from completely giving up struggle and falling into the endless dark abyss.
The palace maids waiting outside the hall could initially hear a very slight sound of fabric rubbing against each other inside.
But as time went by, the slight sound completely disappeared.
The leading palace maid felt extremely uneasy.
She mustered her courage and gently knocked on the door. "Empress Dowager? Would you like some hot soup?"
There was no response from inside.
The maid in charge's heart sank suddenly. She no longer cared about etiquette and pushed open the palace door and rushed in.
In the dim light, the Empress Dowager was seen leaning quietly on the couch, her head slightly tilted to one side, her face as peaceful as if she was asleep.
But the maid in charge saw a faint but strange dark red mark on the Empress Dowager's lips.
"Her Majesty the Queen Mother!"
The maid in charge let out a shrill scream, crawled to the front of the couch, and reached out with trembling hands to check the empress dowager's breath.
The skin touched by my fingertips was ice cold, and I couldn't feel any breath under my nose.
"Someone! Someone come quickly! Call the imperial physician! Call the imperial physician quickly! The Empress Dowager...something's wrong!"
The maid in charge collapsed to the ground, and her heart-wrenching cries instantly ripped through the dead silence of the Cining Palace.
The hurried and chaotic sound of footsteps, the terrified shouts, the shattering sounds of cups and plates being knocked over in panic... instantly broke the oppressive silence of the Zichen Hall.
Yongtai almost stumbled into the inner hall, his face as pale as paper:
"Your Majesty! Queen! It's terrible! The Queen Mother...she...has passed away!"
"What?!" Yan Shixu, who was in a coma, suddenly opened his eyes, his eyes were bloodshot.
"Mother?!" Wen Li'er stood up suddenly in shock. The fetus in her belly seemed to feel this sudden change and kicked violently.
The side hall of the Cining Palace was already in chaos.
The imperial physician knelt in front of the couch, his face pale, and shook his head at the emperor who rushed in.
The palace maids knelt on the ground, suppressing their tears.
Yan Shixu rushed to the bedside, looking at his mother's peaceful yet lifeless face, the glaring dark red on her lips, and then the two unopened letters on the low table...
He staggered a step and picked up the letter with "Xu'er's personal letter" written on it. His knuckles turned white from the force.
——
Xu Er Wu Er:
Mother is gone. Do not grieve, do not be angry. This departure was not hasty, but the fruit of deep thought.
I have been confused in this life, deeply trapped in love, wasted my time, failed to become a good mother, and feel ashamed of the deep kindness of my aunt.
The root of Shuer’s misfortune lies with me.
If I had not indulged in self-harm back then, and had fulfilled my motherly duties and guided him to be good, how could he have become so crazy and turned into a demon, bringing trouble to Jiahe and breaking the heart of your Royal Grandmother?
Thinking of this, I am heartbroken and have no face to live in this world.
My aunt has passed away, and my pillar of support has collapsed. In this body and in this heart, I have no more worries, no more attachments.
All I am left with is endless regret, gnawing at my heart day and night. What joy is there in living?
My son has grown into a wise ruler. He has the virtuous Queen Li'er by his side and a son named Lin at his knees. The country is safe and secure, and my heart is very happy.
The rest of your life is long, I hope my son takes good care of his health, grows old with Li'er, and treats the young one well.
My mother’s only wish is that after her death, she will not be buried with your father, Emperor Shunlong.
We do not sleep in the same bed in life, and we shall not study in the same school in death.
Please bury me next to my aunt's tomb, guard the foot of the tomb, and repay me for all the debts I have owed you in this life.
The funeral was kept simple.
Don't worry.
My mother’s last words.
——
Every word is heart-wrenching and every sentence is heart-wrenching.
Yan Shixu held the letter in his hand, and the thin piece of paper seemed to weigh more than a thousand pounds.
"Mother... why do you... why do you do this..."
Wen Li'er rushed to the door with the help of the palace maid and saw the remains of the Empress Dowager on the couch.
A chill ran from the soles of my feet to the top of my head.
He clearly sensed the uneasiness and asked the palace servants to step up the supervision, but in the end... he still couldn't prevent this tragedy!
She was already in tears and tremblingly picked up the letter that belonged to her.
Unfolding the letter, the content was brief, yet equally weighty:
——
Pear:
I know that you are kind and wise. I feel at peace with you in my heart.
After I leave, Xu'er will be heartbroken.
He is tough on the outside but gentle on the inside, and extremely sentimental. Having lost his fathers one after another, he is afraid that his grief will be too great.
I hope you can give him more guidance, comfort him, and protect him well.
My third grandson has had a rough life and the young child is innocent.
I know that you are kind-hearted, so I implore you to take good care of Xu'er for the sake of our blood relationship and not leave him alone.
This is my dying wish, I hope you will agree to it.
Thanks.
——
Wen Li'er clutched the letter tightly and burst into tears.
She looked at the heartbroken Yan Shixu and the empress dowager's calm face on the couch, who was finally completely relieved, and her heart was filled with sadness and bitterness.
She walked to Yan Shixu with difficulty, her belly bulging, and stretched out her arms.
He hugged the emperor, who had just lost his grandmother and then his mother, tightly and forcefully in his arms.
"Your Majesty... Your Majesty..."
She called out again and again, her voice choked with sobs: "Mother is just... too tired... let her rest in peace..."
Yan Shixu buried his head deeply in Wen Li'er's soft neck, and his hot tears soaked her clothes.
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