After Jiang Ciyou put the food down.
Then he turned and entered the room.
Jiang Ciyou took a thick blanket from the sofa and walked to the balcony.
Then it was draped over Shen Yibai's shoulders.
Finally, he stepped on the rattan chair next to Shen Yibai and sat down.
"Uncle Fu said you haven't eaten for a few days."
Shen Yibai turned his head, his eyes dim: “I have no appetite, and I’m not hungry.”
"Yibai, I understand how you feel, but I don't know how to comfort you. I've experienced some sad things before, but after getting over them, I realized that we should always look forward and not dwell on the pain of the past, otherwise our lives will always be dark."
Shen Yibai stared fixedly ahead, seemingly in a daze.
"Sister, my world has been like this for a long time."
This year, he experienced too many things.
Shen Yibai said: "I just feel very confused now. I don't know what the meaning of life is."
Jiang Ciyou's heart skipped a beat when he heard this.
It's a bit dangerous for him to think so.
Jiang Ciyou was depressed for a period of time during the most difficult time in his life.
She was in the same state of mind back then.
"Yibai, life doesn't have to have a meaning. Being alive is the greatest meaning."
"Sister, I feel like my life is a joke."
"Why do you feel that way?"
"My name is Chen Yibai. I took my father's surname, but my father is like a cloaked man. He never considered me his son. For so many years, he ignored me. My name is Yibai. It took me ten years to understand the meaning of it. Yibai, Yibai, is just a name my mother gave me to commemorate her first love. I am just a carrier of her longing for that person. So, who am I? Who should I be?"
"I even began to doubt whether my mother ever cared about me. When she died, she kept looking at my uncle. She was filled with remorse and guilt, and she wanted my uncle's forgiveness. But from beginning to end, she forgot that she still had a son by her side. Her other son would also be heartbroken because of her death."
"Why did she choose to commit suicide? Was it because she felt guilty towards her uncle? Or was it because there was nothing left in this world that she missed? Did she forget I existed?"
"No matter how big a crime she committed, I can always stay with her. I can atone for her sins together, but why did she abandon me?"
"She was so attached to her uncle when she died, but she didn't even look at me. Didn't she have anything to say to me?"
"It's because I'm not good enough that she doesn't want me anymore."
Jiang Ciyou had never seen Shen Yibai's expression like this before.
So lonely and sad, like an abandoned child.
Jiang Ciyou could tell that Shen Yibai loved his mother deeply.
So he even blamed himself for Bo Wanhua's death.
Jiang Ciyou said, "Yibai, you are already an adult, so I want to discuss this matter with you from an adult's perspective."
"First of all, your mother's death has nothing to do with you, and it's not because you're not good enough."
"Her choice of this step today is the result of a lifelong obstacle and calamity. Your mother has experienced many hardships and misfortunes throughout her life, which is why she has become what she is today. But that is her fate and her choice, and it has nothing to do with anyone else."
"I think her ending was perfect. She tragically ended her pitiful and hateful life in her own way. But I've always felt that death isn't the end, but perhaps just the beginning of another journey. Everything we endure in this world is like a baby in the womb. Death may be an exit from rebirth. She simply went to another dimension."
Shen Yibai was somewhat shocked by Jiang Ciyou's statement.
The fact that she could say these words proved that she had also pondered the topics of life and death in confusion.
This made Shen Yibai feel a sense of sympathy for each other.
"Also, I think your mother loved you. At the end of her life, she might have accumulated too much guilt and regret towards Ah Xiu. But after all, she gave you ordinary maternal love for so many years. Otherwise, you wouldn't have grown up so sunny and full of vitality. Yibai, I really want to see the old you."
Jiang Ciyou stood up.
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