Chapter 36 Love Letter: To My Dearest
After arriving home, Zhou Yu received a message from Chen Jingchi.
Chen: [The album concept is about humanity and nature; you'll be in charge of the "human" part.]
Chen: [Feel free to share any thoughts with me.]
Chen: [Recording started in April]
Zhou wanted to reply "okay," but as soon as the message was sent, she thought about what she had said to Du Heng in the car and realized that she couldn't continue like this. It was time to make a change and bravely take the first step.
After agonizing over it for a long time, I added: "Get some rest."
Perhaps because it was the first time they had seen Zhou Yu showing concern for their lives, there was a nearly half-minute silence on the other end.
Zhou Yu waited impatiently for replies, and just as he logged out, there was a ding-dong sound.
Chen: [Hmm]
At least he got back, Zhou thought.
Before going to bed, Liu Xianya asked her what time her high-speed train was tomorrow so she could take her to the station.
"No need to see me off. My suitcase isn't heavy, I can manage on my own." Zhou Yu didn't intend to trouble her.
Liu Xianya didn't insist. Before turning off the lights, she said, "You'll have to come back next month."
Zhou asked in confusion, "What's wrong?"
“It’s my grandfather’s 70th birthday.” After saying that, Liu Xianya suddenly sighed softly, “Time flies so fast.”
Zhou Yu turned her head to look at her, deeply agreeing with her mother's words.
Not only her grandfather, but also Liu Xianya has left indelible marks on her. The wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, the one or two gray hairs hidden in her hair, and the large font size on her phone.
Zhou Yu usually ignores these details, always feeling that her mother is still the same beautiful woman in her prime. She is conflicted, hoping to grow up quickly and become stronger, yet also hoping that her mother can age more slowly.
After turning off the lights, Zhou Yu imitated Tan Bei's actions towards her last time, turning to the side and hugging Liu Xianya.
In my memory, it was always Liu Xianya carrying her. From when she couldn't walk as far as she could remember, to when she fell while learning to ride a bicycle, to when she got tired from playing outside and asked her mother to carry her, and then to every time she got first place in an exam and brought home an award certificate, Liu Xianya would happily hug her and praise her for being so great.
Memories flooded back, but among so many images, some blurry and some vivid, she couldn't recall when she had ever hugged her mother.
The harder Zhou Yu searched, the more her nose stung. She felt Liu Xianya pull her into her arms and say with a smile, "My daughter is so grown up now, she's such a proud mother."
Zhou Yu closed his eyes, his voice muffled: "Is growing up something to be proud of?"
“Of course.” Liu Xianya stroked her hair by the side of her ear and said softly, “I have never made any contribution to society, you are my best creation.”
Zhou Yu's eyes were a little wet, and afraid that she would hear him choking up, he didn't dare to make a sound.
*
Winter break is over, and school has officially started.
Zhou Yu spent a week writing the first draft of the lyrics. On Saturday afternoon, she polished the lyrics at the library and sent the first draft to Chen Jingchi to ask him what he thought of the idea.
However, almost an hour had passed since she sent the message, and Chen Jingchi hadn't replied. Based on his usual reply speed, it would never take more than ten minutes. Zhou Yu frequently checked her phone.
When she opened her phone again, a new message popped up on WeChat. She thought it was Chen Jingchi, and her heart skipped a beat. But it turned out to be Du Heng.
Du Heng: [Can you get in touch with Xiao Chen? Why aren't you replying to my messages?]
Zhou Yu replied: [He didn't reply to me either.]
Du Heng: [Strange, he's not home either, where did he go?]
Zhou Yu made a voice call to him, but the call ended automatically after the ringing stopped and no one answered.
She didn't pay much attention, guessing that he was probably busy with his new song, and it's normal for people not to look at their phones when they're immersed in creating.
By 7 p.m., Chen Jingchi still hadn't made a move, and Zhou Yu could no longer calmly assume he was busy. She had even lost the will to polish the lyrics, and tried calling again, but still no answer.
I messaged Du Heng, and he was also anxious: [He was fine yesterday, could he be thinking of doing something rash?]
Zhou Yu didn't think it was as exaggerated as he made it out to be. Chen Jingchi had a grand goal in mind; how could he do something foolish before he even got results? It was just that he couldn't get in touch with him, which still made him a little worried.
She replied to Du Heng: "Probably not, let's wait and see."
Seeing her get up and sit down several times, Fan Xin asked curiously, "Zhou Zhou, do you need to pee? Jia Jia just went in."
"No." Zhou Yu couldn't explain it to her, so he sat down in the chair and didn't get up again.
Clicking into Weibo to try and divert attention, Zhou Yu noticed that Chen Jingchi's last post was a picture of him returning from a music festival on the Lantern Festival. A week later, there was nothing new to see.
At 7:30, Zhou Yu's phone rang, and seeing that it was Chen Jingchi's name, she finally felt relieved.
Chen: [Sorry, my phone has no signal.]
Zhou Yu: [Where are you?]
The next second, the other party made a video call.
Seeing that the interface was different from the usual voice call interface, Zhou Yu hesitated for two seconds, put on his headphones, and quickly turned off the camera after the call connected.
The screen displays what's happening on his side.
Chen Jingchi pointed the camera at the sky. The night was pitch black with sparse clouds, and the stars were clearly visible. The occasional chirping of insects could be heard, and the shadows of a few leaves appeared on the edge of the screen.
Zhou asked in surprise, "Where is this?"
“Little Jingshan,” he said.
Xiaojingshan is a mountain peak with an altitude of 1,000 meters in northern Jiangbei. It is a national-level tourist attraction. When Zhou Yu first came to Jiangchuan University, his class organized a mountain climbing team building activity. Zhou Yu had a clear understanding of his physical fitness and did not join in the fun.
No wonder he didn't reply to my message this afternoon; the signal is bad in the mountains, so he probably didn't receive it.
Even if he's climbing a mountain, why is he still at the summit at this hour?
"Isn't it beautiful?" Chen Jingchi said. "It looks even more spectacular to the naked eye than on a mobile phone."
"Beautiful," Zhou Yu said truthfully, then asked, "You went hiking alone?"
"Climbing the mountain is secondary."
Chen Jingchi moved the camera down, overlooking the mountaintop. The view was expansive, with no obstructions in sight. Under the cover of night, one could vaguely see a large, dense forest and a range of mountain peaks.
No wonder so many people love mountain climbing. Just by watching the videos, Zhou Yu could feel the sense of accomplishment and conquest of standing on the mountaintop and seeing the view in front of him.
"I recorded some sounds of nature," Chen Jingchi said. "I'll play them for you later."
"Isn't it cold up in the mountains?"
"It's cold. I'll be going down right away."
Going down the mountain at night is dangerous; it would be troublesome if I didn't see the path clearly. Zhou Yu's heart, which had just settled down, jumped again, and he hurriedly said, "Don't hang up!"
Chen Jingchi found her reaction amusing and deliberately misinterpreted her meaning: "You won't die."
Zhou Yu gasped: "I meant don't hang up."
"They didn't say they would hang up."
The video started shaking, and a blinding beam of light appeared. Chen Jingchi turned on his flashlight and started walking down the mountain.
Zhou Yu was afraid that he would find it boring to just stay silent on the line, so she racked her brains to find a topic: "Will you be able to come back in time after you go down the mountain?"
Conversation is definitely her weakness. The book on communication skills just arrived, and she hasn't even had a chance to read more than a few pages, so she hasn't grasped the essence of it.
"I've booked a room at the mountain hotel. I'll stay there for one night. It's not too far away." Chen Jingchi turned off the video and switched to voice call.
Zhou Yu thought of Du Heng and asked, "Didn't you tell Du Heng you were going hiking? He couldn't reach you and came to ask me."
"I didn't tell him, because I was afraid he wouldn't agree." Chen Jingchi was quite aware of the danger of his actions. "You help me keep it from him."
Zhou Yu hesitated for only a moment before agreeing: "Okay."
Chen Jingchi was somewhat surprised that she stood on his side so easily, but he didn't ask why; he just chuckled.
“I saw the words you sent,” he said. “I can’t offer any better suggestions.”
Zhou Yu named her first song lyrics "Late Night Call". To save time, she specially wrote a brief introduction before the lyrics so that she could use it directly later.
"In a half-dream, half-awake state, I received a call from an unknown number."
The familiar voice was exactly the same as mine.
Which is real and which is illusion?
It is my future self that points the way forward.
I'll still spoil my life story.
I am now grateful for the resilience I showed in the face of hardship.
Or perhaps it's a recurring cycle of different choices amidst confusion.
Everything we are experiencing now is not the end.
Rather, it is the necessary path to becoming "me".
When Zhou Yu came up with the general framework for this poem, he had just finished having a dream about his past.
After high school, she had fewer nightmares, but occasionally she would dream about her past self when she was stressed or upset.
If Zhou Yu could talk to her younger self from a few years ago, she would tell her that any obstacle or setback that seemed insurmountable at the time was actually an opportunity for growth and transformation. People should look forward, but also look back occasionally and appreciate the hardships they've faced along the way.
This is also what Zhou Yu wanted to say to Chen Jingchi.
I wonder if he felt the encouragement and inspiration she hid in the lyrics.
He just laughed: "It's not even eight o'clock yet, does that count as a late-night call?"
Zhou Yu replied haphazardly, "Tell Qianye to call."
When Chen Jingchi heard the WeChat notification that the signal was bad, he said a string of numbers: "Call me, the network is bad."
Zhou Yu didn't remember the string of numbers he gave her at all. After hanging up, she opened her contacts and found the first contact in her phone. She had accidentally dialed that number a long time ago, and afterwards she was flustered and terrified, afraid that she had left a record of the call on his phone.
She couldn't explain why she had his phone number.
And now, I can finally call him openly and honestly.
After the call connected, Chen Jingchi suddenly asked her, "Zhou Yu, have you ever seen the sunrise?"
Climbing a mountain is out of the question, let alone getting up early. Zhou Yu replied, "No."
"Want to see?" he asked.
Zhou Yu couldn't figure out the meaning behind his words for a moment, not knowing whether he was inviting her or just chatting casually. She forced herself to agree: "I want to."
Even if it really is an invitation, I'll accept it.
Chen Jingchi replied, "I'll film it for you tomorrow."
Zhou Yu felt a mix of relief and disappointment, and uttered a single syllable: "Oh."
"It doesn't sound very promising."
"No, I'm looking forward to it." Zhou Yu didn't want to disappoint him. "I was thinking, thank goodness I'm not being asked to get up early to watch the sunrise."
Even after all this time, Zhou Yu still harbors resentment about being scolded by the instructor for falling asleep while standing at attention during military training.
"Can't get up?" Chen Jingchi asked casually. "I thought you were a very self-disciplined person."
“I like sleeping.” Zhou Yu thought he was right. “I’m quite disciplined when I’m not sleeping.”
“I envy you, I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately,” he said.
Hearing it from Du Heng's mouth is different from hearing it from him in person. Zhou Yu was once again caught in the awkward situation of not knowing how to comfort him, so he quickly opened his browser and searched for something.
“You could try melatonin,” she read the answer aloud.
Hearing her read aloud in a monotone tone, as if reciting a textbook, Chen Jingchi suppressed a laugh: "Okay, I'll give it a try."
Chen Jingchi said the mountaintop wasn't far from the hotel, and sure enough, Zhou Yu hadn't walked far when she heard him talking. She knew he was safe, so there was no need to continue the call; she just didn't bring it up, wanting him to hang up first.
After a series of footsteps, the door clicked shut. Chen Jingchi told her, "I'm in the room."
"Okay." Zhou Yu said and then waited quietly.
"I'll organize the recorded material, and if things go quickly, I can send it to you tomorrow." After saying this, Chen Jingchi paused for a second or two and asked, "Is there anything else you're worried about?"
Knowing she was worried about him, he asked her that question on purpose.
"That's all." Zhou Yu had been thinking about this sentence for a long time, and it was the perfect time to say it. "Let me know when you go back to school."
"Okay," he replied. "Good night, Zhou Yu."
After ending the call, Fan Xin, who had been listening intently for a long time, smiled mischievously: "Who were you just chatting with?"
When Zhou Yu didn't know how to explain, he would always use the formula: "Friend."
“What a special friend,” Fan Xin added. “This is the first time I’ve seen you talk to someone for so long.”
Zhou Yu did not deny it.
A few minutes later, a message popped up on WeChat.
Du Heng: [Replied to message, currently out having fun]
Zhou Yu stared at it for a few seconds before realizing that Chen Jingchi had replied to her message first and chatted with her for more than ten minutes before replying to Du Heng.
Perhaps because she hadn't yet shaken off the mood from her casual conversation with him, Zhou Yu felt as if someone had gently tickled the tip of her heart.
Remembering that he had promised Chen Jingchi not to tell him about his mountain climbing, Zhou Yu simply replied, "Okay."
The next morning, when Zhou woke up, he saw several unread messages on his phone, all from Chen Jingchi.
He kept his promise to watch the sunrise and sent her photos and videos. Zhou Yu browsed through them one by one. In the dim morning light, the mountains were shrouded in a hazy, ethereal mist. The golden rays of the sun illuminated half the sky, turning the peaks a golden hue—a breathtaking sight.
The latest news is that there are two audio files.
The first file he opened was a five-minute-long white noise recording. Zhou Yu heard the chirping of insects, raindrops, the sound of the wind, the sound of a waterfall, and the crisp sound of footsteps on leaves. He felt as if he were in the tranquility of nature, and even his mind became peaceful and calm.
The second file was a piano melody, in which Chen Jingchi recorded the inspiration he had gained in the mountain forest the previous night.
Zhou Yu hurriedly got out of bed, not even bothering to eat breakfast, and picked up a pen to write lyrics.
Around noon, Chen Jingchi told her that he had returned to school.
Zhou wanted to send him the lyrics she had spent the whole morning writing, which she named "Dreaming".
*
A week later, on Saturday morning, Zhou Yu took the high-speed train back to Xianhai.
Today is my grandfather's 70th birthday, and all the elders and younger generations who work or study away from home are rushing back to their hometown.
Liu Xianya picked her up at the high-speed rail station exit. On the way to her grandfather's house in a taxi, she suddenly said to Zhou Yu, "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."
Seeing that her tone was somewhat heavy, Zhou Yu asked, "What's wrong?"
“Grandpa is probably getting old and a bit confused,” Liu Xianya said. “Yesterday I video-chatted with Grandma and it took him a while to remember who I was.”
Zhou Yu's heart sank, and a word popped into his mind: Alzheimer's disease, commonly known as senile dementia.
Thinking back to a month and a half ago, on New Year's Eve, when she visited her maternal grandparents, her grandfather seemed to be in good spirits and asked about her university life; they chatted for quite a while. She frowned and asked, "Why so suddenly?"
“Actually, it wasn’t sudden. My uncle said he started having trouble remembering things after the New Year.” Liu Xianya looked a little sad. “It’s only been a little over a month and he doesn’t recognize people anymore.”
Zhou Yu felt as if a stone was blocking her chest, making it hard for her to breathe. It's normal for elderly people to get sick, but she couldn't accept it happening to one of her own relatives.
After arriving at her maternal grandparents' house, her maternal grandmother walked to the gate, opened it, and said to Zhou Yu, "Xiao Bao, come in quickly."
Grandma was in a good mood today. Zhou Yu led her into the living room, where Grandpa was sitting on the sofa. He smiled and waved to Zhou Yu, "Come here, come here!"
Zhou Yu glanced at Liu Xianya, took a few steps forward, and sat down next to her grandfather. As soon as she sat down, her grandfather took her hand and put a colorful cellophane candy in her palm.
Just as she was feeling happy, her grandfather asked again, "Whose daughter are you? You're so beautiful!"
Zhou Yu felt a sharp pain in his heart, as if pricked by a needle. His throat tightened, and he clenched his fist tightly, his palm aching from the hard candy digging into it.
"Grandpa, it's me, Zhou Yu." She raised her voice, "Don't you remember me?"
Grandpa seemed to be thinking, but after a long time he still couldn't remember. Seeing him like this, his aunt couldn't bear it and said, "He's sometimes confused, and sometimes he's clear-headed. Talk to him, maybe he'll remember you."
Zhou Yu patiently chatted with her grandfather for a while, her words disjointed, answering only the questions he asked. Thinking back to New Year's Eve, when she either hid in the study or her room and didn't talk much with her grandparents, Zhou Yu couldn't help but feel regretful.
When the cake tower was brought out, Grandpa remembered it was his birthday. He went back to his room discreetly, and when he came out, Zhou Yu happened to be at the door. He secretly slipped a red envelope into her pocket.
It's unheard of for an elderly person to give a red envelope to a younger generation on their birthday.
Zhou Yu was taken aback and quickly tried to take it out to return it to him, but his grandfather held his hand down: "Xiao Bao, Grandpa specially prepared a big red envelope for you, accept it."
Both of her uncles were born after Liu Xianya, and Zhou Yu was the first child in the family. Her maternal grandparents had called her "Xiao Bao" since she was little. Hearing the familiar address, Zhou Yu felt a lump in her throat and accepted the red envelope.
"Good boy, but don't tell your mom," Grandpa instructed.
"Mmm," she replied nasally, and quickly wished him a happy birthday while he still recognized her.
The remaining red envelopes were given to the younger brothers. When the grandfather was cutting the cake, he was momentarily sober, which surprised the whole family. Liu Xianya quickly took out her camera and took photos and videos to record this precious moment.
But in the afternoon, as Liu Xianya was chatting with her grandfather, he suddenly blurted out, "Who are you?" Zhou Yu noticed her expression change and reached out to help her up, saying, "Let me talk to Grandpa."
The uncle sighed and said, "He won't remember even if we talk to him. You should go home early; Xiao Bao has school on Monday."
Before leaving, Liu Xianya talked about treatment with her two uncles, while Zhou Yu stood silently listening. This disease has a high incidence rate, and there's currently no cure. Treatment can only slightly improve the symptoms through medication or behavioral intervention. As for whether it will worsen, there's already a trend towards that, and no one can say for sure what will happen in the future.
After leaving her maternal grandfather's house, Zhou Yu looked at Liu Xianya, who seemed preoccupied, and after thinking for a long time, she finally said, "Mom, before we ate the cake, Grandpa gave me a red envelope with 800 yuan in it."
Liu Xianya snapped out of her daze and smiled at her: "Your grandfather gave it to you, so just keep it."
Seeing Zhou hesitate, Liu Xianya squeezed her hand and said, "It's alright, as long as Grandpa is healthy. Look at him, he's all smiles today, and he seems to be in a good mood."
Zhou Yu nodded and took her hand.
On the high-speed train back to Jiangbei, Zhou Yu began writing the lyrics for his third song.
*
When Chen Jingchi received Zhou Yu's message, he was in the rehearsal room trying to arrange the newly written melody.
The three were discussing the arrangement details when Chen Jingchi opened the chat box and saw the lyrics file she had sent.
To My Dearest You
Where do forgotten memories ultimately end up?
One day, I opened my mailbox...
I saw an unknown letter without a specified address.
They are unclaimed, sealed memories.
I felt the most sincere emotions.
I heard the most touching love words.
Record the significance of something that once existed.
But why?
Every moment of love and emotion has nowhere to go.
Just by reading the lyric summary, Chen Jingchi can feel the undeniable sadness flowing through the text.
This is a song with lyrics focused on minority groups, recording the helplessness of facing the loss of memory of loved ones with whom they spend every day.
Chen Jingchi did not think that Zhou Yu could write a poem with such a precise and insightful grasp of the theme of "humanity" out of thin air.
Five minutes after the lyrics were sent, Chen Jingchi replied.
Chen: [Wishing the elderly person a speedy recovery]
He didn't ask anything else.
Zhou Yu thought that he could understand the emotions in her lyrics just as she understood him.
Before I could reply, another message popped up.
Chen: [Are you coming to watch our rehearsal?]
Zhou Yu: [Where are you?]
Chen: [The previous rehearsal room]
Zhou wanted to reply "okay" and planned to go there as soon as she returned to school.
Chen Jingchi sent another message.
Chen: [What time will you be back?]
Zhou Yu: [It might be around six o'clock]
Chen: [What do you want to eat tonight?]
Zhou Yu: [Not yet]
Chen: [I'll bring you one.]
Zhou paused his typing and remained silent for a moment.
There's more news.
Chen: [Should we ask Tan Bei to come and keep you company?]
Even if she's slow to realize it, she'll figure it out by now.
Chen Jingchi was trying to comfort her.
-----------------------
Author's note: Thank you for the nutrient solution, everyone!!
Reader "y1" irrigated with nutrient solution +5
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