Chapter 63, Old Love Letters, ends here.
They had nothing left to talk about.
Zhou Yu looked away from him, turning away, her tense nerves still daring not to relax even for a moment. She added in a low voice, "Don't message me anymore."
She couldn't bear to see words expressing longing, as they would only make her already crumbling facade even more shattered.
But before she could take her first step, the person behind her hugged her tightly.
He held her tightly in his arms, burying his face in her hair at the side of her neck. Only by doing this could he keep her there, even for a second.
"Zhou Yu." His voice was choked with rapid breathing as he murmured, "You're all I have left."
He didn't dare tell her not to leave, because that was the root of their problems.
At that moment, a surge of emotions overwhelmed Zhou Yu, and she could no longer control herself; tears welled up in her eyes.
She raised her hand and quickly wiped it clean with her sleeve, leaving no trace.
In his arms, her willpower crumbled, and she nearly collapsed.
She could no longer utter those hurtful words. Her cold hand covered the back of his hand, trying to pry his fingers open, but he was too strong and held on tightly.
"I'm not that important to you anymore."
She couldn't bear to hurt him anymore, so she turned the spear on herself.
This time it was her turn to beg him, "Please let me go."
Chen Jingchi was at his wit's end. He had tried everything, but he could only hold her for less than half a minute. He knew clearly that if he let go, he would lose her completely.
Zhou Yu's sleeve was already soaked.
They remained deadlocked for a long time.
As the arms holding her loosened their grip and Chen Jingchi's breath gradually dissipated, he uttered his last words to her.
“I’ve never lied to you since I met you,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I really love you.”
She's the one who's been lying all along.
She's also someone who can't bring herself to be romantically involved.
Zhou tried her best to keep herself from making a sound, and walked forward step by step, leaving him standing there alone.
Fan Xin and An Kejia, who were waiting for her at the back door of the classroom, burst into tears when they saw her walking over.
Just like the night before last, when she cried, she only shed tears, without making a sound, which was heartbreaking to see.
An Kejia quickly took out tissues from her bag and wiped away her tears. Fan Xin saw that she hadn't stopped walking and, afraid that she might trip on the stairs, quickly put her arm around her, saying, "Slow down, slow down."
The walk to the cafeteria took several minutes, during which the two took turns comforting her, finally managing to stop Zhou Yu's tears. An Kejia held her hand, touching her cold palm, and couldn't help but softly ask, "Are you alright?"
Zhou Yu kept his head down, looking at his feet, his face expressionless, and his voice flat: "It's alright."
Although she seemed to have recovered, she was still deeply trapped in her emotions, and anything related to Chen Jingchi would easily affect her.
Fan Xin and An Kejia had no idea why Zhou Yu and Chen Jingchi had broken up. They had thought they might get back together after a while, but after seeing what had just happened, they were both worried.
They didn't even argue, they just exchanged a few words, so why did that make her so upset?
It wasn't until they returned to their dorm after class in the afternoon and saw that Zhou Yu had registered for the IELTS exam next month that they finally guessed the reason.
"I heard from the class monitor this morning that he's also taking the IELTS exam," Fan Xin asked. "Are you two going to participate in that master's program in Ireland?"
An Kejia served as the Minister of Organization in her sophomore year and was promoted to Secretary-General of the Student Union in her junior year. In addition to being responsible for arranging meetings, she also had to handle all sorts of miscellaneous daily tasks, keeping her extremely busy. She didn't care much about things related to studying abroad and asked, "What is this?"
"It means going abroad to study after finishing the third year of undergraduate studies, and then continuing to pursue a master's degree overseas."
Fan Xin knew because she also had the idea of studying abroad and had seen the announcement of the program on the college's website. Unfortunately, only five people were selected each year, and her grades were far from meeting the requirements.
An Kejia asked in surprise, "Zhou Zhou, are you going abroad?"
Although it hasn't been officially registered yet, it's basically confirmed. Zhou Yu nodded: "Mm."
An Kejia and Fan Xin exchanged a glance, finally getting some clues.
*
After hearing her words, Chen Jingchi stopped sending her messages.
That evening, Chen Jingchi's stylist sent Zhou Yu a merged chat log containing photos of the performance costumes selected by the costume team.
He always lets her choose her outfits before each concert, and this time was no exception. They were also explaining that several outfits would be provided by collaborating luxury brands, but since they weren't publicly available, they couldn't get photos of them yet.
Zhou Yu waited until she finished sending the message before replying: 【Let him choose】
The other party assumed she was unavailable and said there was no rush.
Zhou Yu could only vaguely mention: "I don't care about this anymore."
She knew very well that once this message was sent, his staff would be the first to notice something was wrong.
A day later, on Wednesday morning during class, Zhou Yu's phone screen lit up and several messages popped up.
Zhuo Wencheng posted a photo of his suitcase in the group chat of six people.
Zhuo Wencheng: [I've brought everything you said, @Tan Bei]
Tan Bei: [How many days are you going this time?]
Zhan Li: [Six or seven days, but if I fly directly to Canada after that, it's hard to say.]
Tan Bei: [Then what you have isn't enough, is it?]
Her phone was on silent, but messages kept popping up, keeping the screen lit and attracting Zhou Yu's attention. She briefly drifted out of her lecture, watching them talk about their plans after going to England, and realized that no one else probably knew about their relationship.
Tan Bei: [When are you leaving?]
Zhan Li: [I've arrived at the airport and am waiting to board.]
Tan Bei: [I'll miss you [kiss]]
Zhuo Wencheng: [Only we don't want to @Xu Yue]
She stopped looking and put her phone in her bag.
That evening, Zhou Yu opened Weibo, which she hadn't logged into for a long time. She originally wanted to unfollow Chen Jingchi and Du Heng, but when she saw the small print at the bottom of his account homepage showing that she had been following him for more than 700 days, she felt a pang of reluctance.
In the end, I gave up on the idea.
As long as she doesn't log into this account again, it's fine. Anyway, she hasn't posted anything for more than half a year, so no one except her will care about this detail.
She saw a photo taken by a fan at the airport today. In the photo, Chen Jingchi was dressed casually, wearing sunglasses and a black mask, completely covering his face.
The hand hanging by her side still wore the ring on the middle finger.
Zhou Yu was a little out of breath.
I had already made things very clear to him; all that was missing was saying the words "break up."
Like a lotus root that has been cut, even with such a sharp blade, it is still impossible to sever the countless strands that are stuck together.
She didn't dare look anymore. After exiting, she long-pressed the screen. A window popped up asking her to delete the app. She hesitated for a few seconds but still didn't click confirm.
An Kejia returned home around 10 PM and was just about to sit down for a break when a phone call came in. While getting water from the dispenser, she answered the call: "Senior? How have you been lately?"
She walked to the balcony and closed the glass door.
Just as Zhou Yu was about to rest, An Kejia, who had finished her phone call, came in from the balcony and called out to her, "Zhou Zhou."
She tilted her head and looked over: "Hmm?"
An Kejia walked to her bedside, looked up and said, "Do you remember the former head of the student union's publicity department? Her name was Shang Ziwen."
The name sounded familiar. Zhou Yu took a few seconds to recall: she was the one who organized the filming of Chen Jingchi's interview video during the Jiangchuan University anniversary celebration. The pink mascot that she always kept on her bookshelf was given to her by Shang Ziwen after Chen Jingchi finished filming.
They also added each other on WeChat, and after she finished editing the video, she sent it to her for review.
"I remember," Zhou Yu nodded. "What's wrong?"
An Kejia explained, "After graduating, my senior went to work as a film editor. Her team is all women. A suspenseful romance film they made last year won several awards abroad and they plan to release it in China this summer."
Fan Xin chimed in, "Wow, she's only two years older than us, right?"
"Yes, she was very capable when she was in the student council. The position of president was originally hers, but she was too busy with film crews on set during her senior year and didn't have time to manage this."
After a long preamble, An Kejia finally showed a somewhat troubled expression, "She just called me and said that the director wants to compose a Chinese theme song for the movie, and asked if you would be willing to work with them once."
This is already her revised version of the statement.
During the phone call, Shang Ziwen mentioned that the director had always liked Zhou Yu's lyrics, but no one could contact her. People in the music industry said that she only wrote lyrics for Chen Jingchi, so the director first contacted Chen Jingchi's agent. Unfortunately, he was busy with his world tour and his schedule wouldn't be available until June, while the movie was scheduled to be released at the end of June, so there was definitely not enough time.
When the director was at a loss, Shang Ziwen remembered that a junior she knew well happened to be Zhou Yu's roommate, so she took the initiative to step forward and said she could try to help.
An Kejia quickly added, "She said the director is interested in you and only wants your lyrics. The singer hasn't been decided yet, and Chen Jingchi has already declined to sing due to scheduling conflicts."
Hearing the last sentence, he didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Zhou Yu remained silent for a moment, and finally agreed out of consideration for An Kejia.
“Then I’ll send you your WeChat message!” An Kejia said.
A few minutes later, Zhou Yu received a message from Shang Ziwen.
Shang Ziwen: [Oh dear, what an idiot! I completely forgot we were friends!]
Shang Ziwen: [I'm sorry, I should have asked you first.]
Zhou Yu: [It's nothing]
Shang Ziwen: [Our director really admires you and said he'll accept any price you name.]
Shang Ziwen: [You can watch our videos first before deciding.]
Barring any unforeseen circumstances, this will be her last work under the pen name "Zhou Yu," as she doesn't want to measure it in monetary terms.
She once wrote in the introduction of Chen Jingchi's second album single "Sleeping City":
"I will disappear from the world."
No trace was left.
How can I prove that I was here?
Who will give meaning to my existence?
She wanted this final song to be the "meaning" of her existence.
Zhou wanted to reply to her: "I don't want payment, I'll send it to you when it's finished."
Shang Ziwen sent over several exclamation marks.
Zhou Yu: [I also admire your independent and free spirit.]
Zhou Yu: [Consider this a gift for your team.]
She knew that making movies was difficult, and that it was even more difficult when all the work was done by a female team.
Shang Ziwen sent over a crying emoji.
Zhou Yu spent an entire night watching the film. The protagonist traveled through time several times to try to save his lover, but ultimately missed his chance, a story that brought tears to her eyes. The female director's unique perspective made the emotions more delicate and gripping, deeply moving her.
However, writing the lyrics didn't go very smoothly. For the first half of April, she was preparing for the IELTS speaking test. After taking the written test in the middle of the month, she had to rush to prepare various application materials before the registration deadline.
On the 25th, she finally found the time to finish writing the lyrics, polished them, and sent the file to the director, who once again expressed his gratitude to her.
On the same afternoon, the college's official website published the list of recommended students for this year's "3+1+2" undergraduate and master's degree programs in Ireland.
When Zhou Yu's name appeared on the list, someone took a screenshot and posted it in the school's chat group, which instantly sparked heated discussions.
This day happened to be the day the group finished their Sydney concert and returned home. After three consecutive performances, they had circled almost half of the earth and were finally able to go home.
As soon as Du Heng connected to the WiFi, messages popped up one after another, one of which was from the assistant director of "Misplaced Love".
[Hello Mr. Du, Ms. Zhou's lyrics are finished. Will Mr. Chen still be responsible for the music and vocals?]
Du Heng glanced at the chat history between the two people and understood as soon as he saw the name "Ms. Zhou". It seemed that the assistant felt that it was not feasible to persuade Chen Jingchi, so she persuaded Zhou Yu instead. He thought to himself that the young girl was quite smart.
In fact, the production team considered that the two were a couple and assumed they would work together, which is why they asked that question.
Du Heng woke up Chen Jingchi, who had just put on his blindfold.
Having been traveling non-stop abroad for nearly a month, he was not eating well and had little sleep. Even someone as energetic as Chen Jingchi couldn't keep up. He fell asleep as soon as he boarded the plane, and was asleep in less than a minute.
"It's related to Zhou Yu," Du Heng said in a low voice. "You make the decision."
Upon hearing the name, the drowsiness in Chen Jingchi's eyes dissipated, and he listened to Du Heng's brief explanation.
"Time is tight, and I have to go abroad again next month." Du Heng was worried that he was too tired, but he also knew that Zhou Yu had written the lyrics, so he would agree to it no matter how busy he was.
Sure enough, he nodded.
“Then I’ll reply to her,” Du Heng said. “If there’s really no time, have the company find someone to compose the music, and you can sing it.”
Chen Jingchi shook his head: "No need, I can do it myself."
He hadn't contacted Zhou Yu for a long time. Every night before bed, he would open their chat history and see that the last message he sent a month ago was "I miss you so much".
I think about it every time I see it.
He wanted to hear her voice, to see her, even just to get a reply from her.
But he knew that the messages he sent would all disappear without a trace.
Sometimes he wondered what this world tour had actually brought him. It was an opportunity he had fought for, and he wanted to fulfill his promise to Zhou Yu as soon as possible. He had been preparing for it for several months, releasing an English single and performing abroad. All of this had taken up every last drop of his time, leaving him with less and less attention to focus on her.
You can discard all of that.
Even without the tour, if he spent all his time by her side, would Zhou Yu still choose to leave him?
He dared not delve deeper into any possible answer.
Upon landing at the airport, the driver was already waiting outside. On the way back to school, Zhuo Wencheng casually checked his messages and noticed that there was a group on campus discussing Chen Jingchi and Zhou Yu in an online secondhand goods exchange group.
[They must have broken up since they both went abroad. Didn't someone say they saw Zhou Yu crying on the street before?]
[What's wrong with going abroad? Chen Jingchi has been overseas this month, hasn't he?]
They can't possibly break up unless they've made enough money.
They haven't collaborated since their domestic tour ended last year. Do they seem focused on making money?
[Wasn't it supposed to be a fourth album released this year? Can't you write lyrics abroad too?]
Chen Jingchi himself never said he would release a song this year. He's currently busy expanding into overseas markets, so he doesn't have the time or inclination to write songs.
Zhuo Wencheng became increasingly suspicious and asked in the group chat: "What are you guys talking about?"
He didn't change his group nickname, so nobody knew who he was. A kind group member sent him a screenshot: [See for yourself]
He was shocked when he saw it and quickly called over the people next to him to come and see: "Really? Brother Chi, do you know anything about this?"
Chen Jingchi glanced at it and remained silent.
"Could something issued by the academy be fake?" Zhan Li said. "Really?"
Xu Yue, recalling their previous argument, asked, "Is this what you were talking about?"
Zhuo Wencheng didn't understand: "No, why would Zhou Yu go abroad for no reason? Is her major supposed to be teaching Chinese to foreigners after graduation?"
Seeing that Chen Jingchi's condition was getting worse, Du Heng told them to just let them know and not to talk about it.
Zhan Li found it strange. He thought the two had made up a long time ago, but now it seemed that the problem had not been resolved at all. Chen Jingchi's reaction clearly showed that he already knew.
He quickly messaged Tan Bei, asking her to find out where Zhou Yu was.
Tan Bei asked, bewildered: "Why are you looking for my baby?"
Zhan Li: [Why would I want to see her? It's Chi Ge who's looking for her!]
Tan Bei: [Then ask him himself!]
Zhan Li: [Don't worry about it, just ask him for him.]
Tan Bei had no choice but to ask for help.
Two minutes later.
Tan Bei: [She said she would go to the convenience store to buy daily necessities right away.]
Zhan Li: [Which convenience store?]
Tan Bei: [The Whole Family]
Zhan Li asked Xu Yue, seemingly casually, "Brother Yue, have you ever been to FamilyMart?"
Xu Yue asked curiously, "Where is the whole family from?"
“The one next to the student apartments,” Zhan Li said. “Beibei said her baby is going there later.”
Xu Yue was amused by his clumsy acting and urged the driver to drive faster: "We have to hurry!"
The car stopped at the school gate, and Chen Jingchi was the first to get out as soon as the gate opened. Du Heng, still unaware of what was going on, called out to him, "Where are you going? Aren't you going back to your apartment?"
Xu Yue was the last to get off the bus. He patted Du Heng on the shoulder and said, "Brother, Bei Bei's baby is Zhou Yu."
Du Heng was speechless: "What kind of garbage is this!"
*
After handing over the lyrics she had written to the director in the afternoon, Zhou Yu wanted to take a nap, but then her period started.
Around 7:00, she was about to take a shower when she realized she had run out of overnight sanitary napkins. An Kejia wasn't there, and Fan Xin was still researching at the library. Zhou Yu decided to go downstairs to the convenience store to buy some.
Her periods were irregular, but the regularity was that she would experience pain on the first day. The painkillers hadn't worked, so she lay on the table, unwilling to move, wanting to wait until the pain subsided before going out.
Closing her eyes, she inevitably recalled the past. They didn't have many opportunities to meet, and the number of times Chen Jingchi's period coincided with hers could be counted on one hand, which made him always feel that her period was mysterious and very sensible, always avoiding when they were together.
During this period, whenever she stopped, she would think of him uncontrollably, which had almost become a habit. Realizing that she was thinking of him again, Zhou Yu shook her head, trying to clear her mind.
The phone rang once; it was the director.
[Baby, the lyrics have been given to Teacher Chen! Looking forward to working with you all~]
Zhou Yu was momentarily stunned when she saw the words "Teacher Chen". Just as she was about to ask which Teacher Chen it was, Tan Bei's message popped up, asking where she was now.
She only had the strength to reply to Tan Bei. After a few minutes, she felt a little better and got up to go to the convenience store.
After choosing the sanitary napkins, she also grabbed some food. As she was about to unlock her phone at the cashier, Zhou Yu heard a "beep" sound, and the screen displayed that the payment was complete.
She turned her head in a daze and saw Chen Jingchi put his phone away. The cashier looked at him with surprise and handed him the shopping bag with a smile.
He carried her in his hand, grabbed Zhou Yu's wrist, and led her out of the convenience store.
Zhou Yu followed him for several meters before she came to her senses. She suddenly snatched the shopping bag from his hand, her voice urgent and angry: "Chen Jingchi!"
Why did he come again?!
She thought she had made herself clear enough last time.
"I haven't seen you for a month." Chen Jingchi stood behind a streetlamp, his voice soft. "I miss you every day."
People coming in and out of the convenience store cast curious glances at them, and some even stopped to watch. Zhou Yu suppressed his emotions and turned to walk to the other end of the road.
Chen Jingchi followed closely behind her.
There were many students coming and going on the road at this time, and the two of them walking one after the other were very conspicuous. Several girls passing by asked in low voices if that was Chen Jingchi. When Zhou Yu heard this, she unconsciously quickened her pace.
Once they reached a secluded spot, Zhou Yu turned around. She had composed herself as she walked, and now, facing him, her earlier panic was no longer visible.
She didn't want to exchange pleasantries with him and went straight to the address: "Are you Teacher Chen?"
Chen Jingchi didn't understand: "What Teacher Chen?"
"The theme song from 'Misplaced Love'." Zhou Yu looked up at him and asked, "Did you compose and sing it?"
Chen Jingchi thought of what happened on the plane and admitted, "Yes."
Zhou Yu gripped the handle of the shopping bag tightly, trying to keep her voice steady, but perhaps because his appearance was so sudden and she wasn't fully prepared, her voice tightened: "Weren't you supposed to be unavailable? Weren't you busy with your tour? How come you suddenly have time when you heard I was writing lyrics?"
Chen Jingchi frowned; she seemed to have misunderstood. Just as he was about to explain, Zhou Yu called his name.
"I'm not writing lyrics anymore." She fought back tears and said, "This is the last one. I won't write any more, Chen Jingchi. Do you understand what I mean?"
She could no longer control the trembling in her voice.
Perhaps it was the hormonal influence during her period, perhaps it was the pent-up emotions that finally erupted, or perhaps it was his actions that left her utterly disappointed.
She lost control.
“Zhou Yu…”
She gave him no chance to speak. Her reason was slowly being consumed. She choked out, "I can't give you what you want anymore. Let me go and find someone else, okay?"
Chen Jingchi saw her tears rolling down her cheeks, each one hitting his heart hard.
"Let's break up," she said, her voice thick with tears. "Chen Jingchi, this is the end. Don't come looking for me again."
The words she had been afraid to utter were like a sword hanging over her head, which finally fell in this second, leaving no chance of survival.
-----------------------
Author's Note: Thank you so much for the landmines and nutrient solutions, everyone!
vonne :) threw a landmine
Reader "Yvonne :)" irrigated with nutrient solution +5
Reader "Yvonne :)" irrigated with nutrient solution +20
Reader "Eight Treasures Vegetable" watered the plant with nutrient solution +20
Reader "Lily" watered with nutrient solution +5
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