Chapter 64: Old love letters taught me how to fall deeply in love.
This was the first time Chen Jingchi had seen her shed tears in front of him.
When she told him she wanted to leave, when she told him she didn't want to be friends anymore, she remained calm and indifferent, as if this relationship was nothing more than a two-year-long love play she had acted in with him. When the time came, the script turned to the last page, and she promptly withdrew without a trace of regret.
It wasn't until this moment that Chen Jingchi realized that she was also sad.
His heart shattered into countless pieces, like being pricked by needles, like being slashed by knives. A dense, persistent pain invaded his entire body along his limbs and bones, seemingly without end.
Chen Jingchi moved closer and raised his hand to wipe away her tears, but he couldn't wipe them all away. His fingers and palms were wet and burning.
Her tears made him lose all dignity, and he no longer had the right to make demands. He surrendered to her, and to himself, completely.
"I promise you," he said, his voice hoarse, trying to comfort her. "Don't cry."
He was most afraid of hurting her, so he preferred to let her go.
*
Around 8 o'clock, Zhan Li asked the four of them in the group chat if they had made up.
Chen Jingchi has not responded.
When Xu Yue saw him in the classroom on Monday, he was startled by the dark circles under his eyes and asked, "Have you not slept for the past two days?"
He barely slept. During the day, he was writing and recording songs at the company. Zhou Yu's lyrics were quite different from his usual vibrant style, filled with regret and sorrow, which inexplicably resonated with Chen Jingchi's state of mind.
He didn't dare go back to his apartment that night, so he spent the night in the company's break room and didn't sleep a wink.
He was afraid that if he went back, he would see the things she had left in the apartment and that would trigger his emotions.
Seeing that his condition was even worse than when he came back that day, Xu Yue lowered his voice and asked, "Are you still arguing?"
Chen Jingchi finally spoke: "The arguing has stopped."
Then came another sentence: "We broke up."
Xu Yue's eyes widened, unable to believe what he had just heard: "Break up?"
He didn't react.
Seeing his expression, Xu Yue guessed that Zhou Yu must have brought it up first. He didn't understand and asked, "It's not like you can't have a long-distance relationship. Why do you have to break up?"
“That’s not the reason,” he said.
Xu Yue pressed further, "What is that?"
Chen Jingchi did not respond.
With only two shows left on the World Tour, they left school again in early May.
Zhou Yu returned to Xianhai. Liu Xianya's injuries had fully recovered, and she submitted her resignation to the hospital. The resignation process at this private hospital was not complicated, and her colleagues in the department were reluctant to part with her, so they held a farewell party for her.
After the farewell party in the evening, Zhou Yu and Zhou Jinglong went to pick up Liu Xianya to go home. On the way, she mentioned that a colleague's relative had immigrated to the UK and that their previous family doctor had resigned for some reason, and they had not been able to find a suitable Chinese doctor. She asked if Liu Xianya wanted to give it a try.
“She said the salary is quite high, and she can help with the work visa application,” Liu Xianya said. “I checked, and it’s quite close to where Xiaobao goes to school, only an hour’s flight away.”
This was probably the best news Zhou Yu had heard in the past few months.
“Then let’s give it a try. If it doesn’t work out, we can treat it as a trip,” Zhou Jinglong said.
“But she told me that things are quite urgent over there,” Liu Xianya added, “and asked if I could go there as soon as possible, as I need to arrive in early June.”
"Early June? Xiao Bao hasn't started his holiday yet, has he?" Zhou Jinglong looked over.
“You guys go first,” Zhou Yu said. “My major courses finished early this semester, and I’ll probably finish my exams in mid-June. I’ll go over then.”
Liu Xianya was worried about her safety going abroad alone, but Zhou Yu shook her head and said, "It's okay, my English is alright, but it's you two."
“I’ve been learning English lately, okay?” Liu Xianya laughed. “I’ve even memorized those few simple sentences.”
She showed the two of them her learning results, and Zhou Jinglong praised her, saying, "The AI teacher is really good; there's not a single accent."
He himself wasn't very good at English, so how could he tell if someone had an accent? Zhou Yu smiled slightly and didn't expose him.
Not long after, Liu Xianya asked her about it again: "What did you say to Xiao Chen?"
Zhou Yu was stunned for a moment before answering, "I broke up with him peacefully."
"Huh?" Zhou Jinglong, acting as the only outsider, asked, "Didn't you say you had a good chat last time?"
“He’s very busy with work, we’re not a good match.” She lowered her head.
Liu Xianya didn't say a word, but reached out and hugged her, sighing, "Look ahead, Xiaobao, you are both doing well, it's just that you weren't meant to be."
Zhou Yu's heart was already numb. She nodded lightly and said, "I know."
*
At the end of May, Chen Jingchi's world tour came to a close, and at 10 p.m. that night, a hashtag quietly climbed onto the trending search list.
#When will Chen Jingchi and Zhou Yu collaborate again?#
The online discussion was quite heated.
[From the second half of last year until now, it's all English songs. The only city promotional song they released didn't make a splash at all. Chen Jingchi, are you really confused or just pretending?]
There's been no news from the fourth major, and no news from my sister-in-law either. Her body rests peacefully, cold and still.
Stop saying he's busy dating; Zhou Yu hasn't been to Seattle or Kuala Lumpur even once.
People say they broke up every day, and every now and then they trend on social media for showing off their love. It's been three months since the last time, so it's about time.
Don't worry, Chen Jingchi is still using the in-ear monitor and microphone his sister-in-law gave him. Don't believe or spread rumors.
At this time, Chen Jingchi had no time to read the comments online. After the world tour ended, he had to go to the recording studio as soon as possible to record the six English songs he covered at the concert. In June, he had many award ceremonies to attend and had to prepare for the end-of-term performance. All sorts of things piled up, leaving him no chance to catch his breath.
In late June, just after the performance ended, before he had even left the concert hall, he saw a photo sent by Tan Bei in the group chat.
Tan Bei: [She's gone]
The photo, when clicked, showed four girls at the airport. Zhou Yu smiled faintly at the camera, while Tan Bei, who was hugging her, looked reluctant to part, her brows furrowed.
Tan Bei wasn't the only one seeing Zhou Yu off at the airport; her two roommates were also there. On the way, Tan Bei said with a smile, "On such an important day, Chen Jingchi didn't even come to see you off?"
Fan Xin and An Kejia were immediately startled and quickly gave Tan Bei a meaningful look, but she didn't understand and asked in surprise, "What's wrong?"
Zhou Yu felt guilty for keeping it from her for so long and took the initiative to confess: "We broke up."
Tan Bei asked blankly, "What separation?"
An Kejia secretly put her two index fingers together, and Fan Xin broke them in the middle, giving her a hint.
Tan Bei was shocked: "Ah?!"
She knew that Zhou Yu's appearance on the exchange student list not long ago had sparked speculation about a breakup, but she never thought it would be true.
“It’s been a long time,” Zhou Yuchao said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Tan Bei was still in shock and hadn't recovered when she suddenly remembered that Zhan Li had asked her to help find out where Zhou Yu was. Perhaps there was already a problem back then.
Studying abroad is not something that can be decided in a short time; she thought Zhou Yu must have made preparations a long time ago.
Since the beginning of this semester, she and Zhan Li have only met a handful of times. Tan Bei always thought that distance and time were nothing to Chen Jingchi and Zhou Yu, since the two had always had this way of getting along.
I never expected it to end like this.
She dared not mention Chen Jingchi again and hugged Zhou Yu tightly beside her.
After seeing her off this time, they didn't know when they would see each other again. They took a lot of photos at the airport. Tan Bei really didn't want to part with her. Zhou Yu said she might not come back during the holidays, and she said she would go to Ireland instead.
Zhou Yu smiled and said okay.
Watching her board the plane and the plane take off, Tan Bei found the six-person group chat, clicked in, and only then did she realize that the (6) after the group chat name had changed to (5) at some point.
She withdrew quietly.
Chen Jingchi stared at the photo for a long time.
Clicking into the pinned chat window leads to her Moments. Zhou Yu only posted two updates, both showing off the birthday gifts Tan Bei gave her.
The photos that were viewable yesterday have disappeared, leaving only a light gray horizontal line.
*
On June 30th, the movie "Misplaced Love" was released in major cinemas across China. At 10 a.m. that day, Chen Jingchi, who had not updated his social media for nearly two months, finally posted on Weibo.
@Chen Jingchi:
Someone is trapped in it.
Some people say things they don't mean.
[Web link] [Hesitant to speak]
As soon as the new song "Hesitation to Speak" was released, related terms immediately climbed to the top of the trending search list. Not long ago, netizens were still wondering when the two would collaborate again, and a month later they finally got a response.
[The lyrics were written by Zhou Yu! We career-oriented fans are finally feeling better [crying]]
[I really need to come out and debunk this rumor. Look how vicious everyone in the square is!]
[You've actually started writing sad love songs? That's so unlike you two!]
May my brother and sister-in-law be happy forever! Hurry up and release their fourth album, I want to give them a wedding gift!
When Chen Jingchi released the song, he was on a plane returning to Xianhai from Jiangbei. Du Heng was arranging an appointment for him to have his vocal cords checked that afternoon.
During the latter half of this world tour, Chen Jingchi continued to give his all on stage, performing as usual wherever the cameras could capture him. However, his private condition was not good, and he hadn't even returned to his apartment since April, instead staying in the company's lounge.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to call it escapism.
Du Heng was worried that his body couldn't handle it, so he told him to take advantage of his trip back to Xianhai to record the gala and get a check-up as soon as possible.
"Wasn't the doctor you saw before surnamed Liu?" Du Heng looked through the appointment registration list, puzzled, "Why isn't he here?"
Chen Jingchi announced the name: "Liu Xianya".
"Really not? She was transferred to another hospital?" Du Heng handed over his phone. "Check it yourself."
Chen Jingchi glanced at it. He wouldn't be staying in Xianhai for more than a few days. He said, "Let's hang up someone else's for now."
Du Heng had no choice but to book an appointment for him with another Dr. Zhao this afternoon.
After he finished, he turned around and saw Chen Jingchi staring blankly at the ring on his middle finger. Somewhat helplessly, he advised, "Why don't you take it off?"
These past few days, Du Heng has often seen him staring blankly at the ring, and he's feeling quite uneasy. Chen Jingchi has been so busy these past two months since breaking up with Zhou Yu that he hasn't had time to think about anything else, which seems normal.
He's experienced heartbreak before, and he knows that only when you have free time can you truly understand how painful and unbearable the aftereffects can be.
There are already signs.
Chen Jingchi neither responded nor made a move.
So far, very few people know that he and Zhou Yu have broken up; everyone still thinks they are together, and Chen Jingchi seems to be still immersed in this illusion.
He hadn't even subconsciously accepted the fact that Zhou Yu was no longer in the country.
Du Heng didn't try to persuade him anymore, and silently prayed that he could get over it soon.
In the afternoon, Chen Jingchi arrived at the hospital wearing a hat and mask, accompanied by Du Heng.
Zhao Xiaoyan glanced at the name on the medical record, then at the person sitting in front of her, and asked, "Are you that singing star?"
Du Heng was surprised that a doctor knew him and answered for him.
Seeing that Chen Jingchi took off his mask expressionlessly, Zhao Xiaoyan didn't say anything more.
During her examination, Du Heng casually asked, "Where did Dr. Liu Xianya go?"
After all, she had been treating him since his senior year of high school, so Du Heng thought it would be better to go to her doctor in the future.
“Oh, she resigned a while ago and went abroad with her daughter.” Zhao Xiaoyan is easygoing and enjoys chatting with patients. Suddenly, she remembered something and said, “Oh, her daughter and your girlfriend seem to have the same name.”
Zhao Xiaoyan's daughter is a huge fan of Chen Jingchi and even taught her to buy his albums. When his relationship was exposed, she asked Liu Xianya about the name, only to find out that they were not the same person.
Chen Jingchi seemed to have triggered a key phrase: "Who?"
Zhao Xiaoyan laughed: "Zhou Yu."
Du Heng was startled and quickly asked, "Which Zhou Yu?"
Zhao Xiaoyan was puzzled by his question: "It's just that we have the same name, don't get agitated."
Du Heng and Chen Jingchi exchanged a glance. He scrolled through his phone's photo album to find a group photo he had taken of them before, zoomed in on Zhou Yu's face, and brought it close to the doctor's face, asking, "Is this it?"
Zhao Xiaoyan exclaimed, "Oh dear! It's her! How did you get her picture? Could it be...?"
Before she could even begin to have doubts, Chen Jingchi suddenly spoke up: "Is this Dr. Liu's daughter?"
“Yes, it’s Liu Xianya.” Zhao Xiaoyan’s doubts were quickly dispelled by this sentence. She pushed his phone away and said, “Don’t delay my examination. Open your mouth so I can take another look.”
Du Heng wanted to say something, but when he turned around and saw Chen Jingchi's blank look, he guessed that Chen Jingchi had only just found out about this as well.
After the inspection was completed, Chen Jingchi asked again, "You just said she went abroad with her daughter?"
“It wasn’t together,” Zhao Xiaoyan explained. “She and her husband went there at the beginning of the month, and from what she said, I guess they’re not coming back.”
Chen Jingchi frowned: "What do you mean by not coming back?"
“She had asked me about immigration before,” Zhao Xiaoyan said. “Her whole family went there, so they probably plan to stay in Europe.”
Chen Jingchi's mind went completely blank for a moment, then began to buzz.
He had always been puzzled as to why Zhou Yu was in such a hurry to leave after her junior year. She should have started preparing for studying abroad in her senior year, when she had more countries and schools to choose from.
It wasn't until Zhao Xiaoyan's words woke him up.
In his mind, Zhou Yu was just going abroad to study for a master's degree, and she would come back after three years, at which time he would have a chance to pursue her again.
But unexpectedly, the three-year period turned into an indefinite one.
She may never come back.
Realizing this, Chen Jingchi felt dizzy and unsteady on his feet.
Seeing his vacant eyes, as if he had lost his mind, Du Heng sensed something was wrong and told the doctor to quickly finish writing the prescription and take him away from there.
"Don't think the worst," Du Heng comforted him in the car. "Immigration isn't that easy. If green cards were so easy to get, wouldn't everyone be going abroad?"
He remained as still as a statue, seemingly oblivious.
Du Heng took him home. As soon as he entered the door, he immediately saw the box containing Zhou Yu's hair tie and condoms on the coffee table. He quickly went in first, picked it up, and put it in the least frequently opened cabinet in the entryway so that Zhou Yu wouldn't see it.
But even if we take these away, there might be even more elsewhere. Zhou Yu rarely stays here, yet he bought a lot of daily necessities, and even filled almost half of his wardrobe with her clothes.
There's a graduation party being broadcast live in a couple of days, and Du Heng was worried that he wouldn't get enough rest staying here alone, so he suggested that he stay at the hotel with him.
Chen Jingchi's voice was hoarse: "No need."
Du Heng stood in the living room and called his aunt, asking her to come over and cook dinner.
Fearing that Chen Jingchi wouldn't eat after he left, Du Heng stayed to eat with him. Only after seeing that Chen Jingchi didn't do anything unusual did he dare to leave.
Before leaving, I earnestly advised him: "Call me or them when you're feeling down. Don't bear it all alone. You'll feel better after a while."
He gave a low "hmm," but it was unclear whether he actually heard him.
There is a seven-hour time difference between China and the UK.
Chen Jingchi waited until 1 a.m. before making the call.
She deleted him from both of their only means of communication, WeChat and QQ. Only his phone number remained; it's unclear whether she had blocked him.
The phone rang for a long time until it was hung up.
Undeterred, he dialed a second time, a third time...
He lost count of how many times the dial tone rang, waiting patiently. Then, the mechanical sound disappeared, and a faint sound came through the receiver.
Before Chen Jingchi could speak, a woman's voice came: "Little Chen, I am Xiaoyu's mother."
He recognized the voice. He had been smoking and drinking during the first semester of his senior year of high school, which caused his vocal cords to become inflamed. He had been seeing a doctor there for four years.
She had performed so many examinations on him, yet Chen Jingchi remained unaware that she was Zhou Yu's mother.
He vaguely thought that perhaps this was why Zhou Yu was unwilling to introduce him to her family.
"Wait a minute, I'll go get her to come pick me up," she said.
Chen Jingchi replied with an "okay," feeling his heart pounding heavily in his chest. He knew this was his last chance, a chance hanging by a thread.
Half a minute later, he finally heard Zhou Yu's voice, who calmly asked him if something was wrong.
He had so much he wanted to say to her, but it was all stuck in his throat. Chen Jingchi could only pick one question to ask: "Will you come back in the future?"
"What if I never come back?"
"I've been waiting."
She had given him a heads-up, but he refused to believe it.
After a few seconds of silence, Zhou Yu spoke softly: "Whether I go back or not is none of your business."
Chen Jingchi leaned back on the sofa, letting the glaring light sting his eyes.
His voice was deep: "It's related."
He was afraid she would be sad, but she felt the same way.
He twisted his ankle while practicing dance too fast; he climbed to the top of the mountain alone; he fell off the lift.
Her red-rimmed eyes and worried expression couldn't possibly be fake.
"Zhou Yu." His voice began to tremble, concealing a suppressed emotion. "Was 'Hesitant to Speak' written for me?"
"Joy and Pain"
Loneliness and Heartbeat
Some people are deeply involved.
Some people are not telling the truth.
"A short and absurd dream"
It taught me to fall deeply in love.
Too many excuses
How long did it take to piece it together?
Love to the end
Who is more nostalgic than whom?
Every word she uttered was a heartfelt expression of unspoken feelings.
He was determined to verify the information and didn't want to miss any clues.
There was a long silence in my ears.
Time ticked by, like a silent, agonizing death. He didn't know how long he had waited, but the answer was now crystal clear. Chen Jingchi's Adam's apple bobbed, his voice hoarse, and with his last ounce of strength, he asked her, "You really don't love me?"
She seemed oblivious to his extreme distress and asked in return, "Do you know what love is?"
His breathing became very heavy.
He heard her cool voice say, "Chen Jingchi, I wish you a bright future."
The phone call abruptly ended.
He raised his hand to cover his bloodshot eyes.
-----------------------
Author's Note: Thank you so much for the landmines and nutrient solutions, everyone!!! [Purple Heart][Pink Heart]
Sloth threw a landmine.
Yvonne :) threw a landmine
Reader "Yvonne :)" irrigated with nutrient solution +5
Reader "Yvonne :)" irrigated with nutrient solution +20
Reader "Yunyun." irrigated with nutrient solution +18
Reader "Yun Tun Han Han" watered the plant with 15 nutrient solution.
Reader "Lily" watered with nutrient solution +5
Reader "Qiqiqiqi" added 1 unit of nutrient solution to the water.
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