Chapter 264 Thoughts

As long as you don't feel embarrassed, then the only ones who will feel embarrassed are others.

So Su Yun, who was now thinking about settling the score with Chen Boyang, nodded calmly as a greeting, and then continued to walk up with Chen Boyang.

It was already dusk, and the lights at the corner of the stairs were not on yet. For a moment, Zhuang Long, with his back to the small window on the stairs, was completely shrouded in shadow, with a gloomy expression.

When he came to Su Yun's house before, he had been "jealous" with the children who were younger than him, but the relationship between them was just good friends, so those jealousies were always a bit of idle jokes, no matter whether the result was a win or a loss.

Unfortunately, the carefree and carefree life that was once like this seemed to have turned into an inextricable tangled mess because of that unexpected close contact.

Even though he had told her not long ago that she should spend more time interacting with young people of the same age instead of focusing on him, an old friend who was much older than her...but why, when he really saw her interacting with young people of the same age, he didn't feel relieved as expected?

Obviously, when I saw her joking with Keanu, I didn't have much resistance in my heart...

After all, Zhuang Long had been through a lot and had worked his way up from the bottom. He was not the kind of person who was unwilling to face the situation and forced himself to deceive others, so after thinking for a while, he quickly came to a conclusion.

The reason why he felt uncomfortable was because he understood that Keanu and Su Yun were just ordinary friends, so he didn't feel there was any "threat" at all.

Yes, a threat - he knew that the two had no intention of taking the relationship further, so he didn't mind Su Yun and Keanu, a "young man of the same age", coming into contact.

But this is not the case with Chen Boyang.

This young man has always had feelings for Su Yun. Even though he thinks he has hidden his feelings well, his excessive attention and preference for Su Yun is already known to everyone... Maybe Su Yun has also seen it a long time ago.

However, Su Yun did not express any opinion about it. She seemed to be just pretending to be ignorant and just getting by. It was unknown whether it was really her nature or just because she was young.

Then again - why isn't she treating him the same way now?

Although she only had a grandmother and two adopted sisters since she was a child, she is cheerful and lively and dares to fight, so she has always had relatives and friends who have accompanied her on her journey of growth.

However, he was abandoned at a young age, and as soon as he became sensible, he realized that he had never had a home or family. Even the "Lone" in his name represented loneliness. Because of the skin color and racial barriers, he did not have many true friends.

It can be said that he lived twelve years longer than her, but he was not as free, wanton, and wonderful as she, who was twelve years younger than him.

This physical and psychological imbalance led to the fact that when the two were together, on the surface he was guiding her, but in reality she was pulling him back.

Therefore, even on that unexpected night, she was the one who took the first action, as she was the leader and the one who took the initiative.

However, because of my many concerns and personality, I became the passive one who was forced to accept it.

Just like the natural gap between a pet and its owner, Su Yun has many more besides him; and once he compromises with his inner desires and sinks into oblivion, he can only become a pitiful pet looking up to his only master, desperately waiting for the favor of the man who can never settle down.

He had been abandoned time and again when he was very young: from his biological parents when he was born, to his adoptive mother who rejected him when he was a child because his appearance was different from that of the locals.

They gave him hope for survival, but also the source of lifelong suffering.

In this world, giving yourself completely to another person is the most risky thing to do: once the other person changes his or her mind, what awaits him or her will be an abyss.

When he thought of this, he would rather use various reasons to distance the two of them, and would rather pretend that nothing had happened and maintain the status quo...

Zhuang Long walked downstairs with a heavy heart and put the stack of blank red envelopes in his hand on the coffee table. He was hesitating whether to go upstairs or stay in the living room on the first floor. Suddenly, he was stopped by Grandma Su: "Do you have time? Help me pack the money in these red envelopes?"

It is a custom in the Cantonese region to prepare a large number of red envelopes every Chinese New Year. In addition to large red envelopes for one's own family and younger relatives, there are also personal gifts given by the boss to his employees. Of course, even if the red envelopes are large, they are not as scary as those in some regions where the red envelopes are very expensive, and generally will not cause a lot of trouble.

As for the red envelopes given to employees, they are mostly just a token of appreciation. Five or ten yuan is considered a large amount, and one or two yuan is not uncommon. The main purpose is to get the auspicious meaning of the red envelope.

Therefore, in the Cantonese area, red envelopes are also commonly known as "lai see", which means good luck and good things are coming.

In Hong Kong, as long as you are not married, you are always the one who gets the red envelopes. So when Zhuang Long attended Su Yun's house for the New Year's Eve dinner over the years, he often received red envelopes from Grandma Su.

In the past, Grandma Su could usually install everything by herself. When the Mei sisters wanted to help her, she felt that the two sisters "disdained" her because she was old, and she refused to let others help, insisting on proving that she was still strong enough.

However, Su Yun officially moved into Zhao's company this year, so as a boss, she has to send out red envelopes to employees of the film company and TV station. A conservative estimate is that she will have to prepare thousands of them, so Grandma Su can only accept her old age.

She had asked the Mei sisters to help with some of the installation, but now they were still at work and had not returned home, so Grandma Su decisively captured Zhuang Long, the strong man who had come to her doorstep.

"Speaking of which, you are not young anymore. Do you have a girl you like?" Perhaps because older people always like things that come in pairs, Grandma Su asked casually while putting money into the red envelope.

"I'm still busy with my career and don't have the time to think about other things." Zhuang Long organized his words and answered in a low voice.

"Oh, you are not young anymore. You are thirty years old this year. It is time for you to find someone..." Grandma Su said in a rambling manner.

"Let it be..." No matter how careful a person is, he cannot resist the urging of marriage from relatives and friends. Zhuang Long quickly lowered his head and pretended that he was just working hard.

The previous messy thoughts seemed to have been led astray by Grandma Su and slowly sank deep into my heart.

At the same time, in the large room on the third floor, Su Yun had just asked Chen Boyang to sit down, then took out a large pile of skin care product sets from the cupboard and piled them on the short-legged coffee table between the two of them, and asked him to start drumming together.

"This hand cream and eye cream are both pretty good, would you like to try them?" Su Yun flipped through them casually and handed over two bottles.

Chen Boyang responded, took it obediently, then unscrewed the lid and started applying.

"Why have your hands become so rough recently?" Su Yun asked casually as she saw him lowering his head to apply hand cream.

"Ah?" Chen Boyang, who was concentrating on applying hand cream, was startled by the sudden question. After a confused "ah", he quickly added an explanation, "I've been busy with work recently, so sometimes I don't have time to take care of my hands."

"For those of us who play musical instruments, we need to take good care of not only our faces but also our hands." Su Yun smiled.

"Yeah, I know..." After hearing Su Yun's words, Chen Boyang, who thought he had gotten away with it, blew lightly on the back of his hand that had been coated with hand cream.

When he looked up, he was met with Su Yun's scrutinizing gaze.

He had followed Su Yun's crew more than once - so he was quite familiar with the tyrannical Su Yun's death sight.

After all, in the field of acting, he was a piece of wood that was dragged and carried by his talented friends.

Seeing Su Yun's frank and lenient attitude, Chen Boyang had no choice but to tell her everything that had happened before: from the time when he needed to negotiate the terms of the new contract, to when he knew about Su Yun's difficult situation, to when he saw her and Zhao Liying's resolute figures from afar at Zhao's Cinema that day, to when he finally decided to use his own contract to help Su Yun...

"You sold yourself for eight years just to gain chips for me?" There was no fluctuation in Su Yun's tone.

"Although that's the case, you must not take it to heart." Chen Boyang was so excited that he spoke faster. "It was my own decision. It has nothing to do with you. You don't need to have any thoughts about it..."

"That's why I didn't tell you, and I won't let anyone else tell you."

"How can it have nothing to do with me?" Hearing this, when Chen Boyang wanted to persuade Su Yun not to remember this, Su Yun slowly spoke, "You have caused me a lot of trouble!"

"You think you should do a favor without expecting anything in return, but to me, a person with a normal outlook, your actions have forced me to bear a large debt of gratitude, so I must find a way to repay you!"

"I, I didn't mean that..." Chen Boyang was really about to cry: he had been in a bad mood these days because of too little rest time, and he was forcing himself to accept Su Yun's phone call invitation, but Su Yun said such words...

Of course, Su Yun's idea was close to his original intention of not seeking rewards; but if Su Yun said that his behavior actually had a hidden meaning of repaying a favor - then it would really be unfair to him!

He really just wanted to do something for her...

Seeing that his eyes were red from anxiety, Su Yun sighed, raised her hands and held his face to force him to look at himself: "You should understand that this kind of self-sacrificing and self-touching behavior is actually self-righteous."

"I'm sorry..." Chen Boyang subconsciously wanted to lower his head - but he couldn't: having known each other for many years, Su Yun had already predicted his next move.

"You don't need to apologize to me. On the contrary, I should thank you." Su Yun slowed down her voice. "I just said this to you, not only to wake you up, but also to assure you that I will always remember it."

Chen Boyang was in a state of confusion, and he felt that he really didn't know what to do. He could only explain intermittently, "I, I didn't think so much or so far ahead. I just knew that you needed help and I could help you, so I did it..."

"They all said I was crazy, dedicating my best years to TBB, the most exploitative company, but I really don't care..." The lack of understanding from people around him during this period also made him suffer from psychological pressure on top of the physical pressure of hard work, so much so that he had a hoarse cry when he said these words, "You have always tried hard to move forward, and I also understand that you want to go very far--"

"Although I can't see your future destination clearly now, you are no longer someone I can catch up with, the lazy and carefree me of the past..."

"Although TBB is oppressive, it is also a good platform. This decision can not only help you, but also control me and motivate me to move forward..." When he said this, his eyes reflected the gentleness of the twilight and the firmness of the setting sun. "I just want to be closer to you, closer... That's enough."

“On the road to the future, you will always look back, wait for some people and lead some people; and I don’t want to be the one who makes you look back.”

"I know." Su Yun said softly: It was because she knew this that she unexpectedly became the host and was truly moved by the kindness of this fool.

Not only because he put himself in the situation of a hard-working worker in order to help her, but also because of his innocent heart that pursued her regardless of everything and without asking for anything in return.

Such genuine and pure emotion can move even the most hard-hearted and complicated person.

At the moment when the two of them smiled at each other, it seemed as if something in the air had quietly undergone an unnoticed change.

"Here, this sea mud mask is also very good. I'll help you apply it." The emotions in those eyes were so strong that they seemed to be flowing out. Su Yun slightly tilted her eyes and picked up a jar of facial mask on the coffee table.

"Okay." He responded briskly, his voice so clear and clean that it seemed like a ray of dawn light penetrating through the dark dusk.

Su Yun smiled and scooped out a piece of the paste. When she walked over and was about to apply it on his face, there was a knock on the half-open door.

"Time for dinner." Zhuang Long's voice came from outside, as calm as the water at the bottom of a deep pool that never sees the sun.