Chapter 573 The Real Me
Is this Ning Yu?
Fang Yu couldn't help but be a little surprised.
Of Liu Feifei's two personalities, Ning Yu's personality is actually closer to the "asexual" state.
Ning Yu's "asexuality" has nothing to do with "asexuality" among the more than 100 genders in the West. The main reason is that Ning Yu is essentially a childhood personality created by Liu Feifei.
Moreover, this childhood personality is not the same as Liu Feifei's "real childhood personality", but a childhood personality "beautified" by her memory and imagination.
In fact, most children begin to have a vague sense of interest when they are three or four years old. From the age of five or six, they may have a favorite person of the opposite sex. Liu Feifei is no exception.
However, Liu Feifei's special experience caused her to develop a strong self-loathing in her subconscious mind, making her yearn for the simplicity of childhood even more, thus creating the "Ning Yu" personality that was similar to her real childhood.
This personality has no sense of interest and is not interested in either the same or opposite sex.
Therefore, when she was with Fang Yu before, although Liu Feifei was the dominant one, Ning Yu, who shared the same feelings, always reacted in a confused and overwhelmed manner.
Except for the time when Liu Feifei, who had experienced a personality breakdown, pulled Ning Yu out in a state of excitement, Ning Yu had hardly ever really faced this situation on her own, let alone taken the initiative to face it.
Is this the reward for having relieved her of her burden today?
Fang Yu's eyes narrowed slightly, and the primary enchantment essence was activated. Liu Feifei's spirituality was clearly visible in his eyes.
Immediately afterwards, Fang Yu couldn't help but frown.
The blue spirituality that originally belonged to Ning Yu was surging rapidly under his sight, and every time it surged, the blue spirituality would become a little lighter.
Spiritual collapse!?
How could that be?
Liu Feifei is naturally more spiritual than others, so after splitting into two personalities, the two personalities can be independent of each other and maintain relative stability.
Otherwise, most people would have gone crazy or died long ago.
Just like some DID patients, who have more than a dozen split personalities, the more split personalities they have, the more likely they are to suffer a mental breakdown or death.
In addition, on the day when Liu Feifei's spiritual collapse occurred in Haipu, he had used the "Soul Stabilization Technique" to stabilize the spiritual structure of Ning Yu and Liu Feifei.
Now the spiritual stability of the two personalities is almost the same as that of ordinary people. How could they possibly suffer a spiritual collapse?
Wait, it doesn’t seem like a spiritual breakdown.
After observing carefully again, Fang Yu found that the situation this time was different from what happened in Haipu a few months ago.
In his vision, while the blue spirituality of Ning Yu on the outer layer faded, the red spirituality of Liu Feifei on the inner layer was also changing.
The red aura was also transforming into a lighter color, and the dividing line between the two spiritualities was no longer so clear.
"Focus and look at me."
Just when Fang Yu was studying him more carefully, Ning Yu, who was sitting on him, held his face with both hands, her eyes sparkling, as if she wanted to imprint Fang Yu in her mind.
"Stop for a moment, there's something wrong with your condition." Fang Yu was about to pull himself away when Ning Yu held him down again.
"No, this is my first and last farewell."
Ning Yu was breathing rapidly and looked at Fang Yu with hazy eyes.
Fang Yu looked at Ning Yu's eyes and the surging spirit, and a flash of enlightenment came into his mind.
Is Liu Feifei's spirit going to be reunited?
Fang Yu immediately understood what had happened.
After deleting Liu Feifei from the list of peripheral personnel of the Feiliantai Guanfeng Pavilion in the Imperial City, he relieved Liu Feifei of the biggest source of psychological pressure.
But at the same time, it also made Liu Feifei's dual personality lose its basis for existence on the psychological level.
Moreover, Ning Yu was originally Liu Feifei's yearning for her own purity. When Ning Yu's "purity" disappeared and she developed feelings and a fishing net for herself, it was equivalent to Ning Yu "growing up". The differences between their personalities were further reduced, allowing the two personalities to begin to merge again.
Since Liu Feifei is the main personality and Ning Yu is the secondary personality, this fusion must be dominated by Liu Feifei's "charming state".
However, the speed of this integration is a bit too fast.
For most patients with dissociative identity disorder, even if the different personalities begin to merge, it is an extremely long process that may last for several months or even years.
Because DID patients instinctively resist fusion, each personality will often fight to preserve itself, as they are essentially the patient's "survival strategy."
Judging from their spiritual performance, the fusion process of Liu Feifei and Ning Yu is extremely fast. Judging from the progress, the fusion may be completed in a few minutes.
There is only one possibility for such a fast fusion speed: Ning Yu voluntarily gave up the dominant position without any struggle.
In Fang Yu's observation, the spirits of Liu Feifei and Ning Yu were like two huge galaxies colliding with each other. Countless nebulae shattered and reorganized in the collision, bursting out with dazzling light.
Every time Ning Yu's spirituality dissipates, Liu Feifei's spirituality grows stronger.
Fang Yu sighed softly.
That’s fine, although it’s a pity that I won’t be able to have double the happiness in the future.
But illness is illness, and it must be treated.
Someone has a sunken forehead and a tumor has grown on it, which has suddenly become swollen. You can't just not remove the tumor just because it makes you look more beautiful.
Fang Yu had previously considered whether to completely separate the spirits of Liu Feifei and Ning Yu, use the Creation Chamber to create a new body for Liu Feifei, and completely turn them into two people.
But after careful study, I found that this approach was not feasible.
In the Age of the Great Arcana, there was no such philosophical question as the "Ship of Theseus".
There will be no question of "who am I and who am I".
The reason lies in the uniqueness and indivisibility of spirituality in the main material world.
The spirituality of intelligent creatures is unique. There are no two identical spiritual imprints in the world. Spirituality constitutes the main body of the "I" of intelligent life.
Although the spirit will be torn into pieces and all spiritual imprints will be washed away in the astral plane, there is no way to split a complete spirit in the main material world.
Even if a legendary wizard goes to the astral realm to split the spirit, the spirit after splitting will quickly disintegrate, and the spiritual imprint on it will completely disappear, restoring it to the most basic spiritual fragments.
Although Liu Feifei's spirituality is divided into two parts, the underlying structure is still interconnected. In essence, it is still one spirituality, but the upper-level manifestations are different.
In other words, the spiritual reunion is the best ending for Liu Feifei.
However, this fusion is a bit dangerous, as the reconstruction of the spiritual structure requires the consumption of a large amount of life essence.
If the fusion takes several months or years to complete and only a small amount of life essence is extracted every day, the problem is not a big deal.
But with such a fast fusion, Liu Feifei simply does not have enough accumulated life essence. The fusion will fail halfway, and there is a high possibility that it will lead to a mental breakdown.
In addition, Liu Feifei's current fusion is more like swallowing, Liu Feifei swallowed Ning Yu's spirituality.
Although it was Ning Yu who took the initiative, when Liu Feifei realized this, she would inevitably feel extremely guilty and might even split herself into a completely new personality.
In that case, let me help you.
Fang Yu drew a circle with his finger in the air and cast a 2nd level desire spell - "Sensory Amplification" on himself.
This spell greatly enhances one of the target's five senses, making it exceptionally sharp.
Although it is a desire spell, it actually has very strong combat and auxiliary capabilities.
This was the first time Fang Yu used it on himself.
It's not possible without magnification. If Liu Feifei and Fang Yu don't give in, it's completely wishful thinking for them to refine their essence and transform it into energy independently.
After Ning Yu trembled for a while, her expression changed and her eyes became unfocused. After she regained focus, two lines of tears flowed out.
The remaining Ning Yu personality was no longer sufficient to maintain control of the body and retreated into the depths of consciousness. Liu Feifei took over the body again.
"Xiaoyu, Xiaoyu, why?"
Although Liu Feifei couldn't see her own spiritual state, she just felt that Ning Yu on the outside was becoming weaker and weaker, while she was becoming more and more awake.
Faced with this situation, she had almost no way out.
If Liu Feifei had to choose, she would rather be the one to be swallowed.
"Fei Fei, don't cry. You are right. I am you and you are me. We are one person."
"I didn't disappear, but we became one again, and we will never be separated again."
"I love you, and I'm so happy to be one with you again."
"I love him too. I was able to experience what it's like to be in love while I was still an independent person, so I have no regrets."
Liu Feifei shook her head and cried. She could feel that Ning Yu's consciousness was quickly merging with hers.
At this moment, the thoughts, feelings, memories of the two personalities... countless images flashed rapidly in her consciousness.
Ning Yu's mood, Ning Yu's memories, Ning Yu's thoughts, at this moment, all became her mood, her memories, and her thoughts.
She finally understood that it was not her who was protecting Ning Yu, but Ning Yu who was protecting her and giving her a reason to persevere.
Ning Yu is her, and she is also Ning Yu. Ning Yu also has the same fishing nets as she does, but in order to maintain her anchor, Ning Yu can only make herself "pure".
"Xiaoyu, Xiaoyu, no, no..." Liu Feifei hugged Fang Yu and kept crying. Her body kept shaking and her consciousness felt dazed.
"Fei Fei, goodbye. Please tell him for me that I'm very happy. Um, I'm so sleepy. I'm going to sleep."
The blue spirit, which had faded beyond recognition, uttered its final whisper.
"Hey, if you're saying goodbye, then say it properly. Why do you need to tell someone else?"
Fang Yu's voice suddenly rang out in the consciousness space that originally only contained Liu Feifei and Ning Yu.
Liu Feifei couldn't help but tremble and looked at Fang Yu in disbelief.
And in her consciousness space, the only remaining bit of Ning Yu's spirituality also emitted a faint light of surprise.
"How could you…"
Ning Yu held up her spirits as if she were catching up. Just as she asked the question, she felt a powerful vitality rapidly nourishing her spirit. The consciousness that was about to dissipate was stabilized again at this moment.
"Save Xiaoyu." Liu Feifei naturally heard Fang Yu's voice in her consciousness, but she had no time to be surprised why Fang Yu could speak in her own consciousness space, so she said anxiously.
"She's almost gone!"
"Please, you must have a way, right?" Liu Feifei looked at Fang Yu pleadingly, contrary to her usual charm.
"As long as you can save her, I will do anything..."
Liu Feifei's habitual path dependence.
Fang Yu shook his head. "Once your spirits begin to merge, the process is irreversible. If you force them to separate, your spirits will dissipate, and at best, you can only maintain your current state."
"But this is only temporary. She is too weak right now. Even if you are asleep, her spirit might be devoured involuntarily."
Spirituality?
Liu Feifei blinked. This was the first time she heard this word.
"Your dual personality is essentially your spirit divided into two parts. It doesn't matter if you haven't heard of spirits. You can think of it as a soul."
Fang Yu gave a brief explanation.
Liu Feifei's tears trickled down her cheeks. Ning Yu was silent for a moment, then uttered a faint voice in her consciousness: "It's really okay, Fang Yu. With you by her side, I have nothing to worry about. You may not know how much Feifei loves you. In all these years, I've never seen her so happy."
"Oh, by the way, don't bully Dongdong in the future. He is very pitiful. He was abandoned when he was still a little kitten. Feifei, please help me take good care of him."
Ning Yu raised dozens of stray cats, and Dongdong was the most favored one among them. Fang Yu had also seen it.
"What about you?" Fang Yu's voice echoed in Liu Feifei's mind. "What about you?"
"Me? What am I like? I... I..."
Ning Yu could actually speak haltingly in her consciousness.
Fang Yu smiled slightly and stopped teasing Ning Yu in her consciousness.
"Although I can't separate you again, nor can I truly turn you into two people. But I can make you truly merge, instead of one being swallowed by the other."
Fang Yu said seriously.
True fusion?
Liu Feifei looked at Fang Yu in confusion.
"Don't understand? Hmm...how should I put it..."
Fang Yu rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. "Oh right! Have you seen Dragon Ball? Trunks and Goten practiced that fusion technique to become Gotenks, and Goku and Vegeta put on the Kaioshin earrings and merged into Vegito and Gogeta. That's the kind of fusion."
Seeing Liu Feifei's bewildered expression, Fang Yu felt a bit disappointed: "You haven't seen it? Forget it, forget it. All you need to know is that this isn't a devouring relationship, but a merging one."
"After the merger, you are no longer the current Liu Feifei, nor the current Ning Yu, but the real you after the fusion of your personalities."
"Would you like to?"
The real me?
Liu Feifei couldn't help but breathe faster: "No matter what, I can't let Xiaoyu disappear alone, even if I... disappear, I am willing."
"Feifei!"
Ning Yu was very anxious in her consciousness. Wouldn’t both of them be trapped in this?
"Don't worry, you won't disappear, it's just that your spirits have been reintegrated. Ning Yu, your consciousness could disappear at any moment, so I won't ask for your opinion."
After saying that, Fang Yu rubbed his five fingers together, and a transparent test tube shining with golden light appeared in his palm.
"If you have anything you want to say to me, tell me in person after you've been reunited."
(End of this chapter)
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