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Ye Wenyu finally understood. After three years together, her feelings for Lin Tingfeng were like new memories. It turned out she didn't understand him at all; he was practically a stranger. Whether he was a good person or a bad person, she still couldn't tell!
The initial trust was gradually eroded by the little things that followed.
In his eyes, she was made of crystal glass, clear at a glance; in her eyes, he was the night, unknown to her no matter how closely she looked at him.
Lin Tingfeng's face was ashen as he waited for her answer. If she didn't give him a plausible reason today, he would absolutely not agree to their breakup.
Realizing this, Ye Wenyu's heart pounded wildly, like a drumbeat. Her palms were sweating profusely, and to control the spasms, she gripped the coffee cup tightly. The small white coffee cup was almost deformed by her terrifying force.
Lin Tingfeng looked at her with a gloomy expression, though he was deeply hurt and extremely flustered.
After a long silence, Ye Wenyu, like a seaweed absorbing water, gathered her courage, finally gritted her teeth, steadied her emotions, raised her head, and said to Lin Tingfeng, "The reason I want to break up is because from the very first day we were together, I was already thinking about leaving you." The implication was that this had been her plan all along, but she only brought it up today.
"Rome wasn't built in a day," and this was her longing of three years.
Lin Tingfeng was stunned. In an instant, all the blood in his body flowed out from the soles of his feet with a "thud." His hands and feet began to turn cold, his mind went blank, and everything around him was quiet. He didn't know where he was, and the people and things around him seemed to recede and disappear.
After a long time, his limbs gradually warmed up, and his thoughts and feelings returned to him.
He understood that Xiaoyu was an exceptionally proud and aloof girl. He also knew that any girl who could get into Q University was definitely self-important. Such a girl would never agree to be with him and become his secret lover unless fate played a cruel trick on her and she was forced by life.
This is also why he made up his mind to get a divorce.
Therefore, Lin Tingfeng somewhat believed and accepted Ye Wenyu's reason.
Seeing that Lin Tingfeng's expression had softened, Ye Wenyu gained some courage. She didn't dare to look him in the eye, lowered her head, and said quickly in a hoarse voice, "Tingfeng, for the past three years, I've lived in humiliation. I was afraid every day, worried that others would discover my true identity. I was also uneasy, worried that others would laugh at me and say I was a mistress. I also felt guilty, feeling like I was destroying someone else's family. I was worried that your wife would hit me, worried that your children would scold me."
Her voice trembled, like leaves in the wind, as if the cold air from the unheated café seeped into her. She paused, then continued softly, "I have nightmares almost every day. I live in guilt and self-blame. I'm not cut out to be a mistress. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I crave a life lived openly and honestly. I've had enough of these three years. I'm tired. I want to live a different life—"
The snow was falling heavily outside. Soon, the cars were piled up like white buns, and the road became like a sandwich, with white on both sides and a black stripe in the middle.
He understood what she meant. She was saying that she didn't want to be a pariah, hated by everyone. Deep down, she was a swan yearning for respect and freedom.
Lin Tingfeng recalled the last time it snowed heavily. He was downstairs, acting silly, like a seventeen or eighteen-year-old boy, ordering the driver to build a snowman with him, just so that the first thing she would see when she woke up was those two snowmen. They would be him and her, holding hands, walking together forever, growing old together.
Now I finally understand how foolish I was!
She doesn't love him, does she? If she did, she would see everything he did for her, how much he changed for her.
Love is like a floating lamp on flowing water, the most fragile thing, yet he wanted to hold onto it forever. The Bible says, "Love is like chasing the wind." When she was by his side, he arrogantly declared that he did not believe it, but now, he has come to accept it somewhat. A sense of powerlessness washes over him like a tide, almost suffocating him.
Love is an asymptote; you can only approach it, but never reach it. Love is a legendary ghost; you've only heard of it, but never seen it.
Lin Tingfeng fell silent. He believed her and fully accepted her reason. He suddenly seemed to age twenty years; his once straight, sturdy back slowly slumped. He looked down at her, his expression utterly weary. He said to her sadly, "Xiaoyu, I'm sorry. I understand you, I know you, I know—"
Ye Wenyu's eyes also reddened. These words were the truth; she had indeed been living a very tiring and humiliating life.
But what forced her to leave him was that she no longer trusted him.
Trust is like an eggshell; it's very easy to break.
Lin Tingfeng changed the subject and said to her with utmost sincerity, "But I decided to divorce you for your sake. Didn't I tell you that I needed you to give me time and patience? Are you in such a hurry to leave me now?"
It was so urgent, like a sudden gust of wind, it was truly unbearable!
Ye Wenyu froze, quickly raising her head to glance at Lin Tingfeng. His eyes were filled with sadness, making it impossible for her to look at him for long. So, she quickly lowered her head again and said to him, "Yes, Tingfeng, I did promise you before, but I've lost my patience. You said you're getting a divorce, can you tell me a specific time? How long do I have to wait? Half a year, a year, two years, three years, five years, or ten years?"
Lin Tingfeng was stunned. He really couldn't give her a definite time. For children from large families like theirs, divorce was a power struggle between two large families, involving too many interests. Following the trail, many divorce cases dragged on for years, with unclear property divisions. In the end, many didn't divorce. That's probably why Xiaoyu decided to leave him.
He was heartbroken and exhausted, thinking that she ultimately didn't love him enough, refused to believe him, and wouldn't give him more time and patience.
At this moment, Lin Tingfeng felt as if his heart were a dried-up seashell on the beach, making a hollow sound.
When Ye Wenyu saw that Lin Tingfeng had stopped speaking and that his previously cruel expression had disappeared, replaced by one of old age and helplessness, she knew that she had succeeded.
So, she raised her wrist to check the time, stood up, and said to him, "Tingfeng, I've finished speaking. This is why I'm leaving. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for respecting me. I'm leaving. Goodbye, and I wish you all the best!"
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