Chapter 16
Hongo came to see you, basically apologizing for what Lem did to you and hoping you wouldn't take it to heart.
Don't take it to heart? From what you understand, Lym's words and actions far exceed what you can't simply ignore. Even so, you, constrained by your own nature, must forgive Lym. Not forgiving him might result in being thrown into the sea to feed the fish, or it might be the other way around—you'd have to beg Lym for forgiveness.
Thinking of this, the seashells you casually hung on the wall became particularly glaring. The blankets you used to wrap yourself up failed to dispel the cold from your body; instead, they seemed to intensify.
Your repeated deep breaths calmed your trembling body somewhat. During this time, Hongo didn't leave; he was waiting for your reply. Realizing this, you, having barely calmed down, continued the conversation Hongo had brought up not long ago.
"I know, I won't take it to heart. But I'm a little tired, can I be alone for a while?"
You will not only forgive Lem, but you will also be equally wary of Hongo outside the door. Understanding the implication in your words, Hongo swallowed back what he was about to say, offering words of comfort through the wooden door.
"Then you should get some rest. If anything happens, you can come to my room anytime."
"I will."
Seeing that you had no intention of continuing the conversation, Hongo, who was standing outside the door, withdrew his gaze from the doorknob with a sigh. Not long after, you heard Hongo's footsteps gradually fading away, and only after there was no more movement outside the door did you dare to breathe deeply.
You're quite certain you haven't expressed any romantic feelings to anyone, nor do you intend for anyone to like you. Everything you're doing right now is purely social interaction for survival. In this context, Lyme's words truly unsettle you.
The idea that you should touch him with your hand or something—anyone who would say something like that to someone they've only known for a short time—is either a complete pervert or a pursuer desperately seeking reciprocation in unrequited love. Clearly, you and Lyme aren't in a pursuer-and-be-pursued relationship; at best, you're just temporary "roommates," and even then, your rooms and personalities are worlds apart.
In conclusion, the Lem who made this request to you is probably the type with strange fetishes, the kind who craves physical intimacy.
As for why Hongo was in the kitchen, you can't say for sure, but that doesn't stop you from being wary of him as well. Compared to you, whom you've known for less than a month, your partner who went through a near-death experience with you is more important. It's hard to say that they won't exploit your trust to fulfill one of their wishes.
Once there's one, there will be a second, a third, and even more... If things develop in this direction, not to mention whether the Four Emperors will be willing to grant you protection, it will be a question whether you can even disembark alive.
Your rapid breathing is giving you a headache. Although what happened tonight is not as bad as that night's nightmare, the harsh reality makes you realize one thing: you need someone to protect you, and this person has a certain status on the ship and can restrain the extent to which others will act recklessly.
As your thoughts begin to wander, before your initial intentions are about to stray from your original purpose due to the unknown future, you pinch the back of your hand to bring yourself back to your senses.
You can't do that. Once you lower your standards and hand over control to others, your situation will only become more dangerous.
There is no difference between actively or passively relinquishing control when there is a complete imbalance of power and status. Even so, it is always better to hold onto control when you can.
After calming the chaotic emotions in your mind, you once again exclaimed that it was impossible.
"I want to go home."
A vast ocean teeming with powerful creatures is not a suitable place for you to live.
-
The Red-Haired Pirates will need to dock on an island near the uninhabited island for a while.
When you learned that this island was inhabited, you considered disembarking here, until Shanks casually explained the island's status among pirates, the Navy, and the government, which made you abandon your notoriously thoughtless idea.
"You can disembark here if you wish, but the distance and security... might not meet your requirements."
Even if you didn't say it aloud, Shanks probably guessed what you were thinking. You didn't dare admit it, afraid that if you said it, it would become a fait accompli, so you could only laugh it off with Shanks.
"I think I'll have to shamelessly bother you for a while longer."
Shanks laughed, amused by the comment. A sea breeze that blew up at the right moment made his laughter seem to come and go. As the laughter subsided with the weakening wind, Shanks continued the conversation.
"Of course! You might not be able to tell, but the guys on the ship really like you."
Shanks' words are puzzling. You don't know who "they" specifically refers to, but Shanks doesn't seem to be the subject. Does this mean Shanks doesn't have any feelings for you?
I wouldn't say I hate you, but you can't tell if I like you either. Judging from Shanks' limited interactions, you're pretty much like a cat or dog to him when he's bored.
While you were pondering Shanks' words, Shanks, belatedly realizing what he meant, suddenly understood and turned to you with a bright, un-pirate-like smile.
"Did you just say something like I don't like you? To clarify, I think you're very interesting, so you can rest assured, I won't kick you off the ship."
Perhaps your conversation with Shanks was too abrupt, because Beckman, who was closest to you, couldn't help but sigh and speak up to stop Shanks from saying things whose intentions you couldn't decipher.
"That's enough. If you keep going, she'll start to suspect you're implying something."
Shanks responded with a chuckle from Beckman, indicating he had no intention of continuing the conversation. Having barely managed to compose yourself, you nodded with an awkward smile under Beckman's gaze, signifying that you hadn't taken Shanks' words to heart.
Everyone on deck was preparing for landing on the island. Lyme and Hongo, with whom you hadn't gotten along very well last night, were chatting about something, and Roji, who you knew fairly well, also had a regular chat partner. For a moment, you were the only "exception" on deck.
Given this situation, no one should have spoken to you before you landed on the island, but Beckman's approach broke that pattern.
"They'll all be going to the island to buy things later. Is there anything you want to buy?"
Beckman's words reminded you of when Shanks agreed to hitch a ride with you: "Speaking of which, I still haven't paid you back the money I borrowed from you in Sabaody Archipelago."
Beckman's expression faltered slightly, surprised that you would take this to heart. In his view, bringing up this topic would only put you in a disadvantageous position, and he genuinely hadn't taken it to heart.
Because you don't have the money to pay him back.
Even so, you still brought it up. Thinking of Shanks' casual remark about you and Rem, Beckman followed up on that topic and started talking to you.
"Are you going to give it back to me?"
Beckman's smiling voice left you stunned. That's a good question: what can you repay Beckman for? Although Beckman didn't mention when or how he would repay you, you asked him for the money under the pretense of a "loan," so you'll definitely have to repay it in the end.
Are there day jobs in this world...? You don't ask for much, just enough to pay back the money you borrowed from Beckman.
Seeing your increasingly serious expression as the topic came up, Beckman quickly stopped you: "I was just kidding, don't take it to heart. For me, that little bit of money isn't even enough to buy cigarettes."
"Don't take this to heart, just consider it pocket money I'm giving you."
Beckman's intentions were good, and you know he said that because he genuinely doesn't need the money. But your current situation... definitely doesn't allow you enough money to buy cigarettes, even if it weren't Beckman's.
A casual chat with Beckman makes you realize once again how insignificant and useless you are in this vast ocean. What good does it do to escape Crocodile's control? Don't you still need to depend on others to survive?
Perhaps because you had been silent for too long, Beckman noticed your unusual behavior and asked in an uncertain tone, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, thank you for your concern."
When your eyes meet Beckman's, you adjust your breathing, trying to hide your inexplicable sadness.
“I know that money is nothing to worry about for you, but I will still pay it back to you. After all, it was money I borrowed from you.”
Realizing things were going wrong, Beckman tried to calm things down. The crew members on the lookout tower announced, "It's an island!" This excited the pirates gathered on the deck. Their cheers, varying in rhythm, drowned out Beckman's voice and ended your conversation with him.
-
You learned from Shanks that they would be staying on the island for two days. When you spoke to Shanks, he even invited you to join them for drinks at the bar.
Knowing full well your own drinking capacity, you politely declined Shanks' invitation.
"I can't hold my liquor very well, so I'd better stay in the hotel."
Seeing this, Shanks didn't insist and pulled Lyme, who looked rather unwell, and the group toward the bar. Before they left, Hongo invited you to go shopping with him at the local shops.
Based on your plans and the thought that you don't want to be alone with someone you can't face for the time being, you regretfully declined Hongo's invitation with similar words.
"Thank you, but I'd like to rest at the hotel today."
Hongo, having been rejected, let out a sigh and calmly accepted the reality of your rejection.
"Then remember to lock the door when you rest, the management of this island is not very good."
After you nodded in agreement to Hongo's instructions, Hongo and Beckman left the hotel. Before leaving, Beckman, who was waiting for Hongo, seemed to glance at you.
You stand at the window of your room and make sure the Red-Haired Pirates have all left the inn before you come out and ask the innkeeper for the information you want.
Perhaps it was because the Red-Haired Pirates were so famous, and you came with them, that the boss's expression was subtle when he heard you were looking for a job. He looked you up and down before speaking in an uncertain tone.
"You want to find a job here? Well... it's not impossible, but with those pirates around, do you really need a job?"
Clearly, the boss misunderstood your relationship with the Red-Haired Pirates. As you tried to explain to the boss, the teacher, having given up trying to think, waved his hands repeatedly.
"Never mind, never mind, forget I asked. If you're looking for a job, you can check out the island's shopping street; there should be some shops hiring there."
Perhaps worried that you might get lost and be blamed, the owner gave you a map of the island and circled places he didn't recommend you visit. You accepted the map, thanked the owner, and left the hotel, beginning your solo journey on the island.
Little did you know that shortly after you left, Beckman, who had left with Hongo, returned to the hotel. After confirming that you were not in your room, Beckman learned more about your whereabouts from the owner. With a sigh, he stubbed out his cigarette.
-
The place the boss mentioned no one wanted to hire you; they all relied on tourists to make a living, and their own lives were in trouble. The result was just as you imagined.
Even so, you still went to many stores with a glimmer of hope, only to be turned away many times. You didn't ask for much; you just wanted to find a job that would allow you to pay back the money you owed Beckman.
But you underestimated the living environment of this world; it's far harsher than the environment of your original world. Exhausted from being rejected all the way, you found a rock nearby, sat down, and gazed at the distant sea.
Perhaps the frustrations and grievances you've suffered have reached their limit. After confirming that no one is around, you try to curl yourself into a ball. Even if someone passes by, it doesn't matter; apart from the Red-Haired Pirates and the people of Alabasta, there's no one else in this world you know.
Why did you run away from Crocodile? You had nowhere to go and no one to see. Why didn't you just stay with Crocodile and live as he told you to?
That way, I wouldn't be like I am now, desperately searching for jobs just to pay back what little self-respect I have left—jobs that barely cover the cost of Beckman's cigarettes—and I could live a stable life with no worries about food and clothing...
What interrupted your gradually drifting thoughts was a male voice suddenly ringing in your ears.
"It must be you, looking for work all over the island."
You look towards the source of the sound and see a man who looks a little younger than you. He has an innocent-looking face and is showing you his most approachable side.
In an unfamiliar city, staying vigilant and avoiding conversations with strangers is the right approach. There's likely an element of self-abandonment involved; you've thrown safety and caution to the back of your mind.
"It's me, what's wrong?"
The man's face lit up with joy upon hearing this.
"That's it! I have a job here that pays you right away, all I need is a beauty like you. I wonder if you'd be interested?"
The man didn't give much information, but every word he said matched your needs. But you know, no matter where you are, everything that perfectly suits your taste is a trap.
But... you really don't have any money right now.
The man, having waited in vain for your reply, pressed his advantage, focusing on what you cared about most at that moment and continuing to introduce his work.
"The pay is definitely higher than what you've been offered, and you get paid right after the job is done. Why don't you think about it?"
The man's slightly raised voice mingled with the last vestiges of your self-esteem, and you heard your own heart pounding with tension and hesitation.
Should we go or not?
Knowing full well it's a trap, the miniature figure loudly warns you not to go, while another miniature figure, eager to prove its usefulness, tries to coax you into agreeing. The two conflicting voices make it impossible for you to concentrate and think clearly.
As the distance between you and the man gradually closes, you try to reply with a hoarse voice.
"I,"
"She's not going."
Beckman's voice, which shouldn't be there, rang in your ears. Before you could see Beckman's expression clearly, the man who approached you was blocked by Beckman.
Feeling the dry, gentle touch on your wrist, and realizing that what's blocking your way is your current "creditor," you suddenly have a direction, even though you were previously hesitant.
You try to break free from Beckman's grasp, but he is much stronger than you, and you can only respond to the man's invitation with conversation.
"I--"
Even faster than your reply was Beckman, who turned around and showed you hostility for the first time.
"I told you, you're not going."
The forceful enunciation and increasing volume left you speechless. And the man who had extended the invitation fled the scene upon realizing Beckman was not someone to be trifled with.
The only job is gone. Even if you haven't decided whether to take it or not, the pent-up emotions you've felt since boarding the ship ignite at this moment.
"Why are you stopping me? I'm not one of your crew members."
Unable to break free from Beckman's grasp, you raise your head, glaring for the first time at the pirate who terrifies you. Perhaps not expecting such an expression, Beckman is momentarily stunned, then grabs your wrist, forcibly closing the distance between you.
"Why am I stopping you? Because I know what you'll encounter if you go."
"You will be loved by one, two, or even more men. Even if you don't want to, even if you cry until your voice is hoarse and you can't shed a tear, no one will care about you."
"If you insist on paying off your debts with your body, you don't need to look for anyone else, just come to me, naive lady."
In the end, the fierceness in Beckman's eyes dissipated, reflecting your face, which was stunned by his words.
Even if you're slow on the uptake, you'll understand what "work" means to a man, and you'll know why Beckman did what he did. He knows you're looking for a job because it's not even enough money for his cigarettes, and he understands how the world works.
Only you, knowing nothing, still recklessly squander your remaining self-respect in this world that is a trap for you at every turn. Through tears blurring her vision, Beckman's outline became indistinct, and the surrounding scenery blurred as well.
"...Don't cry, I didn't mean to scold you."
It was Beckman's voice. But this time, his voice carried a hint of helplessness.
"I don't need you to pay me back, really, I don't need that little bit of money."
It would have been better if you hadn't mentioned it, because once you did, you were reminded of how you almost got scammed, and the uncontrollable grievances and tears became even more intense. Beckman, realizing he had miscomforted comforting someone, had a headache, a headache different from the one he had faced with the people on the ship, one that made him even more irritable.
In his view, you are better suited to weeping in bed over overflowing pleasure than to crying uncontrollably over trivial "debts" like you are now.
Thinking that he was the one who caused the whole thing, Beckman sighed helplessly and used his free hand to wipe away the tears from the corner of your eyes.
"Alright... naive lady, I can't do anything with you. Just give me a kiss, and the money you owe me will be wiped clean, okay?"
"I'll kiss you anywhere, just one kiss and all you owe me will be wiped clean."
To be honest, Beckman's suggestion was no different from the "work" he had just told you not to do. But you didn't have the energy to think about the difference at the moment, so under Beckman's gaze, you stood on tiptoe and gave him a kiss mixed with grievance and tears.
It landed perfectly on his lips.
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