Chapter 36
You believe Izo won't tell anyone about what happened that night. Even if Izo did, from the Whitebeard Pirates' perspective, there's no one on this ship who can't climb the railings; after all, two meters is considered low for them.
Although Izo didn't tell anyone about what happened that night, his attitude towards you seemed slightly different than before. You couldn't quite put your finger on what was different. The most obvious difference was probably something as small as Izo arriving late to the cafeteria and sitting opposite you.
You hadn't paid attention to Izo's mealtimes beforehand, and given the sheer number of the Whitebeard Pirates, it's normal for latecomers to share a table with you. However, to gossip lovers, this was a rare topic of conversation. Similarly, some were surprised by this, and Thatch belonged to the latter group.
Ever since the day Sachi started making special treats for you, he seems to have developed a new hobby: making all sorts of desserts for you. The quantities aren't large, but the variety is different every day. Like now, when Sachi brought you a cake, he asked about Izou.
"You've been spending a lot of time with Yizang lately, have you become friends? Ah, don't misunderstand, I'm just checking in, that's all!"
Perhaps worried that you might misunderstand, Sachi quickly added a condition to his question. You really didn't mean anything by it, but the nurse in your room gave you a knowing smile.
"I didn't mean anything by it. Whether Izang and she are friends or not, she doesn't have to tell you."
Because you were in the same room, and the nurse had a cake made by Sachi, what she said put Sachi in a dilemma—she couldn't put the cake away, nor could she leave it out. The most obvious sign was Sachi's face turning red because of what the nurse said.
"you,"
Seeing that Satchel was about to run away from the nurse's words, you, who had been through this before, quickly answered Satchel's question.
“My relationship with Izang is the same as my relationship with Sachi and Yuka.”
Sachi answered your question about your relationship with Izang in one sentence, and also made Yuka, the nurse in the same room as you, show a complicated expression.
"Hey, it has to be you, the master who treats everyone equally."
You responded to Yuka's teasing with a polite smile, and Sachi, who brought the cake, seemed relieved. Although Sachi still had a smile on his face, the disappointment in his smile puzzled you. Fortunately, Sachi didn't pursue the topic further, saying that there was still something to bake in the kitchen before leaving, leaving you and Yuka to enjoy the cake in the room.
"Speaking of which, Sachi rarely makes desserts. At first, I thought he wasn't good at it, but now—"
Yuka paused for a few seconds, her smiling gaze falling on you.
"Actually, it's because we haven't found an opportunity to perform."
You dared not speak, fearing that saying another word would only deepen Sachi's misunderstanding with Yuka. As for your opinion on what Yuka said, your assessment was that you should be obliged to speak well of someone who pays your bills, and that saying something nice or remaining silent was the right thing to do.
-
It was another calm and peaceful night. After a busy day, Yuka drifted off to sleep as usual. She barely managed to fall asleep, but was woken up by a nightmare that left her in a cold sweat. Giving up the struggle, she got up and left the room for a walk.
Thinking about what happened last time, you were worried about being teased about your performance again, so you changed your route.
So, when you see Ace on the deck, also awake and sitting on the railing lost in thought, you're not surprised, having seen Ace like this before. Just like in the Spade Pirates, you walk towards where Ace is sitting. Before you even reach him, Ace, gazing absently at the night sky, notices your presence first.
The moment their eyes met, Ace put on the same smile he had when he was with everyone during the day.
"It's you. What's wrong? Still can't sleep?"
As he spoke, Ace jumped down from the fence and stood in the same corner as you, who had come to his location. You answered Ace's question with an affirmative answer.
"Yeah, that's why I came out for a walk. Ace, are you sitting here thinking about your brother?"
Knowing that Ace has a younger brother, you jokingly tease Ace, and Ace laughs out loud at your words.
"I don't need to think about Luffy! If you asked him to choose between meat and me, Luffy would definitely choose the meat!"
Seeing the smile on Ace's face, the kind that comes with talking about important family and comrades, my earlier worry about Ace's unusual quietness vanished. Logically, you shouldn't pry into Ace's past, which he's unwilling to discuss, but even after half a year apart, and despite being well-liked in the Whitebeard Pirates, Ace still wore that expression.
As Ace's friend, it's hard to ignore this. But whether Ace is willing to talk to you about it is another question. With that in mind, you carefully considered your tone and words, and before Ace could bring up a new topic, you brought up the issue that concerned you.
"What does Ace usually think about at times like this?"
Based on what Ace knows about you, you're not the type to actively inquire about other people's past or information. So, when he heard you say that, a look of surprise appeared on Ace's face.
"I'm surprised you'd be curious about this."
It was actually quite surprising, even to the point that you were surprised. But since the topic had already been brought up, you couldn't back out now that you'd initiated it.
"Well, so Ace is going to tell me? You might find this strange, but I'm genuinely worried about you."
When you said the second half of your sentence, Ace's expression froze for a moment. Before picking up where you left off, Ace looked around to make sure it was just the two of you, then pointed at him and uncertainly repeated what you had just said.
"Worried about me?"
You didn't speak, but nodded in affirmation of Ace's question. After confirming that you were indeed worried about him, Ace burst into laughter, as if he had heard a very funny joke.
"You've got it backwards. You're the one who should be worried about."
Even though Ace tries to lighten the mood with laughter, you can see that he's using it to hide his true emotions. And just like that, for the first time in this world, you, who have always been indifferent to others' past, do something that's out of character.
Amidst Ace's laughter, you reiterated your concerns for him.
"I'm worried about you, Ace."
Perhaps sensing your genuine concern, Ace stopped his pointless act of hiding his emotions with laughter, and his face showed a rare coldness.
"You said you were worried about me. But since you woke up, you haven't told me what you've been through in the six months we've been apart."
"So, what do you want to know from me?"
Ace's cold words and expression made you realize that this was a topic he would only open up to someone with whom he had a certain level of camaraderie. And you, who could barely be considered a casual friend, seemed to lack that status.
Realizing this, you don't feel sad about it; instead, you feel you've been inconsiderate. If someone who has always been sheltered and cared for suddenly says, "I'm worried about you," or "I want to have a heart-to-heart talk with you," you'd also find it strange.
After saying this, Ace, who had initially admitted to hurting you, had a complicated expression and seemed to want to say something to ease the tension. But before Ace could try to calm things down, you apologized.
"Now that you mention it, it was indeed my fault. I apologize for worrying about you so rashly."
The unexpected turn of events caused Ace to look puzzled: "No—"
Under Ace's gaze, you give him a gentle smile.
"As compensation, or as a prerequisite for opening up, would you like to hear about what happened before I came here?"
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about your things. Just think of it as me having trouble sleeping and wanting to chat with someone."
After a couple of sentences, the apology Ace was about to utter turned into a dry, monotone sound amidst your smile. Confirming that Ace had no intention of refusing to continue, you exhaled a breath of stale air and, with your heart pounding rapidly, began to recount your experiences over the past six months.
-
The island where you parted ways with the Spade Pirates may seem welcoming, but it's actually an island where all the inhabitants worship a god. They believe that as long as they cultivate a qualified goddess, the island, free from the protection of pirates and the navy, can maintain its current state and continue to live its life.
At first, you just wanted to find a job on the island to make a living, but when you realized that the couple who were actively recruiting you had a daughter who was about your age and whose attitude towards you was completely opposite to that of the enthusiastic couple, you were already stuck.
What they call "job" is to have you replace their daughter and become a candidate for goddess.
They call her a goddess, but it's really just a "faith" created by the islanders to deceive themselves and others. Besides you, there are several other women of similar age who were also forcibly detained on this island.
Their selection method was just as strange as "divine intervention," which involved having candidates perform rain-praying rituals on the altar at different times. Those who succeeded in praying for rain were chosen as "goddesses," while those who failed were pushed onto the altar and left to starve to death in the deep mountains and forests or become food for wild animals.
This is why the couple was so welcoming to you. They simply didn't want their daughter to be an unchosen "goddess." Similarly, the women who were "candidates" alongside you were replacements for their daughters by other islanders.
Candidates who know they will lose their lives because of these unreasonable "selections" will naturally resist and struggle. And the islanders, who are well aware of the horrors of the rituals, also have ways to cope.
For those who showed moderate resistance, they locked the candidates in a basement with only one ventilation opening, starved them for several days to weaken their strength and will to resist, and only provided them with water to barely keep them from starving and food that had been sitting for an unknown period of time when ritual training was required.
Those who resisted fiercely, like you, would have their hands or feet tied with rope and be locked up alone in a dark, deserted basement. If food failed to control them, they would be subjected to whipping.
After a typical process, the candidate's physical and mental strength would be exhausted. Perhaps because you had previously escaped from Crocodile and Shanks, you are the only candidate who needs to be whipped. Knowing that you would be wearing out the rope in the basement, they tied your hands as well.
They could tie your hands up, and you'd still go through with it, even if it meant injuring your wrists, using the basement walls or fences as a defense. The islanders, having exhausted their resources and beaten you, and realizing you couldn't escape, would leave you alone, only coming to you when they needed to learn a ritual.
Just hearing this, the weathered young man's eyes widened, his gaze filled with disbelief and shock at what you were saying.
"Gods? No, do they really believe in these things? The 'goddess' they're talking about is something they themselves created!"
Ace, angered by this, stood up for you, and you, the narrator, gently patted Ace's shrugged shoulder, signaling him to calm down. It was this gesture that made Ace notice the mark left on your wrist.
So, the injury on your wrist—
"It was all my doing. In general, it wasn't their fault, it was my own doing, because no matter what method I used, I was always trying to escape."
It was probably your indifferent tone when you brought this up that made Ace, who was angry for you, feel dissatisfied. His eyes widened, and his hesitant expression was quite vivid, finally turning into a single dissatisfied utterance.
Even though you were so angry, Ace didn't interrupt you. Instead, he patiently waited for you to finish. Seeing this, you continued telling Ace your unfinished story from the past.
-
Perhaps it was because your struggle was more intense than that of the other candidates that you were the last one to stand on the altar and perform the rain-praying ritual.
The weather was beautiful that day, so beautiful that you stood barefoot on the exposed altar, and the sounds of other candidates begging and crying as they were led to the altar echoed in your mind.
The islanders who caused all this are kneeling on the ground, looking at you with pleading eyes, muttering incantations, as if they were the victims of the failed rainmaking.
Ironically, even though you appear to be standing freely on the altar, your feet are still bound with hemp ropes barely enough for the rain-praying dance. Your body, which has been starving for several days, only ate the food that was barely enough to keep you standing before you went up to the altar.
Even so, the moment the drums sounded, your body still danced as instructed, performing the movements required by the ritual. By the end of the ritual, you were mentally prepared to be tied up in the deep mountains and forests, just like the other candidates, waiting to die.
But it seemed as if fate felt you hadn't experienced enough. The sky, clear and blue before the ceremony, turned into a torrential downpour afterward, astonishing the islanders. The rain was so heavy that it even made your still-healing wounds ache. However, compared to the physical pain, the emotional impact of being held hand-in-hand by the seemingly possessed islanders and thanking them one after another far outweighed the physical pain.
The islanders, who are your equals, torment and harm you, just to mold you into the "goddess" they need, and turn you into the "faith" they rely on to survive in this world.
Only the couple's daughter stood to the side, her eyes filled with bewilderment and terror as she stared at you. But the moment your eyes met, the struggle in them vanished.
After becoming a goddess, your treatment is simply changing from a basement room to a normal room, from eating slightly spoiled meals every few days to eating normal meals every two days, and regularly going to various villages on the island to pray for blessings, listen to the wishes of the islanders, and then "forgive" their actions in a voice that reveals no emotion.
You still haven't given up on escaping, even though your escape plan is always discovered and you are locked back in that basement every time you try to escape.
You did consider destroying the altar they considered their "faith" during the blessing ceremony, smashing their faith and killing yourself in the process. But you didn't. You felt that the effort you put in had resulted in such a pitiful end.
Later on, the islanders would invite you to a nearby island to perform a blessing ceremony at the invitation of the islanders. This continued until you could no longer tolerate such manipulation and smashed the altar they relied on for survival to pieces. You were transformed from a goddess into an "offering" tied to the altar to beg for the gods' forgiveness.
You considered scraping off a layer of skin from your wrists to break free, but the ropes binding your limbs were incredibly tight, so tight that even with your wrists and ankles bleeding, there wasn't a single sign of loosening. You thought you were probably about to perish when the girl who had never given you a kind look from the moment you arrived on the island until you became a goddess appeared.
She used a dagger to cut the ropes binding your limbs and carried you, exhausted, onto a raft too small to cross the ocean. She said you were the most stubborn and stupid person she had ever met, without specifying how stupid. Perhaps she had, but in your state of hunger and dehydration, you didn't hear clearly, only her words as she pushed the raft: "Hurry up."
As the raft drifted further and further away from the island with the waves, you were free.
I'm free for now.
-
As Ace tried to say something but ultimately shut his mouth, unable to articulate his feelings, you smiled back at him and took his hand, which was clenched tightly in anger and scratched.
"Sorry, this is not a funny story."
As you spoke, you ran your hand over the back of Ace's clenched fingers. His tightly clenched palm slowly opened, revealing crescent-shaped marks. You were grateful that Ace was angry and dissatisfied with you, but it was precisely because of this that you didn't want to tell him those less-than-pleasant stories.
And Ace, who has recovered from the experience you described, has transformed from his previous indifference into the helplessness that a child who has done something wrong might feel.
"You don't need to apologize to me. Rather, I should be the one apologizing—"
"Alright, it's getting late, let's end the bedtime story here. Before I go back to sleep, shall I go with you to the infirmary to disinfect your hands?"
You interrupted Ace, releasing his scratched palm. Ace was naturally unhappy about being interrupted, but when his gaze fell on the scar on your wrist, the words he was about to utter turned into a single syllable of agreement.
If nothing unexpected happens, Ace will probably be agonizing over what he said to you not long ago for a while.
And now that you've finally revealed that part of your past, the weight on your chest has been lifted. But it seems that this same weight will remain with Ace for some time to come.
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