About Reality (2)
One thing Xu Youling currently regrets very much is choosing the subway as the means of transportation to take Pei Zhi home. First, he takes this line every day to and from get off work. It is very crowded and there is no romantic atmosphere. It does not meet his expectations of bringing his boyfriend home for the first time. Second, Pei Zhi happily found a lot of inadvertent opportunities to create physical contact.
If it was just normal physical contact, it would be acceptable, but Pei Zhi's actions were clearly not ordinary. As soon as he was released from the hospital, he quickly squeezed Xu Youling's hand, as if he were the calm native of this world.
"You see, this is a bad thing," Pei Zhi commented. "If we were still in the same place, I could tell how you felt just by holding your hand."
The feeling is that there's a woman holding a poodle on the street, looking at you in horror, a tall man holding another man's hand with his fingers intertwined! Let go!
But Xu Youling swallowed his anger and didn't confess. After all, he could understand Pei Zhi's anxiety when he first arrived here, and he also wanted to hold hands. "But don't you think this is good? It's just... it's not so frank in the eyes of your partner."
Like before, they would see through each other no matter what. Even the first time they came into contact with the spiritual realm, Pei Zhi discovered that it was blank. Xu Youling really didn't want to experience this kind of thing again.
"Really?" Pei Zhi raised his eyebrows. "It seems like there are many things you don't want to tell me."
Xu Youling's eyebrows jumped, and he immediately explained: "I have never said such words, please don't slander me."
"Maybe you already have a boyfriend here, and now you are planning to take me home and let me duel with him. Whoever wins will move in." Pei Zhi said seriously.
"What the hell... this is a society ruled by law!"
That being said, even though Xu Youling had explained many times that the two of them would never regain their sentinel guide abilities, Pei Zhi still stubbornly felt that Xu Youling was just a light bulb with a somewhat unstable wiring connection. As long as he tried a few more times, it would surely light up with a "ding" sound.
So after Xu Youling, led by Pei Zhi for the first time, squeezed into two seats and sat down near the morning rush hour, Pei Zhi immediately started his little experiment.
I played with my hands for a while: "Your hands are not working, right?"
Then he started pinching her face and ears: "Is it not okay here too? I remember you were very sensitive."
Next came the waist and thighs: "Is this not allowed?"
"It seems a kiss is necessary." Pei Zhi looked at Xu Youling's wandering eyes and his efforts to cover up his small movements with the canvas bag on his knees for a while, and naturally came to an important conclusion.
"No, this is a public place." Xu Youling refused sternly, "Besides, what's the point of knowing each other's emotions..."
"It is very important." Pei Zhi was about to close his eyes, but after hearing this, he stepped back a little in dissatisfaction, "Otherwise, how would I know if you are happy when I..."
Xu Youling took a deep breath and looked up at the sky quietly: "I already said this is a public place... Who told you to say such things in such a loud voice..."
"You are not allowed to talk or kiss, so what are you doing with your mouth?" Pei Zhi got a little furious.
But despite this, he finally became a little more honest, as if he gradually accepted that the little light bulb Xu Youling would not light up like this again, so he had to lower his head and stroke the back of Xu Youling's soft hand.
Xu Youling felt a little depressed. He felt that Pei Zhi was not very happy. Perhaps the loss of his sharp five senses was really a bad thing for him. Just like when Xu Youling regained his guide ability in the book, his mind was disturbed by the emotions that came one after another.
I really feel a little sorry... I pulled Pei Zhi out.
But I will never let him take advantage of me in exchange for feeling sorry, hmm.
Thinking about how they were photographed and uploaded to the Internet by kind passers-by for being affectionate on the precious subway seat, and the series of social deaths that would follow, Xu Youling firmly withdrew her sympathy.
The community where Xu Youling lives is not very close to the hospital. After getting off this subway, she needs to transfer to another subway line to get there.
But it is not known whether it was Pei Zhi's sudden arrival that caused the world to split and break, thus leading to the collapse of the logical chain and the non-existence of atmospheric warming in physics, or what, but today Xu Youling, who was holding Pei Zhi's hand (forced by Pei Zhi), encountered something that happened almost once in a thousand years for him - the subway was suspended.
"It's still morning!" Xu Youling couldn't believe it.
But the signs and the phone map indicated something unmistakable: the signal system is down and under repair. No matter how much they argued with Pei Zhi, it wouldn't change the fact that they had to return to the surface and find other transportation.
Pei Zhi expressed his understanding: "Many trains in the military region sometimes stop running."
He paused. "Most of the time it's because someone died."
"Okay, stop talking!" Xu Youling sighed deeply.
It's just a signal system failure, that must be it!
"Your world isn't entirely safe either." Pei Zhi said as he led Xu Youling up the escalator. "What do you do here? Is it military-related?"
Is the work I do in your world related to the military? Xu Youling thought of the cats and dogs he had washed and thought this speechlessly, but he still tried to explain it to Pei Zhi in words he could understand: "It's just... writing documents in the office, then standing up and walking around with the documents in my arms, that kind of thing."
"Really?" Pei Zhi's expression remained unchanged. "It suits you very well. It's very safe."
What misunderstanding do you have about the world that would make you use the word "safety" to describe an ordinary white-collar job...
Xu Youling nodded heavily and said to Pei Zhi, "Yes, I think so too."
It feels good to not have one's true emotions seen through, as it avoids a lot of trouble that would have otherwise been caused by Pei Zhi.
Thank God.
When the two walked out of the subway station, it was already drizzling outside. In fact, the sky was a little cloudy when they just left the hospital, so Xu Youling was not very surprised.
"Hmm... the nearest bus stop is five minutes away. Why don't we take shelter from the rain at a nearby shopping mall before heading out."
Xu Youling confirmed the weather forecast and decided to seek Pei Zhi's opinion.
Pei Zhi had no objection. He nodded quickly, then used his arm to shield Xu Youling's head, and the two of them went into the nearest shopping mall together.
The rain gradually got heavier as predicted by the weather forecast.
Pei Zhi wiped Xu Youling's hair, which had been slightly stained by rain, and found a bench as if he were on the subway. Although Xu Youling only just realized that it might be because Pei Zhi's dark face was really a bit scary, so people automatically started to move aside. He smiled apologetically and sat down next to Pei Zhi.
Pei Zhi's hand naturally wrapped around his waist and pinched the soft flesh, making Xu Youling shiver and move closer to Pei Zhi.
The two of them were in a position where they could see the mall's gate, the rain outside the gate, and a real estate advertisement on the roadside that Xu Youling was already very familiar with: Give your lover a home.
Home...?
Xu Youling's heart suddenly sank, but he didn't turn around to look at Pei Zhi. He didn't know if Pei Zhi was truly happy that he had brought him to this world. Although Pei Zhi had agreed quickly at the time, he didn't know if he regretted it.
He didn't know if his tiny rental apartment could truly be considered a home, a place where he, Pei Zhi, and their little love could grow. How would Pei Zhi survive here? Would he be able to adapt? Could he accept that this world's attitude toward a couple like this wasn't similar to that world's attitude toward the union of a Sentinel and a Guide?
What if we break up?
Xu Youling realized that not being able to sense the other person's emotions was a very bad thing for both of them, even for him. Because in the past, he made so many decisions that now seemed a bit hasty because he knew that Pei Zhi loved him very much and was happy with him.
But what does Pei Zhi think now?
Xu Youling didn't know that love could make people so anxious about gains and losses. He pursed his lips, trying to drive such boring thoughts out of his mind. He turned his head and said to Pei Zhi, "Are you hungry? It seems that the rain will continue for a long time. We can eat first..."
"Are you unhappy?"
The two spoke almost at the same time. Xu Youling's rapid speech, caused by nervousness and pre-written notes, was abruptly interrupted. He looked at Pei Zhi with a gloomy face in almost surprise. The latter had a very dull expression and his thick brows were furrowed.
No matter how you look at it, she seems even more unhappy than Xu Youling.
"Are you unhappy?"
Xu Youling stopped talking for a moment, and Pei Zhi asked again patiently, his brows relaxed a little, as if just asking Xu Youling whether he was happy or not had made him feel a little relieved.
"I wouldn't say I'm unhappy, I'm just a little..." Xu Youling lowered his head, hesitant to speak. "I was about to ask you, are you happy? You've been deprived of your sentinel ability all of a sudden, and you can't even immediately sense whether I'm happy or not... I just feel, I just..."
"I'm very happy." Pei Zhi said.
Xu Youling raised his head blankly and looked at Pei Zhi's serious expression.
"I'm very happy to be with you." Pei Zhi said softly, "Whether it's accompanying you in the hospital, riding the subway together, or coming here to hide from the rain, I'm very happy."
"It will be a little bit strange at first, with the Sentinel abilities and stuff like that, but it will be fine soon. On the one hand, I came here because I like you and want to be with you, but on the other hand, I can no longer accept that world. No matter what you think, this is my independent choice, and I am responsible for my decision."
Xu Youling's face was stunned, but his hand involuntarily touched Pei Zhi's face.
"So you have to believe me." Pei Zhi took his hand and said, "Believe that I have countless reasons not to leave you."
Countless reasons about love, freedom and dignity revolve around Xu Youling, illuminating another path.
So no matter what, we must take this path and never look back.
Xu Youling quickly moved closer, touched Pei Zhi's lips, and then separated: "It's a reward."
"Didn't they say it's not allowed in public places?" Pei Zhi narrowed his eyes.
"Well...did I say that?" Xu Youling looked away.
Pei Zhi raised his eyebrows without surprise, took Xu Youling's hand and stood up. He then realized that the dark clouds outside the window had dispersed and the sudden rain had stopped.
A real estate advertisement not far away was washed away by the rain, quickly revealing a ferocious housing price figure. Xu Youling quickly looked away, determined not to let this stupid thing affect his mood.
"Let's go, then?" Pei Zhi said cheerfully, "Let's do something that's inconvenient to do in public."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
