Chapter 39
In the next two days, Zhang Jusong would rather walk a longer distance and avoid the Student Square, because he "wanted to see the apricot leaves lining the path."
On the last day of registration for the campus singing competition, Xia Zhiheng sent her to the dormitory building. After hesitating for a moment, he asked her again, "You really don't want to participate?"
"No." Without even asking what she wanted to participate in, she refused outright, as if it would be bad if she spoke too slowly.
Xia Zhiheng shrugged his shoulders: "Okay, just make up your mind, see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow."
When going upstairs, he heard faint thunder. Zhang Jusong turned on his phone and checked the weather forecast. It was said that there would be thunderstorms in the next two days.
Fortunately, she and Xia Zhiheng had no classes tonight, and Zhang Jusong felt a little relieved.
When she opened the dormitory door, her roommates were not there. She turned on the light and sorted out the homework she had to finish.
After a while, I suddenly heard crackling sounds outside the window. The heavy rain was falling, making the trees downstairs rustle.
Zhang Jusong walked to the window, frowning slightly. Manman went home today, but Annie hasn't come back yet, and I don't know if she brought an umbrella. Just as I was thinking of sending Annie a text message, I suddenly heard the door lock turn.
Annie exclaimed with a look of relief: "Wow, luckily we got to the dormitory building before the rain started, otherwise, we would have been soaked to the skin."
"I'm glad you're back. I was just about to ask you if you want me to send you an umbrella." Zhang Jusong put down his phone.
Annie took out the iPad from her bag and said to her, "Ju Song, you signed up for the campus singing competition? Why didn't you tell me?"
Zhang Jusong was stunned for a moment: "What do you mean?"
"I just came back from the Student Union. The Arts Department has summarized the preliminary list. I took a look and saw your registration information." Annie smiled and said, "Don't worry, I will definitely ask my classmates to cheer for you."
After digesting the meaning of her words, Zhang Jusong's face suddenly darkened, as gloomy as the rainy sky outside the window.
She didn't sign up.
But the registration information that Annie saw couldn't be false.
She couldn't think of any other answer except someone.
In the boys' dormitory, Xia Zhiheng leaned back on an ergonomic chair and lowered his head to send a message.
"Hello, I would like to ask, I signed up for the campus singing competition, but I can't participate for some reason, can I cancel the registration?"
After more than ten minutes, the person in charge finally replied: "There are too many people in the primary election, so there is no need to cancel it. If you don't show up after three minutes, it will be regarded as giving up."
Apparently, the students who organized this event were too busy to bother with canceling the registration.
It's not a big problem, Xia Zhiheng thought to himself, since my sister doesn't plan to go, then it's automatically cancelled. Although it's a pity, her opinion is still the most important.
When he saw Zhang Jusong's expression that day, he knew that she wanted to participate in the competition. But for some reason, she chose to avoid it even though she clearly wanted to, and she didn't make a thorough decision. She was always distracted in the past two days, and she was hesitant at a glance.
As the days passed, he was afraid that by the time she hesitated enough and finally made up her mind, the registration would have ended, so he made some inquiries and thought of reserving a registration spot for her. If she was willing to go in the end, it wouldn't be a delay; if she wasn't willing, it wouldn't matter, after all, it was a preliminary round and there were many applicants, so he didn't think it would have a big impact.
After confirming with the classmate in charge of the competition registration, Xia Zhiheng felt relieved. There was no loud rain outside the dark window for the time being, perhaps it was the end of the sudden rain.
The dormitory was lively, with three roommates playing games on their phones. Xia Zhiheng didn't like playing games. Apart from studying, he basically revolved around Zhang Jusong. As a result, his relationship with other roommates gradually became less close, and it could be said that their friendship was as light as water.
But it doesn’t matter, as long as Zhang Jusong is willing to pay attention to him.
When he thought of her name, his brows softened unconsciously, and he felt a warm joy, almost like a sunflower seeing the sun.
Xia Zhiheng unlocked the locked drawer, took out the photo album and turned to the latest page, looking at the photo of him and her in the amusement park. Suddenly, he heard the sound of wind chimes - the ringtone he specially set for Zhang Jusong, and Xia Zhiheng quickly picked up his phone.
"Are you in the dormitory?" Zhang Jusong's voice sounded extremely calm. But it was precisely this calmness that made Xia Zhiheng frown. When she was a child, she would speak in this suppressed calm tone whenever she was angry. Almost instantly, he realized one thing: she was unhappy.
He also frowned unconsciously: "Yes, sister, is there anything wrong?"
"I do have something to do," Zhang Jusong said, "Can you please come down for a moment? I'll be waiting downstairs in your dormitory."
"Okay, I'll come."
He held the phone in his hand and hurried to the door. Before he could open it, there was only a busy tone on the phone; she had hung up.
She ran all the way down the stairs and rushed downstairs. The cold white light of the street lamp shone on the raindrops. Zhang Jusong was holding a red umbrella, and her hair was blown by the wind. The red color of the umbrella made her face look even paler.
Seeing him, Zhang Jusong said calmly: "Follow me."
There is a small path on the south side of the dormitory building, near the river. Except when the weather is good, there will be students taking a walk, but usually there are not many people.
Zhang Jusong was silent, her steps were fast and heavy. But the road seemed to be against her. She stepped on a loose tile, and the hidden water soaked up her trouser legs, which was very uncomfortable and had a faint smell of stinky water.
"Be careful." Xia Zhiheng reached out to her, trying to help her. Zhang Jusong dodged by darting backwards.
She held the umbrella tightly, took a deep breath, and continued to move forward.
She stopped only after she was far away from the dormitory building and made sure that her talking would not disturb others. However, she did not turn around or look at Xia Zhiheng.
"Xia Zhiheng, you signed me up for the campus singing competition, right?"
"I was thinking..."
"Is it or isn't it?" Zhang Jusong interrupted him rudely and aggressively for the first time.
There was silence for a moment.
Xia Zhiheng whispered, "Yes."
She turned around suddenly, and the accumulated rain water flew out along the small pointed corner of the umbrella.
"Why do you make decisions for me?"
Xia Zhiheng said, "I didn't. I was just afraid that you would miss this opportunity, and by the time you are a senior next year, you really won't have time to participate in the campus singing competition."
"Why should I participate?" Zhang Jusong's voice suddenly rose in pitch. "Why should I humiliate myself?"
"What do you mean by humiliating yourself? You sang very well—"
"That was before!"
Zhang Jusong shouted, "Xia Zhiheng, do you understand that I am no longer that sparkling girl!"
Xia Zhiheng stared at her blankly, his eyes full of surprise.
She felt her whole body trembling, breathing heavily, like a fish thrown ashore, and her voice was intermittent.
"Why would I want to humiliate myself? When I show up, they will only say with a tone of great regret, 'Oh, she has grown ugly', 'It must be because she is lazy and doesn't work hard that she is getting worse and worse'."
She hammered her leg with her hand: "Yes, I am not so pretty now, nor so smart, and no one likes me."
Xia Zhiheng said: "But I like you."
"You like me?" Zhang Jusong suddenly laughed, tears rolling in his eyes, "Xia Zhiheng, do you like the sparkling me in the past, or the dull me now? Can you really tell the difference?"
She raised her face and cried in a trembling voice, "I understand, I understand everything. You were young at that time, and you would remember a bright star in the night sky occasionally. But now the sky is full of stars, and that star is just the most ordinary and inconspicuous one!"
Xia Zhiheng stared at her quietly: "You can't say that about yourself."
Zhang Jusong covered his face with his hands, sneered and shook his head: "What is there to not say?"
She stared at him and said with a smile: "Compared to before, am I not a complete loser now?"
Xia Zhiheng's voice was also tainted with anger: "Is this how you think of me? Is this how you think of yourself?"
He leaned over, grabbed her wrist, and forced her to stop looking away: "Zhang Jusong, do you dare to say those discouraging words just now to your past self? You told your past self, 'You'll be a loser when you grow up'?"
Zhang Jusong tried to break free from him, but failed. He grabbed his collar and shouted angrily, "You are crazy."
"Who's crazy?" Xia Zhiheng refused to give in.
She could only look into his eyes, but caught a glimpse of heartache.
He frowned and said, "You don't dare to tell your past self, right? Then why do you say these depressing words to yourself every day now?"
The wind started to blow again, rustling the leaves and dropping many raindrops off the leaves.
She stared at him blankly, and whispered through her thin lips: "Let go -"
Xia Zhiheng, who was confronting her, slowly loosened his grip.
Zhang Jusong pushed him away suddenly, turned around and ran away.
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