pattern
After leaving Shuiyue Temple, Ziling asked to see her sister Shangguan Yan. I asked to go with her almost without hesitation. When she hesitated and said "I'm afraid my sister will misunderstand", I said bluntly "I don't care what Shangguan Yan thinks". Puzzlement flashed in her eyes, but I don't know why I blurted out these words - what exactly is my obsession with Shangguan Yan? I used to think it was love, but after meeting Ziling, my obsession with Shangguan Yan gradually disintegrated. Why do I care so much about Ziling's opinion? Maybe I also hope that others, including Shangguan Yan, will misunderstand me and Ziling? I asked to go with her almost without hesitation. I don't know if it is love for Ziling. I only know that I want her to stay by my side and I want to protect her. I am afraid that Ziling will show me such contempt again.
Chou Doufu came to me for help regarding the duel between Shangguan Yan and Sima Changfeng. I declined, citing my aversion to jianghu disputes. When he mentioned how I'd repeatedly made exceptions for Shangguan Yan in the past, I almost instinctively and eagerly denied it, especially in front of Ziling. I solemnly clarified, "All of my past actions were at the behest of my uncle-shifu, and had nothing to do with personal relationships." Ziling, upon hearing her sister's risky move, was deeply concerned and wanted to personally dissuade her. I naturally accompanied her.
Zi Ling, facing Shangguan Yan, expressed his fear and confusion after losing his memory. He regarded Shangguan Yan as his only relative and begged her to take care of herself, even pledging to "share life and death together." These words were so profound and moving that even I couldn't help but be moved. Shangguan Yan promised to return alive.
Yet, the words "sharing life and death" pierced my nerves like a needle. How could I allow her even the slightest mishap? I immediately offered my status as Imperial Master, saying I could help me uncover the truth before the duel and defuse the conflict. How could I let the mastermind succeed? When Zi Ling pressed her on whether Shangguan Yan would fight Sima Changfeng to the death if the truth remained unknown, Shangguan Yan's response, "This is our fate," revealed the difference between her and Zi Ling: one willing to sacrifice her life for her mission and destiny, while the other cherished her life and sought to resolve it. Ying'er, though perplexed by her sister's stubbornness, opted for a more pragmatic approach: helping me uncover the truth. When she agreed to stay by my side, a huge weight lifted from my heart.
Shangguan Yan was temporarily staying at the home of Constable Chou Doufu in Sifang City. Upon meeting Shangguan Yan, her similar clothing clearly led her to misunderstand her. She tentatively asked Ying'er if she remembered the past, but was met with a negative response. The subsequent conversation between the sisters gave me a true insight into Shangguan Ying's mindset and perspective.
Shangguan Yan saw Zi Ling and happily invited him to sit next to her. She held Zi Ling's hand and said slowly, "Yingying, I have heard a lot about your deeds from Chou Doufu recently. You used to work as a civilian in the Sifang City Police Station. Five years ago, you rescued Chou Doufu from the evil thieves. Chou Doufu said that he has admired you very much since then, and he was admitted to the police station as a constable because of you. Chou Doufu said that you punish evil and promote good in Sifang City, and all the wanted criminals in the vicinity were arrested alive by you. You also adopted and helped many homeless orphans. It turned out that your sister was blinded by one thing. In any case, you have forgotten everything in the past. In fact, we should not let the past affect the relationship between us two sisters. Your sister should not have accused you like that a few days ago, saying that you recognized a thief as your father." Chou Doufu's adoptive father said excitedly, "Unfilial piety is unfilial piety. I'm sorry, I accidentally I heard your quarrel. Although Miss Shangguan remembers nothing, it's a fact that she defended her father's murderer. Faced with the accusation of "unfilial piety" from her adoptive father, she didn't refute it fiercely. Instead, she calmly but firmly stated her point of view: "Although I don't have that memory, if I were to choose again, I would still do the same thing. Sister, do you remember me telling you that during my three years in Tianshan, I read many books, including historical texts like "Records of the Grand Historian" and "Zuo Zhuan"? Throughout thousands of years of history, dynasties have been determined by heaven. If every dynasty had regarded itself as our own, hoping that its descendants would regain the throne, it would only lead to endless war and conflict. Perhaps I was wrong, but I will not force myself to do things I don't agree with. My merits and demerits will be judged by future generations!" These words transcended personal grudges and were filled with compassion for the people and a clear understanding of history.
What moved me even more were her words to Shangguan Yan: "My father was loyal to the emperor, my sister was filial to him, and I love my 'country.' This country perhaps refers more specifically to the people of the world. We all have different perspectives, and I disagree but respect them. Loyalty and filial piety are the pillars that hold a family together, but they should not be shackles that imprison national consciousness. I choose to be loyal to the people who continue to live. Perhaps I am truly wrong, but I will not force myself to do something I do not agree with. Future generations will judge my merits and demerits!" She did not try to persuade her sister, but instead expressed her understanding of her choice in the simplest way: "I will eat well, sleep well, and strive to live longer. I do not want you to experience the pain of losing a loved one again. At the same time, I implore you to cherish your own life for me."
The position of Imperial Preceptor of Sifang City had once seemed unattainable, even dismissive, to me. But when the offer was actually presented to me, I hesitated. Zi Ling's eyes gleamed with pure light as she said, "This is due to your ability. Becoming Imperial Preceptor would be a blessing for the people of Sifang City." Her approval carried more weight than a thousand words of advice. At that moment, I not only accepted the responsibility, but also strengthened my resolve to use it to draw closer to the man I both hated and longed for, the man I called my father—Ouyang Feiying.
After taking over as Imperial Preceptor, my deepest fear finally surfaced—my father was the culprit who murdered her father. Will this deep blood feud become an unbridgeable chasm between us? I must test her feelings.
I carefully asked her what she thought of Ouyang Feiying. She pondered for a long time, then said sincerely, "The victors are the kings, the losers are the bandits. I only hope that Ouyang Feiying has the ability to put an end to this chaos!" Her words betrayed a deep love for the common people, not a personal vendetta. I pressed her on whether she wanted revenge, but she firmly denied it, emphasizing the need for legal prosecution. "I always believe that a person deserves death only after a legal judgment has proven he deserves it. Everyone believes, from their own perspective, that they are right and that the other party deserves death. That's why every country needs laws. However, it's difficult for people to align their knowledge with their actions. Perhaps it's because I didn't love my father enough. My sister told me that my grandmother, who favored boys over girls, gave me away at birth, and I never saw my father before I lost my memory..." Seeing the desolation in her eyes, it seemed like she, like me, had been abandoned. My father and I had the chance to enjoy family happiness, but because of him, she never had that chance. Thinking of this, guilt and pity gnawed at my heart. I wanted to hold her, comfort her, and tell her I was still here, but the difference between our positions...
I finally mustered up the courage to ask her if she'd already seen through my relationship with City Lord Ouyang. Her tacit agreement instantly dimmed my feelings. It turned out she'd always known, yet never looked at me differently because of it. Her subsequent words of comfort resonated deeply with me: "I only believe the Ouyang Mingri I see. I know you may not approve of Ouyang Feiying, but you just want to enjoy family life. It's human nature. Actually, I admire you a lot. If my father didn't want me, I certainly wouldn't want him either. And you still care about him so much, I almost want to be your dad!" Then, she looked at me with such tenderness that my heart was filled with tenderness.
She frankly admitted that she didn't want City Lord Ouyang to harm her family, and calmly analyzed the situation, "My sister, under our father's orders, won't take the initiative to seek revenge. My mother, Ding Xuelian, doesn't know martial arts and is just a weak woman. She has no ability to seek revenge. I just want my family to be safe. I won't sacrifice the interests of the living for the dead." A huge weight lifted from my heart, and after a long hesitation, I finally asked, "What kind of person is my father in your heart?"
Zi Ling pondered for a moment and said, "City Lord Ouyang is no ordinary person. He's the Lord of Sifang City. I won't look at him the way I would. Emperor Taizong of Tang, Li Shimin, also ascended the throne by murdering his brother, but he established the Zhenguan Reign. He is an emperor of the ages! His merits and demerits will be judged by future generations." Her rationality and tolerance moved me deeply. Then, I was overwhelmed by an even greater shock. Her words resonated in my ears. I had been struggling in the quagmire of "revenge for my father" and "love," believing it was an unsolvable knot. But she effortlessly drained the swamp, showing me the vast river of history flowing beneath. My struggles, pain, and calculations seemed so insignificant and ridiculous in front of her.
"Zi Ling, stay with me. As long as you're within three steps of me, I'll guarantee your safety with my own life." For some reason, I couldn't help but say this. By the time I realized what was happening, the words were already out of my mouth.
"Okay," Zi Ling said in a voice as loud as a mosquito, lowering her head shyly. "I just remembered that I have some unfinished business. I'm going back to my room." In her panic, Zi Ling almost bumped into a pillar. Fortunately, I caught her. She turned around suddenly, her face redder than a peony. In the hazy moonlight, Zi Ling finally broke free from my hand and ran back to her room.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
