Chapter 336 The Ending (Part 1)
Five years later.
Lingnan.
The morning mist, carrying the damp, salty scent of the sea breeze, slowly drifted over the small town.
In a shop called Nanbei, Shuixian was squatting in front of a row of bamboo racks, carefully examining the herbs drying inside.
Five years have passed, but they haven't left many marks on her face. Instead, they've refined the delicate charm she once cultivated into a more composed demeanor.
Over the past five years, Shui Xian has traveled all over the country, visited many places, witnessed all sorts of things, and made friends with people from all over the world.
Six months ago, she settled down in the Lingnan area and used her funds to open a shop called Nanbei.
The shop is small, with the front half still selling embroidery, bamboo weaving, and shell and mother-of-pearl inlay handicrafts brought from Suzhou and other places.
The latter half was gradually developed by her into a small herbal medicine collection, sales, and preliminary processing point.
She learned some herbal medicine identification skills from a local old man, and with the medical background she had gained from Pei Jichuan and Ana, she managed to run the business quite well.
They not only buy medicinal herbs picked by villagers and resell them to pharmaceutical companies, but also sometimes prepare their own simple tea bags and powders for cooling, relieving summer heat, removing dampness and strengthening the spleen, which are very popular with visiting merchants and local people.
As the morning light streamed in, Narcissus rolled up her sleeves to make it easier to work, revealing a small portion of her fair wrist. Her long hair was tied back with a simple peach wood hairpin, with a few stray strands falling onto her smooth forehead.
On the bamboo rack were various Lingnan herbs, half-dried in the sun. She picked one up, brought it close to smell it, and then looked at its color in the rising sunlight before carefully putting it back in its place.
"My wife!"
A joyful call came from the courtyard gate.
Narcissus looked up and saw that it was Madam Lin carrying a cloth bag as she walked in.
Five years have passed, and Madam Lin has long since paid off the exorbitant loan. She has also gained some weight, her complexion is rosy, and the sorrow and anxiety of yesteryear are gone from her brows, replaced by the decisiveness and efficiency of someone in charge of the household.
She is now in charge of the embroidery section of the shop, overseeing seven or eight embroiderers.
As luck would have it, it was only after a chance encounter in the Lingnan area a few months ago that Shui Xian learned that Lin Niangzi had come to Lingnan with her husband.
Lin Niangzi's embroidery skills remained unchanged, so Shuixian directly asked her to train some local women who wanted to learn a craft to make a living in the shop, and incidentally, manage the embroidery business.
"I've brought the ledgers; they're for this month."
Lin Niangzi placed the cloth bag on the stone table in the courtyard and eagerly opened it. Inside was a hand-bound account book and several newly made embroidery patterns.
"And there's even more good news! The twenty embroidered screens and fifty sets of embroidered handkerchiefs that I asked Chen Haishang, who often travels to Southeast Asia, to take with me last month, were all sold the day before yesterday! The price was a full 30% higher than here!"
Lin Niangzi said quickly, "The ladies and young women from Southeast Asia are absolutely delighted by the exquisite craftsmanship of our Suzhou embroidery and the vibrant colors of our self-designed patterns!"
Narcissus wiped her hands, walked over, and opened the ledger.
She looked at the clear and neatly formatted income figures and a smile spread across her lips.
She picked up the new embroidery patterns again, one of red flowers and kingfisher, and the other of banana leaves in the night rain. The colors were strikingly contrasting, but the needlework was still delicate.
"The sisters' skills have become more and more refined."
She praised her, and Madam Lin's smile widened, feeling honored.
In the afternoon, after taking a short rest, Narcissus was preparing to visit an old woman in the west of the city who had caught a cold.
This old woman was extremely skilled, especially in embroidering lychees and other fine fruits of Lingnan. Unfortunately, her children and grandchildren were unfilial, and she lived a lonely and miserable old age. Shui Xian often provided her with money, food, and medicine.
Just as they were about to leave, the sound of horses' hooves came from outside the shop. A man dressed in a gray cloth jacket jumped off his horse, holding an oilcloth package stamped with sealing wax.
"An urgent document from the capital. Lord Shuixiu instructed that it must be delivered to you personally."
The man respectfully handed over the package.
Narcissus felt a pang of anxiety, but her face remained impassive.
She thanked the messenger, took the package, and returned to her room in the backyard.
I removed the sealing wax; inside were two letters.
The letter was quite thick, written in Shui Xiu's handwriting, and reported on the recent situation of the women's official school in the capital and some interesting anecdotes from the court and the public.
On another thin envelope was a lifelike drawing of a magnolia flower.
It was a mark that Yongning and she had agreed upon.
Shui Xian first opened Shui Xiu's letter, quickly glanced at it, and learned that everything was fine, the female official system was being implemented smoothly, and officials from humble backgrounds such as Lian Chenxi were gradually gaining influence.
Although occasional discussions arose in the court about the Empress's long absence from public view, they were all forcefully suppressed by Emperor Zhaoheng...
She quickly read through the entire letter before letting out a slight sigh of relief.
Then, he picked up his daughter's letter.
The letter paper was specially made in the palace, and it was written in neat small regular script by Yongning, who was not old.
[My dear mother's opinion:]
When the willows of Jiangnan turn green again, are the lychees of Lingnan ripe? My daughter misses them dearly.
Upon seeing the first two sentences, Shui Xian couldn't help but smile. Yongning, this child, was even starting to write letters in a literary style, just like adults.
Yesterday, Father Emperor took a day off and accompanied his daughter and brothers to the Imperial Academy to observe a gathering. The students debated fiercely, discussing the proper relationships between mother and son, and ruler and subject. Halfway through the debate, Father Emperor suddenly turned to his daughter and whispered, "If your mother were here, citing classical texts and explaining the principles, she would surely have silenced these students."
[Your daughter knows that your father misses you again.]
Before Shui Xian's eyes, she seemed to see Emperor Zhaoheng sitting high in the main seat in the Imperial Academy, but his mind was elsewhere.
She pursed her lips slightly and continued reading.
[The day before yesterday, Qingyan and Qinghe were practicing riding and archery at the drill ground. Qingyan accidentally fell from his horse, and Qinghe, trying to pull him up, also fell. When the imperial physician applied medicine, their daughter saw their little faces scrunched up, yet they stubbornly bit their lips, refusing to cry out.]
[When their daughter asked if they were in pain, Qingyan replied, "Father said that a real man must be strong, shedding blood but not tears. Only when you become strong can you protect Mother."]
Narcissus's breath hitched slightly.
The children have grown up, and although they still visit her every now and then after she left the palace.
But a child's growth is like the April sky, changing every day.
She was gone for five years, missing out on her child's growth...
Narcissus blinked, concealing the disappointment in her eyes. She turned the page and saw the end of Yongning's letter.
At the end of the letter, Yongning wrote:
[My daughter has recently been learning figure painting from an artist, which I've attached to this letter. Please don't laugh at her work, Mother, it's not very good.]
Narcissus turned the letter over, and sure enough, a small portrait was attached to the back.
It turned out to be a profile portrait of Emperor Zhaoheng.
The lines are indeed immature, but the focused and attentive expression has already captured three or four parts of Emperor Zhaoheng's spirit.
She looked at it for a while before carefully folding the letter and portrait and putting them into the trunk in the inner room.
There's a thick stack of letters and doodles that have been sent by the children over the past few years.
Each time she flips through it, it adds a touch of warmth to her solitary journey, but also a touch of melancholy.
Composing herself, Narcissus went out as usual and headed south of the city.
After visiting the old embroiderer, leaving her some money and herbs, and telling her to rest well, Shui Xian walked back along the bluestone path.
On a warm winter afternoon in Lingnan, the sun shines brightly, and the streets are bustling with people, full of lively atmosphere.
As I passed through a quiet alley, a heart-wrenching cry of a child suddenly came from a small courtyard with blue bricks deep inside the alley.
"I want my mother! Let me go back! I want to go home... Waaah..."
The cries were shrill and desperate, unlike the usual childish tantrums and whining; they sounded as if the child had suffered a great injustice, making one's heart clench.
Perhaps it was a mother's intuition, but Narcissus stopped in her tracks.
Above the gate of the small courtyard hung a plaque with the four characters "Chen Family School," indicating that it was a private school set up by a family.
The courtyard gate was tightly closed, but the crying could still be clearly heard through the door, interspersed with the impatient scolding of an adult man and the sound of bamboo sticks being struck.
Upon hearing the strange noise, Narcissus couldn't help but frown slightly.
Just then, the door of the neighbor's house creaked open, and an elderly woman with gray hair, carrying a vegetable basket, peeked out. Seeing Narcissus standing there looking around, she sighed and shook her head, saying:
"Oh dear... it's starting again. Every day at this time, there's bound to be a commotion."
Narcissus politely asked, "Auntie, whose child is this? Why is he crying so sadly?"
The old woman looked around and lowered her voice: "It's the son sent back by Master Chen from the city. I heard that Master Chen is a high-ranking official in the capital!"
"I heard the official position is quite high. According to the rules of those wealthy families, the legitimate son born to the first wife must be sent away from his mother and back to the ancestral home when he turns five, so that he can be raised by the men of the clan."
Narcissus was taken aback: "Why send her away from her mother?"
"Sigh, they say they're wary of raising a useless child out of womanly compassion!"
The old woman curled her lip, her face showing a dismissive expression. "Saying that Mother is soft-hearted and spoils the child will turn a perfectly good young master into an unambitious wastrel."
“We don’t understand those grand principles, but we’re all human! Such a tiny baby, suddenly separated from his mother, sent to this unfamiliar hometown, and handed over to some strict and old-fashioned men to be disciplined. Beatings and scoldings are common, and rules are paramount. How could he not cry?”
The old woman sighed, "This child has been here for almost a year. When he first arrived, he cried all night long, and now he often does the same thing during the day... It's heartbreaking to hear about it."
As Narcissus looked at the tightly closed courtyard gate and listened to the gradually weakening sobs that turned into suppressed whimpers, a certain part of her heart was struck hard.
"I've heard that the rules for those nobles in the capital are even stricter and more elaborate!"
The old woman started talking, unaware of the origins of the narcissus in front of her, but continued, "Princes and grandsons of the emperor are taken away as soon as they are born and cared for by wet nurses and nannies. Their birth mothers are considered fortunate if they can see them two or three times a month!"
"When they reach the age of five or six, they will have to move to a separate palace to study under the Grand Tutor. When mother and son meet, they must follow the palace rules. There are rules about the time, how long they can meet, and what they can say!"
Sometimes, it's us ordinary folks who are happier...
Shuixian couldn't quite hear what the old woman said after that.
Her ears were ringing, and what she saw before her eyes was no longer the gray bricks and tiles of a small town in Lingnan, but rather layers of palaces and high vermilion walls.
While she was in the palace, she focused solely on survival and struggle.
After giving birth to Yongning, because she was a princess, the rules were not very strict.
After giving birth to twins, Emperor Zhaoheng dismissed the harem for her and took her directly to the Qianqing Palace.
Looking back now, it's true that there was such a rule in the palace to separate mothers and children in order to prevent the maternal relatives from seizing power.
Such a monarch, raised to such a state, has a heart that is desolate and cold, devoid of love and warmth.
How can someone who has never truly experienced the warmth of complete family affection understand how to sympathize with the suffering of the people and give benevolence to all living beings?
This realization suddenly sent a chill down Narcissus's spine.
Her leaving the palace for her own freedom was also a form of separation between mother and child.
She is not just a narcissus who lived two lives.
She is also the mother of Yongning, Qingyan, Qinghe, and Yong'an.
Narcissus pursed her petal-like lips, gave the old woman a forced smile, and then quickly left.
That night, the small town in Lingnan was completely silent.
Only the sea breeze rustling through the coconut grove makes a soft, rustling sound.
Narcissus sat alone by the window, with herb drawings that she hadn't finished during the day spread out on the table.
But at this moment, her mind was in turmoil, she couldn't lift her pen, and she couldn't concentrate on reading.
She pushed open the window, and the cool moonlight mixed with the damp smell of the sea rushed in.
Looking up at the night sky, the Milky Way hangs low, no different from what I saw five years ago in Suzhou, three years ago in Dongting, and one year ago in Guilin.
The universe is vast, and time is long.
During her five years of travel, she witnessed the vastness of the world and the beauty of its landscapes.
She has witnessed the myriad aspects of life and the hardships of the people.
And in this continuous journey, I see my true self more and more clearly.
The freedom she sought was no longer confined by the palace walls.
The sense of security that comes from earning a living with her own hands and helping others gives her a greater sense of peace.
However, above freedom, there is also responsibility.
Outside the window, the long, drawn-out fishermen's songs drifted on the sea breeze from a fishing boat returning late, until they faded into silence.
On a warm winter night in Lingnan, a woman who had been away from the palace for five years began packing her trunks for her return...
......
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