Qingying opened the wooden box. On the top shelf was a letter, and underneath it were a stack of banknotes, house deeds, land deeds, and some loose silver.
The handwriting on the letter was unfamiliar, but very beautiful.
Granny Zhang came from a poor background. She was sold into the Pan family as a maid for one or two taels of silver when she was young. She was a few years older than Madam Pan. She learned etiquette only to better serve her master. At first, she was a junior in the mansion and was often bullied. She struggled to make ends meet, so she naturally had little opportunity to learn to read.
This letter was written by a fellow villager scholar at the expense of Zhang Mama, who spent one tael of silver to write it for her.
As Qingying read through the letter, it felt as if Granny Zhang was sitting across from her, speaking to her gently and kindly.
She said, "By the time you receive this letter, my lady, I will have already passed away. Please don't grieve for me; it's not worth it."
“I have served three masters in my life, from Old Madam Pan to the eldest daughter (Mrs. Pan), and then to you, Miss. Only you have treated me like family. I will never forget the kindness you have shown me. But the person I feel most indebted to is you, Miss.”
“When I was working for the old lady, I was always bullied. Fortunately, there was an old nanny who took care of me. I was also clever and resourceful, and I seized the opportunity to climb up the ranks. I finally reached the position of a first-class maid and was promoted to serve the eldest young lady. The eldest young lady used to be a very good person. She only lost her temper occasionally, but she was born into a noble family, so it was normal for her to be a little arrogant.”
"I followed the eldest daughter into the Liu family after she married into the family. At that time, the Liu family was a poor and lowly household. The eldest daughter suffered a lot of grievances after marrying into the family. Fortunately, at that time, the master loved and respected her, and life was not too bad. However, as the master rose in rank, he gradually changed his heart and kept a beautiful mistress. He even thought of bringing Ye into the mansion as a concubine. During that time, the eldest daughter cried every day. I also resented Ye because of this, and I also resented Ye's child."
"When you were first brought into the manor, Madam sent me to your side. On the surface, it was to take good care of you, but in reality, it was to monitor your every move. You often fell ill when you were young, but it was actually me who tampered with it. Knowing that you had a lung disease and could not be exposed to willow catkins, I still mixed willow catkins into the cotton wadding of your pillow. Sometimes I would add something to your food or tea. I was uneducated and did not know what I added, but I knew that it would worsen your condition."
"Although this was done with the madam's permission, it was also my own selfish motive. But the young lady has never doubted me for a moment, only thinking that she was just unwell. I often dare not look directly into the young lady's clear eyes, as if they were a mirror that reveals the ugliness in my heart."
“From a young age, the young lady wanted to learn riding and archery, and dreamed of riding a fast horse across the grasslands like the master and young master. You like to fly kites in the spring, go to the lotus pond in the summer, watch the wild geese fly south in the autumn, and pick winter plum blossoms in the cold winter. This servant knows all of this, and the madam knows it too. So the madam forbids it. She can’t bear to see the young lady’s eyes crinkling with joy, and she can’t bear to hear the young lady’s laughter. She only feels happy when the young lady is bedridden all day, imprisoned in a small space by her own weak body.”
"Over the years, Madam has never restricted Miss from going out, since she knows you won't go far anyway. She has taught you manners, music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, making you a respectable noblewoman in the capital. This makes everyone say she is generous and praise her virtue. Only I know that Miss doesn't like these things. It's just that Miss is sensible and understands that only by obeying can she win Madam's favor."
“Do you remember when you were ten years old, you passed by Biyuan Garden and wanted to see the plum blossoms? Unfortunately, the plum blossoms were not in bloom at that time. You hoped to go back when the plum blossoms were in full bloom, but you fell ill after returning home and were bedridden for many days until summer. As a result, you missed the blooming of the plum blossoms that year, and you have not been able to see the plum blossoms in full bloom in winter.”
“The longer I stay by your side, Miss, the more sins I accumulate. The better you treat me, the more guilty I feel. Later, I never did my best in the things you asked me to do, but I was afraid you would see through me, so I only did half of it.”
"They poisoned the second young lady by threatening my nephew's life. My brother died young, and he is the only son left in my family. I have no choice but to protect him. This is my selfishness. They sold me into the Pan family and signed a contract of indenture. In fact, we should have severed all ties long ago, but blood ties cannot be severed so easily. Therefore, I harmed the young lady. I deserve to die."
"In the wooden box are all the savings I've accumulated over the decades. I never married, but Madam still gave me a small plot of land and a shop as my dowry. I found a trustworthy manager to take care of it, and that's how I gradually accumulated this wealth. Now that I'm leaving, I won't need it anymore. I'm giving it all to you, Miss, as a way of repaying the kindness we've shown each other over the years."
"Actually, I knew long ago that His Highness the Crown Prince often sneaked into the young lady's room at night, but seeing that the young lady was happy, I did not tell you the truth. I did this not to lessen my sins, but because I know that I can never make up for it no matter what."
"I'm saying all this just to warn you, young lady, not to trust others too easily, and not to feel sad because of Madam's current mistreatment, because she has never truly treated you well."
"I understand that you may hate me now, and I accept it. I dare not ask for your forgiveness. I only wish you peace and happiness for the rest of your life. Now that I am gone, please do not be sad. It is not worth it."
“The last words of the slave Zhang.”
As Qingying read through the text word by word, tears welled up in her eyes, and she couldn't quite describe her emotions.
Do you hate it?
Somewhat.
She's not a saint. How could she not hate such a complete deception after so many years of sincere treatment?
But she couldn't blame Zhang Mama for anything. She was just a maid who obeyed her master's orders, and she had to leave this world with her sins. This should be considered retribution.
It was Pan's actions that truly terrified her...
It turns out that Madam Pan hadn't changed at all; she had never been a kind person. She kept Qingying by her side to torment her, showing affection on the surface while secretly harming her.
Qingying felt incredibly stupid for having once been grateful to her and even felt guilty towards her because of her birth mother.
Pan caused her to lose her freedom for many years, damaged her body, and almost ruined her life. How could she not hate her?
Qingying burned the letter on the fire, then turned to look at the two maids with solemn expressions. The heartache in their eyes was genuine.
“Granny Zhang, you’re right. Sometimes we shouldn’t trust the people around us too easily. But there’s a saying: ‘If you use someone, don’t doubt them; if you don’t trust someone, don’t use them.’ You’ve been with me for many years, and I’ve never doubted you before. But now that I’m older, I know how to judge people.”
She took two silver notes out of the wooden box and handed them to Tongxia, saying, "Find some people and give Granny Zhang a proper burial."
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