Ha Yue had ridden away on her electric scooter the day before, never imagining that Xue Jing's promise of "see you later" would happen the very next afternoon.
Jinzi had a day off on Saturday. She drove Xue Jing to inspect a used car and they made a sale on the spot. Out of gratitude, Xue Jing insisted on transferring a referral fee to Jinzi. Xue Jing immediately gave her 18,888 yuan. It was just a small favor, so Jinzi didn't want it.
That evening, Xue Jing went to the largest shopping mall in the area and bought some high-end gifts that Jinzi's wife, Cao Xiaoyu, and Jinzi's mother, Siqin Tuoya, would use in their daily lives.
The next day, Teacher Xue came to visit, and since he brought so many nice things, Jinzi and Xiaoyu insisted on having him stay for a simple meal.
So, on Sunday evening, Ha Yue closed her shop and went home. She had just parked her tricycle in front of her house and was inwardly complaining about which bastard had blocked her parking space with such a big, beat-up pickup truck when she saw Xue Jing sitting in Aunt Siqin's yard, drinking tea, about five meters away.
On a dark and windy night, Xue Jing's jawline was as sharp as a knife, and the silver light on it was even more chilling than the frost at dawn.
This person, however, was all warm and cozy, dressed from head to toe in cashmere or suede, exuding a relaxed and elegant air. He also wore a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, his amiable smile masking a hint of hostility on his face.
Xue Jing was very gentle, with one hand on her knee and the other holding a glass of salty milk tea that even she couldn't get used to. She was chatting and laughing with Aunt Siqin, as if they had already become close friends despite their age difference.
Amidst Aunt Siqin's silvery laughter, Ha Yue was so frightened by the scene before her that the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. It was as if she had seen a large tiger squinting and pretending to sleep in a crowded rabbit cage. Without daring to linger, she immediately ran into her own front door and hid in a corner to calm her fear.
What exactly is Xue Jing trying to do? Yesterday he was dressed like a cute, innocent college student on a little electric scooter, and today he's suddenly going for a refined scoundrel look? Besides, who would wear fine cashmere pants while sitting on a small, splintered stool?
She felt sorry for the fabric just looking at it; money shouldn't be wasted like that.
Zhao Chunni had just finished feeding the piglets in the yard when she pushed open the door and saw Ha Yue standing on tiptoe, eavesdropping in a panic. She loudly questioned her, "Hey! What are you doing? Why aren't you eating? What are you eavesdropping for in the corner? Are you out of your mind?"
Zhao Chunni roared so loudly that she seemed afraid her neighbors wouldn't hear her.
"Mom!" Ha Yuehu's body trembled, and a small mournful cry came from his throat. He then ran quickly from the yard to the living room, leaping over several geese blocking his way, just like a hurdler.
He slammed his fist hard on the back of the sofa. The athlete, on the verge of a breakdown, didn't even have time to sit down before pulling out his phone to text Xue Jing.
What are you doing next door to my house?
What were you saying to my aunt?
"I'm warning you, don't talk nonsense about us! I'm still staying here even after you leave. If you say anything out of line, you'll regret it!"
In my imagination, Xue Jing wouldn't say anything nice. He would probably say how she used to start relationships and then abandon people, how she was a habitual liar who always bragged, and how she's not any better now, turning her back on people as soon as she puts her pants on.
Who knew that a bestselling author could be even more shameless than a female troublemaker? The local bully was instantly caught off guard, his mentality collapsed, and he wanted to roll on the ground in despair.
Xue Jing quickly replied to her message, his tone innocent and his explanation reasonable.
"?"
“I’ve been troubling Jinzi a lot lately when I need to use the car at the Cultural Bureau, so I bought some gifts for my family.”
"The Jin couple were so hospitable that they insisted I stay for dinner, and I really couldn't refuse."
"I was just chatting with my aunt about the new novel I'm currently writing."
"This time I plan to use Suicheng as the background, and everyone is very happy."
"Ha Yue, didn't you say last time that you hoped I would write better and better?"
"My new book has a very fresh style, and it might be able to break through the limitations of my first book. Aren't you happy for me?"
"I thought you really hoped I could achieve something in literature. Turns out you were just kidding me."
Ha Yue stared at his message, her earlier panic instantly turning into guilt. She had been judging him by her own petty standards.
She thought that she had been attracting a lot of bad romantic attention lately, and that Xue Jing had started resorting to that cliché revenge tactic of "if you can't have someone, destroy them."
Her face flushed and paled in turns. Ha Yue bit her lip and rubbed her itchy earlobe with her fingers. Just as she was feeling extremely ashamed and regretful for misunderstanding the other party's intentions, Xue Jing sent her two more messages.
"It's not daytime now, so would it be convenient for you to come over tonight?"
"If transportation is inconvenient, can I pick you up and drop you off?"
Perhaps fearing he might infuriate her, Xue Jing followed the question with a picture of a Maltese dog making a face.
A puppy that looks exactly like her profile picture is wagging its tail and acting cute in front of the screen.
City Hospital, Jinzi's Home, Vegetable Market.
Throughout the week, Xue Jing "coincidentally" ran into Ha Yue three times and invited her out three times, but without exception, Ha Yue refused him outright.
The last time, he didn't even speak, but just glanced at her slightly from the fish stall while wearing a cape-like trench coat.
Ha Yue abruptly cut off his feigned friendliness, grabbed his arm, and led him to a secluded corner. She crossed her arms and accused him by name, "Xue Jing, don't you think you're becoming a bit perverted?"
You really need to talk some serious advice to yourself.
"You can't just think about the present; you have to think about the future. Haven't you seen the news? The situation across the country is not good recently, and many places have started to restrict travel again."
“You can’t just not come home because of this, can you? You’ve been wandering around Suicheng for weeks now. If it’s really too much, I’ll keep you company a few more times. Once that’s enough, we’ll get going.”
Ha Yue was serious at the time, her back to the warehouse where raw fish were processed. Inside, an old woman was washing river fish with a tap and threw a stale crucian carp toward the door. Immediately, a shiny tabby cat jumped out from the shadows and picked up the fish from the ground.
The wild cats, used to being fed, were not afraid of people and curled up at Ha Yue's feet, tearing at the fish.
The fish wasn't quite dead; its survival instinct made it wag its tail back and forth under the claws and teeth, the blood mixed with water stains turning its milky white paws crimson.
The scene was absurd and had a strong sense of dark humor.
Animals kill for food, which seems so natural, and when this is captured by a photographer, it creates a kind of cruel beauty.
People may strive and run around to satisfy their desires, but they always seem so low and vulgar, and are looked down upon by others.
So who exactly gave humans the right to appear noble simply by feigning indifference and feigning hypocrisy? Isn't it humans themselves?
Love is inherently filled with selfishness and jealousy; in order to achieve one's goals, it is never very dignified.
Xue Jing watched the cat eat the fish and felt he hadn't done anything wrong. He had come to terms with it and wasn't satisfied with just a few times. Since the past had been cleared up and he had made amends, he had no reason to hold a grudge. His current demand was that Ha Yue take the initiative to change her mind and say that she still wanted to be with him.
That feeling must have been wonderful; his answer didn't even need to wait a second longer.
Xue Jing lowered his gaze, the fish head landed on the ground, and he thought about it seriously before answering Ha Yue's question.
"I don't think I'm a pervert. Desire begins in the heart and is expressed in actions. I'm just using a very simple way to express my thoughts to you."
"Plain and simple?" Ha Yue's posture was still defensive, but Xue Jing could tell that she was getting embarrassed again. The whites of her eyes were tinged with the moist sunset, no longer shining with a cold blue light like cold weapons.
Having emotions is better than not having emotions.
People shouldn't have such grand and beautiful love when they are too young, because their minds are not yet mature and their bodies are still developing. Once all the hateful adult patterns are fixed, the youthful excitement becomes a fossil, permanently remaining in the utopia of thought.
That wretched thing is impossible to completely remove. Even if you break your teeth and swallow the blood, it is still like a tenacious spore, just waiting for spring to grow, it will multiply all over the mountains and fields, and even bloom flowers on the corpse.
He was simply determined to wait for that romantic breeze; he wanted to wait, and he could afford to wait, since it wasn't the first time he'd waited.
But Ha Yue is spraying these lingering emotions with powerful pesticides in large quantities.
She put her hands on her hips, her freckles, originally light brown, turning a warm color. "You're really something, Xue Jing! You call messing around with women 'simple and honest'?"
"You've really figured out how to play word games."
"May I ask how many people you still maintain such a simple relationship with? I'm not good at time management, so if I'm being cheated on, you'll have to give me a schedule so I don't lose my temper and get into conflicts with the other women."
"Oh, it could also be Xiao Ba and Xiao Jiu, right? I've heard that scumbags use multiple lines when they're fishing, numbering and noting them. May I ask what number they are?"
In the nine-minute fencing match, Ha Yue made fifteen consecutive strikes with a contemptuous expression, believing that she had hit her opponent's weak point every time.
But during this verbal exchange, Xue Jing didn't get angry or embarrassed. Instead, he looked at her ears, which were gradually turning red, with great interest and asked her, "Ah, so you also mind my current romantic history? Just like how I feel about it?"
"That day you asked me why I kept the scar when it was so ugly. I haven't seen you these past few days, have you thought about it? Did you guess the conclusion?"
The argument took a turn for the worse. Ha Yue pursed her lips and remained silent, thinking that she would not fall for these stupid questions again. She tensed up and took a step back to show her complete refusal. However, Xue Jing did not care whether she accepted the challenge or not, and still gave her a kind reminder.
A breeze swept through the hall, ruffling the hair on Ha Yue's forehead into her eyelashes. The hair stuck to the base of her eyelashes must have been very itchy.
How could she not even blink? He's not some monster, what's there to be afraid of? She stopped putting her hands on her hips and started crossing her arms again, a typical psychological defense posture.
Xue Jing spoke with self-assurance, raising his hand to straighten her hair. Ha Yue, not wanting to lose face, gritted her teeth and didn't scream or run away, so he lowered his head in response.
The sound was suddenly lowered as the perspective shifted, creating a sense of intimacy, like lovers whispering secrets.
"I have no one else around me, and I haven't been in a romantic relationship with anyone else in the past few years."
Everyone says that to erase the traces of love, it takes at least twice as long to forget.
He's a bit slow on this, and for four years he hasn't been interested in stimulating dopamine secretion. Now that it's making a comeback, it's causing a flood in his body.
"After graduation, I regularly attend the 2015 Jida alumni reunion, hoping to bump into you and something will happen."
However, Ha Yue never participated even once. Not only did she break up with him, but she also lost contact with all her classmates.
“Last year, I stopped going because some alumni said that you left Jicheng for New York, married a rich second-generation man whose family was in business, and earned an annual salary of five million. You know how many rich kids aren’t completely corrupt? Back then, I prayed every day that his family would go bankrupt, preferably through a hostile takeover, or that he himself couldn’t bear the halo of his parents and would take drugs and become addicted to drugs.”
But the imagined enemy doesn't seem to exist, which is a great thing, and he didn't really want to curse someone to death.
"After the breakup, I really wanted to wish you happiness, but to be honest, I couldn't. I'd actually be happier if you weren't happy, because wouldn't that prove that you can only find happiness with me?"
Her earlobes were painted with rouge, and her lips with tea rose petals.
Xue Jing's breath grew closer and closer. He spoke with a smile, his lips slightly upturned, as he asked for a kiss.
Ha Yue bit her tongue, her face was as red as blood, a tsunami seemed to be behind her, and an earthquake seemed to be in her eyes. In order to control her overloaded heartbeat, she didn't even breathe.
Ha Yue has a rather cold personality and has never had any close friends, so she has never told anyone over the years that her first boyfriend was really good at kissing.
This was the result of their repeated practice and refinement together by studying shoujo manga and adult movies. Perhaps even the most despicable person has a narcissistic complex, and the preferences they set themselves are always more special because they are created by themselves, and therefore the best.
It's inappropriate to compare an ex-boyfriend's skills to a custom-made item, as it objectifies men and offends the principle of equality. However, in the thrill of a passionate kiss, Xue Jing represents the crystal high heels that every little girl has ever longed for. If Ha Yue wore them, she could dance and float to the moon.
But she was no longer a little girl; she knew how wonderful weightlessness was, and how heavy the resulting weightlessness was, so she rejected this foolish and naive romance.
"Xue Jing!"
Ha Yue reached out and pushed Xue Jing's chest to stop him from getting closer, but the warning was useless. The willful contestant continued to break the rules frequently. Xue Jing looked at her lips and even considered the way to kiss her. His nose bridge was not short, so Ha Yue needed to turn her head slightly to cooperate.
She used to be very cooperative. If he did well, she would gently stroke his neck with her fingers to encourage him and never hesitate to praise him. That day was no exception. She said she felt very comfortable and her whole body felt warm and moist.
But Ha Yue was a bit far away, so he took another step forward.
The words in my heart just naturally came out of my mouth.
“Of course I’m not doing this for that one thing, but there’s nothing wrong with that kind of thing. You used to tell me to be more proactive and not to pretend so much. You even said that Eileen Chang wrote about the path to a woman’s heart…” Before Xue Jing could finish speaking, Ha Yue took a step forward, not to reciprocate his tenderness, but to press his chin down firmly with her right hand.
He stopped pretending and completely shed his polite military uniform, becoming like an emperor in new clothes, but Ha Yue was still not satisfied.
A week later, the boomerang of vicious words still flew back from the hotel room where the sheets were torn. Ha Yue pressed her right palm hard against his lips and grabbed his collar with her left hand. Her voice was full of anger and embarrassment. Her eyelids were so thin that they were red as if they had been smeared with cinnabar for warding off evil.
In front of the cat and the dead fish, just like he had that night, she growled at him, telling him to shut up and stop talking nonsense.
Her composure had waned somewhat, but she said fiercely, "A true hero doesn't dwell on past glories; tell him to stop spouting nonsense."
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