A Long Journey
Volume 5, Chapter 2 of "The Return Journey is Like a Rainbow"
In the spring of 1952, Gu Huaiyuan's search for his family officially began in that small courtyard in Shandong. He carried a faded military satchel containing dry rations, a meager amount of savings, a carefully preserved, yellowed family portrait (showing his parents and younger brother), and a blurry sketch he had drawn based on his father's recollections of a childhood burn scar on his brother Junwen's arm. His baggage was light, but the responsibility on his shoulders was immense.
His first stop was Northeast China, the place where that nightmare began—Linjiangtun.
Returning to his old haunts, the village was a changed world. The former blacksmith shop was now just a ruin overgrown with weeds. Standing in the abandoned courtyard, he could almost hear his mother's kind voice and his father's teachings, and he could almost see the snowy night his younger brother tumbled down the cliff. He suppressed the sorrow in his heart and visited the village's elderly residents. As time passed, many were gone, and those who remained mostly spoke only vaguely of the brutal manhunt that had taken place, only vaguely remembering that the two children from the Li family's blacksmith shop "might have run into the mountains," and that "it seems one of them was picked up by a passing opera troupe."
"A theatrical troupe"—this was the first and most important clue Gu Huaiyuan obtained. He remembered this word firmly.
With this faint clue and the tenacity of a soldier, Gu Huaiyuan's footsteps began to traverse the towns and villages of Northeast China. Carrying that blurry family photo, he asked everyone he met, especially the elderly who might have had contact with the opera troupe. He visited forest farms, mines, and county towns of all sizes, mingling in local markets and temple fairs, because those were the places where opera troupes most frequently appeared.
He slept on train station benches, squatted in roadside corners, and ate cornbread frozen solid. To save money, he often ate only two meals a day, using his saved allowance to buy train tickets or pay small rewards to anyone who might provide clues. The northern winds and sands etched their marks on his young yet resolute face, his military uniform slowly faded, but his eyes remained bright, burning with an inextinguishable hope.
Years passed, and the clues came and went. Someone said they had seen a similar opera troupe in the Jilin area, so he rushed there immediately, only to find that the troupe leader's surname was Zhang, and there were no apprentices in the troupe who matched his age and characteristics; someone else said that there was a martial arts actor in Rehe with excellent skills, as if he had been trained since childhood, so he traveled over mountains and valleys to get there, only to find that the man's age did not match.
During this time, he wrote to his father regularly to let him know he was safe and to report on the progress of the search—although most of the time it was "no news yet." Gu Tieshan's replies were always simple: "I know, be careful, and let us know if you need more money to send messages." The deep affection between father and son was condensed in these simple words.
As the 1950s progressed, Gu Xiuyuan's search area gradually expanded southward with troop movements and the accumulation of information. He used every business trip and family visit as an opportunity to meticulously examine every possible location along his route where the opera troupe might be found. Hebei, Henan, Shanxi… he witnessed the local customs and traditions, and tasted the bitterness of his search for his family. Many times, he thought he had grasped the last vestige of hope, only to find it was yet another misinterpretation and disappointment.
Once in Shaanxi, he received definite news that a theatrical troupe that had migrated from Northeast China was performing in a certain county. One of the troupes was a taciturn young martial arts performer whose age and appearance bore a resemblance to Junwen. Gu Xiuyuan traveled overnight by truck for over ten hours, ignoring the dust and grime, and rushed into the troupe's backstage area. The martial arts performer, who was applying makeup, turned around in astonishment; it was a completely unfamiliar face.
Hope burst like a soap bubble. At that moment, overwhelming exhaustion and despair nearly crushed Gu Xiuyuan. He sat alone in a corner of the dilapidated stage, watching the noisy crowd below, feeling for the first time a profound loneliness and helplessness that seeped into his bones. He remembered his father's eyes before he left, his father's increasingly hunched back, and his younger brother possibly suffering in some unknown corner…
But he couldn't give up. He was the son of Gu Tieshan and Shen Lanjun, and the older brother of Gu Niansheng. The "stubbornness" of a Shandong native and the unwavering determination of a soldier to complete his mission sustained him as he stood up again.
He turned his gaze further south. An old performer told him that many opera troupes from the north had gradually moved to the Jiangnan region, or even the more prosperous Lingnan region, in order to survive.
The humid and sweltering climate of the South, coupled with language barriers and unfamiliar food, presented new challenges to Gu Huaiyuan's search. Yet, he persevered, traversing the water towns of Jiangnan and the arcade streets of Lingnan. His satchel grew increasingly worn, the edges of the family portrait frayed from his constant handling, and he could even draw the sketch of his brother's burn scar with his eyes closed.
The long journey tempered his will and dried his tears. He transformed his longing for his loved ones into resolute steps. He didn't know where the end was, but he knew that as long as there was a sliver of possibility, he would not stop. This road was destined to be walked alone, until the day a miracle occurred, or perhaps, until the end of his life.
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