The weight of life
Volume 5, Chapter 4 of "The Return Journey is Like a Rainbow"
Carrying the unfinished clues from the farm in northern Guangdong and utterly exhausted, Gu Xiuyuan continued his journey between urban and rural areas in the south. The long hours, malnutrition, immense mental stress, and the oppressive heat and humidity of the south finally took their toll on this tough man.
On his way to a neighboring county to gather information, he suddenly felt dizzy and a high fever swept over his body like a raging fire. He collapsed on the edge of a paddy field by the roadside and lost consciousness.
When he regained consciousness, the first thing he smelled was a faint scent of herbs and the clean smell of soap. He was lying on a bed covered with a plain blue printed cloth, covered with a thin blanket, and with a cool, damp towel on his forehead.
"You're awake?" A gentle, soft female voice came from inside.
Gu Xiuyuan turned his head with difficulty and saw a young woman dressed in a common indigo homespun shirt from the south carrying a bowl of medicine as she walked in. She was about twenty years old, with delicate features, healthy tan skin, and eyes as clear as mountain spring water, carrying a hint of concern and shyness. Her name was Axiu, and she was the daughter of a herb-gathering family native to these mountains.
“It was Ah Xiu who found you by the mountain road and carried you back. You’ve been unconscious for two days.” Ah Xiu’s father, a taciturn but kind-faced old pharmacist, came in and felt his pulse. “Overwork, cold pathogens entered your body, plus stagnant heart fire… Young man, your body is severely depleted.”
Gu Xiuyuan opened his mouth, wanting to say thank you, but only managed to utter a hoarse, breathy sound.
"Don't speak yet, drink your medicine." Ah Xiu held the bowl of medicine to his lips, her movements gentle but leaving no room for refusal.
Under Ah Xiu's and her father's meticulous care, Gu Xiuyuan's high fever gradually subsided, but he remained extremely weak and needed a long period of rest. He had no choice but to stay temporarily in this simple wooden house located in a mountain valley.
During his convalescence, he rarely spoke, often gazing blankly at the distant, misty mountains, his brow furrowed with an unyielding sorrow. Ah Xiu didn't ask many questions, but silently prepared his medicine, cooked for him, and bathed him every day. She would save the best food in the house for him, and when he woke up from nightmares at night, she would promptly bring him a bowl of calming warm water.
Occasionally, Gu Xiuyuan would help her father organize medicinal herbs or repair the fence. The way he worked silently made Ah Xiu's father nod in approval. Ah Xiu would secretly watch the outsider's resolute yet vulnerable profile while washing clothes by the stream, and a strange feeling would arise in her heart.
One evening, Gu Xiuyuan watched Ah Xiu's busy figure in the kitchen. The firelight illuminated her gentle face, and a long-lost warmth of "home" quietly touched his frozen heart. He suddenly spoke, his voice low: "I'm looking for my brother."
This was the first time he had spoken about his own story. He briefly recounted the changes in his family, the loss of his younger brother, and his years-long search that spanned half of China.
Ah Xiu listened quietly without interrupting until he finished speaking, then softly said, "We'll definitely find it. God won't let good people suffer forever."
She used no flowery language, only the simplest of beliefs. These words, however, were like a ray of light, illuminating Gu Xiuyuan's gloomy heart.
As Gu Xiuyuan slowly recovers, feelings quietly grow between him and Axiu. He admires her kindness, resilience, and purity; she feels sorry for his persistence, deep affection, and loneliness. In this secluded mountain valley, two equally simple and kind hearts draw closer and closer.
However, Gu Xiuyuan's heart was always bound by that unfinished responsibility. As soon as his health improved slightly, he took out the worn family photo and sketch to examine them again, his gaze once more turning towards the direction beyond the mountains.
Ah Xiu sensed his intention to leave. She didn't try to stop him, but one morning, she carefully packed a bag of dry food and herbs into his luggage, lowered her head, and asked in a slightly trembling voice, "Will you... come back?"
Looking at the woman before him who had given him a second life and boundless warmth, Gu Xiuyuan was filled with complex emotions. He knew he couldn't make any hasty promises to her; his journey wasn't over yet.
He raised his hand and, for the first time and with utmost solemnity, grasped Ah Xiu's hand, which was roughened by years of hard work.
"I will definitely come back once I find my brother." This was the most important promise he made.
Ah Xiu's tears welled up instantly, and she nodded vigorously.
Carrying the strength of life given to him by Ah Xiu and that weighty promise, Gu Xiuyuan embarked on his journey once more. This time, though his steps were still heavy, a warm light seemed to shine in his heart. He knew that in this vast world, he was not alone on his solitary journey.
The weight of life lies not only in the inescapable responsibilities and the unforgettable longing, but also in the helping hand extended in times of despair and the deep affection that quietly grows and gives people strength.
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