torrent
No longer a few lonely fugitives, they were completely integrated into the tide of people heading north to survive, becoming a weary and silent torrent crawling on the earth.
Leaving the small county town where we had briefly resided, the world suddenly opened up, and suddenly became desolate. The road was a worn-out asphalt road, with withered grass stubbornly pushing out of the cracks, like the last feeble struggle of this long-suffering land. The procession stretched extremely long, with no end in sight, winding and crawling under the leaden gray sky of early winter. Most people had their heads down, their eyes empty, their steps mechanical. Only when they occasionally glanced at the children beside them would a faint light flash in their cloudy eyes, the last spark of humanity keeping this human torrent from complete collapse.
Gu Tieshan naturally walked on my outside, his injured yet still broad body shielding me from the pushing and shoving from the most crowded part of the crowd. He didn't speak, just walked silently, his gaze sweeping across the front and left and right like a hawk, his taut jawline forming an invisible barrier. Xiao Chen mostly walked a few steps ahead, sometimes quickly scouting the way, sometimes stopping to wait for us, his young figure nimbly weaving through the crowd like a harpoon paving the way for a school of fish, each time he turned back, his eyes always carrying a clear inquiry and concern.
The air was thick with dust, sweat, and a faint, mingled odor of blood and excrement. An old woman, her head wrapped in a tattered headscarf, pushed a creaking wheelbarrow piled high with illegible belongings. An old man, seemingly ill, coughed incessantly. A man leaning on a cane, one leg clearly weak, walked with difficulty, yet he never stopped. A woman holding an infant, her expression numb, mechanically and gently rocked the crying child. This was the torrent we were in, a confluence of countless broken lives and fading hopes.
We had been walking safely for two days. Apart from exhaustion and dwindling rations, nothing major had happened. The cries of children, the whispers of the group, and the occasional distant sounds—whether it was the wind or gunfire—created a monotonous and oppressive accompaniment to our journey. Until that night, we found a place where we could temporarily escape the wind and cold—an abandoned earthen bunker.
two
This earthen fortress, its age unknown, has mostly collapsed rammed earth walls, the exposed surfaces riddled with bullet holes and traces of wind and rain erosion, silently recounting the calamities it has endured. Yet, the remaining ruins still offer a meager respite from the biting night wind.
Based on their place of origin or the tacit understanding formed along the way, the refugees spontaneously divided into several small groups, occupying different corners of the fortress, drawing invisible lines between each other with wary glances. One group, led by an elderly man with a white beard (some whispered that he was the "old village chief"), maintained some order and distributed food and water fairly. Another group was led by several burly young men with weapons at their waists, exuding hostility, their eyes scanning the crowd like jackals weighing their prey. As for us, the lone "outsiders," we could only find a corner against the wall that could barely block the wind from three sides and quietly settle down.
When the meager amount of food and water was distributed, a conflict inevitably broke out.
One of the burly, dark-skinned men from the "fighting faction," clearly dissatisfied with his meager share of murky, cold water, glared at her, muttered a curse, and reached for the earthenware pot belonging to a woman with a little girl nearby (later identified as Xiu Niang). Xiu Niang flinched, tightly clutching the wailing girl to her chest, her voice trembling with sobs as she pleaded, "Brother, please have mercy, the child is so young..."
The burly man, impatient, shoved her to the ground, causing the earthenware pot to roll over and spill water all over the ground, soaking Xiu Niang's thin clothes.
Almost the instant the woman fell to the ground, Gu Tieshan, who had been resting with his eyes closed, moved.
He didn't roar, but simply stood up abruptly, taking a single step to stand in front of the man. His tall figure cast a deep shadow in the dying embers of the campfire, like a mountain suddenly rising from the ground. He said nothing, his face grim, his gaze like two cold, sharp blades, fixed intently on the man's face.
"What? You want to meddle in other people's business?" The burly man was stunned by the imposing manner, then shouted in a fierce but weak voice, his hand subconsciously reaching for the wood-chopping knife tucked behind his waist.
Gu Tieshan remained silent, but his right hand shot out with lightning speed. Before anyone could see what he did, the man cried out in pain as his wrist was gripped by an iron clamp, and the woodcutter's knife clattered to the ground. Gu Tieshan's hand remained motionless, but the man's face turned a deep liver color from the pain and the force, and the veins on his forehead bulged.
“Brother,” Gu Tieshan finally spoke, his voice not loud, but like a heavy stone, clearly hitting everyone’s eardrums, “water is scarce, but it’s something that keeps you alive. Bullying women and children isn’t a skill. If you really want to fight, come at me.”
At that moment, the earthen fortress was so quiet that only the whistling of the wind cutting through the broken walls could be heard. All eyes were focused on him. The leader of the group of burly youths, a tall, thin man with a scar on his face, squinted at Gu Tieshan for a moment, his hand still on the homemade pistol at his waist. Finally, he twitched his lips, snorted, and turned his head away. Under Gu Tieshan's strength that seemed to crush his bones and his unyielding gaze, the burly man finally deflated, reluctantly pulling his hand away, picking up his machete, and slinking back into his group, not daring to even glance at the water on the ground again.
The commotion subsided. Xiao Chen had somehow appeared to our side, his hands in his pockets, his sharp eyes scanning the group opposite him until they completely fell silent.
Xiu Niang, pulling the still-shaken little girl along, came over to us and thanked us in a low voice. Her gaze lingered between me and Gu Tieshan for a moment before finally settling on my face. Her voice was very low, carrying a hint of knowing wisdom and comfort from someone who had been through it all: "Sister, in this world, your man is a true hero, able to protect you and the baby... It's not easy. Live a good life."
My throat tightened, and I wanted to explain, "He's not..." but the words caught in my throat. Looking at Xiu Niang's sincere yet envious eyes, and then at Gu Tieshan, who had already sat back down and was silently wiping the gleaming iron rod in his hand, the explanation seemed pale, superfluous, even somewhat pretentious. In the end, I simply nodded slightly, gave a mumbled "Mmm," and unconsciously tightened my collar. Gu Tieshan seemed to pause for a moment, but that was all.
three
As night deepened, most of the refugees huddled together to sleep, seeking a moment of peace amidst the cold and fear. Gu Tieshan and I were responsible for keeping watch for the first half of the night. Xiao Chen, clutching his rifle, leaned against a nearby broken wall, feigning sleep, his breathing even. But I knew the boy was very alert; his ears were constantly perked up.
The small campfire, fueled by some gathered dry branches, flickered weakly, casting an uncertain glow on Gu Tieshan's sharply defined profile. Perhaps the conflict during the day reminded him of something, for he unusually spoke first, his voice hoarse, as if it had been roughened by sandpaper.
“I used to… had a younger sister. She was about the same age as Xiu Niang’s.” He stared at the faint flame, his eyes somewhat vacant, as if piercing through the flame to see a distant past that could never be returned to. “When things got chaotic, I couldn’t protect her… I just watched helplessly as she was gone.” His Adam’s apple bobbed, and the rest of his words were swallowed up by a very soft sigh.
"Later, I fought guerrilla warfare with the troops, and... many brothers fell beside me." He continued, his tone calm yet carrying immense weight. "Some fell right next to me, their blood still warm... and then they were gone." He didn't elaborate on the horrific details, but the heaviness and profound regret contained in those few words almost crushed the silent night. "Sometimes I feel that my life was both a gift and a debt. I need to protect a few more before I feel at ease."
I listened quietly, without interrupting, and gently broke off a dry twig and threw it into the fire. A soft crackling sound followed, and sparks flew. I knew this was a scar deep within his heart, one he rarely showed, now brutally exposed tonight because of Xiuniang and her daughter, because of this desperate journey.
“Seeing you…” He suddenly turned his head, his gaze heavy as it fell on my face. The campfire flickered in his eyes, shimmering with a complex and indescribable light. “Raising a child, it’s so hard, yet you grit your teeth and persevere… without a word, without complaining, I…” He seemed to want to say something, but those words were too difficult and too unfamiliar for a man like him who was used to letting his actions speak for themselves and suppressing his emotions deep inside. His words stopped abruptly, but the unfinished meaning, and the something more intense and heavy in his eyes than the campfire before him, had already been clearly conveyed, making my heart clench slightly.
Just then—
"Bang! Bang bang!"
Outside the earthen fortress, in the distant darkness, sporadic gunshots suddenly rang out! Crisp, cold, with a metallic quality, they abruptly shattered the tranquility of the night and struck everyone's hearts hard.
Gunshots!
Everyone was awakened. After a brief silence, there was an uncontrollable commotion and the terrified cries of children. Fear, like an icy tide, instantly engulfed the small earthen fortress.
Gu Tieshan sprang to his feet instantly, the gentleness and dazedness in his eyes replaced in a cheetah-like sharpness and calmness. Xiao Chen also opened his eyes immediately, without the slightest trace of confusion from just waking up. He gripped his gun tightly, rolled to a firing position against the wall, and peered outside.
"Northeast, about two or three miles away," Xiao Chen's voice was short and clear.
"Pack your things and get ready to leave! We can't stay!" Gu Tieshan's voice was deep and decisive, leaving no room for doubt, instantly drowning out the noise at the scene.
We hurriedly slung our meager belongings over our shoulders. The child was also startled awake, squirming restlessly in my arms. In the deepest darkness before dawn and amidst the sudden panic, Gu Tieshan quickly picked up our luggage as well, his gaze sweeping across the chaotic crowd before finally settling on my face, his eyes leaving an unwavering mark in the cold air.
"Stay close to me."
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