Chapter 20 "I'm here for everything..."
Lu Yu isn't a bad person by nature; he just lacks a sense of security and love.
Meng Xi held his hand tightly, hoping to offer him some warmth.
When Lu Yu was grabbed, he immediately stiffened and didn't even know what to do next.
Holding on or pulling away seems inappropriate, yet I can't bear to part with this fleeting tenderness. So I remain motionless, like a fish out of water drenched in rain, greedily absorbing her warmth.
Her fingers were slender and soft, carrying her unique fragrance.
Lu Yu's barely concealed sense of loss gradually receded into his heart.
He looked at Meng Xi with a complex and indescribable gaze.
The moment Meng Xi met his gaze, his expression was deep and complex, carrying emotions she couldn't decipher.
In that instant, Meng Xi felt as if she had been electrocuted, and the shock made her feel strange all over.
His eyes...
Meng Xi was not unaware of those matters of love and romance.
She had never dared to think in that direction before.
She couldn't believe that Lu Yu, who seemed so aloof and arrogant in her eyes, would ever set his sights on her.
So far, all her interactions and conversations have been nothing more than the two of them finally becoming friends.
She remembered that Siyu had asked her before, "Lu Yu doesn't like you, does he?"
She said it was impossible without even thinking about it.
How could someone who recently scared themselves to tears possibly like themselves?
But after these past few days, she's really starting to doubt it...
The way Lu Yu looked at her was exactly the same way Luo Ying had looked at him back then.
But why?
Her initial interactions with Lu Yu were far from pleasant.
Upon confirming this possibility, Meng Xi's heart started pounding uncontrollably again.
Her other hand twisted nervously together. She stole another glance at Lu Yu, and her still tightly clenched hand suddenly felt as if it had been electrocuted, burning with embarrassment.
What was just a perfectly innocent act now seemed unusually ambiguous.
Meng Xi couldn't help but think, what if Lu Yu really did have even a little bit of affection for her?
She's walking right into the lion's den...
She lowered her head, not daring to let Lu Yu see her flushed face. Her mind was in turmoil, and she felt embarrassed even to look at Lu Yu.
If... if...
But the college entrance exam is coming up soon, and she's not even an adult yet.
Meng Xi took a deep breath and tried to calm her wildly pounding heart.
She recalled all the moments she had spent with Lu Yu.
The two of them have very few memories from the past four years.
In her memory, Lu Yu never bothered to even glance at her, and being a dependent, she was very sensible and never bothered him.
He would only steal a glance at the table occasionally.
Meng Xi was still clueless.
She also had those romantic, girlish thoughts.
But she understood perfectly well that taking a look was acceptable.
But she wouldn't have any delusions.
She relies on the Lu family for everything, including food, clothing, shelter, and transportation. She needs to be dutiful and not do anything foolish like kicking someone after they've served their purpose.
Furthermore, Lu Yu is never short of beautiful women around him, while Meng Xi is of average appearance and would never dream of turning a sparrow into a phoenix.
Originally, Lu Yu had frightened her so much that the thought had vanished. However, his repeated help and closeness still left a shadow in her heart, which would grow wildly as soon as it saw the light of day.
Meng Xi pulled herself together and looked at Lu Yu on the hospital bed, her feelings a complex mix of emotions.
A mix of anticipation, hesitation, avoidance, and excitement overwhelmed her; she didn't even know how to handle it.
If this ambiguous relationship continues indefinitely...
Her heart will be in turmoil, and their relationship will never be the same again...
The rain pounded against the window outside, and the atmosphere inside the room fell into silence.
From all perspectives, the best outcome for them would be for Lu Yu to have no feelings for her, and for her to silently suppress her newly stirred emotions.
After she left, they each found their own happiness.
She doesn't force her way into a world that doesn't belong to her, nor does she cause trouble or annoyance to Aunt Xu.
Meng Xi lowered her eyelashes and looked at her hands, which were tightly gripping the hem of her skirt.
After much thought, Meng Xi sighed inwardly. She opened her bright, watery eyes and gazed intently at him, tentatively whispering, "Lu Yu..."
Lu Yu looked up at her, his hands clenched into fists uncontrollably under the covers, his expression indifferent.
She whispered, "Do you have someone you like?"
Lu Yu's heart skipped a beat.
He didn't realize that his voice was even trembling slightly, and asked, "Why do you ask that?"
Meng Xi was surprised that Lu Yu would throw the question back at her. Feeling flustered, she didn't dare to look at him anymore. Her voice was soft and sweet, with a hint of disappointment. She forced a smile and said, "It's nothing. I was just asking."
Lu Yu stared intently at Meng Xi's expression, unwilling to miss a single detail, and pressed on, "Why are you suddenly concerned about my private affairs?"
Meng Xi felt a little awkward upon hearing this and quietly changed the subject, her soft voice tinged with guilt: "Of all your previous girlfriends, which one did you like the most?"
Lu Yu had been waiting for this for a long time: ...
He said expressionlessly, "I don't like any of them."
Meng Xi asked in confusion, "Then why do you have so many girlfriends?"
Lu Yu: "..."
His pupils contracted, and his voice became somewhat muffled: "You mind this?"
Why do I always end up giving the problem back to her?
Meng Xi was annoyed, but didn't know how to refute it. After thinking for a long time, she repeated herself, her tone slightly reproachful: "Wasn't I asking you a question? Can't you answer me first?"
He said softly, "I want to see if I can feel anything."
"How does it feel?" Meng Xi pressed for an answer, bringing her small, delicate face closer to Lu Yu's, her beautiful eyes almost touching his, and even her breathing became softer. "Is it the feeling of liking someone?"
This time, Lu Yu finally realized something was wrong.
Meng Xi kept asking him what he was doing about his love life.
Does she care?
Once he understood this, Lu Yu's mood instantly brightened, and he slowly smiled.
He stared at Meng Xi's expression and asked casually, "Why are you so concerned? Do you like me?"
Meng Xi seemed to have been guessed, blushed and whispered in protest, "That's not true."
Lu Yu mischievously moved his face closer and slowly said, "Really?"
"Um...it really isn't!"
Meng Xi awkwardly moved her face away a little, secretly annoyed by her abnormally rapid heartbeat.
It's illogical that he's gotten so confused just because he might like me...
This is terrible!
After so many back-and-forth arguments, it seems she can't win against Lu Yu.
Meng Xi steeled herself and looked at Lu Yu, asking, "Lu Yu, I feel like you've been acting strange lately, you're treating me very differently... I'm not just imagining things, I'm just..."
Fearing she might be presumptuous, Meng Xi weakly continued, her voice growing softer and softer: "I hope there's no distance or unnecessary thoughts between us... that we can still be good friends..."
Lu Yu frowned, forcing himself to sit up straight in bed despite the pain, his heart sinking: "Be good friends?"
Upon hearing this, Meng Xi immediately understood his meaning. She felt a little flustered and didn't even dare to look Lu Yu in the serious eyes.
She bit her lip timidly, her voice soft and confused: "I don't know either..."
Meng Xi sighed, feeling a little guilty for some reason: "Lu Yu... I... I don't know if you can understand what I'm saying, but for the two of us, being friends is the best thing right now, that's for sure."
After saying "It's true," Meng Xi felt a little down. She lowered her head and planned to stand by the window for a while.
Meng Xi's figure was slender and delicate, appearing hazy and fragile in the dim light.
He listened quietly, and Meng Xi said softly, "We are too far apart, and I have to take the college entrance exam. I don't want this to affect me."
"Besides... I'm not even an adult yet..."
After listening, Lu Yu understood what she was talking about and said calmly, "I didn't force you to do anything, so what are you afraid of?"
Meng Xi herself didn't realize that after going through so much, when she spoke to Lu Yu, she no longer felt afraid or panicked, but instead became familiar and natural.
After finishing her own words, Meng Xi shakily opened her doe-like eyes and looked at Lu Yu, saying, "Am I... overthinking things?"
Lu Yu didn't reply, his cold face bearing a half-smile: "After all that talking, is there any important point? The important point is about you and me."
"How does it feel?"
Meng Xi, with her back to him, said, "Why isn't there a single key point? The gap between us is too vast, and I have too many concerns."
She sighed softly, her tone unusually gentle, yet her words were cold and hurtful to Lu Yu.
“I’m just staying at your house, Lu Yu. From food and clothing to shelter and daily life, everything has been taken care of and helped by Aunt Xu. Have you ever thought about how I’m supposed to explain that I’ve lived in your house for four years?”
Speaking of this, Meng Xi was surprisingly calm: "If I were to grant your wish, Aunt Xu would probably be even more upset. Do you think I could do such a thing? It's not that I'm heartless, it's just that some things, knowing they are impossible yet still doing them, are not courageous, they are irresponsible."
Lu Yu stared at Meng Xi with a detached expression, his tone somewhat cold: "Meng Xi, you won't give us even the slightest chance. How do you know she definitely won't agree?"
Meng Xi sighed: "You are Aunt Xu's only son, and the sole heir of both the Xu and Lu families. But what about me? Do you know that I never even dared to dream of these things before?"
"It's because I'm not worthy."
Lu Yu's expression was somewhat pained, and his tone changed from feigned indifference to near despair: "I don't care about these things."
Meng Xi felt a lump in her throat, and her heart clenched uncontrollably. Had Lu Yu's feelings for her really reached this point?
Before she could speak again, Lu Yu clenched his fists, his eyes reddened, and his tone made Meng Xi's heart ache: "Besides, how do you know she definitely won't like it? If it's because of you that I can get back together with her, do you think she wouldn't like it?!"
He means it!
Meng Xi's eyes widened, almost unable to believe that Lu Yu had said these words. He was practically using all his dignity to negotiate with her.
He was actually willing to bow down to his mother for Meng Xi's sake.
But if it were because she was willing to compromise, then he wouldn't be Lu Yu...
His pride was about to crumble in her hands.
Meng Xi's tears streamed down her face uncontrollably. Wiping them away, she leaned over Lu Yu's bedside, unable to contain her overwhelming emotion: "I won't talk about that anymore, Lu Yu. Let's take it one step at a time, okay?"
Lu Yu gently stroked Meng Xi's eye with his fingertips, and after a long while said, "Okay."
“However…” Meng Xi’s panicked expression gradually calmed down. She silently moved a little further away from Lu Yu and muttered softly, “Speaking of this, I’ve remembered something.”
She looked at him clearly, her eyes no longer showing fear, only gentleness and a hint of barely perceptible cunning: "Lu Yu, I'm quite vengeful."
"Do you remember how you treated me last time?"
To kill someone by attacking their spirit, Meng Xi added coolly, "Besides, you still have so many ex-girlfriends."
Meng Xi stood up and smiled, her tone shy and gentle: "That's why I'm punishing you. Let's talk about these things after we get to university. You should get some rest first!"
After saying this, Meng Xi turned and was about to leave.
Inside the room, Lu Yu's heart clenched suddenly, a suffocating feeling washing over him like waves crashing on the shore.
It was his fault back then.
He hasn't been able to properly apologize to her yet.
"Meng Xi!" Lu Yu hurriedly rolled off the bed, but accidentally fell to the ground and hit his wound hard.
Lu Yu looked towards the doorway, where Meng Xi's figure was getting closer and closer.
What are you doing?!
Meng Xi rushed over to help him up, a hint of reproach in her beautiful eyes, and sighed softly, "I'm not really angry."
"It's just that now is really not a good time for many things."
Lu Yu looked at her almost obsessively, his words sounding like a plea: "Meng Xi, don't be afraid."
Please, don't push me away.
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