12
Cheng Yu thought Xu Yu was giving up on himself. He didn't expect that Xu Yu was simply objectively describing his actions.
On the other side, Ji Shengsheng couldn't stand Xing Xing's joke, so she looked at Xiao Yang and said seriously, "Xing Xing and I are childhood friends who grew up together, the kind of friends who could never fall in love."
"It has never happened before, and it is absolutely impossible in the future."
“He’s more like your little brother!” Xiao Yang confirmed.
“That’s right!” Ji Shengsheng affirmed.
Xing Xing sighed helplessly, "...Don't make me look so short, okay?"
For the next period of time, Ji Shengsheng answered Xiao Yang's questions about Xing Xing's growth process. She answered Xiao Yang's questions seriously, so that Xiao Yang could understand Xing Xing's past more clearly.
After recounting all this, Ji Shengsheng's mouth was dry.
Xiao Yang seemed to suddenly come to his senses: "Oh right, there was a handsome guy who passed by twice in the distance just now, super handsome."
Ji Shengsheng looked around but didn't see anyone. After basking in the sun for a while, Ji Shengsheng went to the bathroom alone.
The line for the women's restroom was as long as ever, and it took a long time before Ji Shengsheng finally got her turn.
Perhaps because there were too many people, the condition of the restroom was somewhat worrying, and the woolen coat she was wearing was not very convenient.
Ji Shengsheng stepped out and looked towards the door, where he immediately spotted Xu Yu not far away.
Ji Shengsheng looked at the girl behind him, gestured for her to go first, and then quickly ran to the door.
Xu Yu seemed to hear her movement and turned to look at her.
"Help me get my coat." Ji Shengsheng took off her coat and stuffed it into Xu Yu's arm before quickly running towards the restroom where there was no one in line.
Xu Yu waited a few minutes, and Ji Shengsheng reappeared in front of him: "Thank you."
It felt as natural as if nothing had ever happened last night or before.
It felt as natural as when they first met recently.
They acted as naturally as ordinary alumni without any stories to tell.
Ji Shengsheng has a clear conscience towards him.
"Luckily you're here," Ji Shengsheng breathed a sigh of relief, "otherwise it would have been quite difficult."
Ji Shengsheng isn't exactly a germaphobe, but she's still somewhat concerned about hygiene in public places.
After putting on her coat, Ji Shengsheng looked at Xu Yu and asked, "Where are you having your team building activity? Is it far from here?"
Xu Yu looked at Ji Shengsheng.
Their relationship could have been like misprinted pages in a book, unrelated to their respective life storylines, and could have been torn out without affecting the development of the story.
Unfortunately, he insisted on having an influence.
After Ji Shengsheng finished speaking, she waited for Xu Yu's reply. But Xu Yu not only didn't speak, but also kept staring at her.
Ji Shengsheng lowered her eyes and suddenly remembered that she had gone to deliver chicken soup to Xu Yu late last night... The image of Xu Yu standing at the door asking her "to stay or to leave" suddenly appeared in her mind.
Then... Ji Shengsheng secretly glanced at Xu Yu, wanting to know Xu Yu's expression, only to find that Xu Yu had already seen through her actions.
Seeing Ji Shengsheng trying so hard to find a solution to the current situation, Xu Yu was even more determined not to let her off easily.
"You did it on purpose."
Xu Yu suddenly heard Ji Shengsheng speak, followed by her somewhat aggrieved and indignant gaze, which swayed directly into his eyes.
"Intentionally what?"
“You deliberately wanted to see me at a loss.” After saying that, Ji Shengsheng felt that her deduction was a bit arbitrary. “...No, you shouldn’t be that bored.”
"I have."
Seeing Ji Shengsheng's eyes widen, Xu Yu stopped teasing her and got down to business: "What time do we leave for Yunlan?"
Ji Shengsheng's pent-up emotions were dispelled by these words, and she quickly began to ponder the question.
"Seven or eight o'clock is fine..." She had completely forgotten about it.
However, upon closer reflection, it seems that Xu Yu's decision to send her to Yunlan was somewhat without justification.
"If it's inconvenient for you," Ji Shengsheng offered Xu Yu a way out, "I'll just..."
Xu Yu lowered her eyes and looked at Ji Shengsheng's fingers, which were wrapped with the wool of her coat: "You have concerns?"
"No."
She had nothing to worry about.
"Why did you think of asking this?" Xu Yu asked gently.
"I just feel that we're just ordinary friends, and it's not appropriate for you to send me to such a far place." After thinking for a moment, Ji Shengsheng still told the truth.
“Ordinary friends?” Xu Yu looked into Ji Shengsheng’s eyes. “I won’t accompany an ‘ordinary friend’ to another city for three days.”
"...Would you escort a 'regular friend' back to their dorm?" Ji Shengsheng mustered her courage and looked back at Xu Yu.
Xu Yu was stunned: "No."
“Then Shao Yun isn’t your ‘ordinary friend’ either.” Ji Shengsheng’s mouth moved faster than her brain. Only after she finished speaking did she realize from Xu Yu’s expression that she had brought up some past events.
“Shao Yun’s boyfriend is my roommate.” Xu Yu stared at Ji Shengsheng’s face, not missing a single expression and the emotion it represented, and patiently explained.
Hearing Xu Yu's words, Ji Shengsheng hesitated.
She recalled that Shao Yun had stated she was single during a joint learning and development activity, and more than once. Once, after an event, they went to a karaoke bar for a game of truth or dare. When asked about her ideal type, Shao Yun described her based entirely on Xu Yu's description.
Many people were jeering at the time, but Xu Yu didn't show any unusual behavior.
However, despite the differences in the information provided by Shao Yun and Xu Yu, she should still unconditionally choose to believe Xu Yu.
"So, she's just your 'ordinary friend'." Summoning courage from who-knows-where, Ji Shengsheng asked, "...Then what was I back then?"
"Sheng Sheng!" Xing Xing waved to her when he saw her standing in the distance for a long time without moving. "Come back and eat something."
"I'm going to find my friend first..." Ji Shengsheng pulled his coat tighter and turned to leave.
Xu Yu grabbed her wrist.
"You're not going to listen to my answer?"
I don't know how to describe this feeling. My brain was controlled by emotions just now, but after my train of thought was interrupted, reason seems to have returned.
Ji Shengsheng did not want to dwell on or hold grudges about the past.
The reason she cared so much about Xu Yu taking Shao Yun back to her dorm was because she realized that Xu Yu didn't like her that much.
She had already thought it through clearly: if she had tried her best to show all her strengths but still couldn't move the relationship forward, then it should end at an appropriate point.
It wasn't that Xu Yu escorting Shao Yun back to her dorm that led to this decision, but rather that she chose to give up the possibility of developing this relationship from this point onward.
And now... she remembered the box Xu Yu returned to her just two days after she returned to China.
She remembered the scarf she gave to Xu Yu, and how it was a snowy night when she waited for him for a long time downstairs at his dormitory.
I remember all the letters she wrote that went unanswered, and how awful she looked that night when she cried.
"I don't want to listen anymore."
Ji Shengsheng hadn't planned to turn around, but she couldn't help glancing back at Xu Yu's expression.
It was very calm.
"Then I'll be going?" Ji Shengsheng said goodbye softly.
"Okay." Xu Yu calmly let go. "Let's go."
Xu Yu had been gone for so long that Cheng Yu thought he had gone to fight with Ji Shengsheng's boyfriend and was already preparing to go out and look for him.
"Why do you look so pale?" Cheng Yu leaned closer. "Did you see Ji Shengsheng?"
"Um."
"You've reached an agreement?" Cheng Yu said, then immediately spat, "I must have been out of my mind. Judging from your expression, you definitely haven't reached an agreement."
“I’ve noticed. You haven’t been happy since Ji Shengsheng came back.”
“You’ve realized your mistake.” Xu Yu zipped up his zipper to his collar. “I have to go back first.”
Ji Shengsheng hadn't planned to participate in Xu Yu's company's team-building activity, even though she had brought some extra drinks with her. However, Xiao Yang's younger brother was too enthusiastic, and Ji Shengsheng found it difficult to handle, so she made an excuse to visit a colleague and left.
She wasn't worried about feeling awkward after meeting Xu Yu.
No matter what, she will still treat Xu Yu as if nothing happened.
If Xu Yu wanted, she could always return to a normal friendship with him, maintaining a certain distance but still able to communicate about work and everyday topics.
Her greatest strength is her ability to maintain a dignified appearance.
After greeting the others and chatting with the art team for a while, Ji Shengsheng still couldn't find Xu Yu.
"Xu Yu has gone back." Cheng Yu took the drink that Ji Shengsheng brought and cautiously reminded him, seeing Ji Shengsheng looking around.
He didn't know what stage Ji Shengsheng and Xu Yu's relationship had reached, but he knew he still wanted to maintain a good friendship with Ji Shengsheng.
“Okay.” Ji Shengsheng nodded. “I’m not looking for him.”
"Sheng Sheng, can I ask you a question?" Cheng Yu didn't wait for Ji Sheng Sheng's answer, but asked directly, "That day I saw you take a taxi to deliver food to Xu Yu in the middle of the night. You were kinder to him than friends, but it seems like you're not even friends with him. Can you ask why?"
Ji Shengsheng hadn't thought about this matter in detail.
She is capable and wants to be good to Xu Yu, but she just doesn't want to invest her feelings or delve into the details.
"Actually, it's all my fault. I always act as a go-between between you two. I'll try to do less of this in the future and make things difficult for you." Cheng Yu pointed to Xu Yu's backpack on the chair. "He just got back and left in a hurry. He even forgot his backpack. Could you take it to him for me?"
Ji Shengsheng didn't speak.
Cheng Yu said apologetically, "After all, we brought so many people here for team building. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to leave too if he left early."
"Is there anything you urgently need in your backpack?" Ji Shengsheng asked, puzzled.
She could help deliver it to Xu Yu's house, but it didn't seem to be in a hurry.
"Yes," Cheng Yu said helplessly, pointing to the vibrating phone on her backpack. "This phone has rung four times already."
By the time Ji Shengsheng realized something was wrong, she was already in the car Cheng Yu had hailed for her.
Xu Yu didn't bring her phone, so she couldn't ask Xu Yu to come downstairs to get it. Therefore, she had to bring it up herself.
She remembered the address, and every step she took on this road brought back memories of things she wouldn't normally want to recall.
When she arrived at Xu Yu's house, she rang the doorbell, but no one answered after a while. She had to ring it again and put Xu Yu's backpack by the door so that he could see it as soon as he opened the door.
"Come in."
As she was about to leave, Xu Yu opened the door. He seemed somewhat surprised to see her.
"No need. I have other things to do."
"Ji Shengsheng." Xu Yu's voice brooked no refusal. "Before sentencing me to death, could you give me a chance to defend myself?"
How could she possibly have the authority to sentence Xu Yu to death...?
Just as Ji Shengsheng was about to find a reason to refuse, Xu Yu had already walked out the door, rested his chin on her shoulder, and leaned against her shamelessly, almost pulling her down with him.
Fortunately, she managed to lean against the wall in time.
Xu Yu's forehead was cool. Every inch of skin on her shoulders was protesting.
"You..." She would listen to whatever he wanted to say.
"I only took Shao Yun back to her dorm at the request of her roommate. As for not telling you but letting you see it, that was on my own."
"Intentionally what?"
"I deliberately made you mind, made you say you don't like me being with other girls, made you say you care about me, you like me, you only like me."
"But you left without saying a word."
For a moment, Ji Shengsheng felt as if Xu Yu in front of her had become a different person, as if she had never known him before.
"I do not understand……"
Although she never said it aloud, weren't all her actions at that time enough for Xu Yu to think that way?
"Don't understand what? How could you not understand?" Xu Yu looked at the keychain hanging on her bag, the same one Xing Xing had.
Ji Shengsheng: "I really don't understand. I already liked you a lot back then, didn't you realize that?"
"...Even if you went to see Shao Yun off, things were still unclear between you two. Your attitude towards me was ambiguous. I never threw a tantrum at you. I just processed it on my own and adjusted myself before going to see you."
"As for studying abroad, it was a decision made a long time ago. I was just doing my own thing. When I liked you, I tried my best to express my feelings to you, but you didn't respond, so I had no right or status to tell you about it... I don't think I did anything wrong."
She also has a lot of grievances, she just doesn't want to talk about them. Does not wanting to talk about them mean they don't exist?
She never intended to hold anyone accountable. She could understand and accept other people's decisions, so why were so many unfounded accusations leveled against her?
As soon as she finished speaking, the atmosphere indeed plummeted to freezing point.
What awaited her seemed to be an endless silence.
For a moment, Ji Shengsheng felt that he might have expressed too much or too much.
She could have gently told Xu Yu that those were things of the past, to look forward, and not to dwell on them anymore.
They each still have a bright future to look forward to.
However, perhaps something touched a nerve in her, and at this moment, she insisted on speaking out vehemently for herself.
"I……"
She really wanted to leave and go home to calm down.
This might be the last time they see each other.
Ji Shengsheng was pondering how to say goodbye.
"I'm sorry, Sheng Sheng." Xu Yu lowered his head and apologized to her earnestly.
Ji Shengsheng held her breath.
"I have never had any personal relationship with Shao Yun."
"There won't be any more in the future."
"If I had known it would turn out this way, I wouldn't have done it that way."
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