Chapter 945: The one who took action was Emperor Gao
Just then, another flash of light appeared nearby.
Nan Yan slowly turned her head and saw Qin Ruolan holding a candlestick, standing silently in the cold wind.
Her eyes were also looking forward, in the direction where Zhu Feng disappeared.
The remaining candle in the wind flickered a faint light, which was reflected in her bright eyes. At this moment, there was an indescribable sadness, as if it would be extinguished in the wind in the next moment.
After a long while, she slowly turned her head and looked at Nan Yan.
The two people's eyes met and they both fell silent.
After an unknown amount of time, the two people, whose bodies were already frozen by the cold wind, walked into Nan Yan's room.
Qin Ruolan walked in by herself.
And Nan Yan did not refuse at all. There seemed to be a tacit understanding between the two of them. When she came in, Nan Yan closed the door and lit the candle on the table.
The light from the two candlesticks made the room a little brighter.
But still, it couldn't illuminate the gloom in Qin Ruolan's eyes.
She sat at the table, looking at the flaming flames, her mind seemed to be lost in confusion.
Until Nan Yan walked to the table and sat down.
She raised her head and looked at Nan Yan, saying, "He came to see you?"
"Um."
“…”
Qin Ruolan was silent for a moment, as if unwilling to believe it, or unwilling to accept it, and asked again: "Why did he come to you?"
“…”
Nan Yan looked at her for a while and said calmly, "I don't know what he's going to do, nor do I know what his purpose is."
“…”
"All I know is that he was sent to the cold palace and broke into my room."
Of course, it almost cost her her life.
It was not until this time that Nan Yan began to understand that what Ye Zheng had said to her that year, “It’s good to kill people in dreams,” was not entirely a joke.
She could feel that she was almost suffocating at that moment.
Even now, all the bones in her body seemed to have fallen apart and then been put back together again, and she was in great pain in many places.
At that moment, she probably had one foot in hell.
Zhu Feng really almost killed her.
But why?
Why did he suddenly and inexplicably enter the cold palace, find himself inexplicably, and even want to kill himself?
Does he know what he is doing?
What does He Yi mean by the “gate of life and death”?
Thinking of this, she raised her head and looked at Qin Ruolan, whose face was pale under the candlelight, and said, "You once told me that he was different back then."
“…”
"So what was he like back then?"
“…”
Qin Ruolan looked quietly at the candlestick on the table. The flickering flames shone into her pupils, but there was a deep darkness inside, as if no light could penetrate.
After an unknown amount of time, she said softly in a hoarse voice, "Back then, he was a very insecure person."
"What?"
Nan Yan couldn't believe her first words.
How could it be possible for someone who has no sense of security?
People like Zhu Feng are brave and resolute, and will move forward courageously in the face of any difficulties. He is the backbone of everyone and the person who gives everyone a sense of security.
Why doesn't he feel safe?
"You don't believe it, do you?"
Qin Ruolan turned to look at her and said calmly, "But this is the truth. He is an insecure person, like a lone boat drifting in the vast ocean. The boat hopes to find any place to dock, but is also afraid that the place will cause another wave and drag itself into the torrent."
“…”
"That's just the way he is."
“…”
"He doesn't dare to trust anyone, but deep down, he hopes there's someone he can trust and rely on."
Nan Yan frowned: "How could this happen?"
Qin Ruolan said word by word: "Because he is a person without a past."
"What?"
Nan Yan suddenly opened her eyes wide: "No past, you mean -"
"He has no memory before the age of ten."
“…”
"He couldn't remember his childhood, didn't know what happened, but the man I met was a man without a past."
Nan Yan gasped.
Zhu Feng doesn’t remember anything before he was ten years old?
So, there was a blank in his memory.
However, a person's "origin", his positioning of himself, or in other words, the shaping of his character, were originally self-affirmed and self-defined during that period, but the memory of that period was blank for him.
“…”
Nan Yan felt that the whistling wind outside suddenly broke into the room and into her mind, disrupting all her previous thoughts.
She never knew that Zhu Feng, the man in front of her who was as tall as a mountain, who made her feel safe and reliable, had actually lost his memory.
He doesn't remember his childhood.
So, what was it like for him to live in the palace of Emperor Gao?
So he—
"So he," Qin Ruolan said here, and paused: "He is very lonely."
“…”
"It took him a long time to learn how to get along with others."
“…”
"But the palace—I think you also understand that, no matter what time it is, the palace is not a place where people can open up to each other and express their true feelings."
“…”
"He suffered a lot of injuries... and then he met me."
Nan Yan's throat felt choked.
Of course she knew what happened after she met Qin Ruolan.
The deepest scars in Zhu Feng's heart throughout his life were caused by her.
Thinking of this, she felt even more heartbroken.
She thought of what Zhu Feng once said, that it would have been nice if he had met her at that time, but she just laughed it off and said that she was still young at that time, and then she let the topic go.
Now, she truly understood what he meant by that sentence.
If I had appeared at that time, would he not have suffered those injuries and endured those pains? Wouldn't he have developed that bloodthirsty and murderous character later on?
Nan Yan's breathing became short.
She reached out and grabbed the front of her shirt tightly.
After a long time, she raised her head and looked at the pale-faced Qin Ruolan. Her eyes were full of guilt, which seemed to be overflowing from her eye sockets.
But now, Nan Yan had no mind to care about her "guilt".
She asked, "Then why did he lose that memory?"
“No one knows the specific reason.”
“…”
"The Emperor Gao also didn't let anyone know."
“…”
"But, I heard that it was Emperor Gao who did it."
"What?"
Nan Yan was shocked again and looked at her in astonishment.
Qin Ruolan also looked at her and said solemnly: "I heard that it was the order of Emperor Gao that made him lose his previous memories."
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