Chapter 1567 I Have No Regrets
"Do you know what I'm going to do?"
Ran Xiaoyu looked at her lowered eyes and said softly: "Aunt said that the test is something that the result is known from the beginning. In fact, the queen knows it."
“…”
"The Queen just wants to go through this test, knowing the outcome from the beginning, to make herself a little more ruthless."
“…”
Nan Yan's breathing paused.
Ran Xiaoyu said softly: "My Lady, you still can't bear to do it, right?"
“…”
Nan Yan still didn't speak.
After a long while, she raised her head and looked at Ran Xiaoyu, and a bitter smile seemed to flash across her face.
"I seem to be a little useless."
“…”
"That person said that women are just like that, clinging to tenderness and unwilling to give up the wealth and glory in front of them. When that person said that, I was angry, but it turns out that I am really like that."
“…”
"If he had been nicer to me, I would have stopped feeling pain."
“…”
"If he had been gentler to me, I would have almost forgotten the torment he had put me through."
“…”
"Xiaoyu, tell me, am I too useless?"
“…”
Looking at her gradually red eyes, Ran Xiaoyu felt like a needle was pricking her heart. She slowly walked to Nan Yan's side, squatted down, stretched out her hands and gently covered her slightly trembling hands on her knees.
"My lady, it's not true."
“…”
"You are not what you say you are. You are not greedy for tenderness, nor are you unwilling to give up the glory and wealth in front of you. You are just—"
Nan Yan looked at her in confusion.
Ran Xiaoyu said softly: "You just have too deep feelings for the emperor."
“…”
"You've been through so much together, with all those memories, how could you just say no?"
“…”
"not to mention--"
Having said this, she hesitated for a moment, as if she felt she shouldn't continue. However, seeing Nan Yan's painful expression, she gritted her teeth and continued, "Besides, the Emperor is now reforming, and he truly treats the Empress well."
"Are you good to me?"
Nan Yan smiled bitterly.
She raised her head and looked at the almost endless ice surface in front of her, as if it was what she had been facing all these years.
I thought I had finally reached shore and that spring had finally arrived.
But after a while I realized that even greater hardships were waiting for me.
She said slowly, "Ever since I fell in love with him, ever since he ascended the throne as emperor, I knew that some things can't be forced."
"But I still love him."
"So, when he treated me like that, when he single-handedly rushed into the Kingdom of Yue to rescue me; when he insisted on appointing me as his imperial concubine despite all the opposition; when he... I thought, no matter how much hardship there is in life, as long as he is wholeheartedly devoted to me, that is enough."
"However, as soon as Qin Ruolan appeared, I knew that wholehearted devotion was something that could not be obtained."
"So, I can only hope to live a peaceful life."
"However, Feng Shu's appearance made me realize that stability is something that cannot be sought."
"All I can ask is that I have no regrets."
"But, Feng Qianyan, when Feng Qianyan appeared, after I went through this period of time—" At this point, Nan Yan's voice choked up. She trembled and said slowly: "Xiaoyu, I don't even know now whether I regret it or not."
"Your Majesty..."
"Have I ever regretted making this choice?"
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