Chapter 1870 I, I will always watch you
But Li Bu Shang stretched out his hand and supported himself on the bed behind her, forcing her to face him, and said in a suppressed voice: "Are you so affectionate towards him?"
“…”
If it were in the past, Nan Yan might have thought that Li Bushan was asking about "things".
But after that time, that nightmarish night, she had completely understood Li Bushan's feelings for her.
He was asking about himself.
It's my own feelings.
Perhaps he had accepted his fate and the fact that he would marry Zhu Feng and become the imperial concubine of Yan State, but he could never calmly accept his feelings for Zhu Feng, especially after experiencing those tortures and hardships.
Originally, he wanted to rescue me because I was suffering.
Thinking of this, Nan Yan took a deep breath.
She raised her head, facing the pair of wolf-like eyes so close to her, and said as calmly as possible, "Li Bushang, I know exactly what I should do."
“…”
"I know when to love, when to hate, when to break up, when to forgive. I am very clear-headed."
“…”
"Everything I do is emotional, but it's also the result of careful consideration."
After hearing his words, Li Bushang’s face turned pale.
If his questions just now were like heavy punches that hit Nan Yan hard, then at this moment, every answer from Nan Yan was also like a heavy punch that hit him back one by one.
His breathing became strained.
Nan Yan said, "If you were the one asking those questions, then what I just said is the answer."
“…”
"if,"
At this point, Nan Yan's eyes flickered slightly: "Those questions, you are asking on behalf of that person, so I can also answer you——"
“…”
"What I want to do is up to me."
“…”
"No one can order me around, no one can use me!"
Li Bushang was so captivated by her firm voice and the almost sharp look in her eyes that he was speechless for a moment.
Just staring at her blankly.
One of his hands was still supporting Nan Yan's head. At this time, his fingers were trembling slightly and his joints were tense and white.
He wanted to move, but he tried his best to suppress himself and not move.
His hands unconsciously wanted to touch her, to caress her, or even to be touched by just a little bit of her scent.
These days, countless invisible barriers stood between them. He could only peek at her from afar, for fear of startling her. That night, she cried under him, and he never wanted to see that frightened and terrified look again.
Sometimes, he regretted it.
I regret that I shouldn't have been so impulsive and wanted to possess her at all costs.
Even now, when the two of them face each other like this, he can no longer see her gentleness and smile. Even if it is just an illusion to him, he is willing to drink poison to quench his thirst.
Now, there is nothing.
Li Bushang let out a deep breath, almost breaking his fingers before he suppressed the urge to touch her and withdrew his hand.
He said, "I, I understand."
At this time, Ran Xiaoyu's voice came from outside the door: "Are you done? If you are done, leave quickly. It's dawn now. What if someone comes and sees us?"
Li Bushang's breath sank again.
He looked at Nan Yan, but saw that Nan Yan just lowered her head and did not meet his gaze, as if she no longer wanted to see him. She said, "I have already given you the answer you want."
“…”
"But if you want something else, I don't have it here!"
“…”
"You, go."
Li Bushang clenched his fists.
At this moment, he wanted to gather all the strength in his body into his fist and punch the impulsive self who was willing to do anything to get her to death.
He said solemnly, "I understand."
After saying that, he stood up, turned around and walked out.
Nan Yan looked up at him.
Every time they separated, they found it hard to recognize this child when they met again. Over the years, he had been completely transformed. He was no longer the dark and thin little boy who would rather be beaten than steal a steamed bun to save his mother from starvation.
Before I knew it, I had walked so far.
She knew that it was impossible for this child to go back to the past.
The heartache of having no way back was real, tormenting her and both of them.
Li Bushang walked to the door and suddenly stopped.
He did not look back, but just lowered his head, and his back was even slightly hunched, making his tall figure look a little tired at this moment.
He said solemnly: "You can rest assured."
“…”
"I don't want to hurt you, and I won't hurt you again."
“…”
"Just now, if those bandits hadn't shown up without knowing how to live or die, I wouldn't have come here. If you hadn't almost fallen, I wouldn't have shown up either."
Nan Yan's heart ached again.
She said: "It doesn't hurt..."
Li Bu Shang had already propped up the door with one hand and said, "I just hope you are well. Just watching you is well. I, that's enough for me."
“…”
"I, I will always watch over you."
After saying that, he opened the door and walked out without looking back.
The wind blew in, carrying the chill in his heart.
Nan Yan only felt that she could not relieve the bitterness in her heart, which even made her eyes red. She could only lower her head and cover her face with her hands. Soon, a sound of footsteps approached.
It’s Ran Xiaoyu.
She rushed in impatiently, walked to the bedside and asked, "My Lady, he—he didn't do anything, did he?"
Nan Yan lowered her head and just shook her head.
At this moment, she felt a chill all over her body. She didn't know whether the chill was brought by the cold wind blowing in from the open door or from her own heart.
It is intertwined with the bitterness in my heart, making it difficult to describe.
Ran Xiaoyu reached out and stroked her shoulder, suddenly remembering something. She turned around and saw Xue Ling still standing at the door, looking at them in shock and disbelief.
Ran Xiaoyu's heart sank.
Just now, she was only concerned about preventing Li Bushang from doing anything presumptuous, but she didn't realize that Xue Ling was still there.
She witnessed the whole process.
Thinking of this, Ran Xiaoyu no longer cared about Nan Yan. She immediately stood up, walked directly in front of her, and said solemnly: "What did you just see?"
"I--"
Xue Ling was still immersed in the shock she had just experienced. When Ran Xiaoyu suddenly asked her this, she was completely unable to react and even stuttered.
Without waiting for her reaction.
Ran Xiaoyu's face turned pale and she said, "I tell you, you didn't see anything."
“…”
"No one else saw this."
“…”
"If anyone else knew what happened today, I wouldn't forgive you!"
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