Chapter 1765: Less, like him
She hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Where is the emperor?"
Everyone who came to see him off shut up, looking at each other, and no one spoke.
Ying Shao coughed twice and said awkwardly, "In reply to the Imperial Concubine, the Emperor is busy with the matter of the Hot Moon Crescent. Last night he was in his study making plans for the battle. I'm afraid now—I'm afraid he can't come to see you off."
"oh……"
Nan Yan listened and frowned.
She didn't expect that her little sympathy for Chu Xin would arouse Zhu Feng's dissatisfaction. On the 27th day, he was really angry with her because of this.
But if you get to the bottom of it, it wasn't your fault after all.
Thinking of this, she was too lazy to ask any more questions and just said, "Since that's the case, Lord Ying, please go and say goodbye to the Emperor on my behalf."
After saying that, she turned and walked to the carriage, and Ran Xiaoyu and the others immediately helped her into the carriage.
The curtain was lowered, and at a command, the convoy left the Duwei Mansion, crushing the ice and frost on the long street and speeding away.
Ying Shao stood at the door, looking at their backs, and couldn't help but sigh.
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Nan Yan sat in the carriage and swayed with it for a while. Originally, this level of bumps was nothing, but her chest felt tight and she felt a little uncomfortable after shaking for a while.
He then grabbed a soft pillow and placed it under his arm. Ran Xiaoyu sat beside him and whispered, "Madam, are you feeling uncomfortable in your stomach?"
"No."
"Still feeling uncomfortable somewhere?"
"I'm fine."
Hearing her indifferent tone, Ran Xiaoyu looked at her for a while and said softly: "My queen, what happened between you and the emperor?"
“…”
"He left late last night and didn't come to see the queen off today?"
“…”
"Did you guys really have a fight?"
When she woke up earlier, she asked if it was just a "bicker", but seeing the current situation, it was definitely not as simple as "bickering".
Nan Yan was silent for a while before she said, "Xiao Yu, I have something to ask you, and you must answer me honestly."
"Ask, my lady."
"My last child was miscarried. Tell me, who was to blame?"
"ah?"
Ran Xiaoyu didn't expect her to suddenly ask this, and was stunned.
Nan Yan looked at her and said, "Who do you think is to blame for me losing that child? Is it the emperor or me?"
"this--"
"Answer me honestly, am I wrong?"
“…”
Ran Xiaoyu's character was originally just like her fists, straightforward. There were no twists and turns when it came to the right or wrong of a matter. Right was right, and wrong was wrong.
But since these days, when she followed the imperial concubine's instructions and looked at the people and things around her with a calmer and more complex perspective, she had completely different conclusions about many things than in the past.
Faced with the imperial concubine's question, she hesitated.
Seeing her hesitation, Nan Yan said, "You think that I am wrong, right?"
“…”
"Just tell me what you have to say. I won't blame you."
Ran Xiaoyu bit her lower lip and hesitated for a long time before she said softly, "For this matter, both the Emperor and the Empress should be punished with fifty lashes each."
“…”
"Your Majesty has important matters to attend to, but even with such important matters, he shouldn't completely ignore the Empress, especially since she was pregnant at the time. Any accident could have taken the child away."
“…”
"And the Queen—"
"How am I?"
"Your Highness, for the sake of friendship, always risks your own life, even disregarding yourself. How can you care for your children?"
“…”
"The child is in the Queen's belly. He can only rely on the Queen to survive. If the Queen doesn't protect him, who can?"
After hearing her words, Nan Yan's breathing gradually became heavy.
His expression also became more solemn.
She murmured, "Sure enough, it's my fault."
“…”
"It's really my fault. I failed to protect my child."
“…”
"It's all my fault."
Seeing her lost look, Ran Xiaoyu hurriedly said: "Your Majesty, don't blame yourself too much. It's not that you don't want to protect the child, but there are too many cruel and ruthless people in this world."
“…”
"As the saying goes, there's a thief who can steal for a thousand years, but there's no such thing as a thousand-year defense against thieves." Who can see through the minds of those around them at a glance? Who can tell at a glance whether something is good or bad?
Hearing her words, Nan Yan smiled bitterly.
Said: "You know how to comfort me."
As she spoke, her eyes still unconsciously turned red and felt a little hot. She turned around and leaned against the window, lifted a corner of the curtain, and looked at the snowy wasteland outside.
Looks confused.
Seeing her like this, Ran Xiaoyu whispered again: "Your Majesty, there is one more thing that is not good."
"Um?"
Not knowing why she suddenly started talking again, Nan Yan turned to look at her: "What?"
Ran Xiaoyu said: "Your Majesty takes the Emperor too seriously."
“…”
"The emperor's words have made the queen restless and unable to sleep or eat."
“…”
"Sometimes, the Empress only has the Emperor in her eyes, so she often forgets herself and even forgets her own safety."
“…”
"For example, this time, even though you were pregnant, you still—"
“…”
Hearing her say this, Nan Yan hesitated for a moment.
Finally, he smiled bitterly.
She said, "Yes."
“…”
"Sometimes I clearly felt that he was hateful, and I even really hated him."
“…”
"But, you know, it turns out that when you fall in love with someone, you really will. As long as he is still the same person you like, or as long as he becomes better, then no matter what, you will still like him."
Ran Xiaoyu couldn't help but sigh: "My queen, have you fallen into the hands of the emperor?"
Nan Yan smiled faintly.
"But you are right."
“…”
"I should also try to like him less."
“…”
"Otherwise, I don't know what to do in the future."
Seeing her conflicted and hesitant look, Ran Xiaoyu frowned. She moved closer to Nan Yan and whispered, "Your Majesty, you once told me that the relationship between you and the Emperor..."
Having said this, she focused on the most important words.
Nan Yan's eyes immediately flickered.
At this moment, the sound of horse hooves and the shaking of the carriage continued. People outside must not be able to hear their conversation, but this matter was too confidential and even life-threatening, so Ran Xiaoyu did not dare to say it out.
Even so, Nan Yan's breathing was choked.
She turned to look at Ran Xiaoyu, only to see Ran Xiaoyu whispering, "Then what exactly does the Empress have in mind for the Emperor?"
“…”
Nan Yan looked at her silently. After a long while, without saying a word, he turned his head and looked at the vast wasteland outside the window.
Her gaze was just like the scenery outside.
Desolate and silent.
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