Chapter 1442: Punish yourself, is that not okay?
"Can't sleep? Why?"
As Zhu Feng spoke, he subconsciously reached out and touched it, and was immediately shocked.
Nan Yan's bed was wet and cold, just like an ice cave. She had slept for such a long time but hadn't felt any warmth at all. Her clothes were also wet and cold!
Zhu Feng suddenly sat up.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I--"
Nan Yan also slowly propped herself up and sat up. The quilt on her body slipped down, and her thin clothes stuck to her body, making her look even smaller and thinner.
Zhu Feng grabbed her arm and touched her forehead.
It's also damp and cold.
This is night sweats!
Zhu Feng's brows knitted together: "How could this happen?"
"No, nothing."
Nan Yan subconsciously wanted to struggle and break free from his hands, but who was Zhu Feng? His hands were like iron clamps, and there was no way she could break free with her thin arms and legs. What's more, she was sitting on the inner part of the bed and had no way to retreat.
Zhu Feng touched her twice and immediately understood.
"Have you always been like this?"
“…”
"Can't sleep at night?"
“…”
Nan Yan didn't answer, but her evasive gaze indicated her agreement.
Zhu Feng let out a deep breath.
No wonder, even after she moved out of the cold palace and returned to her own bedroom, her health did not improve much these days. Instead, she remained pale and thin, and looked tired every day.
How can I be healthy if I have night sweats all night and can’t sleep?
When Nan Yan saw that he had discovered her, she sighed softly.
This situation has been going on for a long time.
Miscarriage is already extremely harmful to a woman's body. On the way back to Beijing, she rolled around in the mud for a long time, and the cold had penetrated into her bones, making it difficult to cure. In addition, later on, she had to replace the aconite soup with the anti-abortion medicine. Although she didn't develop any symptoms, the medicine was not suitable for her, and her condition was prolonged.
Later, Wang Baizhi and others came to treat the patient, and Aunt Tongyun also took care of him, but the situation did not improve much.
Only you know about the night sweats. If you don't tell me, it will be difficult for the imperial physician to diagnose it.
Zhu Feng grabbed her wrist and dragged her into his arms. He looked down at her flickering eyes and asked, "Why don't you say it?"
“…”
Nan Yan was silent for a long time before she said solemnly, "Why do you want to say it?"
Hearing her say this, Zhu Feng's breathing became even heavier.
In the darkness, they could vaguely feel a surge of anger that was almost taking shape, surrounding the two of them.
Nan Yan even felt that the hand he was holding on her wrist was unconsciously exerting force, almost breaking her slender wrist.
Zhu Feng gritted his teeth and said, "Then what are you going to do?"
“…”
"Are you pretending to be sick so that I can see?"
“…”
"Let me see how weak you are. Do you want to make me feel bad or make me feel guilty?"
Hearing this, Nan Yan's breath was caught.
She raised her head. Although the lights in the room were out and it was pitch black, her eyes were exceptionally bright. She looked at Zhu Feng with a hint of stubbornness in her sadness. She gritted her teeth and said, "Your Majesty, you're overthinking it."
“…”
"I don't want to make you feel guilty, and it's impossible for me to make you feel guilty."
“…”
"My illness cannot punish anyone."
“…”
"I'm just punishing myself!"
“……!”
Hearing her say this, Zhu Feng's heart sank again.
"What did you say?"
Punish yourself?
His brows knitted together again. In the pitch-black night, his eyes flashing towards Nan Yan seemed like a streak of light. Suddenly, his ears rang with the words she had said to him in tears that night, the night she had miscarried.
"I know the emperor blames me, he hates me, because you are so eager to have this child, and I am also eager to have him, but I - I failed to protect him, I put him in danger, it's my fault."
"But Your Majesty, can you please forgive me?"
"Because I am in pain, and I am sad too."
…
Zhu Feng's voice suddenly fell silent.
His throat choked several times, making it almost impossible for him to breathe. He felt the small body in his arms, which was already thin and cold, and now seemed even colder than before.
He reached out and held her in his arms.
Thinner than before.
Zhu Feng said in a hoarse voice in her ear: "You——"
“…”
"Are you punishing yourself?"
In the darkness, a very low voice sounded softly.
It seemed as if she was responding to him, or as if it was unconscious, just a very light sob, but Zhu Feng felt that the stiff and cold body in his arms was slowly trembling and leaning against his chest.
She reached out and wiped her face, tears streaming down her face.
Zhu Feng's heart ached.
He hugged her tightly.
But I couldn't speak.
For so long, he was only concerned with his own anger, but completely ignored the fact that the child was the one she had truly been looking forward to, who had grown in her belly for so long, but was forcibly taken away from her body.
I only heard about all the bloody experiences.
But she is the one who has truly suffered.
How could I put all the blame on her and blame her when she was already covered in wounds?
He hugged Nan Yan tightly.
A thin, almost inaudible cry was heard in the dark Yiku Palace. Zhu Feng hugged the frail body tightly in his arms, letting her cry and letting her hot tears flow freely, wetting his chest.
That feeling was so heartbreaking.
After an unknown amount of time, Nan Yan finally stopped crying.
She gently broke free from Zhu Feng's embrace, lowered her head, and said softly in a hoarse voice, "I've lost my composure."
Although at this time, she acted distant again.
But Zhu Feng knew that some things were still different.
He reached out, gently held her shoulders, and said softly, "Don't think too much. You need to rest well and take care of your body. No matter what - take care of your body first."
"……yes."
As he said this, he was about to lie down.
But Zhu Feng picked her up. Nan Yan was startled, and before she could react, he put her on the outside of the bed and covered her with his quilt.
And Zhu Feng crawled into her bed.
"emperor?"
"It's okay, go to sleep."
Zhu Feng reached out and tucked the quilt in for her again.
His bed was already warm, and as soon as he got in, he felt comfortable all over.
However, Nan Yan's bed was ice-cold. On a night like this, it really felt like an ice cave. Even though Zhu Feng's body temperature was higher than that of an ordinary person, he was still shivering at this time.
I felt that he was having trouble sleeping.
Nan Yan was silent for a long time, and finally she gently lifted the quilt and said to him, "Your Majesty, come here."
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