Chapter 3329 Concubine is too far behind
After Heyi left the tent, Xiao Shunzi came in with some food.
However, the environment was simple, with only some millet porridge and simple pickled vegetables. Zhu Feng was not a picky eater, but this time he really had no appetite and just stared blankly at the dishes in front of him.
Nan Yan watched from the side and felt a pain in her heart.
Although she couldn't experience it personally, she knew too well what Zhu Feng was feeling at this moment.
The memory he had hidden was buried too deeply. Over the years, they had been chasing clues bit by bit, like smoke that was about to dissipate in the wind. They had finally come to this day, but they had not expected to uncover such a result.
Nan Yan suddenly felt that perhaps Emperor Gao was right.
Some memories were erased because they were too painful, and they were afraid that the person bearing the memories would suffer too much. But she had to accompany Zhu Feng to look for them. If they were found, wouldn't the painful memories that broke his heart back then hurt him again?
Thinking of this, Nan Yan said in a hoarse voice: "It's all my fault."
“…”
Zhu Feng was originally silent, but when he heard her suddenly say this, he slowly turned his head and looked at her: "What are you talking about?"
Nan Yan looked up at him and said softly, "It's all my fault."
“…”
"When I first kept vigil for the Emperor, I saw him in so much pain in his sleep. I wondered why he was so sad. Later I learned that he had lost a part of his memory.
“…”
"Later, the emperor wanted to recover this memory, and I accompanied him."
“…”
"But actually, if I think about it more, I'll understand. Even if this memory has been lost, it still causes Your Majesty so much pain in his sleep. So, wouldn't it be even more painful to recall it? Moreover, so many years have passed, and the regrets in the memory are irreparable. I accompanied Your Majesty in searching for this memory, originally just thinking about pleasing Your Majesty and going along with His Majesty's wishes. I never thought deeply about Your Majesty."
Zhu Feng frowned: "You——"
Nan Yan continued, "Come to think of it, Empress Renxiao has been with the Emperor for so many years, but she has never indulged him. It seems that she is not liked by the Emperor, but in fact - compared to Empress Renxiao, I am indeed far inferior."
After hearing her words, Zhu Feng, who was originally immersed in suffocating pain and almost unable to recover, could not help but smile bitterly.
He reached out and pinched Nan Yan's face.
"What are you rambling about again?"
Nan Yan looked up at him: "Isn't it?"
“…”
Zhu Feng was silent for a moment, then finally sighed and gently pulled her into his arms. Normally, when he held her, Nan Yan could always feel his embrace warm and solid, giving her a feeling of complete reliance. But this time—perhaps because he had lost a lot of weight recently—when she entered his embrace, she felt as if a large part of him was empty.
Zhu Feng sighed softly above her head, then said, "Don't be silly."
“…”
"These things have nothing to do with you."
“…”
"Besides, the two most important things in life are where you come from and where you're going. Knowing where you come from helps you better understand where you're going. If you don't seek out your origins because you're afraid of getting hurt, how can you move forward?"
As he said this, he smiled bitterly and looked down at Nan Yan: "Then what am I?"
Nan Yan felt very sad and hugged him, burying her face in his chest.
She whimpered twice, sobbed for a long time, then sniffed her red nose and said softly, "No matter what, the emperor should at least eat something."
Hearing that she was still trying to persuade him even after this, Zhu Feng gave a helpless smile, let her go, then picked up the small bowl and took two sips of the porridge, which tasted like chewing wax. Nan Yan knew that people would definitely not have much appetite at this time, so she just accompanied him to eat some, and put some side dishes into his bowl while he was eating. Under her persuasion, Zhu Feng at least drank half a bowl of porridge.
After finishing his meal, he washed his hands and looked up and asked, "What time is it now?"
Nan Yan said, "It's four o'clock."
Zhu Feng thought for a moment and said, "I want to rest for a while. You—you should go and rest too. You've taken care of me for two days. You must be tired. Don't keep going any longer."
Nan Yan originally planned to stay here with him, but from what he said, it seemed that he didn't want anyone to accompany him. Nan Yan also understood that a grown man like him also needed some space and time alone to lick his wounds. No matter how close she was to him, sometimes he also needed a man's dignity.
Then she said softly, "I understand, but the Emperor won't let you stay up late. Go to bed early. I've already given orders that a carriage from the Handong Guard will arrive tomorrow. Let's go back first. Some stragglers have escaped from Baihu City, and they haven't been completely wiped out yet. If they stay here, I'm worried they'll harm the Emperor."
Hearing her say this, Zhu Feng's expression softened a little.
He said with some admiration: "My concubine is becoming more and more like a lady of noble character."
Nan Yan smiled, tucked the quilt in for him, then bowed and turned to leave the tent.
Outside, it was already pitch black.
The rain finally stopped, but the northwest temperature turned cold very quickly in autumn, especially at night, when there was a hint of chill. Nan Yan stood at the door of the tent and couldn't help shivering, so she hugged her arms.
Ruoshui immediately took out a wind cloak and put it on her, saying softly, "My queen, they have prepared a tent for you over there. Why don't you go over there and rest first?"
Nan Yan shook her head: "I don't want to sleep yet, you go down first, I'll just walk around here."
Ruoshui looked at her red eyes and didn't understand why she hadn't slept for two or three days and didn't want to rest at this time. But it was not easy to refuse her, so she could only agree to step back and follow her from a distance.
Nan Yan reached out to gather her wind cloak and paced around the simple camp.
After a while, I saw a figure walking slowly in the night not far ahead, who also looked a little bored.
When I walked over, I saw it was none other than myself.
It was He Yi.
He seemed to be thinking about something, and was silent for a long time, looking at the deep night sky. Finally, he sighed deeply. As soon as he turned around, he saw Nan Yan standing behind him, looking at him. He hurriedly stepped forward and saluted: "Your Majesty."
Nan Yan looked at him and said, "Master He Yi, why don't you go to bed?"
He Yi said, "Your humble servant...can't sleep."
Nan Yan said, "What a coincidence! I also have some things in my mind that I don't understand, so I can't sleep. And since you can't sleep either, why don't you come and explain them to me?"
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