126. How Tragic Can a Breakup Be?
"How could you say that to me?" Ling Ling looked at him with tears in her eyes, looking at him in disbelief. "What should I say to you?" Yu Chuanbei was still relentless. "If I hadn't caught you guys checking into a hotel today, would you have told me about this? Oh, yes, you haven't told me about your affairs for a long time. We have almost zero communication recently. No wonder you save your energy for your boss! Did you refuse to live with me so that you could meet him privately more conveniently?" "Yu Chuanbei, you can believe my explanation or not, but you have no right to insult me!" His words became more and more unpleasant, and Ling Ling could no longer bear it. "I have no right to insult you. What about you? You've been doing it time and time again. First, you sought emotional support from that Zhong Mingtong, and then you sought physical comfort from this Fang Tuowu. No wonder you've become increasingly cold towards me. Stop trying to fool me with your frivolous job and ideals. You get a kick out of being around all those men, don't you?" Yu Chuanbei gripped Ling Ling's wrist fiercely. She painfully tried to shake him off, but he dragged her into the bedroom. "Yu Chuanbei, let me go! What are you trying to do? Are you crazy?" She struggled desperately, but he had already pushed her onto the bed and began to roughly tear at her clothes. She was initially just angry, but then she realized more and more that something was wrong. He began to pull down her pants and spread her legs. "I don't want it, Yu Chuanbei, let me go. I said I don't want it. You can't touch me. You're committing a crime!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face, bitter and unbearable. But he had completely lost his mind, gnawing and tormenting her like a mad beast. She went from resisting to screaming, to begging for mercy, to numbness. Her strength was ultimately no match for his. She felt only pain in every bone and every inch of her skin. She had never resented physical contact with him, but now his actions made her want to retch. He vented his pain on her endlessly, as if this ordeal were a long, slow torture with no end in sight. Her empty eyes cast towards the clock by her bedside. Her body stiffened under his thrusts, and she stared at the hands, one second, two seconds, five seconds... She had no idea how long she had been counting. Every sixty seconds, she had to start over again. Her pale mind could no longer absorb the extra information. Finally, it was all over. He slid off her and to the edge of the bed. She gathered her tattered clothes, turned her back to him, and curled up on her side. She felt herself trembling, shaking violently. She slowly stood up, took out a new set of clothes from the closet, and walked...
"How can you say that to me?" Ling Ling looked at him in disbelief with tears in her eyes.
"What should I say to you?" Yu Chuanbei persisted. "If I hadn't caught you guys checking into a hotel today, would you have told me about this? Oh, yeah, you haven't told me about your affairs in a long time. We've had almost no communication lately. No wonder you're saving your energy for your boss! Are you refusing to live with me so you can meet him privately more easily?"
"Yu Chuanbei, you can believe my explanation or not, but you have no right to insult me!" His words became more and more unpleasant, and Ling Ling could no longer bear it.
"I have no right to insult you, but what about you? Time and time again, first you sought spiritual solace from that Zhong Mingtong, and then you sought physical comfort from this Fang Tuowu. No wonder you are becoming more and more cold towards me. Stop fooling me with those crappy jobs and ideals. You feel particularly happy being around those men, right?" Yu Chuanbei grabbed Ling Ling's wrist tightly. She tried to shake him off in pain, but he dragged her into the bedroom.
"Yu Chuanbei, let me go! What are you doing? Are you crazy?" She struggled desperately, but he had already pushed her onto the bed and began to roughly tear off her clothes. She was initially just angry, but then she became increasingly aware that something was wrong. He began to pull down her pants and spread her legs. "I don't want it, Yu Chuanbei, let me go. I said I don't want it. You can't touch me. This is a crime!" She screamed, tears streaming down her face, bitter and unbearable.
But he had completely lost his mind, gnawing and torturing her like a mad beast. She went from resisting to roaring, then begging for mercy, and finally numbness. Her strength was ultimately no match for his. She felt only pain in every bone and every inch of her skin. She had never resented physical contact with him, but his behavior at this moment made her want to retch.
He vented his anger on her endlessly, as if this suffering were a long, slow torture with no end in sight. Her empty eyes cast towards the clock beside her bed, her body stiffening and shaking from his impact. She stared at the hands, one second, two seconds, five seconds... She didn't know how long she had been counting like this. Every time she reached sixty seconds, she had to start over again. Her pale and powerless mind could not accommodate too much information.
Finally, finally it's all over.
He slid off her to the edge of the bed. She gathered her tattered clothes, turned her back to him, and curled up on her side. She felt herself trembling very violently.
She slowly stood up, pulled a fresh set of clothes from the closet, and headed for the bathroom. She couldn't help but recall something she'd read online: girls who had been assaulted should protect the evidence and report it to the police. But what should she do now? Call the police? Report it to Yu Chuanbei? The man she'd loved so deeply just an hour earlier? This man had stood by her when she'd been sexually assaulted by Lin Kun, silently fighting for her behind the scenes, giving her the courage to take her case to court. But now, he was treating her like this. What should she do?
She stood in front of the mirror, staring at her disheveled self: disheveled hair, sunken eyes, tear-stained makeup, torn collar. She no longer had the energy to argue about anything. Even if a misunderstanding had caused his uncontrolled rage to lead to violence, she wouldn't forgive him. But this man was her choice, and even though they'd been on and off before, he was the man she'd imagined countless times wanting to be with forever. So—it happened, and it's over. So let it be.
She stripped off her tattered clothes and put on new, intact ones, one by one. She tossed her old clothes into the trash, washed herself, and left the bathroom. She once again packed up her belongings from the house, leaving behind everything she had left since reuniting with him. But this time, she wanted to be thorough, because she knew there was no going back.
Yu Chuanbei regained his composure, fastened his clothes, and sat at the end of the bed. He watched her trying her best to suppress her sadness as she silently packed her things, only her trembling hands betraying her emotions.
"Ling, I'm sorry... please don't go, okay?" Yu Chuanbei stood dejectedly at the bedroom door, his voice hoarse.
Ling Ling was packing up her chargers, laptop, and other small items scattered around the living room. She only saw him out of the corner of her eye. She stopped, her gray eyes filled with despair. "Let's break up. I never want to see you again. Please don't harass me again. I will never forgive what happened just now. No matter what the reason, it's an atrocity in my heart. But—" Her voice was choked and trembling. She calmed down and continued, "Let's just call it a day, as if we had never met."
"No, I..." Yu Chuanbei stood there at a loss, and then he moved forward, but he didn't dare to get closer to her. "If you want to leave, I'll go and you stay. I'll transfer the house to you."
Ling Ling smiled sadly and said, "These are all yours. I can't possibly want them. You don't have to feel like you owe me anything. These can't make up for what you truly owe me."
She finally zipped up her backpack, put on her coat and changed her shoes at the door, and walked out resolutely from the door she had entered and exited countless times.
The past is too painful to recall, so let’s not recall it anymore.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ling Ling took a taxi to Hao Shengnan's house, which was the only place she could think of going.
She knocked on the door, and then someone opened it. It was Ren Qingshi who opened the door. He was wearing home clothes with his sleeves rolled up.
Ling Ling stood there in a daze, thinking for a moment that she had taken the wrong path, but soon she heard Hao Shengnan's voice coming from inside the house: "Is that a courier? It should be the delicious food I bought for you." The voice was sweet and joyful, with the coquettish tone unique to the period of passionate love.
Ren Qingshi rubbed his hands awkwardly, not knowing whether he should greet Ling Ling in this situation.
Seeing no movement, Hao Shengnan ran out excitedly. She had already put on a tank top and hot pants in her room despite the early spring weather. But the moment she saw Ling Ling, her expression suddenly turned wintery.
"Why are you here?" Hao Shengnan tried her best to act as usual, but the accompanying smile seemed a little forced.
"Hao Shengnan, what's wrong with you?" Ling Ling's sluggish brain finally pieced together the full picture of what had happened. She rudely grabbed Shengnan's arm and yelled at her, "Ren Qingshi is married! He has a daughter! What are you doing?"
Hao Shengnan didn't want to flatter her anymore. She shook off her shackles and said angrily, "You don't need to meddle in our affairs. He's married, but he's not in love anymore. Rong Xinhua hasn't been idle either. She slept with her boss a long time ago. He has a daughter, so what? I can treat her as my own. You have no right to judge what you don't understand!"
"But he hasn't divorced after all, right? He wouldn't dare tell his daughter about your relationship, right? A relationship between a man and a woman that can't be seen in public is an affair. If there really is any love between you, you two shouldn't put each other in such a situation! Ren Qingshi is a scum for doing such a thing. He doesn't deserve you to compromise with him!" Ling Ling was still angry at him for not fighting back. She wanted to persuade Sheng Nan.
Hao Shengnan, however, didn't appreciate it. She felt that it was a great humiliation for Ling Ling to yell at her in front of Ren Qingshi. She glanced at the luggage bag Ling Ling was carrying and said with a sneer, "You are lecturing me with such righteousness, but what's wrong with you? You were kicked out by Yu Chuanbei again and have nowhere to go, so you come to me for help? Are you going to put on this moral high ground and ask me to take you in? Didn't you also rely on men to get to where you are today? First, you relied on Yu Chuanbei to introduce you to a big boss to gain a foothold, then you relied on playing ambiguously with Zhong Mingtong to get projects, and now you want to parasitize on your boss to get a higher position. We are all unclean, just sluts with different lifestyles. Don't come to me to pretend to be a saint!"
Hearing her insults, Ling Ling's fingertips clenched into her fists and dug into the flesh of her palms. She was so angry that she was shaking all over and could no longer put together a complete sentence. She could only curse at her one last time in rage: "Hao Shengnan, go to hell!" Then, she staggered away with her heavy bag on her back. She thought she would never come back to this place again.
On this day, before noon, she had already experienced the most fucked up day of her life.
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