84. If we were them
During their university years, Rong Xinhua and Ren Qingshi were truly a match made in heaven. Their sweet walks around campus were a dazzling sight. Ling Ling had a good relationship with both of them, and she really didn't want Xinhua to describe their current life in such a bad light. She then said, "Xinhua, you and Qingshi have come a long way, and now you are married and have children. Everything depends on the hard work of the two of you starting from scratch. Of course, it is not easy. But now you have a complete family and healthy children. Even if there are many troubles, at least you are in pain and happy. A lot of things will happen in life, but those few things that are so heartwarming that they make people cry will make people feel that everything is worth it, what do you think?" Two lines of tears slid down Rong Xinhua's beautiful and haggard face: "That's why I can hold on until now. I will always remember that when we first started dating, there was a winter when the wind was very strong outside. He asked me to wait in the dormitory and not to go to the cafeteria to eat because it was too cold. Then he bought me buns and sent them to the downstairs of the dormitory. He was afraid that the buns would get cold, so he put them in his down jacket to warm them for me..." That night, Lingling and Xinhua had a long talk. Most of the time, Lingling was listening. She hoped to take on Xinhua's emotions and hoped that after Xinhua poured out her emotional garbage, she could go on lightly and continue to move forward gracefully and strongly in the heavy life. The next morning, just after dawn, Lingling received a WeChat message from Ren Qingshi, saying that he had arrived downstairs at her house. Lingling asked him to come up to the door to pick up Rong Xinhua, which would appear more sincere. Qingshi went upstairs and knocked on the door. Lingling went to open it and invited him in. "No, I'll just stay at the door. I'm really sorry to have disturbed you all night." Ren Qingshi also looked tired, and it seemed that he had not had a good time last night. Lingling comforted him and said, "It's okay. Without this opportunity, we old classmates would only see each other a few times a year. I'm very touched that you two trust me so much! Come in quickly. I asked Yu Chuanbei to stay in his room since last night to avoid making Xinhua feel uncomfortable, so you don't need to feel sorry. I didn't disturb you at all." Ren Qingshi still didn't plan to go in. "I'll wait for Xinhua to come out, and then we'll go back together." "Okay then." Lingling also stepped over the threshold and stood out, with her hands in the pockets of her home clothes, leaning against the wall to chat with him. "Xinhua drank a bottle of red wine last night, and we didn't go to bed until late at night. She's still awake, so I'll chat with you for a few minutes before waking her up." Seeing Qingshi nod with his head drooping, Lingling continued, "When we were in school, you two were the perfect couple in the department. Time will naturally test love,...
During their college years, Rong Xinhua and Ren Qingshi were truly a perfect match. They sparkled as they walked sweetly on campus together. Ling Ling had a good relationship with both of them, and she really didn't want Xinhua to describe their current life in such a bad light. So she said, "Xinhua, you and Qingshi have come this far, and now you are married and have children. Everything is built up from scratch by the two of you. Of course, it wasn't easy. But now you have a happy family and healthy children. Even though there are many troubles, at least you are happy and sad. Many things will happen in a person's life, but those few things that are so heartwarming that they make people cry will make people feel that everything is worth it. What do you think?"
Two lines of tears slid down Rong Xinhua's beautiful yet haggard face. "That's why I've been able to hold on until now. I'll always remember when we first started dating. One winter, the wind was really strong outside. He told me to wait in the dormitory and not to go to the cafeteria to eat because it was too cold. Then he bought me some steamed buns and sent them downstairs. He was afraid they would get cold, so he put them in his down jacket to warm them before bringing them to me..."
That night, Lingling and Xinhua had a long talk. Lingling was listening most of the time. She hoped to be able to take on Xinhua's emotions. She hoped that after Xinhua poured out all her emotional garbage, she could go on with a light heart and continue to move forward gracefully and strongly in the heavy life.
The next morning, just after dawn, Ling Ling received a WeChat message from Ren Qingshi, saying that he had arrived downstairs at her house. Ling Ling asked him to come up to the door to pick up Rong Xinhua, which would appear more sincere.
Qingshi went upstairs and knocked on the door. Lingling opened it and invited him in.
"No, I'll just stay at the door. I'm really sorry for disturbing you all night." Ren Qingshi also looked tired, and it seemed that he had not had a good time last night.
Ling Ling comforted him, saying, "It's okay. Without this opportunity, we old classmates wouldn't see each other more than a few times a year. I'm really touched that you two trust me so much! Come in quickly. I've been asking Yu Chuanbei to stay in his room since last night to avoid making Xinhua uncomfortable, so you don't need to feel sorry. I didn't disturb you at all."
Ren Qingshi still wasn't ready to go in, "Let me wait for Xinhua to come out, then we'll go back together."
"Okay then." Ling Ling also stepped over the threshold, her hands tucked into the pockets of her home clothes, leaning against the wall to chat with him. "Xinhua drank a bottle of red wine last night, and we didn't go to bed until late at night. She's still awake, so I'll talk to you for a few minutes before waking her up."
Seeing Qingshi nod with his head down, Lingling continued, "When we were in school, you two were the perfect couple in the department. Time will naturally test love, but the accumulation of feelings will not disappear in a vacuum. As the saying goes, an old couple should still support and tolerate each other, right?"
"Yeah, of course," Qingshi agreed, but his expression was weak. He thought for a moment and then added, "I made you laugh last night, but the core of comedy is tragedy, haha. Our marriage isn't special; it's probably the same for everyone else. The gap between people's expectations and reality is enormous. It takes many years for people to realize: many women don't have noticeable breasts, most men's sexual function can't stand up to scrutiny, and the vast majority of families in this world live in poverty. Yet, people always assume these basic facts are so unlikely to happen to them that they maintain unrealistic expectations for love and marriage. The secret to a happy marriage is to lower your expectations. But people often refuse to admit that their unhappiness stems from overly high expectations, believing they're simply unlucky and haven't found the right person.
Xinhua and I are in this same situation right now. She's constantly irritated by the social media feeds of those around her, watching them display affection in grand displays and their home-cooked meals appear unaffordable through filters. I can't give her the life she dreams of, and our lives are dull and trivial. The stark contrast is making her increasingly unhappy. We'll try to adjust; life has to go on.
Ling Ling smiled playfully at Qing Shi and said, "What you said reminds me of you speaking so eloquently at the school forum back then. You're still as brilliant and insightful as ever!"
Qingshi smiled and sighed, "I don't have any brilliance left. Life has smoothed out my edges and corners, and also polished me down to a matte finish."
Ling Ling chuckled at his amusement: "Then, great thinker Ren, can you use your superior wisdom to find a balance between dignity and harmony in the family?"
Qingshi smiled bitterly and said, "What dignity do I have at home? My dignity was thrown into the medical waste along with my daughter's placenta when she was born."
Rong Xinhua was awakened by their conversation. She stood up, tidied herself up briefly, picked up the COACH bag she had been carrying for five or six years, and walked to the door.
When Qingshi saw Xinhua coming out with a cold face, he looked away with a bit of embarrassment.
Ling Ling cleverly reconciled the two of them: "Qingshi has been waiting downstairs since before dawn. Look how sincere he is."
Rong Xinhua's expression was slightly touched, but he turned to Ling Ling and said, "Ling Ling, I'm sorry to bother you all night. You didn't get enough rest, and you still have to work today. I'm sorry."
"Oh, we slept in the same bed and talked to each other heart to heart yesterday. Why are you so distant to me when you opened your eyes this morning? Besides, I know everything about your relationship, from its inception to its completion. Don't be polite with me. You two should go back home together as husband and wife!" Lingling pushed Xinhua towards Qingshi. They said goodbye to Lingling gratefully and left.
In the narrow elevator, Rong Xinhua and Ren Qingshi could still clearly feel the distance between them.
After leaving the community, Qingshi muttered "I'm sorry" behind her.
Xinhua stopped abruptly and wanted to respond, but they had quarreled too many times. The old scenes reappeared in her mind, and the disappointments accumulated too much, and she was tired of it.
Ren Qingshi had no choice but to say, "Take a taxi home, wash up, and then go to work. There's still time."
"Why take a taxi?" She wanted to bring up the matter of money again, but it would trigger a new round of quarrels, so she had to give up. "I'll go directly to the office. There is a set of toiletries at the office." She then walked into the subway passage and was submerged in the shadow of the descending elevator.
Although Rong Xinhua and his wife have left, Ling Ling still feels sad in her heart.
She wanted to get rid of the psychological trauma of watching their love being twisted, deformed, dismembered and shattered by being busy, so she picked up the leftover snacks on the coffee table and the messy blanket on the sofa.
The door behind her creaked open, and she felt Yu Chuanbei slowly approaching her and gently hugging her from behind.
She felt him on her shoulders and sighed helplessly.
She couldn't help asking, "What's wrong?"
He sighed again, and then said, "The soundproofing in the bedroom isn't that good. I heard almost everything you talked about last night."
"Did we disturb your rest?"
"That's not the point." He pulled her shoulders, tossed aside the half-folded blanket in her hands, and pulled her to sit on the sofa. He said seriously, "Your conversation really scares me. We're in the throes of love and romance, and everything's going well. Suddenly, I heard about your friends' bloody failed marriages. I wanted to jump out and cover your ears so that you wouldn't be disturbed by them. We won't be like them."
"We haven't been together long enough to reach their stage. If we had gone through as much as they had, would our situation definitely be better than theirs? I don't know. I only know that when Xinhua and Qingshi were dating in school, their relationship was no less sweet than ours, otherwise, they wouldn't have resolutely entered into marriage right after graduation." Ling Ling was still shrouded in the low pressure of gray haze.
Yu Chuanbei knew this would happen. He held her hand and patiently advised her, "The core problem of all the unhappiness in their marriage is money. She feels he can't make money, and regrets her poorly considered decision. He feels she's too focused on money, which undermines his value and self-esteem. They're constantly in conflict because of this."
If we were in the same situation: You're very independent and strong-willed, you don't want to depend on anyone, so you won't easily blame your unsatisfactory life on your own bad luck or others' lack of effort; and if my income isn't enough to support my family and live peacefully, I'd choose to quit my low-paying job and try new possibilities. Even if it's more difficult, I'll still find ways to work hard.
Ling Ling still couldn't be convinced. "Your thinking is based on your existing life experience. You come from a happy family with good conditions. You can follow your heart and try. The strong material and spiritual foundation of your original family can support you in continuous trial and error. But Ren Qingshi is different. He is a child who came from the countryside. It was so hard for him to get this job. He has no confidence to make a leap. He has to be cautious with every step forward. So we can't arbitrarily assume that we will never become like them. If things go wrong, we may even be worse than them!"
Yu Chuanbei wanted to continue talking, but Ling Ling was a little annoyed and didn't want to continue the discussion. She went into the bathroom, washed up, and got ready for work.
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