13. She never looks forward to reunion after a long separation
Yu Chuanbei noticed that Luo Hao seemed to have taken off after the start of his junior year. He had always been a casual academic, having done poorly on his sophomore final exams due to a breakup, but he hadn't taken it seriously. But this academic year, he spent every day in the library and study room, often cramming heavy books into the night. Later, through a chance conversation with classmates from their college, Yu Chuanbei learned that Luo Hao had dropped out of school to pursue a second degree in art. He had begged his instructor countless times to transfer the credits, and he had repeatedly promised to complete his studies successfully. Luo Hao had always been open with him about everything, big or small, but he was surprised to find out about something so serious. It wasn't until he accidentally came across the French dictionary Luo Hao had kept under his pillow that he understood. Two years later, Luo Hao earned a double degree in Creative Communication and Art History in Hong Kong, and his French was now proficient enough to communicate effectively. He didn't return to Shanghai, didn't take the postgraduate entrance exam, and didn't apply to any companies in China. Yu Chuanbei had, of course, anticipated that he would journey to France to pursue his Parisian dream. But when he actually stood before him and said his goodbyes, Yu Chuanbei felt a pang of pain. The two men stood facing each other, each filled with sorrow. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, planes took off and landed, the people in their lives coming and going, only to eventually disperse. "Luo Hao, you know, going to France isn't a good choice. It's making your parents worry. You don't have to," Yu Chuanbei said, trying to persuade him, even if it meant leaving and returning. Luo Hao, however, smiled with relief and said, "Life, after all, is all about experiences and attempts. Otherwise, it's all in vain. My parents said they can give me two years. Whether I succeed or not, I won't regret it later." Seeing that Yu Chuanbei still looked like a worried father, Luo Hao couldn't help but lecture him back, "You should go to America. It's a good thing Bai Xiaoxiao is going abroad too, so you two can have someone to look after." Yu Chuanbei only chuckled bitterly at his words. Seeing him like this, Luo Hao sarcastically said, "Look at how shamelessly calm you are about this relationship. I'm really looking forward to seeing you meet a girl who'll torment you like hell." "Tsk, I'm not as hopeless as you—" Yu Chuanbei scoffed confidently, his laughter even more powerful than the white trail left by an airplane in the sky. *~*~*~*~*~*~ Yu Jinnan hurried into the Ball Gallery, her camel-colored trench coat and Hermès scarf fluttering in the wind as she walked at lightning speed. She walked to the front desk and handed over a sample of her painting and a brochure tucked under her arm. Damn...
Yu Chuanbei noticed that Luo Hao seemed to have taken off since the start of his junior year. He had always been a relaxed academic player, having taken his sophomore final exams terribly due to a breakup, but he hadn't taken it seriously. But this year, he spent every day in the library and study room, often slogging through thick books late into the night.
Later, when Yu Chuanbei accidentally chatted with his classmates in their college, he learned that Luo Hao had dropped out of school to pursue a second degree in art. He had asked his supervisor for help countless times before he finally settled the issue of credit transfer, and he had repeatedly assured that he would complete his studies successfully.
Luo Hao had always been frank with him about everything, big or small, but he hadn't expected that he wouldn't mention a single word about something this big this time. It wasn't until he accidentally flipped through the French dictionary Luo Hao had kept under his pillow that he finally understood.
Two years later, Luo Hao earned a double degree in Creative Communication and Art History in Hong Kong, and his French was conversant enough. He didn't return to Shanghai, didn't take the postgraduate entrance exam, and didn't submit a resume to any domestic companies.
Yu Chuanbei had, of course, anticipated that he would travel to France to pursue his Parisian dream. But when he actually stood before him and said his goodbyes, Yu Chuanbei felt rather bitter.
The two men stood facing each other, each filled with sorrow. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, planes took off and landed. People in life came and went, and would eventually scatter.
"Luo Hao, you know, going to France is not a good choice for you. It will make your parents worry. There is no need for you to do that." Yu Chuanbei wanted to persuade him again, even if it meant he could go and come back later.
Luo Hao smiled with relief and said, "Life is nothing more than various experiences and attempts. Otherwise, it would be a waste of time. My parents said they can give me two years. Whether I succeed or not, I won't regret it in the future."
Seeing that Yu Chuanbei still looked like a worried father, Luo Hao couldn't help but lecture him: "You should go to America and be well. It's a good thing Bai Xiaoxiao is going abroad with you, so you two can take care of each other."
After hearing what he said, Yu Chuanbei just smiled bitterly three times.
Seeing him like this, Luo Hao sarcastically said, "Look at how shamelessly you treat this relationship so calmly. I'm really looking forward to seeing you meet a girl who tortures you to the point of being completely tormented."
"Tsk, I'm not as useless as you--" Yu Chuanbei sneered confidently, even more powerful than the white trail left by an airplane in the sky.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yu Jinnan hurried into the Ball Gallery, her camel-colored trench coat and Hermès scarf fluttering in the wind as she walked at lightning speed. She walked to the front desk, handed over a sample of paintings and a brief introduction tucked under her arm, hastily signed a receipt, and turned to leave.
As she put the receipt into her bag, her eyes accidentally caught sight of a man standing in the exhibition hall. Her rapid steps froze, and she looked up to take a closer look, then froze in place.
Luo Hao walked slowly towards her and smiled kindly at her: "I saw you as soon as you walked in. There are few people in Paris who walk as fast as you."
Yu Jinnan was in no mood to respond to his teasing, and asked directly, "Why are you here?"
"I work here!" Luo Hao said nonchalantly, showing her the work badge hanging around his neck, which showed that he was an exhibition manager.
Yu Jinnan frowned and asked with a sullen face, "What time do you get off work?"
"6:30." Luo Hao spoke very briefly because he could see that she was in a hurry.
Her phone rang. It was the driver urging her. She answered the call, glanced at him briefly as a goodbye, and then continued walking out of the gallery at the same pace as before.
At 6:30 in the evening, Yu Jinnan appeared at the Ball Gallery again. But this time she did not go in, but waited at the door.
Yu Jinnan saw Luo Hao talking to a French woman who was visiting. After politely seeing her off, he began to tidy up the exhibition hall and finally mop the floor.
She watched him quietly through the glass window until he finished his work and came out with his backpack. When she saw him, she stood there in surprise. Then she walked up to him and said, "Let's go have dinner together."
He walked silently behind her and let her take them to a restaurant. She remained silent during the meal. Luo Hao looked up at her several times, but she just lowered her brows and said nothing. She looked like a parent who was full of anger and had set a rule for herself not to scold her children during meals.
Luo Hao wiped his mouth with a napkin, then put down his knife and fork and said to her, "I'm full. You can say whatever you want to say now."
Yu Jinnan also put down his knife and fork, took a big sip of wine and asked him, "Does your coming to Paris have anything to do with me?"
"Of course." He had a relaxed smile on his face, and his eyes no longer had the cautious tension he always had when talking to her two years ago.
Yu Jinnan took a deep breath and said, "I have a boyfriend now, and I am very satisfied with my current life."
"I heard Yu Chuanbei say that I'm not here to hinder you in any way." Luo Hao said magnanimously, but his eyes lowered and he no longer looked her in the eye.
Yu Jinnan angrily scolded him, "Then what are you doing here? I just listened to your French. It's okay for simple communication, but it's completely inadequate for in-depth conversation. You're a Chinese literature student, what can you do in France? Mop the floor in a private gallery all the time? How much money do your parents have for you to spend like that? The gallery only hired you because their latest exhibition is related to Chinese culture. Once this storm blows over, you could be fired at any time. It's hard for a Parsons graduate to make it in Paris, let alone you!"
Yu Jinnan's words were stinging, and when Luo Hao looked up again, his gaze was like a sharp blade. He lowered his tone and said, "You don't have to always humiliate me to drive me away. You have your pursuits, and I have mine. I am indeed here because of you. I want to see you again, and I want to have a good talk with you. But what I really want to do is to get along with you on an equal footing. You just started working a few years earlier than me, but in the past, you used it as a gap between us, always placing our identities and status on a scale of disparity until it led to an imbalance. Now, I also work, and although I am still far from the standard of a man you would admire, I don't think I am that bad, and I won't always have my self-esteem trampled under your feet, so I will slowly grow up by your side, slowly become better, and let you see it."
Jin Nan looked straight into his eyes, and the eager persistence in his eyes moved her. She hurriedly avoided his gaze, looked out the window at the mottled night, and said in a low voice: "We broke up before, and it wasn't entirely because of these things."
"I know." Luo Hao sat up straight and tried to lean towards her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I've always wanted to apologize to you, but I know you won't accept it easily. So I've been working hard these past two years, trying to make myself better, trying to be someone you can accept. No matter how hard it has been along the way, I hope to be able to stand in front of you again and say sorry to you in person."
Yu Jinnan has never been a crying woman, but at this moment, there were some hazy tears in her eyes reflected in the window.
Her cell phone rang, she calmed herself down and answered it.
He could hear her speaking French now; she was calling him "dear".
"My boyfriend is here to pick me up, I'm leaving." Yu Jinnan paid the bill and stood up to leave.
Luo Hao wanted to keep her and wanted to tell her more things, but when he saw the blond man waiting outside the door, who was similar in style to the man who kissed her neck on the rooftop in Melbourne that year, he didn't make any unnecessary moves and just watched her leave quietly.
The night darkened even more without her, and he continued to stare blankly. He anticipated that Yu Jinnan might not have been eager for their long-awaited reunion, and might even have considered his presence a form of mental harassment. Yu Chuanbei had repeatedly warned him that his second sister had always been emotionally indifferent, always going her own way and never stopping for anyone. But when it became clear, he still found it difficult to accept, yet he felt helpless. After all, he was nothing to her.
As Yu Jinnan had described, Luo Hao's life in Paris was indeed not easy. He struggled mightily to hold down his job as an exhibition curator at a gallery, his duties becoming increasingly diverse, yet his salary remained flat. To avoid spending his parents' money, he moved out of his studio and rented a single room in a shared apartment.
Since that day, Yu Jinnan never came to see him again. He knew she wanted him to give up. Sorry, he refused.
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