Yan Zheng had a habit of never processing food by the river near the cave entrance, fearing that the smell of animal entrails and blood would cause unnecessary trouble.
We caught four wild ducks today, and as usual, we cleaned them by the lake at the foot of the mountain. Following Jiang Xi's instructions, we neatly wrapped the plucked duck down in banana leaves.
He also hunted a creature he didn't know what it was, which looked like a small wild boar. It was all black with fine downy hair, about the size of a small gas cylinder, round and plump, with two unusually large noses like a pig's, and unusually small ears like a deer's.
When slaughtering it, we found that this creature had a very high fat content and the meat was quite thick, but the fibers looked a bit coarse. I wonder what it will taste like.
As evening approached, Yan Zheng found Jiang Xi waiting for him at the foot of the mountain, and the two of them carried bags of various sizes back to the cave together.
Before even reaching the cave entrance, they could hear the fawn's "yoyo" calls. Because of its leg injury, Jiang Xi hadn't dared to let it out of the cave and had kept it inside. She even used a ceramic bowl to hold water for it. Hearing their voices, the fawn called even more joyfully.
Jiang Xi quickly put down her backpack and took out some freshly dug root to feed it. To her relief, the fawn didn't eat the food right away, but instead licked her palm first. Jiang Xi was so ticklish that she quickly grabbed its little head and rubbed it.
At dinner, Yan Zheng cut off one of the legs of the animal that looked like a pig but wasn't, and roasted it. The meat of this kind of animal was too thick and too coarse, so it was expected to take a while to roast.
While it was still light, Jiang Xi first marinated the cleaned wild duck with salt and Sichuan peppercorn powder, then used four wooden sticks to prop it open, and then pressed it flat with a stone slab. She left it to sit overnight, and the duck meat would be taken out to air dry the next day.
Then she built a small pit in the river, put the duck down she brought back into the pit to wash it clean, and the cleaned duck down could be stuffed into fiber cloth so that it could be used as a mattress and quilt in winter.
Washing duck down is a time-consuming task. After rinsing it clean, you have to pick out any stray feathers by hand and then wash it carefully with soap. Knowing that slow and steady wins the race, she wasn't in a hurry and focused on getting it clean.
As the last ray of light faded, a rich aroma of meat wafted from the cave.
This creature, resembling a pig but not quite, has coarse-looking meat fibers, but it doesn't taste dry at all. The lean meat is covered with a layer of fat, and the roasted leg meat has a golden-brown crust. Because it's been roasted long enough, the skin is crispy and the meat is tender. It's fatty but not greasy, and has a strong numbing and fragrant flavor. Jiang Xi couldn't help but eat a few more bites.
She named the animal they were eating today "Little Ear Pig," because it tasted like pork but didn't look like a pig. They had only eaten one leg, and they didn't know what to do with the rest. Yan Zheng then thought of the confit pork from the southwest region.
First, remove the large pieces of fat from the pig, then cut the remaining meat into equal-sized pieces.
Marinate the meat chunks with salt, and render the fat into oil over a low heat in a pan. Let it sit overnight, then the next day, deep-fry the marinated meat chunks in the oil until they turn golden brown. Finally, store the meat and oil together in a jar.
When eating, scoop out the meat and fat together and stir-fry it with other vegetables. This method of making confit meat not only keeps well but also gives it a unique flavor.
As for the remaining ribs, they were marinated and made into cured ribs.
Jiang Xi also thought this method was good, so she started rendering lard.
Yan Zheng was weaving rattan baskets nearby. She had been in this world for some time now, and there were more and more dried mushrooms, roots, potatoes and firewood. In addition, the little deer had been kept in the cave, and the cave, which was not big to begin with, was becoming more and more crowded. Everything was piled on the ground. She couldn't stand it anymore, so Yan Zheng would take out the rattan and weave rattan baskets whenever she had free time.
Two oil lamps were lit in the cave, and the two chatted idly.
Jiang Xi asked a question that had been bothering her for a long time: "Actually, I've always had a question in my mind."
How did we get here?
Yan Zheng said, "Based on past experience, I will only come into this world when my body has suffered a huge trauma and I am in a coma."
“When I arrived in Bei’an, the city was already paralyzed. So I found a local rescue organization and followed the rescue team to your neighborhood. You were already in shock at that time. With the medical resources available then, you were destined to die.”
Jiang Xi's heart tightened, and her voice carried a hint of urgency: "What did you do?"
Yan Zheng said, "What are you thinking? I asked someone to get me some medicine, and I passed out after taking it."
Seeing Jiang Xi looking at him, he gave her a helpless smile: "It's legal."
Jiang Xi asked, "Then how did you know I would come along?"
He paused, his gaze deepening.
"bet"
“When I came here last time, I was carrying a practice sword, so I bet that anything that comes into contact with my body might be able to come to this world. So I put on my backpack and held you in my arms.”
Thinking of something, Jiang Xi asked again, "Then what about Uncle? Is he also in the resettlement center?"
Yan's mother passed away when Yan Zheng was in college, and she never mentioned it again.
Yan Zheng remained silent for a while, his gaze gradually becoming serious.
After a long silence, he said, "He has passed away."
"Three years ago, he suffered a cerebral thrombosis and passed away before six months had passed."
Jiang Xi was speechless. She opened her mouth but couldn't say anything. She was never good at comforting people, just like now, because she knew that no matter what she said, she could never truly understand his sadness.
When I was little, I thought Yan Tongqing was the biggest devil. He was violent and suspicious.
As she grew older, she felt that he was too harsh and strict with Yan Zheng. While she was reading extracurricular books at home on weekends, Yan Zheng not only had to attend tutoring classes but also participate in fencing lessons. At such a young age, his workload was so heavy that it sounded suffocating.
But this doesn't change the weight that the role of father holds in Yan Zheng's heart.
Blood ties are a wondrous and complex connection. Perhaps it is his true nature, or perhaps it is a human flaw. People can never escape their attachment to home and cannot abandon the land from which they grew up, even if it is not beautiful or full of pain and indifference.
She walked over and sat down beside him: "Everyone has..."
Yan Zheng gripped her hand tightly, interrupting her before she could offer a word of comfort: "I'm the one who killed him."
Jiang Xi's grip tightened slightly.
Yan Zheng said, "When I saw that photo, I ran away from the hospital."
His voice was somewhat low: "He came to see me late at night, and in his anxiety, he suffered a stroke."
It was a dark day. Yan Zheng took advantage of everyone being asleep and ran away from the hospital that very night, changed his clothes, and turned off his phone. The next day, when he turned his phone back on, he received a call from the city hospital.
When he arrived at the hospital that night, Yan Tongqing had already been moved to the intensive care unit. The corridor was dimly lit, and he stood silently outside the observation window, looking at the man lying inside.
The person on the bed had gauze wrapped around his head and tubes inserted all over his body. He lay there motionless, and he felt he should be happy and grateful that he was finally free.
That person will never again puff out his chest, open his eyes, and humiliate him with the most vicious words; he can no longer stand up.
Yan Zheng, however, could not feel happy. He felt as if he had a breath stuck in his throat, unable to breathe, and his whole being was shrouded in a thick fog.
After a long pause, Yan Zheng continued, "The old man was in the hospital for less than three months before he passed away."
"Later I retired from the national team and found a job."
Jiang Xi listened carefully. When she heard him say that he ran out of the hospital after seeing the photo, her heart skipped a beat. It must be that photo. Did he run out of the hospital to come find her?
She leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder: "It's not your fault. He always tries to control everything about you, but he forgets that you're an adult now."
She sighed: "I might sound heartless for saying this. But you are a human being, not a puppet. You need feelings, you need understanding, and you need happiness and a safe haven in life. He may be your father, but he shouldn't treat you like a puppet."
"Birth, aging, illness, and death are natural laws, unpredictable variables. None of these are your fault."
Yan Zheng lowered his head: "It's self-blame. I used to hate him. I thought, how come other people's parents are so understanding and kind, but I had to be trapped in a cage by him for the first half of my life."
He stretched out his palm and looked at it. Because of his recent hard work, it was covered with chapped hands of all sizes. But even so, it couldn't hide the thick calluses on the base of his thumb and the pads of his fingers, which were formed from years of training.
Yan Zheng said calmly, "Even my favorite sport, fencing, was completely worn down by him. After he left, my hands trembled so badly that I couldn't compete anymore."
Perhaps it's because I can't get over that mental hurdle; it's regret and self-blame.
“I thought about dying every day during my time in the hospital. But I never thought about letting him die. Even if he had to die, it shouldn’t be this way.”
**
This conversation left Jiang Xi feeling suffocated all night.
As night deepened, looking at Yan Zheng sleeping next to her, Jiang Xi reached out and touched his eyebrows and eyes. Although she couldn't see anything clearly, she could actually trace his appearance with her fingertips even with her eyes closed.
Pang's features are distinct, giving the impression that he has a very resolute character, and his thick, sparse eyebrows add a touch of wildness.
People say that those with light eyebrows are heartless, but he is the most devoted to both his family and friends.
So much has happened in these short three years. Jiang Xi thought that everything would be alright after she withdrew from his life, but she never expected that fate would play such a cruel trick on her.
Everything seemed to be moving in a positive direction, but he was forever left behind on that night three years ago.
Jiang Xi silently pondered Yan Zheng's words from earlier that day. She wondered if things would have turned out differently if she had persisted a little longer and gone to see him.
But she also knew that nothing would change. The existence of the father figure was like an incurable virus in Yan Zheng's blood. It would not disappear because of external people, nor would it be cured because of her companionship. This deep-rooted mark could only be erased by him little by little.
Jiang Xi suddenly couldn't sleep, and a deep sense of powerlessness welled up inside her. She turned over, her clear eyes gazing up at the crack in the mountain wall. Outside the cave, the bright moon hung in the sky, and the stars shone brightly.
As the sky began to lighten with the first hint of dawn, she finally closed her eyes, half-asleep.
The next morning, as soon as Jiang Xi woke up, she smelled the aroma of meat.
Stepping out of the inner room, I saw Yan Zheng busy at the stove. He was frying yesterday's cured meat. The lard gradually seeped out of the meat under the high temperature, and the pieces of meat in the pot had turned golden and glistened with an enticing sheen.
Jiang Xi glanced at Yan Zheng's face out of the corner of her eye, and only after confirming that he was alright did she feel relieved and go over to check the ingredients.
Yan Zheng gently blocked her outstretched head with his hand and said with a helpless smile, "It's hot, it'll splatter oil. Go wash your face, we'll have mushroom stir-fry with meat later."
Upon hearing about stir-fried mushrooms with meat, Jiang Xi's eyes lit up instantly. She had almost forgotten the taste of stir-fried dishes after several dozen days, and volunteered, "I'll go wash the mushrooms."
They both, without prior agreement, did not mention yesterday's conversation again.
When she went out to wash up, she also took the duck meat that she had marinated yesterday out and hung it in a shady place to air dry.
After washing up, Jiang Xi carefully cleaned the several non-toxic porcini mushrooms she had picked at the foot of the mountain yesterday, sliced them thinly, and took them into the cave.
Yan Zheng transferred the golden chunks of meat from the pot into the earthenware jar, leaving the largest piece on the stone slab. He then poured all the remaining grease from the pot into the jar and sealed it with oil to prevent the meat and grease from spoiling.
Yan Zheng sliced the remaining meat, sautéed it with wild scallions and Sichuan peppercorns, and then added fresh boletus.
Yesterday, he used the bones removed from the small pig to make a thick bone broth with some lotus root.
The moment the stir-fried porcini mushrooms entered her mouth, Jiang Xi was so overwhelmed by their freshness that she was speechless. For the first time, she experienced the tangible deliciousness of the phrase "so fresh it'll make your eyebrows fall off."
This was the first time they had cooked since they came into the mountains. The porcini mushrooms were tender and smooth, and the deep-fried small-eared pork was moist but not greasy, with a long aftertaste. Paired with root potatoes, it was both delicious and filling. Jiang Xi thought that it seemed she should collect more wild mushrooms to store.
Yan Zheng had to continue hunting today, while Jiang Xi stayed in the cave to clean the down ducks she had brought back yesterday.
After a night, the down was completely soaked. The dirt attached to it could be easily rubbed off with her hands. She carefully washed it several times and rubbed it with soapberry water many times.
Until the duck down becomes fine, white, and odorless, lay it flat in a clean wicker basket to drain the water, then cover it with a fiber cloth and put it in the sun to dry.
While the vines were drying, she went up the mountainside and cut a lot of vines to dry. The vine fibers she had made last time had all been crocheted into fabric, dozens of pieces of various sizes, which she estimated could make a bed sheet and a duvet cover.
These tasks look easy, but it took her most of the day to sort through just a few kilograms of duck down.
When Yan Zheng returned carrying his prey at the height of the sun, Jiang Xi was laboriously pounding the down.
After drying, the down will all shrink and stick together. It must be wrapped in cloth and beaten repeatedly with a wooden stick until it becomes fluffy and soft before it can be used to fill quilts and clothes.
Seeing Jiang Xi pounding down, her forehead covered in sweat, Yan Zheng walked over and took the stick from her, saying, "I'll do this kind of work when I get back next time."
He always wanted to take extra care of him.
Jiang Xi didn't want to hear him say that: "It's not that I can't do it, it's just a bit hot, it's fine."
"If I rely on you for everything, then I'm really going to be useless."
Jiang Xi wiped her sweat, smiled as she finished speaking, and walked to Yan Zheng's carrying pole to unload the prey he had brought back that day.
He had a good haul today. It seems he went to the same reed pond he visited yesterday and caught a small-eared pig, two wild ducks, two black fish, and a large yellow croaker.
The prey has been completely cleaned up, and the duck down was once again wrapped in banana leaves and brought back. Jiang Xi continued to soak the fresh duck down in water, and marinated the wild duck meat and black fish with salt and Sichuan peppercorn powder.
At lunchtime, Jiang Xi grilled the large yellow croaker and served it with the leftover lotus root and bone soup from the morning. The two of them had a hearty lunch.
After the meal, Yan Zheng did not rest and continued hunting down the mountain.
These busy days lasted for almost half a month.
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